peterpparkrr

Alex. she/they. 26. Here's my masterlist. (and my rec blog) I no longer use taglists but you can subscribe to any of my series on my ao3 to get notified when I update.

[peterpparkrr]

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[rosehathawhey]

RIVALS | 2x05

bonus:

[peterpparkrr]

I'm so glad you're writing for Declan, he definitely needs more love. Since you asked for requests, I'd love to read something with Declan being jealous, like the reader starts making him jealous with Baz or Rupert after seeing Declan go to London to see Maudie's play or something like that. That's just an idea; essentially, I'd really like to read something with him losing control because of jealousy. I apologize if there are any mistakes, english is not my first language. I hope you have a great day!!

Thank you for the request, my love!! I hope you like this! It was so fun to write <3 

-

You knew it was a bad idea the moment you started. 

But the green-eyed monster got you when Declan told you he was going up to see Maud in “A Doll's House” in London.

Now, taking the kids up to London to see their mother perform? That you could have understood. 

You’re a reasonable woman. 

But there was nary a child in sight.

No, just the man you had been sleeping with for the last two months headed off to see his wife.

“I’m going for a meeting with the BBC about the Yeats Documentary, but if Maud finds out that I was in London and didn’t come see the show, she’ll murder me.”  

“Just one night,” He’d reassured you. Pressing a kiss to your temple. “You’ll hardly notice I’m gone.”

And like an idiot, you’d just smiled and nodded.

The pathetic behavior of a lovestruck idiot.

Because you’d spent the night alone watching Top of the Pops and eating a quart of Ice Cream in your flat. Painfully aware of Delcan’s absence in your evening, as you tried and struggled to sleep alone in your bed.

Only to wake up to a photo of Delcan and Maud posing on the front and center on the social pages.

His arm slung low around his waist as she plastered herself to his chest. Maud gave eyes to the camera while Declan stared straight down the lens.

Fine. 

Two could play that game. 

You were around The Priory with the others working on the Venturer project when Delcan’s ratty old hatchback pulled around the drive. 

“Bas, darling, can you help me with something?” You asked sweetly as you gestured for him to come over to your desk.

“‘Course,” He replied as he ambled over.

You smiled up at him sweetly, knowing that this would do the trick. 

“I’m afraid I just don’t seem to understand the rules,” You told Bas with a shake of your head as you jabbed your finger into the production plan for the Polo match they were supposed to be filming this weekend. “Can you explain them to me again? I want to make sure I have it down before we cover the match.”

Men were so easy.

It didn’t take some sort of vixen to figure out how to manipulate men. Just learning the simple fact that men liked to explain things to you.

And if there was one thing that Bas loved to talk about, it was Polo.

And before you knew it, he’d launched into an animated explanation. 

“The field is like the road, and each horse is a car. Just like on the road, you absolutely do not want to crash,” Bas explains as he leans over your shoulder, one arm braced on the back of your chair, the other holding your pencil, using the sheet of paper in front of you as a field as he drew little ‘x’s and ‘o’s all over it as he spoke. 

“Imagine the ball leaves an invisible, glowing trail behind it as it rolls, like a laser beam. The player who hit it last, or the player closest to it, owns that highway. If you are on defense, you cannot just cross that highway right in front of them. That is a massive foul because it causes head-on collisions. You have to safely merge lanes next to them.” You nodded along. Turning your face to the side as you looked up at Bas, catching sight of Declan across the room, right where he’d been when he’d first walked in. 

Still not making his way over to you. 

Fine. 

Then you’d keep playing your game.

“And who’s the chukker?” You asked as you blinked up at Bas. Bas chuckled. “Not a who. It’s the periods of play, darling, are you really that hopeless?” “‘Fraid so,” You replied with a shrug as you pouted up at him.

Bas shook his head.

“It’s a very uh- physical game. Should we talk through hooking now?” “What’s hooking?” You asked innocently.

