one of the most fucked up aspects of being an adult is really how life-goes-on everything is. like you can be dealing with the most fucked up trauma-drama-grief and still have to sleep and eat food to survive and like. poop. pooping while you're really sad shouldn't be a thing but it is. we don't have a say in the matter. life goes on
what type of lovers do you think Geta and Commudus would be? Not just in bed but, what makes them attracted to someone? or what do they seek?
I think they both share something in common: they need to be really cautious with whom they choose to trust.
For Geta, not only he is the emperor, but he also has the mental weight of having to take care of Caracalla as well as dealing with his ups and downs. He's also tired of the pomposity of some members of the palace, so simply flattering him won't do much good.
Once the finds someone discreet, wise and with an unusual charm, he may start developing an interest to them, trying to find a moment where both of you can be alone and just, talk, get to know them better.
When finally feels like he can drop his facade and just be himself, you'll find a rather witty yet composed spirit, knowing exactly what to say to make you either blush or laugh. As you get fonder of each other, his attitude becomes more tender yet with a hint of possessives in the way he loves you. I totally see him as someone who's love language is touch so he will even yank you to sit next to him if its necesary just to feel you close.
He just needs someone who allows them to be himself for a moment, to leave all the issues behind, and enjoy each other as who you are without the tittles.
As for Commodus, he won't fall for anyone easily either. Both for the lack of interest that he may have to meet someone new and his belief that there's just so few people that really deserve his attention.
I feel like he will get impressed only to really smart people, with those who let him see something he has not pay attention to yet. They also need to share this idea of servitude towards the people, maybe not as within this idea of devotion, but at least believe that love is crucial in every action and how any decision can have a great impact. I really can't see him falling in love with someone truly cruel.
At first, he will urge himself to be cautious, hearing more about your ideals and goals, needing to see if they met with his. I picture him as a small cat looking from a corner if it's safe to come out and play with you.
If that's the case, he will slowly start to romance you, pacing a flower in your hair, kissing your hand gently, slow, and locking his eyes to yours, asking you to read something out loud so he can hear your voice. He's also really possessive, and he may even ask you to braid a small wisp of your hair and cut it so he can tie it around his bracelet.
He would only truly feel satisfied with someone who understands how deeply he cares and how deboted he can be to someone. This leaves him in a very vulneravle situattion, making it really hard to fully open up, but once he feels he can do so, there wont be any other man as deboted as him when it comes to adore you.
It is interesting to wonder if Commodus would stop obsessing over Lucilla if he had another woman in his life 🤔 Like if he had an arranged marriage, would his obsession transfer over from Lucilla to his new wife or would he be obsessed with both, or not care about his wife? I'm kinda delusional so I believe I could have the power to end his lifelong obsession with his sister but canonically my self awareness tells that might not actually go well lol.
Let's be delusional together then.
Canon wise I think it would be very difficult to find someone who stopped Commudus obsession with his sister. Specially since more of an obsession I feel like it's the true belief that she is the only one "worth" for him (because they share the same blood and all that incestuous stuff from the upper classes).
But, I headcanon Commudus as someone who likes a good challenge and change (as long as it is under his control), so finding someone smart, kind of witty and entertaining to talk to could help making him to slowly change his mind and attitude.
He will start asking you to wear something that day, styling your hair in different way just because he wants to see you like that, gifting you jewelry that he wants you to put on...
Honestly knowing Commodus he's probably gonna make us start dressing like Lucilla 😭
Canon wise... probably... But I'm too jealous to believe that, so in my head he will slowly stop obsessing over his sister 🥴
BUT IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY if one day you and Lucilla find each other in the middle of a hallway, both greeting each others and she seems to pass away but suddenly stop, turns around and goes "are those my earrings?"
And at long it helps her not having to deal with him, maybe she evens give you some things she's not using anymore 😭💀
Me loves an evil man, but dammit it if it has been difficult to decide how he would act in a relationship. I just feel like everything felt possible. Here's my try tho, hope y'all like it.
NSFW under the cut!
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex).
