Untitled

I'll talk about things that I read. It's okay to agree to disagree

[danmeibrainrot]

⚠️ Saezuru Chapter 66 spoilers ⚠️ (😭🥺😭♥️)

The opening pages are the conversation between Amou and Tsunakawa that was previewed officially.

Tsunakawa reminds Amou:

"You said that guy has nowhere to go back to, right?"

Amou apologizes.

Tsunakawa responds sarcastically:

 "Funny. Even the guy himself isn't apologizing."

Amou says he had hoped that during the past four years Doumeki would learn things like obligation and gratitude.

Tsunakawa replies:

 "Maybe he'll understand from here on."

Then Tsunakawa says:

 "Not that I'm bragging, but I've never devoted myself to another person. I can't understand it, and I don't want to."

Amou answers:

 "That probably has something to do with your upbringing."

Tsunakawa:

"But you understand it, don't you? That's why you brought him here."

A flashback panel shows a young Amou looking slightly embarrassed while Misumi rests a hand on his head.

Amou reveals that bringing Doumeki to Tsunakawa was a personal favor he asked of him, and Tsunakawa only accepted it because they were old acquaintances.

As Amou leaves, he tells Tsunakawa:

 "You can count it as a debt I owe you."

But once in the car he thinks:

 "He's absolutely going to make me pay him back later."

Then they arrive at their destination.

---

Yashiro and Nanahara

Back at the office.

Yashiro returns visibly irritated.

Nanahara approaches him.

While covering part of his face with one hand, Yashiro complains that they still haven't found Kai's hideout.

Nanahara asks:

"Were you maybe going to see Doumeki?"

Yashiro immediately shoots him a sharp look, throws an ashtray at his head, and snaps:

"Don't stick your nose into this."

Nanahara pushes back.

He says:

Ever since Doumeki appeared, Yashiro has been acting strange.

Maybe Doumeki said something to him.

He's not stupid; he can put things together.

He was the last person who spoke to Doumeki four years ago.

Then Nanahara reveals:

"Back then, he said that if he wasn't in this world anymore, he'd no longer have any connection to you."

At first Nanahara thought Doumeki had simply changed after joining the Sakura family.

But now he realizes:

"That wasn't it. It was because of that, wasn't it?"

Yashiro tries to brush it off:

"Who knows? It has nothing to do with me."

Nanahara continues:

"Then why are you so miserable?"

Yashiro:

"I'm just tired. What, are you trying to tell me what to do now?"

Nanahara says he isn't.

He only thinks that maybe Doumeki no longer has anywhere he belongs.

Maybe someone should help him.

Yashiro cuts him off:

"Nobody can help him."

Then Yashiro says:

"Ignoring Tsunakawa's pride, pretending I forgot him, throwing him away just so he could stay in the same world as me... how is that any different from obsession?"

At that moment,

Amou appears.

---

Amou and Yashiro

The two talk at a café.

The dialogue isn't shown, but Amou apparently explains how Doumeki came to be under Tsunakawa's care.

Yashiro says he understands now, though he's genuinely surprised.

Then he asks Amou:

"Why did you go so far as to help Doumeki behind Misumi's back?"

Amou begins talking about his relationship with Misumi.

He explains:

Misumi married Amou's mother.

They were never legally adopted.

Misumi offered to pay his living expenses and tuition, but Amou refused and graduated university through his own efforts.

It was at university that he met Tsunakawa.

Amou says he always admired Misumi.

Even though he understood why Misumi never adopted him, he still wanted to become family.

He wanted to exist in the same world as him.

So instead of becoming a yakuza, he became Misumi's secretary. (After Misumi finally gave in.)

Amou says:

"I wanted to be someone like a son to him... the way you are."

Yashiro immediately replies:

"People don't sleep with their sons."

Then Amou asks the crucial question:

"Four years ago, when you abandoned Doumeki... was it for his sake? Or for your own?"

Yashiro freezes in shock.

Seeing his reaction, Amou stands up and leaves.

Beside Yashiro's seat, rain has begun to strike the window.

---

Yashiro gets a phone call.

Someone asks:

"Where are you right now?"

Heavy rain is falling.

Yashiro walks through it without an umbrella.

A car suddenly stops beside him.

Then, 

"Don't move. Do you know how long I've been looking for you?"

It's Kamiya.