Declan called your name out sharply. Too sharp and too loud for the room, which was saying something, given how rowdy this crowd got when they got working.

You and Bas both looked up sharply.

“A word?” Declan called out with a jerk of his head. You nodded.

“One sec, I’ll be right back,” You told Bas with a squeeze on his upper arm as you pushed out of your chair and moved to follow Declan as he pushed through the door into his actual office.

You didn’t stick around long enough to hear Bas’ response. If there is any. Because you don’t really care.

All you care about is Declan.

And what exactly he has to say for himself.

You close the door to his office firmly behind you. Crossing your arms over your chest as you step into the room to face Declan, where he’s already leaning against the edge of his desk, cigarette perched between his lips as he shakes his head at you.

“You are unbelievable,” He scoffed as he looked you up and down. “That was a cute little stunt out there.” “I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” You said slowly. “You’re not?” He asked, cocking his head to the side. “You’re not aware of the way you were gazing up at Bas like a little puppy dog?” “Are you a stray, pretty girl? A lost puppy looking for a new owner?” You frowned. A deep crease forming between your brows. 

You didn’t want to deign to answer that question.

“Bas was helping me with the plan for the polo match,” You told him. “I wasn’t aware I wasn’t allowed to work with our coworkers anymore.”

“You might be able to fool a man like Bas with the dumb little girl act, but I know you better than to try that with me,” Declan replied lowly. 

“Come here,” He ground out impatiently.

Your feet were carrying you forward before your brain could react. “Did you like it?” Declan murmured as his hand reached out, grasping at your hip as he pulled you up against him, “His hand on your back, his breath on the side of your face?” He murmured as he leaned forward, his lips ghosting over your cheek, your ear, and down to your neck, lips barely touching your skin, ghosting over your skin before he pulled away to look at you, waiting for your response. “No,” You replied with a quiet, shaky breath as you shook your head. “Then why’d you do it?” Declan asked. “Because I was mad at you, and I wanted to make you jealous,” You admitted in your small voice as your gaze dropped down to your shoes.

Declan frowned as he reached out for your chin, and tilted your head back up so your eyes had to reach his. “What did I do to deserve that?” “I saw the picture in the paper this morning, Declan,” You replied with a sigh.

“What?” Declan asked, leaning back against the desk, his brow furrowed in confusion. “There was a photo of you and her in the paper,” You replied. “Did you sleep with her last night, Delcan? After you saw her show?” You asked. Your voice gained volume and emotion as you looked back at him. All of the anxious thoughts from earlier this morning are coming fresh into your mind. “Are you going back to your wife?” “What?” Declan asked in disbelief. “I just want to know how much longer I have left with you,” You admitted in a bout of honesty you’d never prepared to admit aloud. 

How much you liked Declan. How much you wanted a future with him. And how scared you were of losing him. How it felt inevitable. “Are you kidding me?” Declan scoffed. “The picture is nothing. How many times do I have to tell you I’m not with her?” “That’s not what it looked like in that photo,” You replied stubbornly. “Fuck the photo!” Declan snapped. His voice louder than you were prepared for, and you jolted with a shudder of surprise at the volume. “I’m sorry, but fucking hell, it’s nothing! We’re over,” Declan continued. “She’s your wife, Delcan,” You replied. “I’d understand if you went back to her. I wouldn’t like it. But I’d understand.” “I won’t be a mistress,” You continued with a shake of your head.  “I-” “You are my everything,” Declan cut you off. “Don’t you understand?”

“What?” You asked. “It’s you,” Declan implored. “You. Not her. Not anymore. Not last night. And never again.” “Only you,” He reiterated.

You studied his eyes closely as you watched him speak. You knew when he was talking shit. But this… this was all true. Which was horrifying, and exhilarating, all at once.

“Promise?” You asked as a peek of a smile cut through. “Swear,” Delcan replied as he mirrored your grin with one of his own as he pulled you close and pressed a kiss to your lips.