This is the time where you see his most gentle side. He softly caresses your cheeks with his index, kissing your forehead as he admires you, unable to do anythibg else but look at you with that little shine in his eyes that you never really know if it comes from desire, possessiveness or joy to be on your side.
He might just stay in silence and wait for any of you two to fall sleep or maybe make some chit chat about the day, just wanting to hear you talk.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
He likes his eyes a lot. He is pretty aware of the effect that they can cause on other people, from frightening them to seducing.
When it comes to his partners, he can't help but being a boobs guy. Doesn't matter if they are big or small, he loves to touch them, seeing them, kissing them...
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Anywhere you let him (or wherever is more convenient for him). Your chest, your abdomen, inside you, your ass cheeks, your mouth. He won't wipe it right away, taking a good look at it proud about it, asking you gently if you liked it, needing to hear that you like it. But why wouldn't you?
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He loves to get his fingers suck, and sometimes he doesn't even ask you to do it, he just puts his thumb gently on your lips and waits for you to lick it. At the same time, he loves to taste you, so if he fingers you he will lick himself clean, tasting you there. He also will get deep with his tongue kisses and, of course, spend as much time as he feels like between your legs.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Doesn't seem like that he might have any lovers. Maybe he has tried a few things with concubines, but it didn't satisfy him. Once he gets your hands on you tho, he finally understands so much better why sex is such a big deal for some people.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
My man is a romantic, missionary does not get old for him. He likes to put your heels on his shoulders and see your reactions to his thrusts. He will only suggest to do doggy style or any other position where he can only see your back unless there's a mirror.
If you get on top of him and ride him, he won't be able to stop pampering with compliments of how pretty you are.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He's too passionate to do anything else than enjoy you and adore you once it gets heated.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Clean and shaved everywhere, like the good Cesar's son he is.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He may start flirtatious and even tease you but he quickly gets passionate, going from a slow and sensual pace to however both of you need that day.
He holds you tight with his grip, so much that you'll find bruises from his fingers on your inner thighs or forearms. He does not always mean to do it, but he can't help to love seeing the marks show up after a steamy night.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Before you two finally were a thing, he started masturbating more frequently since he couldn't stop thinking about you, whispering your name over and over as he pleasured himself. He would even edge himself a little, wondering if you would do it to, his thumb caressing the slit of his head, teasing himself until he couldn't keep it up.
Once you are together, he may do it if he is far away from you for a long time, but that does not usually happens since he will make you travel with him if it's safe to do so.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
If you are not careful, he will slowly introduce an obvious power play dynamic that will go both ways. He will start asking you to wear something that day, styling your hair in different way just because he wants to see you like that, gifting you jewelry that he wants you to put on...
He will enjoy it of you take a submissive role, but if show him that you can also toy with him a little, he will oblige as much as his responsibility allow him.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
His bed is his favorite place in the world. It's big enough for both of you and he knows that no one will interrumpt.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Knowing that you want him as much as he wants you is one of the best feelings for him. It can be in a romantic, friendly or intimate way, but just be clear and vocal that you want him and he will only be able to satisfy your wishes.
He gets extremely needy if you just sit on his lap anywhere, specially if you do so as he is seated on his throne.
But if you want to make him drool, wait for him on your shared bed wearing only the jewels that he has gifted you. He will love the sight so much he might fear he is having visions.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He won't even think about the idea of threesomes or anything that means sharing you. He might put you in a situation where people can obviously see how you are only his, like making you sit on his lap in public (like a small party at the palace) and massage your thighs with his hand under your dress, looking at you satisfied to show you off, but never as an invitation so someone else could get into bed with you two.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He likes giving, specially when it takes you to the point of you pleading for more, or even for you to ask him to stop because of how overstimulated you are. Then, it's about how merciful he is feeling that day, making you repeat yourself over and over until he feels you did well enough.
When he is the one receiving he gets so flustered and exited that if you gag a little on him he will moan, bucking his hips into your mouth so you do it again. He will hold your hair with his hand and look at you eager.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
He starts slow and sensual, focusing on how everything feels and once he finds the perfect angle he starts hammering you down into the mattress.
