@peppy-roni - Tumblr Blog

papayajuan2019

i remember you from when we were bugs

peppy-roni

@theyrequiteaware

bish0ps

I can tell if a bug has a troubled past

peppy-roni

@theyrequiteaware

feeling peace enough to share this

we were in a Japanese restaurant

for a birthday party

and everyone was laughing

because it had been

a while since life had let us

be with one another.

I always wondered why

I spent so much of my time apologizing

for things about myself that were

normal-- like my need to be alone

sometimes, or my anger at the world

for how unfair it was.

your grief took the shape

of your body,

and I mistook it for you.

it wasn't pretty, or decent,

or becoming.

it was, instead, another

amber glass bottle, a too-loud

remark, an unabashed

inappropriate gesture.

it was uncomfortable

for me to feel it

enveloping you

so deeply,

so openly.

the grief permeated my skin,

it's emotional vibrations

shifted from your seat to mine.

it was uncomfortable to feel against my

own skin-- this grief that was so

wholly unbecoming of you.

but I cant imagine how much

your bones must ache from

the heaviness of what is still missing.

I was uncomfortable, and,

because of it, I resented you.

how unfair of me to feel this way,

but I cannot apologize, again,

for things about myself that are normal.

letsbelonelytogetherr

— Nitya Prakash

eliamatrell

“Fairy tales are more than moral lessons and time capsules for cultural commentary; they are natural law. The child raised on folklore will quickly learn the rules of crossroads and lakes, mirrors and mushroom rings. They’ll never eat or drink of a strange harvest or insult an old woman or fritter away their name as though there’s no power in it. They’ll never underestimate the youngest son or touch anyone’s hairpin or rosebush or bed without asking, and their steps through the woods will be light and unpresumptuous. Little ones who seek out fairy tales are taught to be shrewd and courteous citizens of the seen world, just in case the unseen one ever bleeds over.”

— S.T. Gibson (via sarahtaylorgibson)

traumatised-mum

you ever just sit and realise u can’t remember 80% of your childhood? like … what happened? who am i ..?

anisetheapothecary

Many people in the comments are saying “trauma”, but this is actually a very normal occurrence. It’s called Childhood Amnesia, and it’s a process which, as the brain reorganizes itself for cognitive thought that is developed in late childhood, it changes the Accessibility of those memories during recall. Many childhood memories are available to the person, but they will not be remembered during regular recall activity, you have to “trick” your brain into remembering with different tactics.

This is because there are two parts to memories - their encoding and their recall. The encoding determines their availability, their recall determines their accessibility. The reason why trauma memory and childhood amnesia are different is in this distinction. Trauma memory is often encoded differently, bypassing to the limbic system where it is stored as intrinsic memory. It can’t be recalled because it was never encoded. Childhood amnesia, however, seems to indicate that the memories are encoded, but we lose access to them as we age. This is most likely due to the development of brain structures that fundamentally change our encoding and recall of memory as we get older.

This is an important distinction, because trauma memory is “stored in the body”, i.e. you get triggers that send your body into a cascade of uncontrollable feelings, sensations and reactions. Whereas childhood memories won’t generally do that, they are just recalled at odd times with odd associations.

malcolmcooks

reblogging this because I’ve legit seen people freaking out when they realised they can’t remember some of their childhood, thinking they might have some repressed trauma.