An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
[id: A digital painting of a sunset seen from the PTMC roof with a railing at the bottom. Written on top is the title, “the end is near.” /end id]
Summary:
The last conversation between Dr. Abbot and Dr. Langdon, heard on the Pittburgh Trauma Medical Center rooftop.
Hiii, I just wanted to say time loops are my all time favourite trope ever so your fic absolutely hit the spot for me, it was genuinely so amazing, and I also love the idea of outsider pov in time loop fics and I’ve always wanted to read one essentially exactly like yours, and the idea of it being more like dimension hopping therefor everyone else goes on after the person looping dies is one of my favourite ways to see a time loop portrayed as opposed to just resetting the day, so I was super excited reading the note before your fic started. Literally everything about it was perfect, it’s quite literally a match made in heaven for me thank you so much for writing it and deciding to share it, I’m above and beyond obsessed!!!
thank you so much anon!!! i’m so happy to hear we synced and share so many of the same favorite tropes ❤️ feel free to send asks my way about time loops anytime, even if not fandom related!! id love to discuss :3
Much of this may be surface level, but still, I'd like to take a second to dissect my thought process behind my art. Keep in mind there will be spoilers.
[id:Â An illustration of Robby, painted in blue hues, zoomed into his eye. He peers off into the upper right corner. Projected from his eye is a red triangle, inside, painted with warm colors is (transfem) Langdon straddling Jack. Langdon faces the viewer but her face is purposely left blank. In the background, the title is handwritten in yellow. /end id]
For the composition, it's actually a little different from how I initially pictured it! Originally, Abbot and Langdon were going to be in a circle, with Robby looking in as if a peephole. The rest of the room was going to be rendered in too, to emphasize the voyeuristic quality, but it got muddied up in the soft brushstrokes. I still do like this triangle though. It's more dynamic to me, and as someone else pointed out to me, it appears as though this is a projection coming from Robby's eye! Less so voyeuristic, but still tapping into another major topic, sexual fantasies.
The colors were interesting to me as well, as it's a pretty strong departure from my usual palette where I use more realistic colors. But I felt this makes more sense, obviously with blue = cold, lonely; red = warm, passionate. But a little less surface level: cold colors recede to the background and warm colors stick out towards the viewer—which ties into the voyeuristic theme of the piece. Additionally, a hint of red is painted around Robby's eye, making him appear more lively, literally and figuratively, as feeding off of their love.
Most importantly though is the juxtaposition of Langdon and Abbot. How she is nude while Abbot is not, given Robby's respective relationships towards the two. Additionally, how she faces Robby, but her face is blank. She seeks him out (ie. telling him about Isaiah), but he doesn't truly see or understand her. Thus, she is nothing an object of lust to him. Contrastingly, Abbot is turned away, he does not seek to tell Robby the truth. Instead, Robby must approach him.
ie. My additional thoughts on the story and universe.
As said in both author notes and my copious comments, the loop is a metaphor for capitalism. That is, the grueling loop of doctors going to the ER day after day, as said in Abbot's bees and hive analogy.
The repetition being an innocuous day rather than, say Pittfest, emphasizes just how meaningless the loop is. Langdon is repeating a day with no objective, there is no stopping Pittfest or any other grand gesture. There is nothing in sight that could possibly be the key to break the loop. Though not explicitly said, Langdon has done everything he possibly could - he's saved and killed patients. But nothing works. It is a completely normal day, something in that is torturous.
Of course, the ER is anything but understimulating, but this brings to mind the "Broken Age with a Therapist" series by DrMick. Essentially, one of the main characters, Shay, experiences something akin to a loop himself. A 14 year old boy living on a spaceship with only his mother's games to entertain him, but she hasn't grappled with the fact that he has grown up; so everyday, he plays games meant for children. What stood out to me though was that DrMick compares this to torture, that the understimulation is depriving him of what he needs. Though this connection is pretty out there, it was in the back of my mind while writing. How the mundane can be torturous.
Another key theme is consequence. Though Langdon does not experience the consequence of his actions, Shen does. Everyone does. He can choose to let patients die or even kill them, yet he won't face the consequences himself. Still, there is collateral. That patient will stay dead in that universe, and Shen being the titular perspective, emphasizes that it does matter. Everything does.
In the grand scheme of things, our actions as a cog in the machine may not seem to account to much, nothing we can really see. But a classic trope in time travel is the butterfly effect, consequences ripple out and effects someone. Also seen in the action of purchasing the tomato in The Good Place, where Michael tells The Judge how that singular action carried so much debt because of how complicated our world is. “You are unwittingly supporting toxic pesticides, exploiting labor, contributing to global warming.” Though these are all negative consequences—in the context of this fic and its themes, I take it neutrally. Our small actions unknowingly can do good as well.
As for sequel talks, I did discuss my thoughts on that possibility in a comment, about how I don't like imagining the loop never ever breaking. But after some consideration, as of now I don't plan on ever continuing. We see the story through Shen and this Shen will never know what happens, so neither should we. To me, it would be antithetical to continue.
Of course, if anyone has any questions/comments/anything at all, I would love to hear them!
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
[id:Â John and Langdon stood on the PTMC rooftop railings. Behind Langdon is branching limbs with bloodied arms, legs and torsos. The title is written on top in serif font. /end id]
Summary:
“Shit. So, what’s even going on exactly?”
“Groundhog’s Day meets Final Destination, I guess.”
All John wanted was a little peace and quiet, but instead of that, he found Langdon on the roof with a lot of strange things to say.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
[id:Â An illustration of Robby, painted in blue hues, zoomed into his eye. He peers off into the upper right corner. Projected from his eye is a red triangle, inside, painted with warm colors is (transfem) Langdon straddling Jack. Langdon faces the viewer but her face is purposely left blank. In the background, the title is handwritten in yellow. /end id]
Summary:
Robby could never mind his own damn business.
It came with the occupation, afterall, being a doctor required the deepest form of intimacy. Needling inside people’s bodies with wires and pliers, fingers and scalpels and longwinded diagnoses. That kind of trust was not given freely. He had to be grateful for it, even with all that was thrown at him.
So, forgive him if he pried a little too deeply into his loved one’s lives, because it was better than his fingers in their chest cavity, their body limp on his gurney. Better than cardiac failure or kidney ruptures or gaping, bleeding wounds that would cake beneath his fingernails despite how many times he washed and rewashed and sanitized his hands.
That’s all to say, maybe he should have minded his business instead of eavesdropping on Jack’s quiet phone call on PTMC’s rooftop like a voyeur.
But Robby cared, he cared deeply. Was that really so bad?
OR: Jack and Langdon are together, Robby is not normal about it.
origamiaround
dailybridgerton
discoholicmusic
jbbartram-illu
jacobvanloon