Kamiya says:

"I don't understand what's so great about you."

"That stubborn bastard is completely wrapped around your finger. Either you're incredible in bed, or you're unbelievably compatible."

"Either way, only a weirdo would go this far."

Yashiro keeps walking.

Kamiya continues:

"You must really be worth enough to throw a man's whole life into chaos."

Still no reaction.

Finally Kamiya clicks his tongue.

"Say something, damn it. You're disgusting."

Then he throws a hotel key at Yashiro's back.

Yashiro stops and glances over his shoulder.

Kamiya says:

"'His reason for living'... that's what you are."

"Aren't you embarrassed?"

Then:

"The night after tomorrow, Kai gets killed. After serving prison time for it, he'll be expelled from the organization."

"If he only comes to his senses when he's an old man, he'll be completely screwed."

Then Kamiya drives away.

Yashiro stands there.

The hotel key lies on the wet ground.

He closes his eyes and looks up at the rainy sky.

---

The Hotel

The scene shifts.

Doumeki is in the hotel room handling his gun.

The doorbell rings.

He opens the door.

Standing there is Yashiro, soaked by the rain.

Doumeki is stunned.

Without saying a word, Yashiro places a hand against his face and leans in himself.

Then... 

He kisses him (❗❗❗❗❗) 

Doumeki's eyes remain open in shock.

Yashiro closes his eyes and kisses him desperately, completely absorbed in it.

They move inside the room.

Their lips part once.

They stare at each other.

Then, 

Doumeki firmly wraps his arms around Yashiro.

Yashiro loops both arms around Doumeki's neck.

And they kiss again.

--------------------------------------

The SCREAM I let out OMFG I'M SHAKING I need time to gather my thoughts but I'M SO HAPPY 😭😭😭♥️♥️♥️♥️🎉🎉

[kayura452]

Saezuru Ch. 65 - Summary (with pictures!)

Flee now if you don't want to know what happens!!! Everyone else, below the cut. (Get it? CUT!!! HAHA... MURDER IS OKAY!)

BRING FORTH THE PAIN!!!

As was noted in other sneaks, we pick up with Yashiro being very upset with Doumeki. Holding his head, kicking over the bowl of water he used to nurse Doumeki back to health. He doesn't look up from this position, he just says, "You've got to be kidding me." (alternative translations were "You're really stupid." (Talking about Doumeki... or himself?? HAHA!)

We are back in bookmark mode! Lots of long shots. Doumeki arrives confidently at Tsunakawa's. Just as an aside, I love Tsunakawa's house. The garden, the traditional Japanese style. Love it!

Tsunakawa asks Doumeki if he's going to get on his knees and beg like he did 4 years ago. Doumeki says, "I won't."

So Tsunakawa's guys help him.

Tsunakawa is pissed because Doumeki should be hanging his head in shame.

Tsunakawa says maybe you're glad this happened.

A cute pic of Kamiya because we don't see those much. Cue the Doumeki beating montage...

Tsunakawa says "I'm surprised you came back here." Doumeki says he's grateful to them for taking him in back then. Tsunakawa says, "You only came here because Yashiro didn't want you."

Tsunakawa says Yakuza are people who can't live a decent life. But he looked into Doumeki's life. Doumeki was a cop, who has a cute little sister and a mother, and went to jail for assault after protecting his little sister. Even so, a person with a family could still live a normal life.

Tsunakawa: "What does the Yakuza mean to you?"

Doumeki: "It's... a place to live."

Tsunakawa: "What does Yashiro mean to you?"

Doumeki: "He's the reason I live."

Tsunakawa: "Can't you at least hesitate a little?"

Tsunakawa looks so heartbroken here. Doumeki really did the only thing he could to break his heart.

Doumeki says, that Yashiro is precious to him. That pisses off Tsunakawa more. Is he mad that he wasn't the one. (Seriously... but in a Yakuza way.)

Doumeki receives his orders. "Kill Kai. Because you're a felon, there's no telling how long you'll be eating prison food, so get your affairs in order." Really brokenhearted.

Then he's told by Miraji that when he is released from prison, he'll be excommunicated. This is the only time Doumeki seems at a loss for words.

Because how does he stay by Yashiro if he can't be in the Yakuza?

Kamiya is told to make sure Doumeki kills Kai.

