IWTVL S3 Ep1 Musings - The Rewrite (Spoilers) Pt1
I'll be compiling everything Lestat says is a lie in the "Du Lac-Molloy book"--inc. the monologue/rant he made about Louis' "misremembered cobwebs and f*****g bullst" in Big Bad Wolf:
1) Wolverine Blues
2) Claudia's pleated skirt
3) Harlequin, not Lelio
1) The Wolverine Blues
LOUIS ALREADY SAID HE MIGHT'VE BEEN MISTAKEN ABOUT THAT.
And THANK GOD Louis was wrong! 😭🙌 Cuz I'll be darned if AMC Forrest-Gumped a French White ghostwriting music for the godfather of jazz, eff outta here! 🤣
2) Claudia's Pleated Skirt
"A week-old rotten meat shade of chartreuse, not off-white"
I'm fine with Louis misremembering the color. My bigger question is: who's POV was Tuan Pham's projections? 🤔
3) Harlequin, not Lelio
Yeah, we already knew this was Armand's fanfiction.
Now, onto the episode itself.
"Mr. Du Lac's B-movie brute...a mayonnaise villain with sociopathic tendencies."
TOUR BUS
4) Stuttering Stanley
5) 1x6 Train Scene
6) Don Pasquale (1800s)
4) Stuttering Stanley
Daniel repeats this question A LOT, making it the "Did You Eat The Baby????" of the episode.
Lestat deflects with the classic "Was he there???" clapback, as if that's a NO; but if the trailers are any indication, he DID stutter as a child and even got mocked ruthlessly by his brothers for it. And one of the reviewers already spoiled that his stutter lasted from 9 - 29yo.
So it IS true that Lestat stuttered as a child, even though he's tryna make it seem like Louis LIED on him about it, wtf??? Do NOT PMO Lestat. Esp. since WE never saw Louis breathe a word to Daniel about Lestat being a stutterer--as a kid or an adult. That NEVER came up.
So IDKWTF AMC's doing having Daniel ask this out of the blue and pin it on LOUIS; and WTF Lestat's doing tryna deny he stuttered when we already know he did. 🙄
5) 1x6 Train Scene
LOUIS never said Lestat threatened Claudia--CLAUDIA said Lestat did. And she NEVER said Lestat threatened her with RAPE, she said he MOCKED her rape, and threatened to do WORSE than "defile her pocketbook....I'll turn your BONES TO DUST." She said he threatened to KILL her.
Lestat is literally deflecting an accusation by making up a brand new accusation that wasn't even levied against him to begin with! 🤣 OF COURSE the answer to his question is NO--cuz that's NOT what she said! So now Lestat'sgaslighting TF outta Daniel by lying on Claudia lying about him!? 🤦♂️
And the big question the fandom has anyway is whether the train scene happened at all--not about the specific threat. So until her ghost rises from the grave to admit that she lied, I'll take her diary's word for it that Lestat threatened her. (And even if she did lie, I already said IDGAF, cuz Lestat was terrible enough to her b4 and after the train to warrant her wanting him dead. 🤷♂️)
6) Don Pasquale (1800s)
OKAY, THIS is the tea I've been wanting! Cuz it's not just Don Pasquale, it's E V E R Y T H I N G Lestat said he did in the 1800s, that made no sense.
Like I've said before (x x x), this would mean Lestat told the truth during the Trial that he was asleep until 1908, which would mean that he met Marius & drank from Akasha only 2yrs before he met Louis in 1910.
What I find HARD AF to believe is that this means LOUIS lied/misremembered every single time he said Lestat made references to 1800s Paris--both to him AND to Claudia. Again: Lestat's argument is that Louis' lies all make him look like a B-movie monster. But not every 1800 reference made Lestat look like a monster actually. 🤨
The ONLY two totally monstrous portrayals about Lestat in 1800s Paris are when he's torturing the Tenor in 1x2, and mocking Claudia's chess moves in 1x6.
When Lestat tells Louis about Don Pasquale, he planned a romantic date for them (as he steamrolls over Louis crying about wanting children). When he's at the poker table talking about Bon Marche, he's simultaneously flirting with Louis & using the Mind/Time Gift to convince Louis he's not a white racist and wants to help Louis--the main thing that caught Louis' interest in him! When he's bragging about meeting Viktor Hugo, that's from CLAUDIA'S diaries as she overheard her dads chatting.
They BOTH agree that Lestat told them BOTH about his time in Paris. Oh, so they're BOTH lying about him doing the same thing over & over again, decades apart?
