wobnledog

The jonkler

[weltenwellen]

Ilya Kaminsky, from "While the Child Sleeps, Sonya Undresses", Deaf Republic

[mythicalpuss]

[penisgeorge]

i think "authors barely disguised kink" is AWESOME actually especially when theyre trying really hard to hide it because come on. ALIEN fanfic where the author hasnt quite realized theyre into oviposition yet may be one of the funniest things ever concieved of.

[homunculus-argument]

"ohh my god you can't just-"

Am I yours to command? Does the collar 'round my neck have your name on it? I kneel to no king nor god, and I see no crown on you.

[penisgeorge]

you wear a collar

[homunculus-argument]

I may choose to kneel recreationally.

[penisgeorge]

men moaning and being reduced to wet squirming pathetic messes is the hottest hting ever actually. why not women too? because for men its a subversion, at leats of cultural perception of men in sexual encounters, theyre supposed ot be the one on top right?? theyre supposed to make the woman moan. get me a man that moans and a woman that wants me genuinely dead

[penisgeorge]

and maybe make him moan or something. i dont know. i dont know

[penisgeorge]

"ahhh youre acting like a child throwing a tantrum" yeah IN MY OWN HOUSE. you came in MY HOUSE while i was having ON-PURPOSE ISOLATION so no one else would be BOTHERED by my BULLSHIT then got MAD when you were BOTHERED BY MY BULLSHIT. jeez

[homunculus-argument]

I am no nutrition expert but I do have a pretty damn good track record of keeping myself alive, so I want to remind you all that "fed is best" also applies to adults. There's nothing you could eat (that has been deemed fit for human consumption, I don't mean asbestos you smartass) that would be worse for you than just straight-up not eating. No food is as bad as no food.

A protein bar isn't the best possible source of protein in your diet, but it's better than not getting that protein. Fresh fruits would be better than orange juice, but if your choices are between having the orange juice and not getting the vitamins at all, you drink the fucking orange juice.

If you were out at winter while barefoot, and your options were between wrapping random newspaper around your feet, or not having anything to protect your feet, you wouldn't think "newspapers are a worse option than proper shoes, therefore I shouldn't take this worse option" and go barefoot.

[questcult]

Cannibalism /j

[homunculus-argument]

Well, technically speaking the answer is still yes. People who resort to cannibalism and eat other people in famine will live longer than people who simply starve to death.

[devilbreaddiablo]

i mean drinking salt water will dehydrate you

[penisgeorge]

thats why salt water is a detrimental option dipshit

[raccoonmilf]

Due to wardrobe requirements (and the fact that I pretty much refuse to wear pants unless it is “cold enough” whatever that means), I tend to dress ultra modestly while at work. Think respectable cardigans over collared shirts and ankle length skirts. Anyway, this has become a problem because fundamentalists of various sects tend to think I’m “one of them” and am “straying”. Here are the two most bizarre ways this has played out:

1) I was in the Walmart in my long khaki skirt, my jacket, and my hair braided back. I was admiring a pair of hot pink glitter cargo pants when an older woman came up to me. She was wearing the same skirt and the same braid. She looked at the pants then back at me and told me “The lord loves you, please, do not stray for him,” and then gave me $20 in cash to “use to honor the lord.” I bought $20 worth of grapes and apples to feed the raccoons

2: Mennonite men lowering their weird wraparound sunglasses to check me out. This does not happen to any of my coworkers. I’ve got many complements from them about the tattoos on my wrist and ankle.

[anukfilli]

i was trying to make a meme but i fucked up the audio layering and

[kira-serialfaggot]

Listening to happy music to get through the disassociative episode

[penisgeorge]

why is all the Forcefem about being in pretty dresses and not about the body horror of growing double D’s

[bee-sona]

Anyway POMNI is an NPC and the Chinese theme is in reference to her not Caine

[tidiestpegasus]

i've been in too deep into the mines and fear i either struck jack shit or pure gold

edit: really good fucked up follow up

[moggiepillar]

Oh and I want to fight all the Gen Z kids who are like ‘teehee, we’ll just do lavender marriages instead!’ Some of us are adults who want equal rights and protections under the law of our land.

[myfootyrthroat]

Yeah, we wanted legal marriages because your spouse's horrid family could show up, get you kicked out of the hospital, steal all of their stuff, and there was nothing you could do about it.

[moggiepillar]

When my wife went in for surgery before we got married, it was me and her horrifically homophobic mother in the surgery center waiting room and I knew without a doubt that if anything went wrong, I would be expected to leave without any access to her belongings, the pictures of us on her phone, or the funeral itself, and the obituary would not mention me or our relationship at all.

And that was after almost a decade of marriage equality! The fear and anxiety leading up to that surgery and the recovery process after reinforced for me just how important marriage can be. It’s a form of self-determination.

[madamtrashbat]

Lest we forget

(Image of Electric Fan (Feel It Motherfuckers) by John Boskovich)

[adandelioninspring]

[fictionadventurer]

The very best thing about The Phantom of the Opera is that it shows us a possibly supernatural occurrence, then gives us a natural explanation that is infinitely crazier than the supernatural one would have been.

What if there was a ghost in the opera house that was killing people?

Requires you to accept the existence of ghosts, but otherwise is a straightforward story.

What if the chief contractor who built the opera house was a deformed circus freak who used his experience building palaces and torture chambers for sultans to keep building secret passageways and torture chambers in the basement when construction halted during the Franco-Prussian War, and then kept living down there working on an opera and killing and blackmailing people who crossed him and also training a pretty opera singer that he wants to marry?

There is nothing in the world that could have prepared me to expect even half of that.

[passion-of-l0vers]

who wants to hear my prediction of how i die in the wild west

[confusedrolena]

I’m listening

[passion-of-l0vers]

thank you

okay. so first i go to a bar. the ones with the swingy doors. cause its the wild west and you gotta. and then i get like so fucking drunk. like so drunk with all their spicy drinks you know? and then i find a person in there who is also drumk and we talk. hopefully theyre druck enough to have no common sense like me. okay. theyre a coyboy. and were like “yo wount it be dope if we could shoot at each other and also hit the bullets in midair so none of us die?!” and were both like “fuck yeah lets do it” and the rest of the beple in the bar are like “hehehe couboy shoot off this is gonna be good” so we go outside and its dust cause the wild wild west and were coyboys on the end of the dust street and we walk and were all like “draw!” and then we try to do it but were both terrible fucking shots so we like completely miss each other completely but were so fucking drunk that we think we collided and stopped hte bullets so we cheer and its beautiful and we ride into the sunset and theres a lot of homoromantic subtext in our future and its beautoful and this was originally gonna be about how im so dumb that id try to collide bullets but then i fell in love with this fictional coubou and i dont want them to die so heres my new story

[confusedrolena]

A truly moving story

[passion-of-l0vers]

thank you do you want to know my prediction on how i die in anciet rome?

[confusedrolena]

Sure let’s hear it

[passion-of-l0vers]

volcaneo

[unyieldingsilence]

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[tiedsoftspoken]

saw this on twitter and i instantly went “tenna”