The fabulous Grandma Volundir!

[kylos]

—Constance Langdon ☕️

[codemonkey-itazuramono]

@luxelen

[pearl-volundir]

(( haha totally!  thank you for sharking, Ita! xoxoxo))

[jameskirked]

[americxanhorrorstory]

[alissabryliss-fairfax]

@luxelen it’s grandma volundir! 

[pearl-volundir]

“Daaaaaaaaahlings!”

[yourstrulys]

The Devil Wears Prada Dir. David Frankel (2006)

[gif-weenus]

zing

[bries-alts]

( @blanchevanderbilt @luxelen the old lady sass club!) 

[rebelleluxe]

Daphne Groeneveld for Dior

[pearl-volundir]

“For Balthazar’s sake, Blanche, control your niece!  I see Ebonhawke and I see Far Shiverpeaks!  Outrageous!    Are you getting a look at this depravity?”  She asks the rest of the Golden Gossip Girls.

Somewhere in the background, one of the Volundir grandchildren probably tried to tell grandma it’s not cool to invoke Balthazar’s name anymore...

(( @felicityvanderbilt @blanchevanderbilt @jmariegw2ooc and all the other old ladies I forget things!))

[pearl-volundir]

When the random stray walks in, asking for a certain gal named Felicity, the Volundir matron simply appraises the scoundrel with one of her scrutinizing, judgmental looks.

“No one by that name resides in this very prestigious household.  You have the wrong address.”

“But what about a...a...I forget her first name, but surname Larkspur?”

And that’s when Pearl loses her marbles.

“Get out of here!”

“This isn’t a cesspool of decadence and depravity! Try the Vanderfilth’s manor!  I hope you trip on the Larkslut estate on the way and catch the herpes!”

((because I had to.  @mesphia @jmariegw2ooc @elessar-volundir @agent-bennich ))

[bob-belcher]

im lucille

[pearl-volundir]

When Grandma Pearl stays at @elessar-volundir ‘s place.

[blanchevanderbilt]

Blanche, You've always been a hussy and I can't believe a paper would publish any of your tawdry rubbish. You should do the Reach a favor and stop publishing. Delores Larkspur

Delores,

Have you never heard that one should not throw stones in glass manors? Say what you like about me, at least my children aren’t famous for being promiscuous like your relatives are. I know you’re still jealous that I snagged Lord Aquitaine before you had a chance. A pity really, perhaps if you came from a more respectable family he would have considered you…

Do choke on a cucumber,

[ladyjanestuart]

“I would say it’s like watching a slow-moving carriage wreck, but, rather…” the snow-haired Leveque grandmatron said, swirling her fingers in the air, searching for the correct phrase. 

“But rather the wreck has already happened, both carriages have already lost their figure, and their hair has since gone grey. And every so often you walk past that same street corner where it happened, and are reminded of how awful it was.”

[pearl-volundir]

“Those two again?  Oh, they’ve been at it since before the Searing.  And I -am younger than them, for the record.  Anyway I don’t bother reading Blanche’s nonsense.  I’m not a gossip.”

She says, as she hides a stack of Divinity’s Dirt under a crochet pillow along with every single Ask Blanche article ever written.

[georgetakei]

Wink, wink.

Source: IFLT

[marsden-volundir]

Marsden began writing the letter, though only after a few requests from Elle of course. He sat in front of the fire-place, scribbling absently on the paper. He wrote a few, but they all said the same. He was excited for the future, but this letter, he was not. Who knows what old Volundir’ would arise from the woodwork. A wedding was an opportunity for free booze, and a Volundir, never misses free booze.

Dear Volundir My time has come… Rather ominous beginning admittedly, but I always was one for showmanship. It is no doubt well-known among you all my plight & sickness in the Reach. I am writing, not only to tell you that this chapter, is over.

I’m writing to tell you all, that I, am … getting married. An interesting turn of events but certainly the correct one, I’m sure.  To one Elle of Aquitane, I did rather always have a thing for red-heads. Pardon, inappropriate! But yes, marriage is on the horizon. So on so-forth.

Sincerely, Regards, With Love, From Marsden Volundir

The letters were sent to the individual addresses and the settlement respectively. Whomever could be reached, was… Any and all Volundir were informed. Wedding bells were ringing for Marsden ‘Commitment Issue’s’ Volundir.