When he comes he likes to muffle his moan in your skin, maybe kissing your neck or hiding his face between your breasts.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Not a big fan. He wants to feel you and take his sweet time with you.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He is the one that usually introduces stuff: tying your hands, blindfolds...
And even though he usually takes the lead, he will gladly let you be the one in charge if you show interest into do so. That's how you find out how much of a pleaser he actually is, showing you how good he can be at everything you demand.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
He can last for a good two long rounds. After that he needs some time if you still want to keep going.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Commodus, you would have loved long distance vibrators. He would make you put one and tease you all day long, sometimes making it clear if he didn't want you to come or encouraging to come as many times as you needed thought the day.
And about toys that there could have been at that time, he also would enjoy using them on you, but I don't think he would let you use some stuff on him.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
I feel like he changes drastically depending on the role he positions himself.
If his feeling dominant he may tease you a little, draging his fingers over your skin, letting you know, without a word, that he can just do that and more if he feel like it.
But if he comes to you submissive, he will get so needy and straight to the point, pleading to know what you want, and almost whimpering when you flatter him with compliments.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
This man is loud. He groans and pants and comes either repeating your name over and over or with a loud moan that sometimes he muffles as he kisses your neck.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Praise kink. 100% it's just so obvious.
Caress his hair as you make him lay his head on your lap, call him 'pretty boy', 'my sweetest' or something like that, and he will plea to let him suck on your nipples or eat you out fast and eager, to the point that it's animalistic. He will ask you over and over if its good, if he is doing good, if he is a good boy.
Once you come from his tongue, he will look up at you, his mouth covered in your pleasure, kissing your thighs as he whispers over and over how much he loves you and needs you.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Big but proportionated, neither think or slim. 9'5 cm.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
He yearns for you continuously. Not necessarily for sex only, but just to be with you. He just gets a little to obsessed.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He likes to pamper you with kisses first and watch how you fall asleep, but if he is tired he will let you know and hug you as he drifts into his dreams.
~~~~~~
Again, thank you so much for the love in the other hc. If you have any suggestion or want me to write anything, please!! do so!! i have my ask box open!!
I feel like he would sometimes make animal noises 💀 like not even in a kinky way, he just suddenly does it, like bark or imitate Dondus.
😭 this is so funny but also feels so in character for Caracalla. He would definitely be one of those people that randomly makes animal noises
I really didn't really know what else to put there, but somehow this idea striked my like divine inspiration.
I just feel like he gets so silly when he is comfortable with someone. You could approach him as he is looking at some texts or a map and just go "meow" and he would meow back without looking away at whatever he is doing, knowing that it's just you.
For those who wonder where does the text from the ask come from, its from here: Caracalla's ABC Headcanons (nsfw)
In regards of the Trump government scraping all trans inclusion in its queer information portion of its websites I have made this thing. Spread the word. Don't let them pretend we never existed.
To biggest yearner throughout the history of the Roman Empire
Small disclaimer: Listen I know the man is dead, but if you are looking for narrative coherence this is not the place. Best I can say is that all of this happens as he is a Gladiator, but in my head is an au where he gains freedom and keeps on his life. Hope you like it.
NSFW under the cut!
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Maximus is a lover up until his last bone, he also respects routine and duty, meaning that he won't let you leave the bed without at least 15 minutes of cuddeling and kissing you as he says how important you are to him. Maybe he sounds a little dry as he says it, but he means it.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
He is very proud of his arms, how strong he is. They are what it has let him win and protect himself over and over. And same case for their partner, it shows what type of life they have, from farmer, to scripture, to servant.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He likes to cum outside, specially on your Venus mount. He likes seeing what he could have spilled inside you, and knowing what that could mean...
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
This man loves to smell you. He always has used smell as a fighter in order to gain information about the area, how infected was a wound, etc... so I feel like he would have a quite good sense of smell.
