pcy-exo

[iyeolie]

one of the nation’s pick ✨

[jahmyaa]

Blame this guy named tony for this ok😭

[kennyy-b-deactivated20210321]

Y’all need to chill

[phatmamaa]

no fr

[kimreesesdaughter]

2018 been kicking my ass. I can’t take no chances.

[ambs-witdalocs]

Final tonight, had to double back.

Not playing

[anancientheart]

ok universe, i’m ready to feel good things. make me feel good things.

[anancientheart]

whenever i post this it works  reblog if u want to feel good things & the universe will bring u something sweet 

[byunfirstlady]

Baekhyun fic recs

In which i am crazy enough to classify all “my” baekhyun fics reblogs since 2016, why am i doing that part 2 / part 3

First of all, I would like to thank you for the time and energy you have devoted to your writings. When you can’t close a page, and you say “go, one more writing and I stop” is that the author did a good job. I would like to tag you to congratulate you and thank you very much for your exemplary work. I feel much more alive every time I read one of your writings, I pass through many emotions and thanks to you. You do not even have to write for free, and yet you do it? You are all the pearl of readers. 

> Favorite 

> * New

Gif is mine but credit to jongdaerous for the video. (this is amazing)

Keep reading

[okcupidescapades]

i feel like the most important piece of wisdom i can impart on teenagers is that no one–no one–knows what the fuck they’re doing

my brother is 26 years old, makes $200k a year, and just bought a house with his fiance. he’s the success story you hear about but never actually meet in person, but it all happened by accident. he wanted to go to college for clarinet performance, but he got rejected from all the top schools. so he decided to major in physics instead, and then went on to get a doctorate to put off being an adult for a few more years. but then he ended up dropping out halfway through the program and accepting a job with google as a software engineer. so to reiterate: my brother majored in something he was not interested in, and then he got a job that had nothing to do with his degree. 

he isn’t successful because he had some master plan he followed, he just stumbled around blindly until something worked out. and that’s what we’re all doing–i majored in political science and now i do customer service for a company that makes industrial-sized gas detection monitors. the marketing director at my company has a degree in biology, and my mom has an MBA and works at a middle school.  no one knows what they’re doing, we’re all just trying different things until something works out.

so if you don’t have a plan, that’s fine. most of us don’t. and even those of us who do, don’t usually end up doing the thing they thought they would. it’s okay to relax and let life carry you wherever it’s gonna carry you. because even though a lot of us don’t end up doing the thing we wanted, most of us end up happy anyway.

[okcupidescapades]

I’ve been thinking about this post since I made it a few hours ago, and I realized that I literally don’t know anyone who’s doing what they thought they’d be doing at this point in their life. I know a girl that has a degree in neuroscience and works in a restaurant (and makes quite a bit more money than I do, might I add), and a guy who wanted to be a parole officer but is now a security guard. I know people who wanted to be lawyers but ended up not having the grades for law school. I have a friend who’s 24 and just finished her bachelor’s, and two friends who decided to go to grad school because the idea of joining the adult world terrified them.

When I was seventeen, I was 100% sure that I was going to get a job as a bureaucrat and save the world. When I was a 21-year-old recent college grad, I found out that it’s impossible to get a government job unless you know someone. So I gave up and found something else. I know my teenage self would be disappointed if she could see where I’m at, but you know what? I don’t care. Because teenage me was an idiot. She didn’t know anything about the world or how it worked, and she couldn’t have possibly predicted the curveballs that life would throw at her. And because I don’t know a single person who’s doing the thing they wanted to do when they were teenagers.

I know a thousand people who aren’t where they thought they’d be, and zero people who are following the path they set out for themselves. All of us are confused and all of us are scared, and it’s okay if you are too.

[aphotov]

Honestly thank u, i needed to hear this again

[shinhye-daily]

[aerigom]

Visit Original Link

Kyungsoo’s smooth vocals accompanied by Chanyeol on the piano <3

cr: niniscope

[lq-pcy]

💌

[dailyexo]

Xiumin - 180608 Magical Circus Tour 2018 in Osaka - Cry

Credit: Schnee.

