Eidikos

Ballers don't screef

[perseus14]

Why are you so awesome though..... And i know what you smell like..

very interesting

[pitbolshevik]

"sexualizing or fantasizing about real people is bad" is still my favorite tumblr opinion

[abortionado]

this might've been twitter but i'd like to remind everyone of the subsequent 400 IQ take, "you should ask people for consent before masturbating to the thought of them"

[pitbolshevik]

WHAT

[brainscrewz]

i think i saw that tweet actually! they said specifically that witchy and spiritual people KNOW you're getting off to them and you should ask first lmao. if that's not projecting idk what is

[pitbolshevik]

this is making my brain short circuit

[subconscious-realm]

No. Yes we do know, i receive nasty disturbing visions out of nowhere and when i walk past them again i instantly know as well as them from their facial language. but if they are hot then yes i enjoy it and its not really bad but You Should At Least Ask Psychic Permission beforehand please.....

[pitbolshevik]

i would love to study you

[letmefixthatforyou]

I mean from a witchy perspective, if you know someone has fantasised about you just from walking past them, then that's your fault for not erecting proper psychic wards. It's not some random stranger's responsibility to deal with you projecting your psyche everywhere

[pitbolshevik]

how did this post turn into this what the fuck is happening

[taningia]

[normal-horoscopes]

[We pass each other on the street and my overwhelming psychic power smashes your wards like an egg. You are unable to resist my erotic fantasies about the canadian supreme court.]

[sappling]

[mudswampdealer100]

It’s Him, Right On Time

[plac3h0lder]

santa jaws

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[humunanunga]

Tumblr after 12/16/18:

[totalariana]

I’m such a fan of low soft lighting like turn off that room light and turn on a lamp bitch

[soup-erb]

[archaeologysucks]

When I was a very small child, my mom used to bury coins in my sandbox, leave huge boot prints in the sand, and tell me pirates had come in the night and buried treasure. I would be out there happily for hours, with my little sieve, and my mom got a quiet morning to herself for the price of a handful of pennies.

I was always kind of skeptical about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, because visiting every kid in the world did not seem reasonable. But the pirates only visited me, so they were probably real.

So that’s the story of how I ended up being an archaeologist. How about you?

[liberalsarecool]

Help spread the word: Obamacare deadline for health care coverage in 2019 is December 15. Pass it on.

[ssammys]

[allerliefste-archive-deactivate]

oh to be a little cat and sit in a windowsill

[springfieldusa]

[justinpie]

holy shit marge

[birdship]

so that post about how you can get around the bot by tagging things “#sfw”? uhhhhh it’s TRUE.

i did a little test in my drafts:

i am losing my goddamn mind like how is it possible to be this stupid

[plasticblisss]

[parkchanwoohoo]

It’s feminist for me to fantasize about a beefy country boy to lift things for me and introduce me to his goats, because it turns me on and is therefore empowering!!! Fuck you!!!!!!!

[parkchanwoohoo]

Are there weird gender role issues here if he has a big appetite and I make a lot of food for him? NO, because I am also PEGGING HIM in this scenario!! I am the FARM DOMME

[parkchanwoohoo]

I’m going back in time to cancel this post because I’ve been told this is categorized as horny on main. Frankly I don’t see how it is horny to want someone in scuffed jeans blush while letting you pet their sheep but I’ve been overruled and I have a career to consider so [REDACTED]

[kryptonians]

Julia I’m reporting you

[kryptonians]

Julia I’m just worried about the goats

[parkchanwoohoo]

God okay you don’t understand, the goats initially are somewhat skittish but end up liking me right away, leading the farmboy to go “I’ve never seen them warm up to anyone so quickly before!” And we share a shy but tender glance as the sun sets, until a goat does something silly that makes us both break into laughter. The GOATS are ESSENTIAL in getting him to NUT IN ME

[flour-canon]

Free worldbuilding idea:

Wizards have the same trust in magic that software designers have in software, which is to say, almost none at all.

“Are you fucking kidding me I worked in a reagrent shop for a few years I don’t trust any of that stuff. Who the hell knows what other components are in the ashes.”

“Yeah I was in the circle that made Alston’s Divine Circle of Teleportation. There’s some pretty nasty corner cases you can get into but the headmaster published it without us. I just take ships. It’s way safer.”

“I call bullshit on that Necromancer channeling spirits of loved ones. What did he say he was using? ‘Medium Conduit Ruinic Circles’? That’s just a bunch of buzzwords slapped together, and they don’t even interact with each other.”

“I’ve been looking at this scroll all morning and I’m 90% sure that the scribe didn’t even look at the standard for pyromancies.”

[digitaldiscipline]

“Help Desk, this is Gloriline, what did you fuck up this time?” *indistinct vocals* “Dave, I’ve seen the news, and, frankly, I can see the ash cloud from here. You paid for extended support, not enabling support.”

[void-writing]

“I can’t get this fucking spell to work, Jane, can you look it?”

*passes a scroll* *a few moments of silence*

“I think you missed a bookend rune right here-”

“GODS DAMN IT! IT’S ALWAYS SHIT LIKE THAT! THANK YOU!” *angrily scribbles on parchment*

(It takes five more aggravatingly tiny adjustments before the spell works)

[crazy-pages]

I don’t play wizards anymore because they’re too much like my day job.

[drackir]

Instead of a orb the wizard has a little statue of a duck he tells his spells to and then swears when he spots the obvious mistake.

[beachfox-deactivated20181218]

You beat me to it! I was going to add that the reason why wizards and witches always have familiars around is so they can Rubber Duck at them until they realize what the mistake with their spell is!

Outsiders get it wrong and figure the familiars are somehow teaching spells to their owners, but no. It’s just explaining to Firewing what you’re trying to do with this teleportation matrix until you realize that you’ve been using telepathy crystals to power it the whole time like a FUCKING IDIOT!

[bardicknowledgeblogger]

@dmplz