(( @elessar-volundir @braxisvolundir @josievolundir @sayomivolundir @micklov ))

[josievolundir]

Josie looked over the letter, mixed feelings swirling through her. His letter seemed rather happy, not like the usual dismal type she would get from him every once and awhile. Married. First Elessar, now Marsden. Elijah was gods knew where… they were going to start closing in on her and Eldwyn again, she could feel it.

Marsden,

You’re horrible and I hate you. She better make you happy or I’ll make both your lives living hells. Take as long as you like and distract everyone from me and I might be willing to keep Grandmother away from you during the ceremony.

Much affection, Jojo

[pearl-volundir]

The elder Volundir grandmother rolled her eyes as she sipped her martini, tsking at Josie.

“I give them two months at most, Josephine.  Soon enough she’ll get fat and he’ll start wandering, he’s a Volundir.  I know this, I married one.  But good on you, Josephine.   You won’t have to marry a Volundir.   How are your prospects anyway?  You’re getting old.  Am I going to have to start arranging dates with the grandsons of my bridge club friends?  Or are you a homo?  Lady Gertrude’s daughter is a homo, and the Fitzgeralds have three farms.  She’s the heir, you know.”

[marsden-volundir]

Nausea

Marsden Volundir collapsed in the early hours of the evening in the Maiden’s Whisper in Rurikton, most reports say the man had been drinking there all morning and suffered a bout of nausea.

After some complaint, he set off to leave only to collapse unconscious. It is reported he was unresponsive for a few hours and some would even be so bold as to suggest liver failure!

He is said to be at the Salma infirmary undergoing undisclosed treatment.

“Well at least I made the news.” He nodded sagely, folding the newspaper and letting out a sigh as he folded his newspaper. Chatting idly to one of the nurses who wanted none of his shenanigans.

“No… visitors?” He inquired, with his arms crossed as he leaned back. His gaze looking at his IV. It had been a rough night, an unsedated stomach pump. He let out a groan at the silence.

Running a digit along the silk pajamas he sent for. He glanced over to the nurse with a furrowed brow. “When I’m out of here, how about you and me grab a drink?” It seemed an honest plea.

The nurse seemed slightly amused for a moment before knitting his brows. “Mister… - … Lord Volundir, once you get out of here I can assure you, you won’t be grabbing a drink with -anyone-.” He laid back in defeat and glared up at the ceiling. Not a hip-flask to distract him, not a gin to pass the time. Just him, his thoughts and an IV.

How very miserable.

[susievanderbilt]

If only he knew, he might have been a bit more content with being alone.

Susie read the paper with dismay and quickly gathered her things. So much for staying away, it felt like she had barely left the city but this was an emergency. She quickly told Anne to cover for her, Puh-pa would not have allowed this, and took off.

She had a goodie basket put together, gathering several treats and some alcoholic flavored cake, though she made sure there wasn’t any alcohol actually in it. It probably wouldn’t taste as good but she hoped he’s at least appreciate the gesture.

Gathering the basked up into her arms, Susie handed over the coin and hurried on her way to the hospital to visit her friend.

[owlet-nora]

A very stern looking young woman with short tomato red hair and a barrage of tattoos stood in front of her with a unyielding flat expression. “I apologize for the inconvenience, my Lady, but Mister Volundir is not permitted visitors as requested by his family. How ever, I will deliver your gift to him provided you have not snuck any contraband in it.” She offered a small, somewhat forced smile to the noblewoman.

[luxelen]

Meanwhile, at the Volundir estate, the butler finishes reading the report to a very irritated Lady Pearl Volundir.  Sipping on her mid-morning cocktail, the aged noblewoman rolls her eyes. “Liver damage?  Please.   He’s a Volundir.  I have it on good authority our livers regenerate three times faster than the average human population.”

“Someone’s trying to sensationalize his dizzy spell into something bigger than it is.  And if I know my grandson, he probably caught a bug after a night of whoring.  I suppose I should pay him a visit after my card game this afternoon. Do pencil him into my schedule.”

[its-arrested-development]

[nuggetsrus]

my life

[whatshouldwecallme]

When my mom says she needs help with a few things

[1itt13secret]

I’m not like other girls!XD

I only have guy friends. I mean all girls do is start drama.

Oh my god, i hate sluts! 

Other girls my age like to drink and party but i like to stay inside and read or watch netflix! I’m so weird. 

All the girls in my school care about is makeup and shopping and all i care about is FOOD and VIDEO GAMES. lol sometimes i think i was born a guy.

[loki-cat2]

[alissabryliss-fairfax]

@luxelen grandma pearl!

[its-arrested-development]

[pearl-volundir]

((But replace Michael with @elessar-volundir ))