Hungry and desperate and smiling.

And you were smiling too. “Then prove it,” You told Delcan when you pulled back for a breath of air.

Declan smirked down at you.

“Gladly,” He replied as the hand he had curled around the back of your neck trailed down your spine notch by notch until it palmed your ass as the hand on your waist pulled you up to straddle your legs on either side of one of his thighs.

A hand on either hip guided your hips through the motion of a slow grind against Declan’s thigh, the friction of his pant leg through your own pants, and all of the layers of clothing between him and the wet heat pooling between your legs was still enough to send a shock of pleasure through your body.

“I think you liked making me jealous,” Declan murmured in your ear as his hands slowly guided you to a steady grinding pace as your clit found purchase on the delicious sensation of the pressure of the drag down his leg. “Turning me into a man possessed.”

“Wanting to own you. Claim you. In front of everyone. Not caring who sees,” He continued as he pushed you down harder. 

“Who could walk into this room any minute and see you, pathetic and writhing on top of me, desperate for any release I’ll give you.” “Declan,” You whined.

“You like it,” He replied as he pressed his lips to yours again, kissing you soundly, slipping his tongue between your lips to explore your mouth. “You love it. What we have. And so do I. More than anything,” He said, breathless, when you broke apart again. “Fuck you’re so gorgeous, baby,” He groaned as he looked down at your still-moving hips.  “Those little sounds, and the way you take anything I give you.”

You whined again, high and needy as you felt the pressure begin to build. Fuck, you were so close.

“No other man could treat you like this,” Declan told you. “Bas could never get you this hot and bothered, all without even taking off your clothes, now could he?” “Dec, I’m close,” You gasped. “Come, baby,” He told you as he let you find just the right angle and pressure to come.

Your orgasm crested over you with a silent gasp for air as your back arched before you dropped your head into Delcan’s shoulder.

He rubbed his hands up and down your sides as you caught your breath.

“Take off your pants, baby,” He finally spoke.

You stepped off of him on shaky legs and unbuckled your belt, and then unbuttoned your trousers, pulling them and your now-soaked underwear off in one swoop before pulling your blouse over your head as well.

Almost completely naked, other than your bra, as you stood in front of Declan, still fully clothed, despite the fact that you could see the outline of his hard cock through his own trousers.

  Declan moved to flip your positions, turning you so that your ass pressed into the edge of the desk before he lifted you from under your ass to perch right on the edge of the desk. His large palms then moved to spread your thighs and expose your naked cunt to the cool air of his office.

“Fuck, so gorgeous for me,” Declan groaned as he dropped one hand to palm his cock through his pants before they came back up to rub up and down your thighs. “All swollen and wet.” “Dec-” But before you could protest to the teasing, Declan’s mouth dipped to the apex of your thighs and moved against you, his nose pressed into you as his tongue lapped at your hole. 

Devouring you.

A man possessed. 

Or maybe the more accurate description was a man starved.

Because he lapped at your hole and the release of your first orgasm, at your clit, and your whole core like he hadn’t eaten in days.

It was ferocious and unrelenting. 

Your second orgasm came on fast and hard. Rolling over you with a full body spasm as your thighs clenched over Delcan’s ears, refusing to release him until the aftershocks made their way through you like a current.

“Fuck, Declan,” You groaned when you finally felt like you’d caught your breath enough to speak.

“I know, baby, you’re doing so good,” He reassured you as he pushed himself up from his knees to kiss you.

The salty, tangy taste of your own come mixed with his spit and your own, as you kiss him soundly. But you were too keyed up to give it another thought. “I want you to fuck me,” You told Delcan softly. “And I will,” Declan replied as your hands began to fumble with his pants. “I’m going to make sure you never forget who you belong to.”

