It'll be okay!

(They/them, 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈, Adult, In therapy) Hi, I have a paraphilic disorder and this is my recovery blog. This is a safe space for anyone who struggles with distressing sexual thoughts/feelings/interests -- especially if you are also a survivor of abuse.

[pararecovery]

Welcome to my recovery and education blog for paraphilic disorder. This is a safe space for anyone who struggles with distressing sexual thoughts/feelings/interests -- especially if you are also a survivor of abuse (you're still welcome here even if you're not). I post resources, information, and my own personal experiences with paraphilic disorder. I also advocate against abuse and harassment.

Minors are allowed to read for the information and resources, but please do not reblog/like the posts that are marked mature or with a DNI! This is just a personal boundary of mine. Thank you!

🧡 A bit about me:

I'm queer (they/them pronouns)

I'm an adult, married, and European

I've been in therapy for 10+ years

I'm neurodivergent and disabled

💙 Post directory:

Paraphilia vs. Paraphilic Disorder & debunking common myths

Resources for adults concerned about their attraction to children

Is it bad to fantasize about your paraphilia?

Resource to help survivors identify the impact of sexual abuse

The red flags of an unhealthy relationship with fiction

Advocate against abuse without stigmatizing non-abusers

It's possible to have a paraphilia for something you don't like

Extreme stances on recovery

Things get better

How to tell if sexual fantasies are causing you problems?

Roleplaying trauma isn't always the answer

Tips for coping with paraphilic disorders

Arousal non-concordance

[anniespositivity]

Source: Pinterest

[pararecovery]

When you're engaging with a story or artwork, do you notice yourself...

Getting overly anxious, upset, or angry?

Remembering your past traumas?

Feeling like a monster, bad person, out of control, etc.?

Feeling like you're trying to hurt or punish yourself?

Feeling like it's the only thing that can bring you sexual pleasure?

Feeling addicted, like you couldn't stop engaging if you wanted to?

Feeling far away from yourself, like being detached or dissociated?

Wishing to hurt yourself or the author or others?

Having thoughts, feelings, or reactions that bring you distress?

This are all red flags 🚩🚩🚩

Fiction isn't supposed to harm you!

If you notice any of these red flags, you should take a step back and assess your relationship with the fiction. Do you think it's healthy? If not, there are ways to change that! Sometimes that means you need to completely disengage from it, but it can also mean you need to change the way you currently interact with it. It's always okay to block certain artists, blacklist certain phrases or tags, and block websites. It's also okay if you need more professional help too.

I know sometimes it's all easier said than done. Just, please take care!

[pararecovery]

I’ve been making a website with resources for people with paraphilias, especially paraphilic disorders. It’s coming along. 😊💛

[desirtips]

This disability pride month I encourage all to open themselves up to help speak for those with paraphilic disorders and defend them. It's not easy, but people need to be educated. This month is the absolute hardest in many, because even "anti ableist" disabled people turn around and get hella ableist when it comes to a paraphile

[todaysbird]

[howifeltabouthim]

'You cannot change what has gone before, but you can stop any more harm.'

Alison Goodman, from The Ladies Road Guide to Utter Ruin

[sourisking]

Reminder that Harm Against Minors is a tumblr report option that should be used!

[Reminder that harm against minors is a tumblr report option that should be used!]

I’m so serious when I say this but if someone says they want to rape children fucking report them. Instantly. Tumblr will request an email response with links, and I’d suggest using a third party archive source if at all possible.

[paraily2-deactivated20251211]

I always felt alienated as someone who has childhood sexual trauma but wasn’t hurt by a pedophile. I didn’t know where I fit.

Was I hurt by an adult? Yes. 

But they didn’t do it out of lust or attraction. I felt the need to justify my trauma by somehow convincing myself that maybe they were attracted to me–even though they weren’t.

Quite frankly, I didn’t believe I had sexual trauma until I was able to truly comprehend that MAPs and child molesters are two very different things. I clung onto the idea so much of the “inherently evil pedophile who sought out to get me” because it felt like the only way to validate my trauma.

