Bonk

He/they

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[stimman4000]

.

[cipheramnesia]

good luggage goes in the fun bubble

[floweramon]

When I was in college, my Stage Craft teacher showed us this.  Basically the machine heats up a sheet of plastic, and once it’s malleable enough it’ll be blown up to make room for whatever you want to imprint in the plastic.  Once it’s in place, the air reverses and the plastic vacuum-sucks all around the object.  

He demonstrated it on a baby doll and it was like a baby had been frozen in carbonite.  I got to take it home and I still have frozen-carbonite-baby to this day (his name is Franklin XD)

[reximus44]

[galsinspace]

The baby has been posted here

[partywithponies]

My woke take, as someone who has worked in both a public library and a school library, is that we desperately need both more books that are at a higher reading level but a less mature subject matter, and more books that are at a lower reading level but a more mature subject matter, because 8 year olds who are advanced readers are still 8 year olds and don't want to read about graphic violence and torture, and teens and adults who have learning difficulties or who are just later readers for whatever reason are still teens and adults and don't want to read about Billy the Bunny going to school or whatever the hell.

[the-muppet-joker]

Im the most evilest pervert in the world, or at least in ohio

[easterndaylighttime]

if I just had the presence of mind and the wherewithal and the chutzpah and the bandwidth and the executive function and the energy and the mental resources and the spoons and the right attitude and the capacity and the gumption and th

[polutropos-puppyboy]

i have for a while been using stepping on somebody's toes as a metaphor for misgendering. and i genuinely think that it's kind of a good one.

[polutropos-puppyboy]

if you keep stepping on somebody's toes for a long time at minimum they're probably going to start really hating you and at maximum you might cause them lasting damage.

if you do it on purpose you're a dick. if it's on accident but you keep doing it that person is still going to be mad at you because you don't care enough to try not to step on their toes

[polutropos-puppyboy]

if you give a grovelling begging apology after accidentally stepping on somebody's toes one time you're going to make the whole thing awkward, but not giving a quick "sorry" before moving on is still kind of rude.

[fidelcostco]

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do

[mushroom-soup-is-my-religion]

[peanut-and-butter]

Campus bus system why am I arriving to class an half an hour early? You run a line that goes about 2 miles. There are 2 of you.

[were--ralph]

the problem with tumblr spells is all of you lil sluts are casting and not giving it time to charge so you're all casting cantrips and not 9th level death spells. everyone wants to be the one to take them down no one wants to be the one who assists

[were--ralph]

we're going to try again witha little but minimal casting

IT will happen in August of 2026. like to charge and reblog to cast but cast sparingly

[were--ralph]

Wait stop. everyone +like now and spread it a little but cast on the same day in August. lets try August 6th or something.

[were--ralph]

CAST NOW

[dragon-in-a-fez]

personally I'm annoyed by the socioeconomic conditions that made words like "unalive" necessary but simultaneously impressed by the linguistic adaptations young people have made to continue talking about important things while subject to those conditions and I think if you can't hold both of those thoughts in your head you might just be old man yelling at cloud

[weaseltotheface]

Everybody say "thank you south america" for the humble potato

[weaseltotheface]

Actually let's get specific with it

*checks wiki*

Everybody say thank you indigenous people of present-day southern Peru and extreme northwestern Bolivia from 7-10,000 years ago for the humble potato

[lostxanadu]

the thing about being bullied for being weird as a kid is that even if you've always embraced being weird your brain is still always looking for the line where it's too much. you can be as proudly and intentionally weird as you want and you can love being weird but your mind is still convinced there's a point where you get too weird and people start treating you like a weird looking bug again. also it feels like you reach that point 500 times a day even if everyone you've spoken to today found you pleasant and likable and even if you're completely alone in your house with nobody looking at you at all.

[throatoftheworld]

Asphyxiate by Michelle Avery Konczyk, 2017

[redstonedust]

i think its fun when people use the trope of vampires thinking that werewolves smell like shit but its especially funny to me when they say a werewolf smells like 'wet dog' . like specifically WET dog? not dry dog? something about werewolves makes them smell damper than any normal dog even if theyre dry as a bone? fascinating implications. wet werewolf vs creepy vampire. much to consider.

[feminist-space]

[johanna-swann]

[everydayconman]

The ancient texts were true… They DO have a reaction image for everything…

[segamascott]

[etiennelux]

the ideal chai latte is one of the most amazing things on this earth. it’s a shame that most cafes think they have to serve either a cup of grit or milk that they whispered the names of spices to

[mawmenny]