Finally, going through these digital notes. THE PASSION is to get through yes, what I accept as chronic pain that affects traumatic brain injury symptoms (cognition, working memory, communication, transitions)
cc stands for closure cunt. For the fact they may want to talk to you, saying, for closure, to apologize, but these people are very good talkers. I remember listening to them tell stories & they're very good at it. It's a skill. They want the spotlight. They like to see you squirm, get emotional, pulling things out of you they get to relive, too. They enjoy it. Sensationalism. Brutalism. Avoid them. Just know there are lines people cross & they can never be in your life again once crossed because it will 100% of the time happen again.
At the same time.
To end this. The behaviors to avoid are...Change narrative. Actually can lie to self. Will lie to you in a way that's extremely convincing. Are never apologetic & extremely reactive, but shows moments of calm as well.
Once you get it out in any number of ways, if you have an internal monologue going, I'd suggest you use that to gauge if it's still affecting life. If you use therapy, exercise, friend and happy with having those in your arsenal then acknowledge you may not have that internal monologue. Continue doing what you're doing.
TACTILE | Last connection to artists done in term of advocacy. We appreciate the process and WHO has produced the ART & their story, history, philosophies, influences & inspirations. HANDWRITTEN LABELS. To start planting seed for handwritten wedding invites... small family wedding was the request. Since there's embarrassment that there's no friends.
The speech that got that YES. Using the death of...
AUDITORY with VISUAL & CREATING TIMESTAMP | in order to record when I've begun to write about chronic pain & traumatic brain injury. Ptsd has been 100% contained on 03/11/2026 with the creation of INTAKE FORM for Sensory Overload & listening to audio notes whilst ptsd-ing. Meaning to get grounded when can't move, talk & "fight" (pen mightier than the sword) not "freeze."
TACTILE PIECE
A/V PIECE
CLEANING PIECE
COOKING PIECE
At a time, all visual & some audio would instantly snap me back to these memories, but they aren't mine since I wasn't born yet. It was the discussion of those who would recommend & say why. Been watching TV for a long time now. Prolonged sitting. Audio with reading (no more close captioning). No more shock & awe when what I'm watching/hearing connects to the past. NOTE : mm/mm is "pop" (PT) culture.
NOT LOSING what I consider being Italian is. Very comfortable in your own skin. How I did not lose it is all about the word RESPECT.
FAMILY PIECE
Documenting my notes verbally until I can get back to writing/reading/use of notebooks & working every day on a recovery of distracting,
This is where you'll catch all the thoughts, begin some.
Open your heart, no legs, brassiere, pieces unfurling.
Where do you get off telling me art can't be someone hurling.
What's real is non-consent & what it creates in you.
Women share it best, men, getting better at it, genuine & true.
Not the black & blue. Bruise Hue, biggest clue, the trigger was & always would've been Neptune. Since the best stuff hurts so prepare for it. You will lose the one's you love.
So what if I zip off to space
It's a better place
Ya'll can't erase
What ya did.
Now it's done.
Gotta go up & become someone.
Just wrote the poems to remember the next step.
It's truly genius when you know how you learn best--helping others.
this was when it was MOST DARKNESS (check out the song) & it contained #suicide? No way. How is this possible? Admitting that I couldn't read, that an app helped & it has put away video already so I know longer have to do any of that because I just have to be ____ to someone.
Every place there was to write in, make an account (practice email/name & phone number/numbers) I did. This was because the fear was losing self due to #seehashtags...
Today is September...canât wait to do this kind of thing since Iâve been tested for âmemoryâ in a way that as a previous special educator, tells me, they have NO IDEA. Due to performance assessments which I have to create for [up to 5%] of a schoolâs population that do NOT have to take standardized testing & potentially lower test scores & thus funding I know ONE MUST ASSESS the following : how well did the student do on tasks/skills practiced in the special ed classroom? Did they do BETTER or WORSE than what was expected. My passion Never to cash in & the words âI donât want to be loved for my moneyâ on date 1 Why we split the check & thus, it begun. Began. A scam. What âsomeâ men do to women & itâs acceptable in society, but letâs zoom out, since Iâm dropping the seeds for video cam. Finally. How long did it take, Jamie? Donât know. Donât care. Just know thereâs not enough resources, daily discussion & evidence to suggest, weâre doing EVERYTHING* we should--all designed by the marketing around me--saying, âIâm good.â Are we? *take their words back & really emphasize a definition that is way more productive than that.
These online spaces are absolutely places to come find me & create PROLONGED EXPOSURE THERAPY authentically as I restructure LIVE. Iâm looking for the right people as I tackle rape culture & other âheavyâ topics that I confronted as a public school teacher because I like CRIME PREVENTION & doing everything I can to support the WORDS WE USE/TELL KIDS about being a productive member of society by identifying as a citizen as well using independent functioning skills (being able to take care of oneself & never depend on others) to unlock every potential in every child I came across teaching special education...
I donât understand tech too much except that itâs a space to write in & have WORDS HIT ME after physical, sexual, mental/psychological abuses which is the DENIAL of TRUTH in healthcare, education, housing & employment that gives âpowerâ to those who literally think & act like they âcan do whatever they want.â A world where your behaviors donât matter & you can predict the behavior of others IF YOUâRE ABLE TO TRIGGER THEM is not a world Iâm down with. Instead, Iâm going to elevate all the things have helped me recover as well as share how the ONE PERSON who knew about pervious sexual assaults used this âknowledgeâ to create a false narrative that I now feel should be corrected so I can stay authentic to a process youâre a part of.Â
Writing day & night since the purpose is to NEVER feel worthless, but also share what stopped PTSD from ever taking hold when it absolutely shouldâve. Iâm going to do my best & I think itâs easiest now since I do have the prerequisite skills : FACE, BODY, VOICE, NAME, IDENTY & CONSENT (meaning Iâll practice it always whether you do or not) : to speak as a survivor/victim for the first time publicly. Iâve been using my voice for a long time, put away in a classroom, motivated to do âthe right thingâ since that was the messaging in my HOME, SCHOOL, CHURCH & later WORK when the reality doesnât quite match the behind-the-scenes.
Please ask any Qs about this & hoping all dimensions are open since Iâm going to look back, now ahead of chronic vertigo, chronic pain, speech issues/AOX/inverse disorder (diagnosed 2015) & try to show how IF IN A SAFE PLACE (create that safe environment & a first rule of teaching), recovery is possible. The focus of my then husband was the environment since heâs into UX as his way of explaining mental health anxiety/sobriety & Iâm certain heâs finally changed in the way he always wanted to, but just know, he is the catalyst for everything created because he explained it. Then I watched it. And finally, the flip--as if I wasnât going to remember it?
People blOWing up the world with their hatred, ignorance & base desires/emotions like #jealousy #insecurity & desire to gossip be bugging đ me so [rap] battle that to đ THEIR NOISE.
Writing PART I of a fairly long epic but only because everything is IN. Iâm gonna shoâ ya how to end trauma. Or drama rama from an an an anxious mama. LAStIME : bye : đ
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