Pinterest Mom™ @patterned-flannel - Tumblr Blog

There's worse to come, folks. Strap in and stay strapped.

All news posts are stronger with receipts:

Eight people accused by the Justice Department of having ties to antifa have been sentenced to decades in federal prison over a shooting out

auxryn

You can support imprisoned people by sending them letters of support and money to use for the commisary and phone calls. Being in prison is expensive. Don't write anything that would get them in trouble. Prisoners' mail is read by guards.

bitchautism

here's two articles about how JK Rowling just posted on X an upskirt photo of Freda Wallace, a transgender woman, after deadnaming her and misgendering her repeatedly online.

The wealthy author escalated a social media spat that resulted in posting a photo from a 2023 event at the Institute of Economic Affairs in

Rowling posted the picture taken from below because the trans woman, she said, was "refusing to debate me."

sailatina3

Thank you for posting without the fucking destiel meme

actualtree

ITS ONLY JULY FIRST

coolsadtrash

tumblerculosis

I’ve been obsessed with this tiktok for days now

coffeedcait

Person: "Hello sir." he pets the frog with one finger.

Person: "Have a good day. Actually wait a minute. You missed a bug, but I got you home boy. Hold on." he picks a bug up and throws it next to the frog.

Frog: turns around and eats the bug.

Person: "OHHHHH-" sings high pitched and angelic like he witnessed a miracle.

titsay

roseworth

“help” is my favorite way to say that something is funny. like hey i laughed at this post can you save me

incendavery

DONT ask why corvid isnt wearing a shirt bc the answer is embarrassing. (i forgor to draw it)

incendavery

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

the meaning of life? is to make your bedroom as comfy as possible. that's it that's the purpose

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

the secondary purpose is to equip your kitchen and get really really really into international cuisine

freakoutgirl

if tumblr shuts down you'll find me like this

i-give-chess-pieces-to-people

[ID in alt text]

shhh......

Romano 😳

This one's for you anon. You know who you are

#hetalia

daydreamingoveracupofcoffee

How would the Hetalia Allies and Axis react if they learned that their 2p's are also in love with the same sweet female country reader as them?

America (Alfred F. Jones) vs 2p!America (Allen F. Jones)

1p!America: “WHAT “DUDE, NO WAY! That guy’s a total psycho! Babe, you can’t seriously— wait, you’re not actually into the bad-boy thing, right? RIGHT?!”

Instant panic + loud possessive mode. Starts dragging you to every burger joint, movie theater, and amusement park to prove he’s the fun one. Tries to one-up Allen by buying you increasingly ridiculous gifts (a giant teddy bear the size of a car, a private fireworks show, etc.).

2p!America: Smirks, sharpens his bat, and just quietly starts showing up wherever you are. Doesn’t say much, but the threatening aura aimed at Alfred is palpable. Might “accidentally” break into your house to leave roses with a single drop of blood on the petals “for the aesthetic.”

Outcome: Constant loud shouting matches in public. You’ll have to intervene before one of them actually swings.

England (Arthur Kirkland) vs 2p!England (Oliver Kirkland)

1p!England: Goes stiff, face turns red, then pale. “That… that pastel psychopath is in LOVE with you?! Love, he puts arsenic in cupcakes! Stay away from him!”

Immediately switches to overprotective gentleman mode: walks you home, checks your food for poison, tries (and fails) to ban Oliver from international meetings.

2p!England: “Poppet~ I heard my boring other self is trying to keep you all to himself! How dull~ Why don’t you come have tea with me instead? I baked strawberry scones just for you~” (They’re definitely drugged with something that makes you compliant.)

Outcome: Passive-aggressive tea parties where Arthur and Oliver smile sweetly while trying to murder each other with scones and insults. You’ll have to eat nothing until the cold war ends.