He likes how your hair smells, how your skin does to... He loves to take a good slow sniff when he is between your legs, enjoying your musk. You have even scolded him for trying to be sneaky and smell your armpit as he pins your hands up your head while you two are in bed, not a drop of shame in his face as he smiles at your protest.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
He was married and after some years of grief he had a couple lovers, but even if he haven't have any, he know what he is doing. It's not because of experience that he is a good lover, but because he knows how to lisent and take commands.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
He is fond of a couple positions. Mating press is one, since he gets to see your face and use all his weight on you. He also likes the Decent one (I had to google how this one was called lol) and he kisses your ankles when he has you like that.
On slow steamy mornings is quite usual that he starts cuddling, you being the little spoon, and suddenly he is inside you as his arms hold you close and he kisses your shoulders.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He usuay is more serious/passionated toned when he is bed with you, but that does not mean he won't try to make you laugh now and then, enjoying how you slowly get quieter and start moaning his name.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He used to keep it nice and clean everywhere in his body while he was a general, mostly because of how body hair was seen to romans, but after everything that had happened he does not care that much. He might shave everything once in a while, but usually just strims.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
If you two have being seeing each other for just a couple times it can get heated, but he won't pour all his feelings into it.
As you two know more and more, it gets heated, steamy, passionate, eager and needy. He kisses you, licks you, he is always grabbing some part of your body as if you were to slip off.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
I think he usually is too focused on his work and up to what he is doing to do it through the day. If you are not living together he might take care of an annoying morning wood, or think of you at night as he pleasures himself before falling sleep.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
He ends up confessing to you how much he misses the days where he was a general. Not because of power, but the recognition of his men.
One night you teased him a little too much, and trying to stir things even more you said "is my general not able to take a little bit of heat?", all pretty and laying down on his own bed, making something spark inside him.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
His bed is his best known battle ground, and he will use it both in his favour and yours.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
He enjoys when you two are affectionate and cuddle anywhere after a long day, but just a few kisses won't do the job. He likes to hear you asking for it, asking him to pleasure you, to the point where he might make you repeat yourself a couple of times.
You also have learned that if you leave a scarf or any clothes that have your fragrance on it, he be will be inexplicably eager to taste once you see each other again. That's why, once, you helped him pack his bag before he had to leave for a quick travel, putting in a pair of your used panties on it. He was away only for two weeks, but he swear that it was the longest and most torturous time away from you. And he made sure you knew that once he came back.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Because of his past, he is very uncomfortable with any kind of pain, tying either him or you, and degradation in general.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
When you go down on him, he huffs and grabs your hair softly, not urging you to neither go faster or deeper, just enjoying everything you can give him as he pampers you in compliments.
When he goes down on you, it's because he wants to stay FOR A WHILE. He doesn't even mind if he has to wait later for you to recover, he just loves too much your taste, smell and the feeling of your thighs on his ears.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
He prefers to go slow but steady since it allows him to keep it up for longer. He also likes to do this thing when he suddenly buries himself as deep as he can on you, once, twice, and one last time, before coming back to the same pace he was before.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He prefers to take time and enjoy everything properly, but if you insist him, he will try to his best in just a couple minutes.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He is a low risk man, so I feel like he won't like the idea of extravagant stuff or exhibitionism.
If you purse him tho, he won't mind the idea of using a blind on him as you enjoy him, as long he can do the same to you.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
He is not the youngster he used to be, once he has an orgasm he needs a little while to recover. That's why he prefers to edge himself a little and be sure that you get satisfied before he also reaches his climax.
If you overstimulate him, he can come twice in a brief period of time, and his legs will tremble as if he just run a marathon.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He doesn't need toys, he had never needed toys, so if you suggest them he will used them to satisfy your interest, but will never suggest to used them again.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He is not much of a tease. He might want to hear you asking something and be clear and loud about it, but he is just so eager to please.
And he is really bad at resisting to your teasing, so do it only if you are willing to "suffer" the consequences.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He talks you through it at first, letting you know how pretty you look and how good you feel. If you are coming first he will focus on you and encourage to cum, but as soon he is close he will shut up and start huffing and groaning.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
At the beginning of your relationship he still didn't a have a room only for himself so you saw each other at your place. One day you had to rise early, leaving him to wake alone in a bed that stack in your scent. He had to cum on his hand twice in order to be able to even make a proper thought.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
I KNOW IT'S BIG. 12 CM AND THICCCCKE.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Sexually he can stay for long without sex, the main problem is that he has you always in his mind once you two start to be official partner. If he stops straining he thinks about you, if he stops to eat he thinks about what you'll eat to day, if he gets a bath... well... next time will be with you.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
My man is tired. Once he checks on you and maybe drinks some water, he will fall sleep faster than you for sure.
