Ruler of Men

Bisexual by force, Lesbian by choice

[pmamtraveller]

The Pearl With The Girl Earring by Olaf Falafel

[gamgee]

i think rob zombie was really speaking for all of us when he stressed how important it is to dig through the ditches and burn through the witches and slam in the back of one’s dragula

[boringkate]

A new girlfriend? In this economy? What you should be getting is a used girlfriend. A refurbished girlfriend. An open boxed girlfriend.

[iwannabeaswampwitch]

Lots of drama in our household

[worthyofmygrace]

[Image ID: Text message that reads "Did you see that the spider in the bathroom appears to have taken a lover?" End of ID]

[boringkate]

Bechdel test lifehack: Any boy that can be discussed can also be force feminized.

[hiveswap]

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

[gaytanic-panic]

[officialjiggly]

sucking dick is demeaning

[splashes-n-stuff]

De meaning of life 😎

[egberts]

i got that dog in me but it's poorly socialized and i don't take it on as many walks as i should

[boringkate]

Someone somewhere is the best in the world at sucking dick and it's meaningless. They aren't famous. There's no prize. It's not a competition. None of us are competitors. You don't have anything to prove. All that matters is that you keep sucking. Maybe we can even suck on it together.

[kitty-c4t]

[budugu]

[agnosticblowjob]

[byjove]

ages 0-7: slowly gain sentience

ages 7-12: be an ‘old soul’

ages 12-16: allow the darkness to consume you

ages 16-19: be a kid for the first time ever

ages 19-30: develop dad lore

ages 30-35: court a beautiful lady

ages 35-40: get married, start a family

ages 40-55: promise to clean out the gutters and never do it again

ages 55-60: allow the darkness to consume you once more

ages 60-75: swinger cruises with your beautiful wife

ages 75-86: be an eccentric grandfather

age 86: mysteriously disappear

[imabrattyangel]

“my pretty girl” raw. next question.

[loveridden1999]

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[markovchaingang]

we must protect the sanctity of divorce

[boringkate]

But if it was a GIRL hanging out the passenger side of her best friend's ride trying to holla at me then I might feel differently...