bad energy depository

dispatches from rat park theo | thirty-one unreliable tagging: caveat emptor

[paulfrankjuliusthemonkey]

What does it mean to value myself? 2021 by Yumi Sakugawa

[past-pariah]

[pearl jam voice] OHHHHH IIIIIIIYUUUHHH I’M STILL ALIIIIIVE HEYEYEEE IIIIIIIYUUHHH-

i have 13 months of sobriety as of august 13th

*air horns*

i love and miss y’all

i often feel like outwardly, my life looks messier and more chaotic in sobriety but it’s scary easy to forget how much more f’d everything was internally before getting sober, while putting on positive external appearances. while i feel that i’m not doing as well remaining in touch with people in sobriety (which has its own dangers, and i’m still trying to learn balance), at least my chances of reconciling that are better now, than my chances of permanently destroying things back when i was still drinking & using.

that said, change necessarily involves destruction. and it’s with humorous annoyance that i have to agree i can’t hold on to my old ideas in any measure. when metaphorically stepping back, it’s absurd seeing myself trying to hold back the river of God’s will. the metaphor feels all but real - i put in maximum effort to delay the inevitable flood, all while eroding and damaging myself, only to be swept along anyway - over rapids of my own making, before spilling out into a placidly flowing stream that i was too egotistical to admit that i was terrified of entering.

anyway, when i put all my effort into doing things i know go against my sense of self, i do them crappily, and i am left without any energy or ability to do the things i know i need and/or want to do

i got really good at ripping off metaphorical bandaids in the first few months of sobriety, and lately i’ve taken to winding them tighter. time to get rippin’ again.

[kicksagain-deactivated20251229]

it's not about trans men and non binary people though it's about trans women. trans WOMEN are being singled out it's not about trans men or nb people why do you people always have to make shit about yourselves you sound like an all lives matter activist

[dorothylarouge]

State sanctioned sexual assault

[expressions-of-nature]

by Abel Cancino Gutierrez

[sayruq]

Donate to Hot meals 4 Starved Palestinian Kids in north Gaza, organized by Hani Almadhoun

Do you know what it’s like to watch your family starve? I do. My… Hani Almadhoun needs your support for Hot meals 4 Starved Palestinian

Donate!!!!!! Boost!!!!!

[our-queer-experience]

other things that have been censored on the cdc website by the trump administration are included but not limited to:

guidelines for prep

guide to taking patient sexual history

sti treatment guidelines

the CDC Youth Risk Behavior Survey Data Summary & Trends Report

a health education analysis tool

reports on queer youth

reports on substance abuse

a 2025 report on health equity for intersex people

intimate partner violence prevention resources

sexual violence violence prevention resources

a cdc national partner violence survey

again, all of those things are being archived here. you can read them and share them. in fact we should talk about them even more than we wouldve before- make this counterproductive for them

[kitcactusart]

Feel free to print and distribute this image

[assaultmystic-archive]

if it helps nothing is permitted. you arent allowed to do anything. everything you do will always be able to be interpreted as, and therefore is, wrong. youre going to hurt people. you are going to manipulate people. youre going to fuck up. so what rules do you want to break? how do you want to be wrong? what kind of harm are you okay with doing to a person? what kind of manipulation is true to you? what kind of fuck up do you want to be? how do you make peace with the violence implicit in living? start there.

[weltenwellen]

Maya C. Popa, from “Spring”, Wound Is the Origin of Wonder

[weltenwellen]

Mary Oliver, “Don’t Hesitate”, Devotions

[huariqueje]

Winter Spring Crocus - Phil

Canadian , b. ?

Illustration , Country Garden Magazine

[huariqueje]

Winter Feeding - Phil

Canadian , b. ?

Illustration , Angels on Earth Magazine

[shewhoworshipscarlin]

Hooked Rug, 1935-45, Canada.

[weltenwellen]

Peter Mishler, The Doubling of Self: An Interview with Richard Siken

[rockemsockemrocket]

Just your every four years reminder that now is not the time to run off and panic-found a new organization. I promise that whatever need you are now seeing for the first time, the need is not new and somebody has already been working on it. And if you can't figure out who's already working on it, you're probably not in the position to be working on it yourself. You don't have to found the trans underground railroad and if you're not already connected to the people doing that work then it shouldn't be you trying to found the trans underground railroad.

Yes, it's time to work, but we've all BEEN working. Don't Columbus movements just because you're freaked out about the news.

[ajloun]

ok last thing. but what people fundamentally need to get through their heads is the significance of gaza fundraisers not being the same as like mutual aid when you're helping someone get groceries, because it is a genocide. there is insane deliberate scarcity and prices are unmanageable, because there is nowhere nearly enough for everyone, so only people who can pay can eat. and what positioning individual fundraisers as the only course of action does is quite simply give a tiny percentage of random people whose fundraisers take off the ability to pay those prices while thousands of others can't. and every one of those thousands of people without a fundraiser is suffering through the same inconceivably horrific reality. it is giving a few completely desperate people out of hundreds of thousands a slightly more favorable position in a horrific war economy of imposed scarcity. and what grassroots community kitchens do is try to mitigate in some small way that inconceivable hierarchy of who can pay and who can't, by stretching ingredients as far as they can last to cook meals at large scale and give them out at no cost. and obviously people are still going to send money to their friends and families because this is hell what else are we supposed to do but please just think about that before promoting endless individual fundraisers as somehow the most ethical way to help

[akaratna]

Operation Olive Branch has a spreadsheet dedicated to mutual aid, local distro, community kitchens, etc. in Gaza.

Operation Olive Branch

This is a good place to start if seeking to donate to a community resilience action. Just contact the group(s) directly to make sure they are still active. Life in Gaza and Palestine is full of uncertainty.

[past-pariah]

reading a book that’s got me all kinds of fucked up [recovering from emotionally immature parents]. it was an unexpected experience to feel this violated because i’ve already been coming to terms with how my childhood was and i largely don’t hold any resentments toward them, so all my current fucked-up-ness about the book isn’t even about that. it’s that i DO recognize emotionally immature people pretty immediately, but apparently despite this i keep getting roped into their emotional takedowns anyway. it’s almost like i’ve been conditioned to do this for 30 years… trying to give myself grace but i feel really embarrassed. ‘they’re emotionally immature but hold a power imbalance so i’d better cater to them... this won’t cause me to lose touch with my own intuition at all.’ THEO, NO!! well, i keep growing and learning so now that i know, i can keep trying to put the knowledge to use.