“Declan,” You protested as he swatted your shaky fingers away and ripped his pants open and shucked them down to his thighs, impatient as he pulled out the hard, hot length of his cock, wasting no time pressing the ruddy head against your still weeping hole, the spend of two orgasms leaking out. “You pull a stunt like that again, and I won’t be as nice about this,” He warned as he pushed into you, slow, but deep, as he pressed himself in until your hip bones met. And you felt impossibly full. The way you always did when Declan fucked you.

“I don’t need you to be nice,” You told him with a slight shake of your head as you urged your core to relax and allow Delcan to move.

“Good,” Declan replied as he began to move. The pace was fast and quick, frantic the way this whole reunion of sorts had been. You were desperate. But so was he. And it was hard to keep track of whose hands were where and whose mouth was kissing what, but you could feel him everywhere.

Delcan’s hands on your hips, squeezing your breasts through your bra, sucking on your neck, your collar bone, kissing your lips. While your hands fumbled for purchase in his hair, then his neck, before helplessly pawing at his back, raking your nails over him again and again as you slipped down the material of his shirt.

“Fuck, Declan, feels so good-” You groaned.

All of your sounds were met with groans of Delcan’s own, little moans and sighs matched by their equal, their opposite. 

Their partner.

“Tell me I’m the only one who can fuck you like this,” Declan told you. “Tell me.”

“You’re the only one,” You reassured him, the response coming quick and immediate. It wasn’t a thought. Or a consideration. He was. He was the only one you wanted. The only one you needed. 

“I’m gonna come,” Declan ground. The silent question of where hanging in the air between you as you moved to meet him, trying to chase your own climax. “Inside,” You replied as your hands dropped down to his hips, and moved to palm at his ass, helping push him deeper inside of you. “Inside?” Delcan asked. Like he’d hallucinated your answer. “Inside,” You confirmed with a nod as you gazed into his eyes, hoping that your own were expressing the truth of your statement to him. 

You wanted to feel him everywhere.

“Fuck, you’re so-” And then his hips stuttered, and you felt the hot release of him deep in you.

Your left hand moved to the apex of your thighs, finding your clit as Declan fucked a few more stuttered thrusts into you, fucking his come deep inside as you brought your own climax on with a shudder and a groan, clenching tightly around where Declan was still sheathed inside your core.

“Fuck,” You hissed as Delcan finally pulled out of you, the emptiness and the drip of both of your spend following. 

“You look so pretty like this,” Delcan murmured as he pressed a kiss to your temple.

“Maybe I should make you jealous more often,” You quipped.

“Bloody hell,” Delcan groaned. “That’s gonna be what you take away from this?”

[peterpparkrr]

Rivals Masterlist

Declan O'Hara x Reader

Take It

Request: Jealous!Declan

[peterpparkrr]

I'm so glad you're writing for Declan, he definitely needs more love. Since you asked for requests, I'd love to read something with Declan being jealous, like the reader starts making him jealous with Baz or Rupert after seeing Declan go to London to see Maudie's play or something like that. That's just an idea; essentially, I'd really like to read something with him losing control because of jealousy. I apologize if there are any mistakes, english is not my first language. I hope you have a great day!!

Thank you for the request, my love!! I hope you like this! It was so fun to write <3 

-

You knew it was a bad idea the moment you started. 

But the green-eyed monster got you when Declan told you he was going up to see Maud in “A Doll's House” in London.

Now, taking the kids up to London to see their mother perform? That you could have understood. 

You’re a reasonable woman. 

But there was nary a child in sight.

No, just the man you had been sleeping with for the last two months headed off to see his wife.

“I’m going for a meeting with the BBC about the Yeats Documentary, but if Maud finds out that I was in London and didn’t come see the show, she’ll murder me.”  

“Just one night,” He’d reassured you. Pressing a kiss to your temple. “You’ll hardly notice I’m gone.”

And like an idiot, you’d just smiled and nodded.

The pathetic behavior of a lovestruck idiot.