Kamiya takes Doumeki to a hotel room. Doumeki puts ice on his face and Kamiya tells him he'll use this gun and it's loaded.

He thanks Kamiya for all his help. Kamiya tells him that he can thank him but can't apologize to Tsunakawa?

Doumeki said he won't apologize, and he thinks that Tsunakawa wouldn't be satisfied with just an apology anyway.

Kamiya is mad because Doumeki betrayed the family, fell in love with a man, and put him in the middle of his crap. Doumeki says he doesn't see the gender of the person you love being an issue. You tell him, Doumeki!!!

At this moment, Kamiya opens up to Doumeki about his own little sister, whom he couldn't protect because he was just a kid too. Doumeki says that it's unusual for Kamiya to open up like that.

Kamiya says that when he was young (before he even had pubic hair), he stabbed his abusive parents in the stomach. (Under-aged violence is handled differently in Japan, as is murder.) He says he was just a dumb kid, because if he was going to stab someone anyway, he should have done it before his sister died. (I'm only guessing here, so reserve judgment until we have a translation, but OMG, did they abuse her until she died? Or is he saying he would have killed her before they did to save her from the abuse? Or perhaps that if he'd stabbed the parents while she was alive, she would have gotten better too.) It also looks like they lived in squalor.

Kamiya laughs and says, 'Yeah, it's not at all like me to share."

This chapter had so many levels of sadness, defeat, rejection, confession. Brazen boldness from our big baby bird. I really hope to see Yashiro meet with Tsunakawa again, this time for property rights!!!

Kamiya has reached Kuga status. I am so glad we got to know this about him. Now I hope that doesn't mean he's going to die now. Because he opened up.

Are Hirata, Aoi, Yashiro, and Doumeki the only people in the world who didn't deal with their trauma? It's worth noting that Yashiro managed to get yet another Yakuza fired from his job because he was in love with him. It's a record when you do it to the one you actually like.

It's Yashiro's game now. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I have entertained the end of this story with Yashiro and Doumeki ending up in jail together. They'll go to the same jail as Ryuuzaki on the day Ryuuzaki is released. LOL!

That's it! Chapter 66 will be out on May 29. It's gonna be a cruel Summer!

[danmeibrainrot]

⚠️Saezuru Chapter 65 Spoilers⚠️

Starts with the page of Yashiro in the official preview of him reminiscing about Doumeki's words

Then, while covering his face with one hand, he kicks over the container (bucket) filled with water.

Leaning against the wall, he says: “…You’re way too stupid…!"

---

Scene changes to Tsunakawas place

Doumeki speaks to Tsunakawa

Tsunakawa: “Not going to kneel and apologize like you did four years ago?”

Doumeki: “…I won’t.”

His subordinates force his head down,

Tsunakawa kicks him in the face, and mentions that he knows Doumeki used to stay with Yashiro.

Tsunakawa: “You’ve got guts, showing up here.”

Doumeki: “I’m grateful for being taken in…”

Tsunakawa: “That’s all you’re grateful for?”

Doumeki’s face is pressed into the ground

Tsunakawa begins talking about Doumeki’s past, that he was a former police officer, that he has a younger sister and mother, and that even after prison he could’ve lived as a civilian.

Then he asks: “Why did you become yakuza…?”

This leads to the previewed panel of Doumeki released by the official account

Then, 

Tsunakawa: “What is Yashiro to you?”

Doumeki: “He’s my reason for living.”

Doumeki: “Because he’s someone precious to me, I protected him.” 

Tsunakawa tells him, “Couldn’t you at least hesitate a little?” 

and Ren and the other subordinates beat him badly. (😭😭) 

Tsunakawa: “Go take Kai’s life. Get your affairs in order. You’re a criminal killing another, no telling how many years you’ll eat prison food. And the moment you’re released back into society, you’ll be expelled from the family."

Kamiya is assigned as the witness to oversee it.

---

Scene changes to a hotel room somewhere

Kamiya hands Doumeki a gun

Doumeki thanks him for everything he’s done.

Kamiya: “You can’t say thank you, but you won’t apologize either? Idiot.”

Doumeki: “I won’t apologize for something I don’t truly mean.”

Doumeki says Tsunakawa isn’t the kind of person who wants apologies.

Kamiya responds that he actually valued Doumeki.