Also, thank you so much for the love in the other headcanons. I'm going through a small 🤏🤏🤏🤏🤏 hyper fixation with the Gladiator films, again, and I just thought about doing something about it.
If there's any fandom or character that you would like me to write something about it, I just activated the question thingy in my profile.
Hey everyone, I know it's going to be a busy day for a lot of people, but Google enrolled everyone over 18 into their AI program automatically.
If you have a google account, first go to gemini.google.com/extensions and turn everything off.
Then you need to go to myactivity.google.com/product/gemini and turn off all Gemini activity tracking. You do have to do them in that order to make sure it works.
Honestly, I'm not sure how long this will last, but this should keep Gemini off your projects for a bit.
I saw this over on bluesky and figured it would be good to spread on here. It only takes a few minutes to do.
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
When the deed was done, Geta would quickly get his desired relief and make it known that he wanted to be left alone. He is someone that is not particularly interested in cuddling or pillow talks, so he only started doing it as you two saw each other more frequently.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
He likes his torso and chest since he has been able to sculpture it. But for his partner, his favourite would be their neck, the sensation of it beneath his lips and nails drives him to madness.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He likes to come outside, since to him is a way of marking another person without other risks. As you two grow closer, tho, he will start coming inside too, saying how much he wants you to get pregnant.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
One morning, both of you were having breakfast on his room, and you licked some honey from your fingers, making him have an idea. Next thing you know, his tongue is all over your body, licking you clean after he poured threads of honey all over your skin.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
He has plenty of experience on what he likes since he has had a few lovers, so you'll need to be patient to let him learn about what you like.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Loooves to see you on your knees looking up at him, even if it's just resting your head on his lap. He also likes you riding him so he can suck on your nipples and play with your ass.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He might tease you and make you chuckle at first, but he loves to get serious all of a sudden, making you unable to do anything else but moan.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He trims and takes care of it, but won't fully shave down there.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
At first, he isn't that much thoughtful of how "attentive" he is being, only making sure you also cum (because he wants to hold certain reputation) but as time goes by he gets more heated with you, enjoying every part of your body.
In a similar way, even when he confesses that he is interested in you, he wont pamper you with compliments, saying only what he finds enough. He wont either like it if you try to overcompliment him; only enjoying when you point out something that its too obvius to deny. As time go by and you see each other more and more, he becomes sweeter and more delicate, paying more atenttion to you and also enjoying any sweet words you have for him.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Why should he pleasure himself when he has slaves and concubines? Same thing even when you are together.
He will order someone to find you and get you and either try to be subtle and seduce you or just admit how much he needs you.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
He is always the dominant one.
He does not have to be it all the time, but even though he can be soft, gentle and charming, he is not going to be submissive. Being that said, taunt him and degrade him juuust enough, and you won't be able to walk for a week.
He also enjoys a bit of pain, so scratch his back, hold his neck tight and bite his hand when he muffles you, he will let you know how much he loves it.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
He has a bit of a public/thrill of being found out fantasy, and has been found in very precarious places. Behind a pillar here, a small, hidden room there. If you even suggest riding him on his throne, you won't be able to even walk up there because of how fast he will carry you on his shoulder to get there.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
This man is easy to pursue if you know how to talk to him. Bat your eyelashes a little and say that you miss him and that's enough for him.
At the same time, tease him and taunt him about how you are not sure if he will be able to do something (like making you cum) and his ego will do the rest.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Not being in control is a huge no for him, so, for example, tying him down will only happen if he trusts that you will do only things he likes and wants.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He is not really used to give since he hasn't really bothered about other people's pleasure, but if you know how to push his buttons and say something like "yeah, it's okay, you can't be good at everything" to tease him how XYZ lover did it so much better, he will get to town.
