Me irl

Chronically melancholy.

[pardonmypants]

[pardonmypants]

Long walk home... thankfully beauty exists in nature. A good view makes all the difference.

[pardonmypants]

The truth hurts.

I’m immature. I let the worst parts of me tumble out to innocent bystanders.

It’s abundantly clear.

They definitely notice.

They see me notice too.

They see me noticing them noticing me.

A stutter develops.

[pardonmypants]

Ever feel just overwhelmingly mediocre?

Like, paralyzed by your own mediocrity?

[pardonmypants]

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.

[pardonmypants]

To shave or not to shave

Pros: Vagina hair keeps urine from going everywhere.

Cons: Too much of it keeps urine from going anywhere.

[pardonmypants]

Breakfast of champions

Garlic bread I eat

With pizza and dark coffee.

RIP tastebuds.

[pardonmypants]

I have 3 categories of productivity in my day to consider it a good one:

do something creative

do something for the present, call it a present - eat some cake

do something that’ll make future me want to send present me a thank you card

[pardonmypants]

Appreciate the little things

Like when the handle to the mug you heated in the microwave is perfectly faced in your direction when you go to take it out.

[pardonmypants]

Let me Regale you with the tale of Bertha, Guardian of the back porch light. Though she had cold little eyes She ate all the flies, we felt her debt was paid. Then along came spring and a marvelous thing, Bertha gave birth to fucking hundreds of tiny demon babies who claimed the back yard as the foundation of their intricately connected homeland within days.

[pardonmypants]

When all you run into are a few kindred spirits who also wait for rough weather to avoid other people on the trail.

[pardonmypants]

How does your garden grow?

[pardonmypants]

Feeling down with some mood swings, figured I might as well deal with emotions on a real swing... It was definitely the lift I need :)

[pardonmypants]

Had to reevaluate my sex life today while puking over an abs workout I got by faking orgasms instead of being an adult and communicating my needs.

How’s your Tuesday?

[pardonmypants]

I’ve learned I’m not great at gram stains, but I’ve found my niche creating living art instillations of the cosmos with microbes. Still haven’t learned how to properly frame up pictures.

[pardonmypants]

Moss I inquire, Are you afraid of heights? ‘Cause That would really suck...

[pardonmypants]

Today’s adventure outfit 🌸

Music vibes: Phantogram

Hair cut: men’s barber who hasn’t touched women’s hair in 15 years.

Me: looking like a Ramona Quimby wannabe Molly Ringwald… but at least my neck and shoulders are finally free, eh?