Kamiya: “You betrayed us and fell in love with a man, yeah, that’s not something we can accept.”

Doumeki: “I don’t think gender matters when it comes to someone important.”

Kamiya: “You sound annoyingly righteous.

Not like you ever expected to be understood anyway.

If that’s the case, at least don’t drag others into it.”

Doumeki: “…You’re right. That’s true.”

Then Kamiya brings up Doumeki’s younger sister.

Kamiya also had a younger sister, and says he regrets not being able to protect her (from abusive parents).

Kamiya: “Having parents and siblings…must be nice.”

Doumeki: “…That’s not like you, talking about yourself.”

_______________________

Doumeki being beat up is so painful 😭 I knew this would be coming but 😭😭

Also, him being assigned to kill Kai and go to jail 😱😱 though ofc the plot won't be as simple. 

Kamiya had said he wanted to do something big in a previous chapter and here, at the end of this chapter he's suddenly talking about personal things which seems to be out of character as Doumeki says...

Lots of what ifs right there even without including Misumi's assignment for Yashiro involving Kai and Yashiros potential actions after Doumekis words last chapter. 

My heart will remain in my mouth till the next chapter on May 29 😭😭💀

[kayura452]

Boy was Tsunakawa lenient! I’m glad the chapter stopped before Doumeki does something he’ll never be able to come back from. Yashiro needs to move fast!😬

Mine just shipped. I’ll have by Wednesday -ish.

[all-skedaddle-and-no-bop]

wait i forgot

[kayura452]

Saezuru Ch. 64 Summary w/Pictures!

Emotional turmoil ahead... Proceed with caution!

Below the cut for those of you who can't wait... Please don't break the internet....

As usual, nothing about the cover equals what is in the chapter. We are close... SO CLOSE! But not yet...

As we saw, Doumeki tries to stand at Yashiro's request and is so dizzy Yashiro gets concerned and helps him to his bed.

Doumeki grabs Yashiro's hand and asks him not to leave, and then faints.

Yashiro being the good nurse he is, stays and nurses Doumeki while he sleeps.

Doumeki wakes up, feeling better, and finds Yashiro asleep by the bed.

This sight is a surprise to Doumeki and like always, a tender moment is interrupted.

Tsunakawa calls and tells Doumeki to come see him, and Yashiro wakes up.

Seeing Doumeki's distress, he asks if Tsunakawa called, then apologizes for falling asleep because Doumeki wouldn't let go of his hand and he felt compelled to take care of him. (Sure....)

Doumeki asks why Yashiro came there before (when Kamiya and mama were there). Yashiro pretends he can't remember why, and asks Doumeki if letting mama leave was good idea. Doumeki asks Yashiro if he ever said they were dating.

Doumeki explains that she was a childhood friend and that's all. He says that he was a "tattoo practice table" HAHAHAH!

Yashiro tries to avoid confrontation by saying that he doesn't care who Doumeki sees and he can have sex with anyone.

Doumeki raises his voice and tells Yashiro that even now he's still chasing him and asks if Yashiro is behaving this way because he's "running away." He asks him if it's better if Yashiro hears it from Doumeki's own mouth that he still thinks of him.

Doumeki tells him "Do you really think I'll fall in love with someone other than you?"

Pretty sure we all feel this scene. Doumeki tells Yashiro everything and we see a series of flashbacks of when he came to work for Tsunakawa and when he eventually ran into Yashiro again. He tells him he was jealous and stupid. He wanted to avoid Yashiro until he could stand shoulder to shoulder with him as equals. But he couldn't help it once he'd seen him.

Doumeki touches Yashiro's face and asks if he can see. He asks if it's his fault that this happened 4 years ago.

This exchange needs a real translator to word it right, but it appears that Yashiro tells him that it's not his fault and that Doumeki always blaming himself is too much for Yashiro. (I might be off the mark. He says he's being too self-conscious about it, but I get the feeling that this is the part that Yashiro always "hated" about Doumeki. The part of him that makes him want to "destroy" him.) Doumeki says "To me you are a kind, strong and beautiful person."

Yashiro is annoyed now and doesn't want to listen to this anymore.

Yashiro asks why he is telling him this now, after hiding it for so long. Why tell him now?

Doumeki doesn't answer.

And now it's time to stand on business. Come on, Yashiro!!!! CHASE HIM!!!