The only thing, I feel like he will get impatient, so at firts he will only do it when he knows it can make you come quick; once he get the trick on how to make you scream his name he will make sure everyone knows how good of a lover he can be.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
He loves a fast pace, specially if he can either see or hear how you bounce on him. As you too meet more often, he can get more lovey-dovey but it aaaalways gets up getting heated and fast.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He loves them, both for how risky they can get and how fast he can make you come.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He is the one suggesting stuff to you and just seeing if you are okay with it. About what he suggests, i would leave it up to y'all.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
2 to 3 if it has been a short while. 4 and even 5 if he has been a long time since he could have you. It will leave him panting and sweaty, enjoying the mess that he has made of you.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
i dead ass feel like it will make him jealous 💀💀💀 like he would say something like "you are only allowed to come on my dick" or something like that
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He usually won't do it in public or social situations since he has scold his brother for such manners before.
If you two are alone, he may lay down on the same sofa where you are seated and trace his fingers on your skin softly, both to just feel you and make you remember that he can just do that and more if he wanted to.
If you decide to tease him in private, he would like to see how far you are able to get it through. But tease him too much, and he will make you beg to come, leaving you on the edge.
Pray for your soul of you decide to tease him outside the bedroom.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He gets loud. He moans he grunts he huffs a d he swears.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
He has a very sensitive neck. Kiss it softly and you'll swear you heard him purr just right before he throws you to the bed.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
10,5 cm, thick, and a small mole on the right side of his crotch
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
He can do good for 4 days without neither sex nor masturbation, then he either pleases himself or takes you, whatever he can do at that moment.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
At first he would come, turn around and sleep. Now he cuddles you a little and checks that you are okey before falling sleep.
Fun fact! Saint Valentine was beheaded, and here is a photo of his supposed skull! (which is kept in a reliquary in rome because catholics are freaky that way)
I see a reference to the Sedlic Ossuary, love the decor in that place.
this is a church that supposedly had holy ground or something that let people rot really fast, Idk what that’s about, but people really wanted to get buried there, and so they had overflow of dead people. so they exhumed old bodies and stored the bones in the church, before someone eventually said ‘hey, this would make a cool fucking chandelier.’ and then they started using the bones to decorate. this continued for several generations.
what happened was, some dude from that town (it’s in the Czech Republic) went to the Holy Land in 1278 and brought back some dirt. he spread it in the churchyard, and then EVERYONE wanted to be buried there. because Super Extra Holy(TM). eventually they ran out of room, so they started exhuming old bodies and storing the bones aboveground instead. that’s what an ossuary is, so you have a Fun Vocab Word for the day
in 1870, the church leaders were like “these bones are kind of disorganized and just collecting dust. can anyone stack them better?”
and one František Rint, woodcarver and apparent prior incarnation of Guillermo del Toro, said, “MY TIME HAS COME”
and he. did that.
he also signed it
the church leaders must have been okay with it, because I imagine he ran the plans by them and also they didn’t immediately burn the place to the ground. but I still like to picture them looking over the initial sketches with Rint watching, and roughly these expressions on their respective faces:
For the sake of the narrative, we will exclude that our little meow meow has syphilis.
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
I think he would either crash out and fall sleep or just get up, get dressed and keep on with his day if you two just have done it in the middle of the day.
If there's time and he is not tired, he would spend some time teasing you and trying to make you laugh as you cuddle. He might have responsibilities, but he also wants to be as close to his partner as posible.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
His own: His favorite part of himself is his hands. He enjoys how rough they are after training and working hard.
His partner’s: I feel like he would have thing for resting his head on his partner's lap, even nuzzle there; extra points if he gets his hair brushed with their fingers.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He loves to mark you, so cumming either inside or outside is good for him.
If you let him do it inside he will get so happy, staring at it and maybe even playing with his fingers. Let him clean it out with his mouth, and you'll have him ready for a second round in a moment.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
If you are stronger than him, he won't admit it, but he loves to be tossed around, and not in a gentle or delicate way. Carry him on your shoulder, and he will be squirming of how exited he gets.