[candlelitconversations]

Gerbera :: 07

:: baekhyun x oc ;; espionage au ;; angst/fluff :: 

It takes Kyungsoo’s team thirteen days before they finally track the location of the Round Table. That day when DK had attempted to ambush the Round Table meeting, they had been reverse-attacked, wiping out almost all of the skilled snipers and combaters that were in the assignment. Kyungsoo had been at the bases; with his team of back up ready to jump in should there be surprises. But they had been instructed firmly to not engage despite the clear deteriorating situation at hand, for fears of further compromise to the DK group. They had taken a large blow, and it was pure rage and grief that had fuelled the surviving men and women to continue their hunt for the Round Table. Unfortunately, Baekhyun had no tracker; Soohyun and Baekyhun were two of the few agents who never had a tracker inserted, with their destined roles for much more dangerous and high profile assignments where such a device would blow their covers. Kyungsoo had been made second in charge, and with the help of Baekhyun and Soohyun’s carefully collected intel from the years, had managed to track and decipher the message that had alerted the remaining Round Table members prior to the meeting, and thus avoid their ambush. Harnessing the coding from the message, Kyungsoo had managed to send a false message to the members, and gathered that a majority of them were in a safe house in Jeju Island. Using the code, Kyungsoo had set up a further meeting for the Round Table members to meet at said safe house.

Between his tireless days and nights planning and toiling, Kyungsoo made sure to check on Soohyun. She was still in the infirmary, and whilst they had managed to coax her to somewhat eat a decent amount on a daily basis, she was plagued by nightmares and panic attacks as she relived the moment of the bullet running through her body, and the subsequent sensation of blood rapidly draining out of her body as she lay hopelessly on the ground. It broke his heart to see his best friend in this state, her small frame becoming even smaller, and her eyes permanently pink from their overuse.

***

Kyungsoo is the one to find Baekhyun, and he is surprised by both how relatively unscathed he looks from physical injuries, but also how his gaunt face eerily matched that of Soohyun’s. He doesn’t ask Baekhyun what the Round Table have done to him, unsure whether he wants to find out about their forms of torture in detail. The mission is successful, and they take Hera amongst several others back to the DK headquarters for further questioning. The others are assassinated in the process, their bodies transported back to the South Korean government headquarters.

When Kyungsoo brings Baekhyun to the door leading to Soohyun’s room, Baekhyun finds himself rooted to the cold marble floor, his hands unable to bring themselves to the handle. Kyungsoo leaves him, understanding his need for space. Although Soohyun had never mentioned how she had come about losing her partner to the Round Table in the ambush, from how tormented the pair appeared Kyungsoo could only guess that the circumstances had been more than traumatic. For the top agents of their cohort to fail not only their assignment but also each other… Kyungsoo could only begin to imagine the emotions the two have had to live through for the past fortnight.

Perhaps that is why Kyungsoo was less than surprised when he came back in half an hour to find Baekhyun curled into foetal position, his body leaning on the still shut door, dried tears painting his face and expression unreadable. He hands clutching the small canvas of painted daisies.

***

The process continues, with Baekhyun coming back to lean against Soohyun’s door between meals and medical check-ups. Kyungsoo lets Soohyun know that their mission was a success, and that the Round Table were truly obliterated now. Soohyun doesn’t ask about Baekhyun, although Kyungsoo can tell from her eyes that she was desperate to find out. But until Baekhyun is able to open the door himself, Kyungsoo cannot bring himself to tell Soohyun that Baekhyun has been rescued.

It takes only two days for Soohyun to work out that Baekhyun was in the same building as her, in one of the oddest yet most spy-resque ways that Kyungsoo could have imagined. If the pair hadn’t been so clearly grim and depressed Kyungsoo may even have laughed at the situation. He had been visiting Soohyun that day, having almost walked over Baekhyun’s sleeping form. Soohyun hadn’t seen Baekhyun at the door (he himself had made sure of that), but she had smelt his familiar scent on Kyungsoo’s clothes, confronting Kyungsoo immediately about the situation. Desperate for some progress that would hopefully move the two along from this gridlock of a situation, Kyungsoo had told Soohyun everything: from how they had found Baekhyun to the way he had been clutching a painting at her door for days.  

