i downloaded tumblr again just to say tht pierce the veil is very good
oke, goodnight

No title available
hello vonnie
dirt enthusiast
almost home

pixel skylines
No title available
Today's Document
NASA
trying on a metaphor

Love Begins

izzy's playlists!
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Jules of Nature

@theartofmadeline

No title available
Sade Olutola
KIROKAZE
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Xuebing Du

#extradirty
seen from Türkiye

seen from Türkiye
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States

seen from Germany
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Netherlands
seen from Japan

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from United States
@pastellnebula
i downloaded tumblr again just to say tht pierce the veil is very good
oke, goodnight
Graweedy Falls
literally have had this queued for a year
In honor of the holiday
Y’all gonna just forget Nichijoint like that?
This is the only obnoxious weed joke post I’ll post all 4/20 but some of these are legitimately funny
@runeofecstasy
I’m so happy right now
oh same
remember when hey soul sister was on the radio and life didn’t suck ass
yeah i honestly miss being 9 years old
should i text my crush?
a novel
is it weird to text someone two days in a row?
the thrilling sequel
i texted him and he hasnt texted back. did i mess up
the next installment in an amazing trilogy
should i text my crush?
a novel
is it weird to text someone two days in a row?
the thrilling sequel
should i text my crush?
a novel
hm
im love boiye??
there is boye I like and im want 2 hold his hand and hug him and uh im afraid 2 tell him that.
like, oh my gosh, i really want to. i really really want to tell him
but hes my friend, one of my few friends, and i just. i dont know if i want to risk losing our friendship for that.
ugghhhhh its so confusing and it sucks and idek how to go about trying to be closer friends with him hhhhhhhhhhhhh life sucks
Has this been done yet? I feel like it has but I’m doing this anyways
Don’t get mad this is a JOKE because I think I can be funny
hm
so
I am a system
currently jasper is uhhh resting in our headspace sooo
hi, I'm noctis. im a gay eventidal bxy.
i like the moon. a lot. also uhhh i kin Death the kid. also my fave color is lavender
yallever just listen to music you used to listen to a few years ago through crappy earbuds to get that nostalgia?
cause ive been doing that since last night and not only do I feel like, rlly nostalgic but i feel like im experiencing all of that again, like the stuff thats happened in the past couple years hasnt happened, and it makes me feel super safe. i like it.
so uh
ever since I broke up with my ex ive been reluctant to label myself as a demiboy
during our relationship, when i was feeling horrible abt my gender or related thing, my ex either just told me i was valid or used all my labels and it made me feel worse, like he was just reassuring my delusion.
protip: telling ur nonbinary boyfriend "but you really are a [their entire fucking identity using all their labels]", you're probably making them feel bad and you should check with them
after i broke up with him, I couldnt fucking think about using the word "demiboy" without hearing his voice in my head and it made me cringe. I felt scared.
he always made me feel insecure, unsafe, like i had to stick my arms to the sides of my stomach and make sure a wall was behind me. thinking about it, I still feel that
he will never understand that feeling
feeling like im not allowed to say no, that if i do, I'll be guilt tripped and blamed for something
feeling like i couldnt speak out against his actions towards other people and me, that id be an sjw if I did (hint: he implied that once when I said he shouldnt call black ppl at our school the n word, even if hes not saying to them. his excuse was "its a habit".)
feeling like if i focused on anything else but him, i was doing something wrong. once i went to town with my mom to watch a movie and go grocery shopping and i forgot to check my phone and i had at least 10 worried messages bc i hadnt texted him in 3 hours.
feeling like i made all this shit up even though i know i didnt. feeling like some of it happened but it actually wasnt as bad as I remember because he fucking gaslighted me
feeling unsafe at school and at home because he told his friends that Im trans without my knowledge and called me he/him and his bf at school, around people, so ill never know when my mom calling me into the living room or wanting to tell me something on the way to school is just about a funny video or something she read online she wants to show me or if its her confronting me about me being trans. I dont know if people at school know or not. im always fucking scared deep down.
he'll never fucking understand what he did to me and what he put me through.
last time he apologized he told me he still cared about me
if that were true, he wouldnt have treated me like he did even after we broke up. because apparently i didnt even know the worst of it
and his friends tell me he's suffering
but did he have a panic attack every day the first week of school because he was afraid of getting put on a team with me in Comp Science?
they tell me he's suffering too, but does he have panic attacks at the sound of tapping in a certain rhythm?
they say that, but does he have panic attacks around me because hes afraid i may do something to him? because hes afraid that me "wanting to talk" is something more?
did he spend fucking nights awake thinking that itd be better if he wasnt even there because some of his closest friends believed me over him?
no? oh wait fucking sorry that was me
people expect me to apologize to him
i honestly don't fucking know what i should apologize for
for hating the guy who ruined a year of my life? for hating the guy who caused me tons of fucking pain? i dont even know what.
so uh. hm
ive realized over the past few months ive turned this blog into more of a vent blog and less of like, idk, my blog? idk i think its just cause like, this is a spot where I know I can yell about the shit im going through and not only will my ex not see me but a lot of other ppl won't. super sorry if you for some reason or another thought my content before was like, decent or smth
idk I just needed something like this. also be prepared to see another vent post cause im. hm.
i saw your recent post, and why don't you delete the songs that are triggers?
I did after that happened. i dont know why i didnt after the first time, but that was the second time it had happened.
I fucking hate my ex. I hate that im here stuck with being triggered into panic attacks and flashbacks by drumstick tapping in a certain rhythm bc of his favorite song.
i hate that no matter how hard i try, no matter how hard i want to forget about all of it and get it out of my life, i cant because the effects of our relationship are stamped into every day of my life.
I cant fucking listen to music without being afraid that the next song to come on will remind me of it.
i especially cant get over it when I cant be around my friends without being around him.
I cant go through a day of school without being around him
no matter how fucking much i try I cant get rid od this shit and he gets to apologize months later and expect us to be friends again
all I wanted was to stop feeling fucking isolated and stuck in my brain and i just wanted to stop feeling like I didnt exist and this is what i get. i get trauma. i get to have reminders of the piece of shit everytime i listen to music.
I get panic attacks everytime he talks to me. I get anxiety when I have to interact with him. I get flashbacks and feeling powerless. I get hours and hours of crying over our shitty relationship not because I miss it but because i miss my life before it happened.
I don't feel safe half the time at school anymore
a majority of my friends that are also friends with him expect me to just forgive him and move on bc "hes changed"
i dont fucking care that he changed. him "becoming a beter person" doesnt fucking make my triggers and panic attacks and tears and songs I can never listen to again and words I can never hear again go away.
it does fuck all. come back to me.when you have a way i can get rid of this shit then we'll talk
controversial opinion after finishing Doom(2016)
Doom Marine is trans.
all the demons hes killed are just the transphobes.
And the biggest transphobe was Samuel Hayden(fuck you Hayden)
Eddie Brock: hey parasite, what do you want to eat tonight?
Venom:
Eddie: sighs
Eddie: Oh lord of darkness and king of earth, Venom, what would you like to feast upon this night?
Venom: Choco milky