That's 64. (SOBBBBBBBBBING!!!!!!!!!!)

Boy oh boy was that DARK! Yes, confessions. Yashiro got all of it at once! But OMG, I don't know what Doumeki is thinking because the face he leaves with is determined!!!

Maybe I wasn't ready after all!!!

Chapter 65 will be out on March 31st!!!

[danmeibrainrot]

⚠️Saezuru chapter 64 spoilers⚠️

After the page from the second preview where doumeki collapses while trying to stand up

• Doumeki: "…S-sorry…"

• Yashiro: "It's fine. Don’t talk."

• Saying that, Yashiro puts Doumeki's arm around his shoulder and carries him to the bed

• Doumeki grabs Yashiro’s arm and says, "Don't go…" and then loses consciousness

• Yashiro prepares a towel for Doumeki's forehead and some water, and stays to nurse him

_____________

• Doumeki wakes up

• When he sits up, he sees Yashiro sleeping while seated against the wall

• Doumeki moves closer, notices the bucket of water nearby, and understands what happened.

• As he looks at Yashiro’s sleeping face, he recalls Kageyama's words and reaches out-

• but just then, his phone rings.

• The ringtone wakes Yashiro.

• Tsunakawa: "It's me."

• Doumeki: "…Yes."

• Tsunakawa: "Come to the main house. Now."

• Doumeki: "Understood."

• Yashiro looks up at Doumeki, who has lowered his gaze

• Yashiro asks if it was Tsunakawa calling

• Doumeki asks what Yashiro had originally come for

• Yashiro dodges the question

"What was it again?"

• He pretends he’s forgotten

• Yashiro then asks whether it was really okay to send the club mama who people think Doumeki is involved with home.

• Doumeki: "When did I ever say I was dating her?"

• Yashiro: "…You're not?"

• Doumeki’s wound starts to hurt, so he sits down and explains

 • The club mama is his childhood friend

• He was her tattoo practice model

• She was saving money at the club so she could become independent as a tattoo artist

• Yashiro: "I… see."

• Doumeki: "Would it have been more convenient if we were dating?"

• Yashiro: "…What do you mean by that?"

• Doumeki: "I wondered if that would make you feel more at ease."

• Yashiro: "At ease…? What are you talking about?"

• Doumeki: "Do you really not understand?"

• Yashiro: "It doesn’t matter to me either way. I don’t care who you’re dating as long as I can have sex, It doesn’t even have to be you"

• Doumeki: "I-"

(the scene shown in the first official preview.)

• Doumeki: "What if I told you that… I still have feelings for you?"

• Doumeki: "Do you want to know how I feel?"

"If I said I still love you, if you knew I’m still chasing after you"

• Doumeki: "Even so, do you still want to hear it from my own mouth?"

"Do you truly believe I could ever love anyone other than you?" (😭😭♥️) 

• They look at each other at the same eye level.

______________

Doumeki’s past (inner monologue)

"Because you were there, I chose to live in this world."

"It didn’t matter which organization it was."

"I didn’t care if people thought I was disloyal or a terrible person."

"I decided I just wanted to exist in the same world as you any way I could."

"I wanted to become a man who could stand beside you."

"I didn’t care how many years it took."

"But I met you sooner than I expected, and I became greedy. I got jealous."

"I thought I had let those feelings go-" "but I couldn’t go against my own heart."

_______________

Back to the present

• Doumeki reaches out and touches Yashiro’s right cheek

• Doumeki: "Can you not see?"

• Yashiro: "…Why?"

• Doumeki: "Is it a lingering effect from back then?"

• Yashiro: "It's nothing serious."

• Doumeki: "Is it because of me?"

• Yashiro: "No."

• Yashiro grabs Doumeki’s wrist.

• Doumeki: "Even if it isn't…"

• Yashiro: "You’re overthinking it."

• Doumeki: "…Even so, to me, you are kind, strong, and beautiful."

• Yashiro: "…I-"

• Yashiro: "All this time, you’ve been making me listen to this"

"what kind of feelings did you expect me to hear it with…?"

• Doumeki leans in and kisses him.

• They part.

• Yashiro opens his eyes, stunned

• Doumeki stands up

• Yashiro: "You… why… why say it now?"

 "You hid it all this time"

 "why now?"