Soohyun remained mute for a long while after hearing this. She stays still for so long that Kyungsoo begins to worry. Then she smiles – small, but genuine, and Kyungsoo feels just a little more at peace than he’s been for the past few weeks. She had always been the cheerful, optimistic one in their friendship, and to see her smile gave him a glimpse of her old self.

[x-exo]

chansoo antics @ the eℓyxion in hong kong 180602 (cr.)

[kiauraly]

#KAIxGUCCI to france - 180529 ;

[candlelitconversations]

Gerbera :: 06

:: baekyhun x oc ;; espionage au ;; genre: angst :: 

( masterlist :: 01 :: 02 :: 03 :: 04 :: 05 :: )

The next thing Soohyun remembers is a white ceiling, and a light so bright that she immediately has to shut her eyes again.

“Can you hear me? Soohyun?”

Kyungsoo.

“Soohyun? Can you hear me?”

She forces her eyes open at the voice of her childhood friend. Kyungsoo and Soohyun had trained together from the age of five, with their similar intellects landing themselves frequently in the other’s classes. While Soohyun’s pride had been her shooting abilities, Kyungsoo had excelled in decoding, the pair having spent many hours together tutoring the other in their particular specialties.

“Kyung-“ she croaked, immediately breaking into a coughing fit before she could finish his name. He helps her sit up, handing her a small glass of water immediately. Soohyun reaches for the water but Kyungsoo moves it towards her mouth, helping her down the soothing liquid.

“You’re still too weak, let me help you,” he reassures, his arm sturdy as he supported her back.

“Baekhyun,” she starts. “Where is he?”

“He got taken, we couldn’t find him,” Kyungsoo broaches gently. “Don’t worry, he wasn’t amongst those that…”

“How many did we lose Soo?” She asks quietly, her voice hardly more than a whisper.

“You should rest Soohyun…”

“It’s all my fault Kyungsoo, I led them there…I…” Soohyun stops speaking as she breaks down, the anguish from guilt and grief pouring over her, taking over her thoughts and heart.

***

The next time Soohyun breaks down, she is alone in her infirmary room. She sees her breakfast tray on the table next to her bed, and upon reaching for the yoghurt she notices something was definitely not right. As she struggles to grasp the yoghurt tub in her right hand, a sense of dread washes over her as she realises.

It takes Kyungsoo two days to persuade Soohyun to have anything to eat. When he had first found her, her tray and its contents were splayed across the bed and room, Soohyun’s IV had pulled out and there was blood all over the white sheets. Amongst all of that, Soohyun had huddled into the very corner of the room, weeping as she hugged her legs into her chest. In the end they had to give her a temporary sedative injection to calm her and bring her back to her bed. And despite her eventually letting the nurses place her back onto her intravenous fluids, she wouldn’t say a word or have anything to eat for two days, despite Kyungsoo’s pleads. It wasn’t until he threatened to join her in her fasting at the end of the second day that she agrees to have the pitiful spoonfuls of custard that Kyungsoo feeds her.

***

“But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.” – Daniel Handler

The quote adorns the back of the small canvas of mauve daisies that Baekhyun clutches, as he tries to stay silent through his cries, his mind continuously replaying Soohyun’s last expression before he had shot her. Even as his lungs struggle to fight for air between his cries, his chest tightening and his body shaking violently, he cannot escape from the tearing pain in his heart that only seems to continue its crescendo.

He was deep in the headquarters of the Round Table; Hera had taken him here. She blamed his sudden departure as the trigger, fuelling her further into her business and ultimately leading her to takeover her father’s position in the Round Table. She promised him refuge and pardon from the Round Table, offering him the position as her right-hand man. But his mind had gone blank the moment he realised his mistake of trusting her. He loved Hera, but it had taken him the wrong choice to realise that that love was only in the past. A part of him would always love the young Hera that he had met in the small Florence town, and he would forever blame himself for the path fate had guided Hera down. If he could go back, he would have taken her with him on that flight from Italy to Korea, if it could have meant saving her from this destiny.

But as he clutched onto the small piece of canvas with Soohyun’s signature scrawled onto the back, he realised that he had long fallen for her; from the moment he had laid eyes on her messy bun, the first time he had witnessed her outrage at her newly formed shade of paint drying before she was finished with it, the way the sun would dance across her face in the early hours of the morning… His dreams were haunted by their memories together, ultimately always ending with Baekhyun waking up in a cold sweat as his dreams turn into nightmares, ending in the scene where he shoots Soohyun, and she lies there in a pool of her own blood, unmoving.