I realize that is no longer the case, and understanding that my abuser(s) weren’t MAPs has been healing for me. I’ve been able to look at my trauma objectively rather than making it easily digestible for myself and others.

I know there are so many others like me—those who also suppress their childhood sexual trauma because their abuser doesn’t fit the “scary pedophile who likes kids” mold.

I see you all. Your sexual trauma deserves to be acknowledged.

Learning that most sexual abuse doesn’t stem from attraction but instead power is a valuable thing for everyone to learn. And I can only hope that knowledge becomes more widespread.

[spiritualseeker777]

I’ve always hated “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger” - it’s so much more complicated than that

[geekinglikeaboss]

Please go watch Sex Explained on Netflix. Not only is it a great resource for the basic sex education that is sorely lacking in the U.S., but some of ya’ll need to take a deep breath and remember the difference between fantasy vs reality. This purity culture thing that we’re going through right now is directly harmful to responsible, healthy sexual expression. BTW this woman, Lisa Diamond, is a noted psychologist and has been pushing for greater understanding of womens sexuality as a whole.

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

it’s not too late, because you’re alive right now, reading this

[proshippers-against-censorship]

People need to learn one very important fact:

You cannot control what you are aroused by and it is not reflective of your morality.

No, I don't care what the thing in question is. As long as you are not hurting actual, real people, your kinks and fetishes do not and never have made you a bad person. People spouting "you are bad for being aroused by this thing" rhetoric sound like conservative boomer Christians talking about how being gay is a sin.

I repeat:

YOU CAN NOT CONTROL WHAT AROUSES YOU. AROUSAL IS NOT INDICATIVE OF MORALITY. IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT THE THING AROUSING YOU IS.

.

[pararecovery]

Apparently some people out there are so “anti” zoophiles that they even harass disordered zoophiles, anti-contact zoophiles, and any who are in recovery. “Zoophile” doesn’t mean animal abuser; all it means is that someone is attracted to animals. Stop conflating the two. People do not have a choice in their attractions. In the case of it being part of a disorder, it’s often incredibly distressing to the person too. Having an attraction to something doesn’t mean you are going to act on it or even have desires to do so. It doesn’t mean you condone animal abuse. But I cannot fathom why someone would hate disordered zoophiles in recovery of all things?? Imagine being against people with a debilitating disorder who are getting help for it??? 🤨

[positivitygenic]

please remember that you have inherently worth as a being that exists, even while disabled.

[traumaandkink]

The way to handle abusers in the kink community isn’t for everyone to “stop doing kink” or to not talk about it.

Talking about it is actually how people learn the difference between abuse and kink and how they learn to do things safely.

Let’s stop making people feel ashamed of their interest in kink because then they may hide it away and may not know something is wrong.

[theamphibianmen]

I'm so done actually if you aren't a CSA survivor you don't get to decide what is and isn't pedophilia. Ageplay and DDLG and whatever the fuck else aren't "basically pedophilia" because sexual activity between consenting adults ISN'T FUCKING PEDOPHILIA! Dating an ADULT who happens to have "childlike features" isn't pedophilia because they're a FUCKING ADULT! Also!! These sentiments are extremely fucking ableist!!! "It's unethical to have sex with this adult because they have features I deem too childish" will always, without fail, lead to "it's unethical to have sex with this disabled adult because they're basically a child." Also guess what? Comparing ageplay and DDLG to pedophilia does NOT cause the moral outrage you think it does. You're just downplaying the severity of CSA. Sexual attraction to kids is, in so many cases, not the motivation behind assaulting a child. It's the power the adult has over that child. It's the fact that they can hurt someone without having to see them as a person. Because seeing kids as people is considered a radical point of view in the absolute hell world we live in. Child molestation survivors don't need you to speak for us. We've spoken up before, we can do it again. Stop trying to be a goddamn knight in shining armor to us and actually fucking listen for once