We’ve all been there: needing to be in a Big Space and desperately needing to feel smol and safe. These are just a few tips that I’ve come across in juggling my little mode and Big Things.
This list is for nonsexual age regressors.
👶 First, know that is perfectly ok to need to be smol. It’s your coping mechanism and you should never fear that.
👶 Practice middle space. This is the “art” of being regressed in your mind and still being able to participate in a Big environment. I practice middle space by making anything big related into a game. Work is funny because I know I’m secretly a baby and it makes me giggle that everyone thinks I’m an adult.
👶 If you don’t need to participate in anything (such as shopping by yourself, waiting in line etc) put headphones in and listen to Disney music or whatever music helps you feel regressed. The headphones will also muffle any other noise plus people tend to leave headphone wearers alone.
👶 Wear a onesie underneath your regular clothes. Wearing my onesie makes me feel warm and safe, and during stressful times, I have worn it to work.
👶 Carry a stuffie. You can either openly do this or have one in your bag. When you’re feeling stressed, you can take their little paw and talk to them, even in your head (stuffies are expert telepaths). Knowing you have an understanding friend will help.
👶 Try carrying around something you can nibble or gnaw at if you tend to bite. They make teething bracelets that look cute and you can easily hide in your hand.
👶 Wear an oversized shirt. You’ll feel smol plus you can use it to hide yourself a bit if overwhelmed.
👶 Fidget cubes, tangles or similar are great to work away excess energy if you’re struggling.
👶 If you’re heading out with family, friends or your carer, stay close to whoever you feel safe with. Make sure they know and understand that you aren’t feeling safe and just want to be able to hide if necessary. If they know you regress, say you need to be little and they’ll understand. If they don’t know, keep it simple but truthful: that you just need to be safe.
👶 If you’re out with your carer, try walking close but slightly behind them. You’ll feel in their shadow a bit and covered, and can help you feel both smol and protected.
👶 If you’re confident to bring a paci, you can easily hide it in a long sleeve to soothe on, and in a darkened places such as a theatre you can even get away with using it freely. If you’re not at that stage yet, try candy, a push pop, ring pop or similar to soothe with.
👶 Make plans in your head. You can easily plan being little in your head. While you’re stuck in a Big Space, you can plan your dino nugget dinner, a stuffie tea party, or even just imagine the things that make you happy.
👶 Carry a notebook and a multi-ink pen. Draw, make plans etc. When you’re feeling overwhelmed or just need a break, you can doodle and feel smol for a few minutes.
👶 Talk to your carer. If you’re alone, text them and baby talk to them. If they’d physically there, whisper to them, hold their hand and tell them that you’re feeling regressed. They’ll look out for you and that can be a safe feeling.
👶 Don’t be afraid to let people glimpse your little side. You can talk sweetly, nibble food like a toddler, swing your feet in your chair, hum, smile and other sweet things. If you’re in an environment that frowns on this (ie work, a meeting etc), practice it all internally. Send mental messages to your stuffies.
👶 Play cute games on your phone.
👶 Read children’s books on your phone.
👶 If you’re looking for a cute but acceptable hairstyle for Big Spaces, try a side braid if you have long hair, simple but cute clips for shorter hair. You can add a small bow, too.
👶 Don’t be afraid to leave early if you can. If the situation is draining you and it’s a temporary setting (eg a party, a dinner etc) then be open: say your quiet tired but it has been absolutely wonderful. Excuse yourself and say your goodbyes. Your mental health is more important than staying late.
👶 Just remember: most people have already probably glimpsed your little side, so don’t overthink things. It’s perfectly okay to be sweet and endearing in big spaces. You’ll bring a smile to someone as well.
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