[candlelitconversations]

Gerbera :: 05

“Ironic isn’t it? That the boy who tried to save her from drowning, ended up drowning her himself.” – Miriella Marie, “Beauty in the Tragedy”.

:: baekhyun x oc ;; espionage au ;; angstandmoreangst ::

  - playlist: taeyeon rescue me;; cbx cry -  

( masterlist :: 01 :: 02 :: 03 :: 04 ::)

D-6.

With a stroke of luck, Hera had stumbled across one of the most important pieces of information that they had managed to find in two years. The Round Table would be meeting, the entirety of the members scheduled to be present, in six days’ time. They immediately got into contact with DK headquarters, with executive rushing into organising a sniper group. Many if not most of the DK’s top agents would be recruited for the mission, with the long-time goal of eradicating the Round Table finally becoming a tangible outcome.

The three of them worked tirelessly, developing a round-the-clock roster such that one of them was always hacking and watching for changes to the plans. Hera moved in to stay with Soohyun and Baekhyun to make things easier. Baekhyun took up the sofa as he offered his side of the bed to Hera, to which Soohyun simply nodded her agreement.

D-2.

It was early in the morning, the air still cold as the first rays of sunlight began to shine onto the city of Seoul. Soohyun had risen early, finding it uncomfortable to sleep next to Hera in bed. Though, it had probably been weeks since Soohyun had slept properly, with the racing thoughts in her mind only accelerating and amplifying when she attempted to rest. Baekhyun was sitting at the kitchen bench, steaming cup of black coffee at his side while he scrolled through something on his laptop. His glasses were perched onto his nose bridge, with only a small lamp illuminating his work. Soohyun paused in the hallway, admiring the view that was Baekhyun, her heart catching as she realised she may never see this again, with the imminent success of their assignment with which would bring everything to a conclusion.

“Soohyun?” He started, his voice husky from disuse overnight.

“Hey,” she replied, walking over to join him at the bench.

“Why aren’t you sleeping? There’s still a few hours before you have to get up,” he asked, his voice gentle as he looked up at her.

“Mm… just couldn’t sleep I guess,” she replies, pulling up the stool next to Baekhyun’s. He takes the small blanket adorning his lap, wrapping it around her pyjama-clad figure, before moving his coffee to the bench space in front of her.

“How’s everything going?” She asks, taking the mug of coffee into her hands, watching the steam swirl.

“So-so, nothing much has cropped up since last night,” he replies, stretching his arms before yawning.

“I have a present for you by the way,” she starts.

“A present?” He enquires, eyebrows rising at the sudden suggestion.

“Mm, a thank you present. For putting up with me for two years,” she replies, a small smile on her face. “I’ve left it in your drawer, it’s not much anyway…”

“Thank you Soohyun-ah,” he replies, his gentle gaze still unmoved from her face. “For everything, too.”

***

“Ironic isn’t it? That the boy who tried to save her from drowning, ended up drowning her himself.” – Miriella Marie, “Beauty in the Tragedy”.

D-0.

“Put the gun down Soohyun,” he pleaded, his tone authoritative yet laced with a trace of fear.

“I can’t Baekhyun, you know that,” she replied, her tone cold as he stared straight into his eyes, her gun aimed right to the middle of Hera’s forehead.

“Put it down,” he repeats, the wavering now more evident in his voice.

“She’s one of them Baekhyun,” she cries, her expression a mix of anger and anguish. “She betrayed us, can’t you see that? It’s because of her that half our agents got wiped out back there, I can’t…”

“She isn’t one of them Soo, listen to me,” he interrupts, moving closer to the pair.

“Please Baek, please…” she whimpers from the floor, her wide eyes focused on Baekhyun. “You know me, why would I do such a thing, please Baek…”

“She’s lying!” Soohyun shouts, her arm still unwavering from its aimed position.

“Put the gun down or I shoot,” Baekhyun whispers, as he aims his own gun at Soohyun, his pleading eyes still focused on hers.