• Doumeki looks down at him silently,

• He takes his jacket and leaves

• Doumeki’s face turns serious

• Yashiro stares at the door.

_________________________________

I'm so overwhelmed I have no idea what to say. 😭😭😭♥️♥️ But even with all this happiness I'm so scared for Doumeki with Tsunakawa summoning him. I hope he wasn't being so direct because of it. Please just let them be happy 🤞🤞😭😭

[kayura452]

Saezuru Ch. 63 Summary w/Pictures!

In case you don't want to be spoiled, but you are going crazy...

I offer you this stunning image of Yashiro as tribute.

Everyone else... below the cut please!

I won't go too heavy because the spoilers of what happened are already there. But I have said it so many times before, that the spoiler-folk always leave out important things that we of the fandom NEED to know.

Like, Yashiro has a hot bartender!

From the official teasers we have already learned that Yashiro is messed up by Doumeki's confusing display of affection.

Misumi comes to see Yashiro to talk about what happened. And to tell him to stay away from Doumeki. Yashiro says that Misumi didn't need to visit in person for that, if that's all he came for.

Misumi discusses how Okuyama is proving to be problematic, and if he joins the Kokusekai (I think that's the one; they all sound the same), then it will cause Misumi to lose face with his executive board. When Misumi talks about how Yashiro handled the Yamakawa issue and how he basically lied to Tsunakawa, Yashiro grins.

Yashiro is proud of himself.

Misumi can't be the one to handle the dirty stuff, so he wants Yashiro to do it. He asks Yashiro again if he still doesn't want his own group. Yashiro confirms that he doesn't, so Misumi gives him a side quest to find the gunman and bring him something to appease the executive board.

Yashiro is watching Misumi leave… and realizes that he is just a pet. This scene looks like a parallel to Chapter 1!! (Right before Doumeki saved the day.) Nanahara calls him to say that Kamiya came to the hospital with Doumeki, who has a high fever. When Yashiro asked if he was there with Kageyama, Nanahara replied that Kage got angry and yelled at Kamiya, saying he's not a Yakuza doctor and there are no beds available. So he sent Doumeki home.

Nanahara says he'll do some investigating about Kai and Yashiro says he'll poke around too.

Kamiya takes Doumeki home and is complaining about how heavy Doumeki is and that he should try to walk and help him out. LOL! He sees Izumi-mama standing at Doumeki's door because she heard about the shooting. Kamiya demands she help him with Doumeki. LOL!

They put Doumeki to bed and Kamiya is surprised when Izumi-mama says she hasn't been to Doumeki's apartment before, and he asks her why because aren't they dating?

This is rare sight to see. They start talking about what happened and how Doumeki screwed up by saving Yashiro instead of Tsunakawa.

Kamiya left Doumeki's door open and Yashiro overhears them talking.

Yashiro comes in and Kamiya says he's surprised to see someone like Yashiro at Doumeki's place and Yashiro says he heard from Nanahara that Doumeki had a fever.

Yashiro says he's sorry for intruding and he was going to go home. Kamiya says "Already? I thought you came to say thank you."

Izumi-mama is about to ask Yashiro to stay, but Doumeki wakes up at the sound of Yashiro's voice and bolts up out of bed so fast to stop Yashiro from leaving. Yashiro turns around and sees Doumeki's incredibly troubled face, and the look on Yashiro's face when Doumeki says, "Wait... please don't go home."

Doumeki sinks to the floor, very feverish but refuses to let go of Yashiro.

Izumi-mama collects Kamiya and tells him they are leaving. I love this page because I think Yashiro got what he needed to know about her. Her look and immediate actions say she's known all along, and she gracefully relinquishes Doumeki to Yashiro's care.

In the car, Izumi-mama tells Kamiya that she and Doumeki have never been a thing, and that she always thought there was someone else. But they chose to not tell the truth about their relationship because it was more convenient that way. She doesn't tell Kamiya that she was Doumeki's tattoo artist, we only see her in action. But she decides she's going to close the cabaret club and do something else... I'm thinking... tattoo artist? I wonder if she does pearlings, because Ryuuzaki will be needing some new ones when he gets out of prison and they might make a cute couple.

She is all of us.

Yoneda Kou is slated for the next issue out January 30th, which is YASHIRO'S BIRTHDAY!!!! I hope he gets a lovely chapter with some lovely confessions of love!