Also, he likes to watch, so if you both fancy anyone, he wouldn't mind AT ALL seeing you get knocked out by them. The only pay-off will be making you repeat over and over how much you prefer him.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Due to his temper, he may not have a stable relationship or lover, but he did have a few… He at least knows what he likes.
F = Favourite position (this goes without saying)
Again, I feel like he likes to watch and see, so you on top so he can see your face and missionary are a classic.
If you make him angry or jealous, I feel like he would angry-fuck you either with a matting press or doggy style as he holds your head down :)
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
They are goofy, both in a funny and charming way since they like to make you laugh and get flustered, but also he likes to tease you the fuck out.
I just feel like he talks and rambles a lot once he gets comfy with someone, so once he gets into bed with you he will start talking and making you questions and explaining stuff.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
I know he has the most precious bush and happy trail down there (i don't care that Romans shaved).
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
I feel that him being romantic would only happen in a possessive way. After all, he is so happy that you are only his.
Wanting to hear how good is it, how great he is, how no one else makes you feel like this. It will get him going for looong, needing to hear you for as much as you can bear it.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Once a day, even if he knows he will see you. Twice if he is stressed. And I feel like he huffs and groans just a little while he does it.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
He actually loves it if you are able to keep up with his tease. Like, he is just an undomed brat, and if you are able to dom him a little once in a while you will be able to even hear him whimper your name over and over and over. Pull his hair a little, make him beg and ask nicely, don't let him cum until he knows how to behave…
He is still the emperor tho, and he will make sure you remember that next time.
L = Location (favourite places to do the do)
Since he is the emperor he truly believes that he can do it anywhere and everywhere. He has thought of finger you as you sit on his lap while he watches the gladiators fight on the arena, he also loves when you two go to the royal baths together and he can get handsy on you without being bothered… But I feel like his bed is his favourite place, specially since its where you get louder.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Honestly, you being touchy and gentle to him is enough to make him feel flustered. But if you want him to drop whatever he might be doing, pull him from his necklaces with one finger and kiss him, even better if they are tight on him.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)
Getting hit. One thing is a playfuy spank from you or knowing that you like getting spanked, but another is using a lot of force on him or you.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
I feel like he likes more receiving than giving, but it's still quite equal to how much everyone gets. And I KNOW he makes it sloppy when he gets more freaky, even slurping as he looks at you with a teasing smirk.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc.)
He gives you a moment to settle, and then he moves at a decent peace, not quick, not slow, just building your climax steady. He will get either faster or slower once you say you are close, depending on how merciful he is that day.
And again, I believe that this man will angry-fuck you if you make him jealous or just piss him off. Not assuring that you'll come if it happens.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He loves it. It helps him to decompress on bad days and are fun to do if he finds you alone in a secluded room of the palace.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)
He may hear stuff from other court members and concubines and suggest them to you.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)
Usually 2, even if they have jacked off that day.
On good days when he is not tired, he can go up to 3 rounds if you give him time.
T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He loves the idea of using toys, both on him and you, but won't let you use toys alone. Either he is using them on you or he is watching you used them (and he learns that seeing you masturbate in front of him, pleading for hin to touch you, makes his mouth drool).
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
HE TEASES A LOT. He will caress and pet you in front of others, maybe even suddenly kiss your neck and softly bite your earlobe, or suddenly whisper in your ear as you are having lunch how much he wants you to ride his face, turning pround and make it seem as if nothing had happened.
Make him pay it off he will be so so happy... that he will do it again.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He is vocal, he talks to you, he asks questions, he wants to hear you. He may sometimes moan, but it's more of a huffer and groans. If you overstimulate him, he will whimper.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
I feel like he would sometimes make animal noises 💀 like not even in a kinky way, he just suddenly does it, like bark or imitate Dondus.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Almost 10 cm, proportionally thick
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
He can function without you on his bed for like a week, but after that either he masturbates more or once he sees you, you won't leave his bed for a while…
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
You end up knowing when he needs to get the done did and just fall to sleep, and when he wants to cuddle and chit-chat as the tiredness of the day brings you both to sleep.
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