“Then do it,” Soohyun challenges, tears welling in her eyes as she continues to stare back at Baekhyun. “It doesn’t matter what happens to me, I can’t let her walk away alive.”

“Soohyun!”

“That was our brief Baekhyun – every single one of the Round Table members must be eliminated.”

“She’s not one of them, please Soohyun just listen to me –“

Baekhyun stops cold as Soohyun pulls the safety catch on her gun, loading the bullet.

“Please Soohyun, please…”

“I’ll count to three, Byun Baekhyun.”

“Please, Soohyun, don’t do this, please –“

“Baekhyun please don’t let her, please do something –“

“One –“

“Soohyun – “

“Two –“

One gunshot.

One scream.

Hera’s.

As she backs away in horror at the sight of the bullet that had just gone through Soohyun’s upper right arm, Soohyun’s writhing figure clutching onto the injured limb.

“Run Hera, come,” Baekhyun pleads as he pulls Hera from her horrified state on the floor, all but carrying her as he breaks into a run towards the exit.

He doesn’t look back, and doesn’t see the small knowing smile on Soohyun’s face as silent tears roll down her face before she blacks out.

Because she had always known that he would protect Hera. Because she knew, a part of Byun Baekhyun had never forgiven himself for forsaking her all those years ago; and that a part of him would always be in love with her.

[candlelitconversations]

:: Gerbera :: 04 ::

:: baekhyun x oc ;; espionage au ;; angstangstangst ::

For a while, things went about their usual way. Monday to Friday would be workdays, with the pair alternating between being chauffeur or chef for the day. Friday and Saturday nights would be spent at social events, as the pair continued to delve further into the circles of those linked to the Round Table. Between that, the pair continued to decipher the extra pieces of information they had on hand, transmitting intelligence back to DK when a particularly important piece of the puzzle had been put together. Any spare moment between that was spent lounging on the sofa, with Baekhyun’s favourite spot still being Soohyun’s lap, and Soohyun’s favourite resting spot for her ice cream still being Baekhyun’s head while it lay in her lap. They never mentioned that day; Soohyun never asked further about Hera, and Baekhyun never mentions the kiss they shared. They carry on with their routine and their assignment as if none of that had happened; yet when Soohyun finds herself entwined in his warm arms in the mornings, she wonders. She wonders how long they can continue to live in this little bubble before something else happens and it all falls apart; she wonders if she’s doing the right thing by letting their relationship continue to be in this grey zone. But she continues nonetheless, because the thought of jeopardising what they have petrifies her, and so she chooses to not think at all.

The first domino fell when Baekhyun brought Hera to their apartment. Not because he had brought her to their home, as it had come to feel for Soohyun. But because he had revealed his true identity to Hera, and with that, Soohyun’s also.

“She can help us Soohyun, trust me,” he pleaded, his whispers rushed as he tried to reason with Soohyun as Hera sat patiently on the sofa mere metres away, the pair’s voices only muffled by the thin door barricading their bedroom from the hallway.

“You just blew our aliases Byun Baekhyun, do you understand what you’ve just done,” she whispered back, her eyes stern before she had to look away, running her hands through her hair in exasperation.

“We can trust Hera, Soohyun, just listen to me, she can help us get intel so much quicker –“

“But you don’t know that Baekhyun, you don’t know what she’s going to do or say once she leaves this apartment –“

“I trust her Soohyun. Please, please just trust me. This once, please?”

And for his sake, Soohyun had reluctantly nodded her agreement, her eyes wary as she traced Hera’s leaving figure that night.

***

Hera proved to be a great help. With the trust that she built over the years, Baekhyun had quickly gathered information that would have taken Soohyun and him months to find. Hera joined them after work and on Sundays, where they sifted through new intelligence that they had found and worked to decipher the hidden networks beneath the glamorous surface of honest multi-corporations. And Soohyun could see, beyond their romantic history, Baekhyun and Hera clicked. They worked well together, their brains seemingly wired in similar ways such that they complemented each other’s thought processes, finishing each other’s thoughts and sentences. It was commendable, their teamwork. Soohyun found herself retiring to bed earlier as she left the pair to continue their work without interruption; using excuses of being exhausted from work and requiring more sleep with the colder months.

