2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@pathetic-floretic
Why hello, terrans! I am Clara Bloombelle, representative of affini-terran relations! The higher ups elected that a terran would fare better at the job, and so... they hired me! Pleasure to make your acquaintance! Send all the asks you need!
And hi, I'm Katie! I'm just here for fun. Send me your funniest class-D confessions in the asks!
Philomena Cunk's preserved consciousness [narration]:
"In the year 70 trillion 05, humans first made contact with the Affini, who just wanted us to join The Affini Compost. But humankind didn't want to, mostly because worms shit in compost all the time."
TALARAZ ABRAXIS-
scholar of feralism
Philomena: "why do they call them floor-its if they're getting carried around all the time?"
Talaraz: "Well- that term is less borne from their behavior and moreso taken from plant terminology."
Philomena: "oh, because plants come out of the floor all the time."
Talaraz: "....sure."
Philomena: "my mate Paul went feralist once. His mouth started foaming and he started biting shit. Why do you support that rhetoric?"
Talaraz: "it isn't just unmeasured wildness and rebellion, feralism is about humankind's right to freedom, no matter where that takes it!"
Philomena (slightly disappointed): "so you haven't bitten anything?"
Talaraz: "...no."
Philomena: "you should get on that. Maybe that's the secret to defeating them. Like the broccoli aliens from Powerpuff Girls."
Talaraz: "we'll- uh- look into that-"
Philomena: "they used to call pinnates sisters, did they not know that if you have a baby with your sister it'll come out wrong?"
Talaraz: "well- two biological women can't have a-"
Philomena: "it's not my problem if one of them's got a penis, they have bigger issues, I think."
Talaraz: "...right. well, while pinnates sometimes do have sex, giving birth is something that by our records has not happened on any affini ship."
Philomena: "oh, so it's all well and good then."
Talaraz: "no-"
Philomena: "they're just kinda like the weird couple down the bend?"
I sorta get the whole "hdg is a horror setting" thing from the perspective of a feralist trapped on an affini ship. Its like zombies but they all love you and they look like your friends but dont act like them.
But like. Its sexy to me?
Do you think feralists have drawn a floretjak image. It would probably be a trace of that deergasm girl bc the people who were hating on that just don't get the bliss of being an animal for once.
this is the stupidest thing ive ever drawn
Sorry that I keep talking about mommy fetish things, my mother dismissed me in my time of most desperate need you know how it is
I'm having an increasing number of dreams where I purposefully fantasize about being sexually assaulted and then other people show up and are like "dude what the fuck" i either have to hide the evidence or deny deny deny at that point.
I've just realised something horrific. HDG is just monster girl encyclopedia, but the affini is every dom monster [domster if you will] at once.
Plant monster - alraune.
Hypnosis - about a dozen, but vampire hits my head first.
Drugs - manticore [best girl].
Physical strength - hellhound, oni.
Science bullshit - lich or gremlin.
Do you see the vision?
Okay so I haven't heard of this series before so I googled the manticore, I scrolled through her wiki and
Does she. Sometimes attack girls maybe.
Please.
>JK Rowling with mold-based affini
what if she went bad because of mold and all she needs is somebody to de-mold her brain for her. i know that's 99% not the case but it would be really really really really REALLY funny in a moderately tragic way if it was
Mold based affini laces her sharpies with xenodrugs so that when she huffs them she gets class-a'd
Do you think feralists have drawn a floretjak image. It would probably be a trace of that deergasm girl bc the people who were hating on that just don't get the bliss of being an animal for once.
Thinking about how I accidentally invented discount hdg multiple times before I had even heard about it.
I wrote a fic called "mist collars" very successful before it was banned off of my fic site for being violently pornographic (i was stupid back then and didn't consider the OBVIOUS consequences of posting smut on wattpad, which is why i privated it years before moderation took it down), where subs were fitted with these collars that would drug them into complying with what any dom says. Having little-to-no lower clothing was a status symbol for doms, especially when said doms were wet or erect, as it said that they were entitled to sex whenever they wanted it. Our story followed Clara, a student at a community College who one day gets ordered to suck off the local jock girl Millie, and oddly, obeyed her even before her collar went off. As the story went on, it became clearer that despite the dystopia around them, Millie and Clara had a true love for eachother. There were a couple of funny parts too, like when Clara and Millie go to a church picnic and the pastor says to remain abstinent, only for the whole crowd including him to burst out laughing after a beat. Then there was Millie sneaking Clara into her house and giving the excuse to her mom that "she's a dog" her mother goes "she doesn't look like a dog!" And Millie rolls her eyes and goes "there's like a hundred breeds of dog, they don't all look the same!" And her mom just... accepts that. There's one part where she pulls up in her beat-up shitty old truck with beer cans everywhere and she's like "Clara just pick one of those song tapes and put it in the radio slot, the music'll drown out the engine" and all the tapes are shit like "booty jams" "booty jams 2: electric bootyloo" "booty jams; rebootyed"
The second time was this smut setting where basically everybody lived in one big commune, no capitalism (yay) and everybody was either always naked or had easy access clothes, and everyone just smoked weed and fucked eachother all day.
There are some individual characters i made that I think sorta give hdg but this post is gettin' long. Lemme know if you wanna hear about them.
I still do kinda like the mist collars setting, and think it would fit right in as like some sort of hdg side-story.
connivent who was literally jk rowling. send ask
JK Rowling with mold-based affini. Send response.
transphobes should be like sent to the mines (in HDG) for realsies or something. they don't deserve to be loved and cherished and cared for. i'm going to complain about this. bad people shouldn't get to be pets.
Everyone deserves a shot at happiness through domestication, even if it requires... extensive reprogramming. You wouldn't believe how many giggly brainless floret girls used to be bigoted rebel men. In real life, I harbor very little empathy for transphobes, but in the (arguably) utopian world of hdg, any rehabilitation is possible.
Heartwarming: group of lesbians ogle insecure Trans woman
#howigenuinelyfeelwhilewithagroupofciswomenminusthepartwheretheyareattractedtome
what happens to bad people when the affini take over. like transphobes. what happens to them..
The more hatred you have in your heart the easier you are to flort. I dont make the rules.
Did one of those tiktok "slander" videos but for the hdg community
Incorrect way of lesbian flirting-
Girl #1: bro... close your eyes
Girl #2: okay bro
Girl #1: what do u see
Girl #2: nothing bro
Girl #1: that's my world without you bro
Girl #2: bro...
CORRECT way of lesbian flirting:
Girl #1: close your eyes
Girl #2: yes ma'am
Girl #1: what do you see?
Girl #2: nothing, ma'am
Girl #1: that's your world without me
Girl #2: heehee! Yup! I'm so glad you took me, mistress!
heeellpppp my pinnate keeps screaming about how the FBI is using incest to discredit transgender women.. i dont even know what an FBI is. floret body inspector?
I honestly don't mind the jokes lol, I get why you're making them. I'm the "FBI transfem incest psyop hdg" girl, a combination so batshit insane that it could only prosper on tumblr. Um, tell your pinnate that at the end of the day having an incest fetish is just kinda the same level of "problematic" fetishism as cnc and drugging and brainwashing and shit. They might make a good point once in a while, but they're just mentally spasming in fear and anger at the idea of incest because of an event in their lives they don't like to talk about. But- like- mommy stuff is completely fine with them???? Which also is because of that event, but it doesn't make their argument any stronger.