Because you’d spent the night alone watching Top of the Pops and eating a quart of Ice Cream in your flat. Painfully aware of Delcan’s absence in your evening, as you tried and struggled to sleep alone in your bed.

Only to wake up to a photo of Delcan and Maud posing on the front and center on the social pages.

His arm slung low around his waist as she plastered herself to his chest. Maud gave eyes to the camera while Declan stared straight down the lens.

Fine. 

Two could play that game. 

You were around The Priory with the others working on the Venturer project when Delcan’s ratty old hatchback pulled around the drive. 

“Bas, darling, can you help me with something?” You asked sweetly as you gestured for him to come over to your desk.

“‘Course,” He replied as he ambled over.

You smiled up at him sweetly, knowing that this would do the trick. 

“I’m afraid I just don’t seem to understand the rules,” You told Bas with a shake of your head as you jabbed your finger into the production plan for the Polo match they were supposed to be filming this weekend. “Can you explain them to me again? I want to make sure I have it down before we cover the match.”

Men were so easy.

It didn’t take some sort of vixen to figure out how to manipulate men. Just learning the simple fact that men liked to explain things to you.

And if there was one thing that Bas loved to talk about, it was Polo.

And before you knew it, he’d launched into an animated explanation. 

“The field is like the road, and each horse is a car. Just like on the road, you absolutely do not want to crash,” Bas explains as he leans over your shoulder, one arm braced on the back of your chair, the other holding your pencil, using the sheet of paper in front of you as a field as he drew little ‘x’s and ‘o’s all over it as he spoke. 

“Imagine the ball leaves an invisible, glowing trail behind it as it rolls, like a laser beam. The player who hit it last, or the player closest to it, owns that highway. If you are on defense, you cannot just cross that highway right in front of them. That is a massive foul because it causes head-on collisions. You have to safely merge lanes next to them.” You nodded along. Turning your face to the side as you looked up at Bas, catching sight of Declan across the room, right where he’d been when he’d first walked in. 

Still not making his way over to you. 

Fine. 

Then you’d keep playing your game.

“And who’s the chukker?” You asked as you blinked up at Bas. Bas chuckled. “Not a who. It’s the periods of play, darling, are you really that hopeless?” “‘Fraid so,” You replied with a shrug as you pouted up at him.

Bas shook his head.

“It’s a very uh- physical game. Should we talk through hooking now?” “What’s hooking?” You asked innocently.

Declan called your name out sharply. Too sharp and too loud for the room, which was saying something, given how rowdy this crowd got when they got working.

You and Bas both looked up sharply.

“A word?” Declan called out with a jerk of his head. You nodded.

“One sec, I’ll be right back,” You told Bas with a squeeze on his upper arm as you pushed out of your chair and moved to follow Declan as he pushed through the door into his actual office.

You didn’t stick around long enough to hear Bas’ response. If there is any. Because you don’t really care.

All you care about is Declan.

And what exactly he has to say for himself.

You close the door to his office firmly behind you. Crossing your arms over your chest as you step into the room to face Declan, where he’s already leaning against the edge of his desk, cigarette perched between his lips as he shakes his head at you.

“You are unbelievable,” He scoffed as he looked you up and down. “That was a cute little stunt out there.” “I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” You said slowly. “You’re not?” He asked, cocking his head to the side. “You’re not aware of the way you were gazing up at Bas like a little puppy dog?” “Are you a stray, pretty girl? A lost puppy looking for a new owner?” You frowned. A deep crease forming between your brows. 

You didn’t want to deign to answer that question.

“Bas was helping me with the plan for the polo match,” You told him. “I wasn’t aware I wasn’t allowed to work with our coworkers anymore.”

“You might be able to fool a man like Bas with the dumb little girl act, but I know you better than to try that with me,” Declan replied lowly. 

“Come here,” He ground out impatiently.