***

“Are they your favourite flowers – daisies?”

“Hmm?” She had missed the question, having been too absorbed in perfecting the shadow petal behind the centre gerbera.  

“Daisies – do you like them that much? You’re always painting them.”

“They’re fascinating – to most people, they’re just ordinary flowers that you can get at any florist, flowers that don’t mean much. But if you look closely, no daisy is ever alone – you see how they all have two layers of petals? That’s because very daisy is actually two, the under petals being from a second daisy that surrounds the first.”

Baekhyun stared blankly at Soohyun at first, then back at her painting, processing what she had just said.

“And before you start thinking I’m some crazy teenage girl,” she continued to explain. “I studied botany when I was in France, as part of my first assignment…”

“Happiness,” He interrupted. “That’s what they mean, right? Daisies?”

“Cheerfulness…” she starts.

“Like you,” he smiles.

***

Soohyun hated it. She hated the pangs of jealousy that would find itself to the surface with every passing month of Hera’s intrusion. She hated the progress that the pair had made and how she was becoming less and less useful in their assignment. She worked twice as hard as she had before, pulling longer hours at work and working until early hours of the morning back at their shared apartment, hacking into back systems of various corporations linked with the Round Table. She hated how instead of welcoming the help, she was beginning to feel threatened by Hera. And she hated how she could not differentiate whether that threat felt personal or professional. And the thing she hated most was that Baekhyun had noticed this shift.

“Soohyun-ah, go to bed it’s 3 in the morning,” he mumbled, hair a mess as he rubbed his tired eyes, standing at the door to Soohyun’s studio room. Not that it could even be called that anymore, with the canvases long forgotten and replaced by sheets of written and typed documents.

“I’ve almost gotten through, just go to bed first,” she replied, not looking up from her laptop as she continued typing away.

“I said, it’s time to rest,” he repeated, moving into the room to pull at her arm.

“Leave me alone, Baekhyun!” She pulled back, her voice harsher than she had expected.

“What’s gotten into you these days,” he retaliated, hurt expression painting his face.

“Nothing, I just –“ she mumbled, turning her head away. “Look, I just, I really need this assignment to finish already, it’s been almost two years and I…I want it all to stop,” the words almost jumbling themselves up as she rambled.

“…You need what to stop?” His eyes continued to bore into her side profile as he spoke, incredulous at her outburst.

“What? This?” he motions to their surroundings, and then to the distance between the pair of them. “What do you need to stop?”

“I can’t do this anymore Baekhyun,” she continued, her voice dropping as she buried her head into her hands before looking up at him. “I… I can’t…”

“Look, forget it,” he cut her off, running his hands through his hair as he stormed out of the room. He had been so fed up with how Soohyun had been since Hera had joined their forces. He had thought she’d be better than that, but she had been acting with such defensiveness towards Hera from the get-go without good reason.

As the door closed behind Baekhyun’s retreating figure, Soohyun finds herself struggling to hold back the tears that had already been threatening to spill.

“I can’t keeping pretending, Baekhyun. I’m so sorry,” she whispers to herself.

[candlelitconversations]

03.

Gerbera

:: baekhyun x oc ;; espionage!AU ;; angst/fluff ;; angstyangstangst ::

“If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me.” – WH Auden, “The More Loving One”

As it turns out, heartbreak was to come much closer than Soohyun had anticipated. The air was chilly again, welcoming their second autumn together, with the first red leaves starting to adorn the maple trees of the streets. Soohyun had dinner ready – it was Baekhyun’s birthday and she had prepared a small dinner with a cake for two, complete with his favourite bottle of nebbiolo. As the hours ticked by, and her calls continued to be met with his voicemail, she began to worry and fear. Had they somehow blown their aliases? Had he been taken and held hostage? As she got ready to rush out of the door to try find him herself, gun in purse and overcoat pulled on, he had stumbled back into their apartment, reeking of vodka and utterly inebriated. And as she held him in her arms that night, him crying his heart out as he recalled how he had ran into her again, she felt the first cracks form in her heart.