Louis said Lestat talked about meeting Don Pasquale TWICE: to HIM, and to the Tenor. We know from the trailers that the Tenor's being revisited in his purpleshirt!hallucination; so I already doubt that will be a reliable ghost talking to Lestat about anything.
So while I can accept Lestat being asleep for 100yrs, I DO NOT accept that he never lied to Louis & Claudia about his time in the 1800s. They are WAY too consistent that he DID tell them he was awake in the 1800s, and most of the time they say he told them something, it was NOT to make him look like a monster. An romantic show-off at best, and a condescending AF mean ahole at worst.
BATHROOM
7) Shorter Hair
8) Monogrammed Handkerchief
9) Vamp Urination
10) Vamp Sex
7) Shorter Hair
I HATE that AMC is tryna use a PRODUCTION issue as a MEMORY issue. I KNEW they were gonna use Memory is a Monster as a crutch for their abundant writing errors. They know good and effing well that SAM said ROLIN wanted Lestat's hair short, and that SAM insisted on tryna grow it out since he felt Lestat SHOULD have long hair.
Now they're tryna front like Lestat's garbage hair in S1 was Louis' fault for not saying Lestat had super long hair past his shoulders IN 1910 WHEN NO CIVILIZED MAN WOULD BE CAUGHT DEAD WITH HAIR THAT LONG UNLESS HE WAS A PIONEER CATCHING DYSENTERY ON THE OREGON TRAIL, OR UNLESS HE WAS A GAY MAN IN THE PRISON CELLS NEXT TO OSCAR EFFING WILDE!
We're not stupid, Rolin, but either LESTAT is, or y'all think WE are.
8) Monogrammed Handkerchief
The fandom already reached the conclusion YEARS ago that Louis just imagined that as something he's WANT Lestat to have done, and gave the fantasy to DreamStat--same way he had DreamStat eating photographs, DUH. He imagined Lestat as ROMANTIC & SWEET & NICE, the way he was at the very beginning of their courtship; and created DreamStat to give him the companion he was so desperately missing. DUH.
But thank you, Lestat, for confirming that you DO know Louis had a DreamStat in Europe. Too bad he's clearly too effing dense to realize that DreamStat's a giant love confession Louis making. 🤦♂️
And Lestat KNEW he was being incredibly uncharitable to Louis with that one--the NERVE calling Louis "an insane person," when LESTAT is one of the main a-holes who who drove him crazy in the first place! As if Lestat of all people is the paragon of mental stability his daggone self?! 😬 So sure, Lestat wanted that insult struck from the record--but ofc The Auction is selling EVERYTHING of his.
9) Vamp Urination
Lestat uses the reveal that vampires can pee (not often, but for a VERY long time when they do) as a gotcha! that Louis' a liar. But why TF would Louis mention his frikkin piss to ANYONE? 🤨
I think this is demonstrates an important personality distinction between Lestat & Louis. Because we already know Lestat was raised in a effing MEDIEVAL BARN with no home training and no effing CLASS or COUTH. Meanwhile Louis was raised in elite genteel society as a Southern Gentleman. So NO DUH he's not gonna talk about how much he pees or not! 🤢 It's gross!
10) Vamp Sex
This is where I realized that Lestat truly does have stale baguettes for a brain.
TO LOUIS, YES, HE WAS UNHAPPY WITH YOU & ARMAND--"PAIN AND TOXICITY"! SO SEX WITH YOU BECAME TORTURE AS HE DISASSOCIATED AFTER HE CAUGHT YOU STILL CHEATING ON HIM WITH ANTOINETTE; AND SEX WITH ARMAND WAS TRANSACTIONAL TO PROTECT CLAUDIA. JUST HOW DUMB ARE YOU, LESTAT? 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
Louis said sex with YYYYYOOOOOOUUUUUUU was HIS rings of Saturn captstone--esp. since HE HATED KILLING, STUPID! For Lestat killing & draining & Little Drinks are his Top 3, and sex is #4, but Louis didn't like ANY of that--he WANTED 🌈 transcendent gay sex 🌈 but his rat diet inevitably made his libido LOW, unlike you, SEX ADDICT. 🙄
And I BEEN said that Loiuis' vodka bottle IS Lestat. Cuz he died an alcoholic, and LESTAT became his addiction--until he started ABSTAINING, and DID go celibate when his depression took over.
JFC, Lestat is making me want to slit his throat my dang self.