[paroleswerespoken]

Fandoms are scary

im not an avid reader of this webtoon I mostly know what’s going on because I get a lot of videos on my fyp. I did not notice this type of toxicity when this webtoon started but now there’s a whole uproar on the internet and people are going as far as to make threats to the author yikes… All of this because women(majority) are defending two male leads?? Not only that but not respecting the authors freedom to write their story whoever they want. I’ve encountered so many webtoons that I’ve found hard to swallow mostly bl’s and I’ve just stopped reading it I’m not sure why people feel the need to go this bad for a fictional story. It’s really fascinating, when it comes to fandoms or picking sides people show their dark day some would say passionate but it’s really scary how far people would go. I personally don't like love triangles that’s why I’ve held on to reading this one in its entirety not just bits and pieces here and there and I’ll definitely wait until the end and until a everyone calms down a little. Read what you enjoy know what you like, if don’t enjoy something then stop reading and that’s how you stop your support to the author. I hope the aspiring authors out there don’t feel discourage and always write what they want and stay true to their story and their craft.

[paroleswerespoken]

volume 8

Does anyone know if volume 8 will ever be release in English? It has been released in a few languages but not in English yet :( it feels like forever since I last bought my copy for Volume 7.

[paroleswerespoken]

tears on a withered flower rant

I had to do a little mid night rant, since this is one of my favorites webtoons at the moment. First I want to start by saying that I respect whatever opinion someone else might have on this story since not everyone is going to see things from the same perspective. With that being said, I do get kind of annoyed by people who want to put Mincheol on a pedestal ever since the author gave a little but of context of how his and HaeSoo’s relationship was the at beginning of their relationship. I see a lot of people stating past Mincheol is better than Taeha when there’s not really a to compare the two. First I get that Mincheol at the start tried to woo HaeSoo and as it always work at the beginning everything feels swoon worthy, also we have only seen this moments from HaeSoo’s pov and forgetting the situation she was in she took every sign of kindness as something big. Mincheol (although there’s not an official translation) has stated in the past that HaeSoo was a little bit more of work when it came to winning her over compared to Ari and it was some sort of game and has referred to both women in a very respective weight. He referred to Haesoo as a lifeless flower who has lost her light and often treated her as an object. Very often torturing her and reminding her that she is no longer a valuable woman since she can’t conceive a child, speaking as if only his dreams and aspirations were tarnished. So, someone who was your husband for years almost mocks you for something you had no control over instead of giving you support as their partner? Not only that but making you workday and night while they waited for a respectable job sitting at home? The same home you cleaned and kept afloat while getting sick, the same home he couldn’t respect and took another woman to? It truly baffles me how people idolize the two good things he did for you but forget that HaeSoo also built their life together an at the end of the day she sacrificed more than he did. She lost her sparkle and herself esteemed, not only that, but the hope to have a husband, a family and her best years. To me if you put everything on a balance the bad outweighs the good. He would have been someone not worth remembering to me, but I get the significance he had in her life. Still, I get a bit annoyed that people try to idolize Mincheol and try to demonize Taeha. Of course he has done questionable things, but if it wasn’t for him Mincheol would still be abusing Haesoo and breaking her psyche. Taeha has also respected boundaries, he understood that she wouldn’t forget her ex-husband just like that and reassured her that it was okay for her feelings to still be there for him. He watched her from afar even when he wanted to hold her, he has not pressured her to move even knowing Mincheol can still go and find her. You can say his whole tactic to have her find out MC was cheating was calculated and sinister but was she really going to find out if it wasn’t for that? Taeha might not be perfect as a character but what is there that he has done to damage HaeSoo? Anyways. This midnight rant might be deleted so yeah lol

[paroleswerespoken]

if the look of love was an image it would be this.

this panel makes my heart flutter.

[paroleswerespoken]

should I remain hopeful?

I’ll give it the meaning I want, because I’m delusional hehe 😬🥹

[paroleswerespoken]

Parallels

These two episodes have so much correlation to each other.

Yashiro is wearing his emotions on his sleeve and Doumeki has a moment of realization on both.

Yashiro back in chapter 23 was just coming to terms that he might actually care more about Doumeki that he had realized. Maybe that was the first first time he was visibly vulnerable. While Doumeki was stunned with the fact that he actually meant something to Yashiro.