Hera. He had met her on his first assignment in Italy. He was 22, young and eager to make his place in the world. She, just shy of 21, had somehow landed herself in the middle of his schemes. After that night, Baekhyun did not mention the matter again; avoiding any further questions that Soohyun sent his way. But from what she had made out from his drunken confessions that night, he had succeeded in his assignment at the expense of their relationship, having left her without notice and explanation. He had promised her the moon, and yet had not even been able to send a proper goodbye before disappearing. That was his first lesson as a DK agent: never form true relationships. Because that was the only way he could protect those around him, and he spent every night regretting ever having shown his reciprocation of affection for Hera.

And yet four years down the track, their paths had crossed again. Her being the representative from Italy, sent to Seoul to discuss and work on a deal with the Kim Corporation, represented by Baekhyun. He had feigned indifference, ignorance, as he shook her hand. But he didn’t miss the slight tremble in her hand, nor the way their eyes had locked before she looked away. And that night, all he could remember was those eyes, no amount of alcohol sufficient to take the pain away. As he clutched onto Soohyun’s torso, breaking down into her arms, all he could remember was the way Hera had always smelt of geraniums. Perhaps if he hadn’t been so inebriated and overcome by his own grief, he would realise the dampness of his pillowcase was not accounted for by only his tears. Perhaps he would remember the heartbroken expression that had painted Soohyun’s face as she cried with him, overwhelmed by her inability to take away the pain in his heart.

***

Baekhyun woke to the bright rays of midday sun that following morning, head pounding and eyes swollen, confused momentarily as he found his bed empty. Realising that it was in fact a weekday morning, he darted out of bed, tripping over the blankets and landing with a rather loud thud onto the thankfully carpeted floor. Untangling himself from the material, he realises the sticky note on his bedside table, accompanied by a thermos flask filled with honey camomile tea and a large litre bottle of water.

Tried calling in sick for you this morning, everyone thinks you had too much birthday sex :P

Despite how terrible he was feeling, the note pulled a laugh out of Baekhyun as he downed half the water in one gulp. Pouring the tea into the readied cup on his bedside table, Baekhyun struggled to recall the events of last night. For starters, he had completely forgotten it was even his birthday yesterday until he saw the note. And given how terrible the pounding was in his head, he could only imagine how out of it he would have been the night before, a wave of guilt washing over him. Had Soohyun had to go down to collect him from the wine bar? Had he vomited everywhere in the apartment upon returning last night?

His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden knock on the bedroom door. Startled, Baekhyun all but spilt hot tea onto the blanket, yelping as he turned to see what could possibly have been the source of the noise.

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Baekhyun, happy birthday to you

Hiphip- hurray! Hiphip-hurray! Hiphip-hurray‼! Wooohooooo!

Soohyun sang loudly as she walked into their bedroom with the small tiramisu she had prepared for last night, decorated with seven candles – two on one side, and five on the other, to signify his new age of 25. Bending down slowly, she brought the cake to Baekhyun’s level as he continued sitting amongst the blankets on the floor, his mouth stretched into a grin so wide that Soohyun couldn’t help but reciprocate. His smile always reminded her of the summer sun: warm, radiant, and contagious. It was as if nothing had occurred last night – his face void of any evidence of the pain that had overcome him just hours ago. The nagging part at the back of Soohyun’s mind worried; worried that Baekhyun had become so deft in the art of hiding his emotions that she would not be able to offer any comfort to him even when he needed her most. But what she did not know was that, in that moment, she had filled his heart with such an overwhelming sense of gratitude and warmth that he had momentarily forgotten his pains, and that he had not even realised he was grinning like an idiot at her until she motioned for him to blow out the candles. So instead of making his birthday wish and blowing out his candles, he moved the cake from her hands onto the floor next to them and closed the distance, melding their lips into one.

[candlelitconversations]

03.

Gerbera

:: baekhyun x oc ;; espionage!AU ;; angst/fluff ;; angstyangstangst ::

“If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me.” – WH Auden, “The More Loving One”

As it turns out, heartbreak was to come much closer than Soohyun had anticipated. The air was chilly again, welcoming their second autumn together, with the first red leaves starting to adorn the maple trees of the streets. Soohyun had dinner ready – it was Baekhyun’s birthday and she had prepared a small dinner with a cake for two, complete with his favourite bottle of nebbiolo. As the hours ticked by, and her calls continued to be met with his voicemail, she began to worry and fear. Had they somehow blown their aliases? Had he been taken and held hostage? As she got ready to rush out of the door to try find him herself, gun in purse and overcoat pulled on, he had stumbled back into their apartment, reeking of vodka and utterly inebriated. And as she held him in her arms that night, him crying his heart out as he recalled how he had ran into her again, she felt the first cracks form in her heart.

