You weren’t sure how you ended up in this position, but you were crying in Corpse's embrace, already inside his apartment. You didn’t register the moment the both of you made it inside, but you were glad he took care of it, as you didn’t want to be seen in that state. You were slightly shaking but at the same time clutching your hands at his t-shirt. You made sure that he wouldn’t disappear any second, you were too afraid to let that happen.
“It’s okay.” You heard him whisper while he kept patting your hair. He tried to calm you down, yet that was not an easy task. You felt like you had no control over your body, you kept telling yourself to calm down, to stop crying, but then you started hiccuping and it got so much worse than in the beginning. You felt so tired, so helpless you couldn’t properly breathe. It was too hard for you.
You weren’t sure if you lost consciousness or fell asleep but your slumber was so peaceful, so good. That was the best sleep you got in what felt like ages. You felt safe in his embrace, he was your refuge.
When you finally woke up, he was not by your side but you found yourself in his bed. The space next to you still felt warm so you concluded he had to walk away only seconds ago. Your source of warmth had disappeared so it was only natural for you to wake up. You felt a little embarrassed because you fell asleep at his place and were a burden yet again. You didn’t want to be a problem, the two of you hadn’t a chance to even talk.
After a while you heard light steps coming closer to the bedroom you were located in. Only your head was sticking out from underneath the blanket as you looked at the direction where Corpse appeared seconds later. He seemed surprised that you were no longer sleeping and he smiled apologetic, coming closer with two mugs in his hands. You sat down, making a space for him to sit down as well and you were silent as ever. You were lacking words and feeling as if you made a stupid little girl out of yourself.
“I-” You both started at the same time and you couldn’t help but smile. He put the mugs on the bedside table and took place right next to you. You felt so much better with him by your side that you couldn’t believe it yourself.
“I’m sorry.” He said, finally making eye contact. You were not able to avert your gaze and that’s why you felt your cheeks becoming warmer and probably more pinkish in shade. Even if he noticed, he didn’t comment on that fact. “I was… I was so lost in my work… I’m- I’m working on something new right now and… And I didn’t realize. I didn’t realize so much time had passed, you know? And when I finally did, I thought it was too late. I thought it was your choice, that you didn’t want to keep in touch anymore. I didn’t even think about reaching out to you. I’m so terribly sorry about that. I realized my mistake the moment I saw you. I’m so sorry, I really am. I missed you so, s-so fvcking much. You can’t imagine.”
His voice broke a few times during his speech and he was more like throwing his words out of his mouth. Like he wanted to get rid of them or maybe say them before he changed his mind. You were not sure. It all felt so surreal, yet so true. You felt the sincerity dripping down every single word he mumbled.
You were so deep in thoughts, so lost that you missed the moment he scooped closer to you. You noticed in the exact moment you felt his cold hand at your a little bit too warm cheek. You blinked fast, not eternally sure what’s happening.
“I shouldn’t have let you go just like that after… what you said.” This time he chose his words carefully, slowly deciding what was the best thing to say. What he really wanted to say. “I was not ready. But now, now I believe I am.”
You kept num, your face void of any emotions, as you couldn’t keep up with him. Your brain just couldn’t proceed with what he said. You didn’t understand and wanted an explanation. He gave you just that.
His voice was hoarse, his eyes blinking really slowly as you looked at them. His words ringing in your head as if they had been banging at some kind of door, pleading for you to let them in.
His hand at your face suddenly became so hot, almost burning you with its flame. You felt your throat becoming dry, unabling you from uttering a single word. You hoped he could see it all in your eyes.
“I can’t remember anything before you.”
happy funky monkey friday everyone <3
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