On chapter 51 we come to a full 360 circle. Everything that had been building up finally came to another burst of emotions for both of them. Yashiro let Doumeki go for a reason just to realize that his sacrifice was in vain, Douemki became everything that he didn’t want him to. There might be a sense of guilt as well, he more than anyone knows how hard it is to escape that world but now Doumeki has marked himself.

After everything Doumeki’s anger subside because he once again confirms that Yashiro still cares about him, he has feelings for him and he knew deep down that him becoming a full fledge Yakuza will affect Yashiro. And yet again he tenderly yet passionately consoles and embraces him.

There so much passion and feelings in those two chapters that it compensates the lack of romance because their connection goes beyond that. They are both broken in some of way yet they were able to form this connection between them that even if they are not together they will still always be each other’s truest love at least that’s what I believe. 

[paroleswerespoken]

Chapter 52

Reading this was so bittersweet because I was excited to see a more intense intimacy between them but it felt kind of shallow… compared to their first time when they were both overflowing with emotions, Yashiro was discovering himself in a way and overwhelmed with new emotions while Doumeki finally saw a little bit of hope and showered Yashiro with love and tenderness. I think Yashiro felt it too though he was definitely more in it than in the past. Anyways, there’s a bit of bittersweet feelings in my poor heart. I thought this was very Doumeki like, hanging Yashiro’s clothes is a pattern lol

[tteringvic]

Thoughts on CH.51

There's something so beautiful yet so heartbreaking about their kiss. Yashiro is a 40 years old man and it feels like he's really kissing someone for the very first time. And yes, I know Doumeki kissed him multiple times when they made love, but honestly, it's so different this time.

Yashiro is no longer scared as he was before. He is not reluctant. He doesn't seem to be in pain or even struggling. Yashiro is fully corresponding, with all his heart. Just look at his expression when he opens his eyes. His eyebrows, his hand on Doumeki's neck. The way he hugged and grabbed Doumeki while sitting in his lap (just imagine how much he missed Doumeki's lap).

Yashiro's feelings are screaming through all these little things. He look like a teenager falling in love for the first time - and finally being corresponded.

It's just so sad that it took so long.

[paroleswerespoken]

Stab in the heart: Doumekis tattoo

Stab in the heart: Doumekis tattoo  

Perhaps Doumeki becoming a full fledge Yakuza it’s his so-called revenge against Yashiro. As to say, “here, you pushed me away for this reason so I will become what you were so afraid of.” I see it as an act of rebellion coming from a place of hurt and anger. I can’t deny it really made me sad when it was revealed that Doumeki had a tattoo, he really went out his way to become a Yakuza in every sense of the word. I can see how that was a slap in the face for Yashiro, Yashiro has expressed on a lot of occasions that he himself wishes to leave that world though it is not easy. Very often he expressed how he was kind of forced into that world and how he felt it was his only choice at a certain time in his life. Now, the person he has come to love is part of that very world he is trying his hardest to escape. So, what now? Even if he leaves, and Doumeki stays, he will still be tied down to that world.  

Though for Doumeki becoming a yakuza might have a different meaning for him, he wasn’t forced, he chose to be part of it out of his own volition. Even if Yashiro might have been one of his reasons it wasn’t the only one.  

Doumeki was Yashiro’s underling after all, Yashiro thought of him as someone who had lost his way like a “baby bird” in his own words, a bird who would latch onto the first thing he saw. He thought that if he redirected Doumeki onto another path by kicking him out he would go back to his “normal life.”  Doumeki had also gone through trauma, everything he knew turned out to be a horrific lie, and he didn’t want to be a part of that anymore. Even so I don’t think Doumeki has lost any of his values, even while being a part of the yakuza. More so I feel like Douemki feels a sense of belonging like he has a purpose. But Yashiro might not see it that way at the end of the day he feels a sense of responsibility in a way. Another thing to point out is how Doumeki’s rooms always look the same I'm trying to wonder if it has any meaning to it.  

Either way this chapter was so heart wrenching and hopeful at the same time. Even without words they said so much with each other's actions and this is one of the things I love the most about them.

[paroleswerespoken]

Newly weds

These side stories are giving so much butterflies, it’s everything that was missed from the main story(romance wise.) Overall I recommend this story if anyone has time and is looking for a good story to read.