Hera. He had met her on his first assignment in Italy. He was 22, young and eager to make his place in the world. She, just shy of 21, had somehow landed herself in the middle of his schemes. After that night, Baekhyun did not mention the matter again; avoiding any further questions that Soohyun sent his way. But from what she had made out from his drunken confessions that night, he had succeeded in his assignment at the expense of their relationship, having left her without notice and explanation. He had promised her the moon, and yet had not even been able to send a proper goodbye before disappearing. That was his first lesson as a DK agent: never form true relationships. Because that was the only way he could protect those around him, and he spent every night regretting ever having shown his reciprocation of affection for Hera.

And yet four years down the track, their paths had crossed again. Her being the representative from Italy, sent to Seoul to discuss and work on a deal with the Kim Corporation, represented by Baekhyun. He had feigned indifference, ignorance, as he shook her hand. But he didn’t miss the slight tremble in her hand, nor the way their eyes had locked before she looked away. And that night, all he could remember was those eyes, no amount of alcohol sufficient to take the pain away. As he clutched onto Soohyun’s torso, breaking down into her arms, all he could remember was the way Hera had always smelt of geraniums. Perhaps if he hadn’t been so inebriated and overcome by his own grief, he would realise the dampness of his pillowcase was not accounted for by only his tears. Perhaps he would remember the heartbroken expression that had painted Soohyun’s face as she cried with him, overwhelmed by her inability to take away the pain in his heart.

***

Baekhyun woke to the bright rays of midday sun that following morning, head pounding and eyes swollen, confused momentarily as he found his bed empty. Realising that it was in fact a weekday morning, he darted out of bed, tripping over the blankets and landing with a rather loud thud onto the thankfully carpeted floor. Untangling himself from the material, he realises the sticky note on his bedside table, accompanied by a thermos flask filled with honey camomile tea and a large litre bottle of water.

Tried calling in sick for you this morning, everyone thinks you had too much birthday sex :P

Despite how terrible he was feeling, the note pulled a laugh out of Baekhyun as he downed half the water in one gulp. Pouring the tea into the readied cup on his bedside table, Baekhyun struggled to recall the events of last night. For starters, he had completely forgotten it was even his birthday yesterday until he saw the note. And given how terrible the pounding was in his head, he could only imagine how out of it he would have been the night before, a wave of guilt washing over him. Had Soohyun had to go down to collect him from the wine bar? Had he vomited everywhere in the apartment upon returning last night?

His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden knock on the bedroom door. Startled, Baekhyun all but spilt hot tea onto the blanket, yelping as he turned to see what could possibly have been the source of the noise.

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Baekhyun, happy birthday to you

Hiphip- hurray! Hiphip-hurray! Hiphip-hurray‼! Wooohooooo!

Soohyun sang loudly as she walked into their bedroom with the small tiramisu she had prepared for last night, decorated with seven candles – two on one side, and five on the other, to signify his new age of 25. Bending down slowly, she brought the cake to Baekhyun’s level as he continued sitting amongst the blankets on the floor, his mouth stretched into a grin so wide that Soohyun couldn’t help but reciprocate. His smile always reminded her of the summer sun: warm, radiant, and contagious. It was as if nothing had occurred last night – his face void of any evidence of the pain that had overcome him just hours ago. The nagging part at the back of Soohyun’s mind worried; worried that Baekhyun had become so deft in the art of hiding his emotions that she would not be able to offer any comfort to him even when he needed her most. But what she did not know was that, in that moment, she had filled his heart with such an overwhelming sense of gratitude and warmth that he had momentarily forgotten his pains, and that he had not even realised he was grinning like an idiot at her until she motioned for him to blow out the candles. So instead of making his birthday wish and blowing out his candles, he moved the cake from her hands onto the floor next to them and closed the distance, melding their lips into one.