France (Francis Bonnefoy) vs 2p!France (François Bonnefoy)

1p!France: Dramatic gasp, hand over heart. “Mon dieu… that depressing chain-smoking disaster is trying to court you too?! Cherie, he doesn’t even believe in love!”

Doubles his romantic efforts: 100 roses become 1000, love letters become novels, suddenly every date is in a new European capital.

2p!France: Shrugs, lights another cigarette. “Whatever. If she picks the sparkly idiot, that’s her problem.” Secretly starts leaving you expensive wine, handwritten notes in perfect cursive, and single black roses. He’ll never admit he’s trying.

Outcome: Francis keeps flamboyantly wooing you in public while François broods in the shadows and sarcastically undermines Francis every chance he gets. The sexual tension is off the charts, and you’re stuck in the middle.

Canada (Matthew Williams) vs 2p!Canada (James Williams)

1p!Canada: Quietly devastated. “…Oh. Even my 2p likes you too… I guess I really am invisible, eh…”

Starts retreating into himself, apologizes for bothering you, and tries to “nobly” step aside.

2p!Canada: Shows up with an axe on his shoulder, wordlessly sits way too close to you, and glares at anyone (especially Matthew) who comes near. If Matthew tries to back off, James just mutters, “Good. Leave.” While possessively wrapping an arm around you.

Outcome: Matthew eventually snaps (quietly, but still a snap) and you get the rare sight of the two Canadas in a passive-aggressive (then fully aggressive) hockey fight over you. James will win physically, but Matthew guilt-trips everyone into feeling bad for him.

China (Wang Yao) vs 2p!China (Anikku/Wang Xiao)

1p!China: Outwardly calm, inwardly screaming. “That opium-addict delinquent likes you too, aru?! Absolutely not!”

Starts cooking you elaborate meals, giving you traditional gifts, and trying to educate you on why the 2p version is a “bad influence.”

2p!China: Lazy grin, half-lidded eyes. “Hey cutie~ Wanna ditch the old man and come smoke with me? I’ll let you wear my tangzhuang~” Offers you questionable substances and constantly drapes himself over you like a clingy cat.

Outcome: Yao keeps trying to drag you away to museums and panda sanctuaries while Xiao keeps trying to drag you to underground clubs. You’ll be exhausted from the cultural whiplash.

Russia (Ivan Braginski) vs 2p!Russia (Viktor Braginski)

1p!Russia: Smile becomes scarily serene. “Oh… so my other self wants you too, da?”

Immediately becomes ten times more clingy and possessive in the most terrifyingly gentle way. “You will stay with me forever, won’t you, sunflower~?” Starts casually mentioning how many pipes he has.

2p!Russia: Cold, dead stare. Actively hates almost everyone and everything, including his 1p self. Silently begins eliminating any perceived competition (including Ivan) with brutal efficiency. Will straight-up tell you, “Choose him and I’ll break you both.”

Outcome: Pure horror movie vibes. Two terrifying Russians in a psychological (and possibly physical) death match over you. The other nations hold an emergency meeting titled “How do we save her without starting WW3.” Good luck.

North Italy (Feliciano Vargas) vs 2p!Italy (Luciano Vargas)

1p!Italy: Starts crying immediately. “Ve~ Why does the scary me want you too?! I just want to make you pasta and hold your hand, bello!”

Clings to your arm 24/7, whining and trying to out-cute Luciano.

2p!Italy: Knife-twirling, bloodlust smile. “Mine. I’m going to carve my name into anyone who touches her… starting with you, weakling.” Casually stabs the table when Feli gets too close to you. Leaves you bouquets of red roses soaked in (someone else’s) blood.

Outcome: Feliciano tries to win you over with endless affection and home-cooked meals. Luciano tries to win you over by murdering everyone who looks at you. You will be covered in tomato sauce on one side and blood on the other.

Germany (Ludwig Beilschmidt) vs 2p!Germany (Lutz Beilschmidt)

1p!Germany: Turns beet-red, then ice-cold. “That lazy, beer-soaked disaster thinks he can have you? Over my dead body.”

