PenguinBreast

I post things that make me laugh

[jakemorph]

“holy grail” is short for “holy grind rail,” a technique jesus used to get around jerusalem quickly

[maliketh]

jesus being a carpenter is actually a common misinterpretation of the text! he shredded a different kind of board

[penguinbreast]

Do you go to college

Yes sir

[penguinbreast]

I hope you've been doing better ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Much better!! :))) 💛💛💛

[penguinbreast]

I’m so fucking sad what’s the deal here

[penguinbreast]

You're honestly so amazing

Honestly I’ve been so sad today but this made me feel a lot better, thank you so much you have no idea how much I appreciate it ❤️❤️❤️

[maxknightley]

mr. gorbachev, tear up this dancefloor

[dulect]

white girl in any movie: my dad said to only use this credit card for emergencies

white girl in any movie: and this is an emergency *opens doors to mall*

[thaibrator]

ok im done talking about lady gaga………….for now…………..

[6937529469274696869-deactivated]

me while my best friend gives birth

[pussysestra]

great opportunity to sing born this way

[sa2ha]

me: i reject materialism. Im literally not buying anything ever again as it cannot make me happy. what i own should not define me

a tshirt with like idk a tiny strawberry on it: 🍓 :)

me: well i absolutely must have this or i will literally die in agony.

[xnzjdkemzjsndfznfjfk]

when people explain things to me i see red. if i wanted to understand iw ould have understood. leave me alone .

[emolove-inactive]

Me: *waking up in the morning because i got work*

the funeral director embalming me:

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

just found out today that moths can make their genitals vibrate to throw off a bat’s sonar

[venacavo]

we can too you’re just not skilled yet

[pileofknives]

Me helicoptering my dick so the cops can’t triangulate my cellphone signal

[theshittyfoodblog]

I went camping but forgot to bring a shot glass Make sure to follow me on Instagram @theshittyfoodblog: https://ift.tt/2EjfqL4

[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

That’s the second worst reason anyone would carve a hole in a block of spam

[fakehistory]

Egyptian farmers in 3100 BC after figuring out how to divert water from the nile river to water their crops

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

lgdkdjsjdhasgkdgdss

[pluckybroad]

fences in minecraft when you try placing them on a slab

[catchymemes]