Actually, I wanted to say how I am getting better. Then realized I had to tell the story of my solitary time. 2018 was the most crucial moment of my life. Broken, back-stabbed, fooled and many more in the list. I was puzzled. Didn't know what to do, whom to trust, whom to share my feelings. Then I made a bubble and wrapped around myself. I was happy, secured, better in my bubble. Scared of people. After classes, I ran as quickly as I could from the room and took a seat where I could take some breath. Lighted a cigarette up and smoked. I am not saying it was the best idea to do but I made myself calm. People didn't come to me, neither did I go to them. I found myself in insecurity. Someone told me to make myself busy. So I did. Started writing, making blogs, passing time in insta. But I was not happy at all. I needed something to be pushed. I wanted to feel safe. One day while surfing in the net, I found an anime series called 'Kuroko no Basuke'. I am not a basketball player but I really like the game. It needs power, stamina, height, agility and lots of things. I wanted to download the whole series. And I finished it within 3 days! I finally felt myself relieved and noted down some points which I really like to share today. (I think I had to make this blog a long time ago but... well, it's better late than never. isn't it?)
1. Sometimes it's good to be pushed back. We think of ourselves the best. It is not abnormal or unnatural. People tend to believe that they are better than rest of the world. But that thought gets broken when they meet someone stronger, sharper and agile. They start to believe nah! someone better is way up there and to meet him, I have to climb there also by the dint of my work. 2. Here is a favorite quote of mine. "I never believe that people are bad" Either they are out of the league or lost themselves for a while. A chance, A push or a trigger can make themselves back in the game. It's all about the belief that lurk beneath their heart. It has to be pushed. 3. We all crave for a Kagame-Kuroko duo inside. The battle between light and shadow is not unknown. From the time being, it is observed. But when light is brighter for shadow, the power is unmatched. It overshadows everything that exist to make anything bad. 4. Losing a battle is always unsatisfactory but losing the war is long-life trauma. We lose a battle. Lose the hope. Never try to understand that life is not about winning a battle. It's about how you did survive all the war, conquer your enemy and stand still. 5. It's okay to be betrayed, it's okay to have an enemy whom you once called your friend. But the trust inside you makes you feel stronger than before. You can trust the new people, the new environment, new journey. Again, you can be betrayed, can be fooled. But you have to stay on the track. The walk is all yours. Nobody is going to walk the track for you. You are not going to walk the track for anybody. At the end of the day, we are all for ourselves. I am learning to make strong my inner self, analyzing the all possible data that make me stumble through the path. I am better now is not the sentence for me. I would rather say I am cleaning my mess and trying to be better day by day. 6. Family is important. They are the hope that gives a light in your hand when you walk the journey. They are always there. It's not their duty to fight the battle for you. You have to fight the fight. They just there when something is wrong and they pat on your shoulder. "It's okay boy! Try harder next time" 7. It's really important to challenge yourself. What your potential is, what you can do. Have you ever challenged it? (here You means I. I am questioning myself through the writing and yep, I kinda enjoy it) Most of us are dreaming about the place where we can find ourselves easy, comfortable. But life is not comfortable. It is an ongoing war. You can just make a pause, take a break. But after a while, you have to give the best for upcoming situation.
Losing is never the end. It's just a hint of new beginning. You have to analyze the mistakes that were done before and take the leap again. Gotta trust your gut. People won't clap for you all the day long. You are successful, They are their for you. You are a failure, They are just the viewers. Judge the whole battle from a spectators viewpoint. And it's not unnatural. You know that. You were judged, you are judged, you will be judged. But ask yourself. Have you ever stopped believing yourself or stopped the walk for people? nah! not a chance. You fought like a warrior. Winning or losing, always wear a smile. Be kind to others. Don't underestimate your enemy or friends. Because knowingly or unknowingly, you lent a hand on choosing them. So, face them. Push your limit to the highest peak. Once you climb there, see. There are marvelous people waiting for you. They all have fought the fight just like you. And remember, there is no end of a fight until death.
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