Starts enforcing strict schedules: 6:00 date with Ludwig, 6:30 self-defense training in case Lutz shows up.

2p!Germany: Grins, cracks open another beer, and just leans against the wall staring at you like prey. “Heh. She’s way too cute for that stick-in-the-mud.” Shows up shirtless, covered in scars, and offers to “protect” you in ways Ludwig would never.

Outcome: Ludwig tries to out-discipline Lutz; Lutz tries to out-slacker-bad-boy him. Ends with both of them drunk in your living room arguing over who gets to carry you to bed (they both do, awkwardly).

Japan (Kiku Honda) vs 2p!Japan (Kuro Honda)

1p!Japan: Extremely calm on the outside, internally having a meltdown. Politely but firmly starts occupying 100% of your time with tea ceremonies, garden walks, and quiet confessions.

“I would prefer if you did not speak to… the other me.”

2p!Japan: Cold, sadistic, and zero chill. Shows up in a black uniform, katana drawn, and speaks in a low monotone: “You belong to me now. Resist and I will make this painful.” Secretly writes terrifyingly beautiful horror-themed love letters in perfect calligraphy.

Outcome: Kiku tries to win you with refined grace and emotional restraint. Kuro tries to win you with psychological warfare and implied threats. You will never sleep peacefully again.

South Italy/Romano (Lovino Vargas) vs 2p!Romano (Flavio Vargas)

1p!Romano: Explosive jealousy. “That flamboyant bastard thinks he can steal mia bella?! I’ll kill him!”

Starts yelling, cursing in Italian, then immediately switches to flustered tsundere affection around you.

2p!Romano: Fashion-obsessed, possessive, and dramatic. “Darling~! Only I understand true beauty! Come here so I can dress you properly~” Kidnaps you for three-hour makeover sessions and threatens to stab anyone who ruins your outfit (especially Lovino).

Outcome: Both are screaming Italian divas fighting over who gets to spoil you more. One tries to feed you, the other tries to dress you. You will be stuffed with food and drowning in designer clothes against your will.

Spain (Antonio Fernández Carriedo) vs 2p!Spain (Andrés Fernández Carriedo)

1p!Spain: Sunshine smile freezes. “Churros… even my other self wants mi tomate pequeña?”

Becomes 1000% more clingy and affectionate, constantly hugging you and calling you pet names in public to mark territory.

2p!Spain: Dead-eyed, chain-smoking, and terrifyingly apathetic until it comes to you. “Touch her and you die slowly.” Starts leaving dead roses and broken guitar strings as “gifts.” Will actually murder someone without changing expression.

Outcome: Antonio tries to drown you in warmth and paella. Andrés lurks in the shadows ready to eliminate anything that moves near you. You now have a permanent cheerful bodyguard and a silent assassin stalker.

Prussia (Gilbert Beilschmidt) vs 2p!Prussia (Gilen Beilschmidt)

1p!Prussia: Loud cackling at first (“Ha! Even the emo version wants my girl? Kesesese~ too bad I’m awesome!”), then sudden insecurity when he realizes Gilen is actually serious. Starts showing off even harder — flexing, bragging, dragging you on “epic adventures.”

2p!Prussia: Extremely quiet, trembling intensity. Almost never speaks, but stares at you with desperate, haunted eyes. Leaves you tiny handmade gifts (carved wooden birds, pressed flowers) and follows you at a distance like a lost puppy that might bite.

Outcome: Gilbert tries to out-extrovert and out-awesome Gilen. Gilen just quietly exists in your personal space until you feel bad for him. Eventually Gilbert starts yelling at Gilen for “creeping you out,” and Gilen almost cries. You now have two traumatized Prussian brothers competing via completely opposite methods.

(You’re going to need therapy. And possibly witness protection. Run. Just run.)

#hetalia