Your feet were carrying you forward before your brain could react. “Did you like it?” Declan murmured as his hand reached out, grasping at your hip as he pulled you up against him, “His hand on your back, his breath on the side of your face?” He murmured as he leaned forward, his lips ghosting over your cheek, your ear, and down to your neck, lips barely touching your skin, ghosting over your skin before he pulled away to look at you, waiting for your response. “No,” You replied with a quiet, shaky breath as you shook your head. “Then why’d you do it?” Declan asked. “Because I was mad at you, and I wanted to make you jealous,” You admitted in your small voice as your gaze dropped down to your shoes.

Declan frowned as he reached out for your chin, and tilted your head back up so your eyes had to reach his. “What did I do to deserve that?” “I saw the picture in the paper this morning, Declan,” You replied with a sigh.

“What?” Declan asked, leaning back against the desk, his brow furrowed in confusion. “There was a photo of you and her in the paper,” You replied. “Did you sleep with her last night, Delcan? After you saw her show?” You asked. Your voice gained volume and emotion as you looked back at him. All of the anxious thoughts from earlier this morning are coming fresh into your mind. “Are you going back to your wife?” “What?” Declan asked in disbelief. “I just want to know how much longer I have left with you,” You admitted in a bout of honesty you’d never prepared to admit aloud. 

How much you liked Declan. How much you wanted a future with him. And how scared you were of losing him. How it felt inevitable. “Are you kidding me?” Declan scoffed. “The picture is nothing. How many times do I have to tell you I’m not with her?” “That’s not what it looked like in that photo,” You replied stubbornly. “Fuck the photo!” Declan snapped. His voice louder than you were prepared for, and you jolted with a shudder of surprise at the volume. “I’m sorry, but fucking hell, it’s nothing! We’re over,” Declan continued. “She’s your wife, Delcan,” You replied. “I’d understand if you went back to her. I wouldn’t like it. But I’d understand.” “I won’t be a mistress,” You continued with a shake of your head.  “I-” “You are my everything,” Declan cut you off. “Don’t you understand?”

“What?” You asked. “It’s you,” Declan implored. “You. Not her. Not anymore. Not last night. And never again.” “Only you,” He reiterated.

You studied his eyes closely as you watched him speak. You knew when he was talking shit. But this… this was all true. Which was horrifying, and exhilarating, all at once.

“Promise?” You asked as a peek of a smile cut through. “Swear,” Delcan replied as he mirrored your grin with one of his own as he pulled you close and pressed a kiss to your lips.

Hungry and desperate and smiling.

And you were smiling too. “Then prove it,” You told Delcan when you pulled back for a breath of air.

Declan smirked down at you.

“Gladly,” He replied as the hand he had curled around the back of your neck trailed down your spine notch by notch until it palmed your ass as the hand on your waist pulled you up to straddle your legs on either side of one of his thighs.

A hand on either hip guided your hips through the motion of a slow grind against Declan’s thigh, the friction of his pant leg through your own pants, and all of the layers of clothing between him and the wet heat pooling between your legs was still enough to send a shock of pleasure through your body.

“I think you liked making me jealous,” Declan murmured in your ear as his hands slowly guided you to a steady grinding pace as your clit found purchase on the delicious sensation of the pressure of the drag down his leg. “Turning me into a man possessed.”

“Wanting to own you. Claim you. In front of everyone. Not caring who sees,” He continued as he pushed you down harder. 

“Who could walk into this room any minute and see you, pathetic and writhing on top of me, desperate for any release I’ll give you.” “Declan,” You whined.

“You like it,” He replied as he pressed his lips to yours again, kissing you soundly, slipping his tongue between your lips to explore your mouth. “You love it. What we have. And so do I. More than anything,” He said, breathless, when you broke apart again. “Fuck you’re so gorgeous, baby,” He groaned as he looked down at your still-moving hips.  “Those little sounds, and the way you take anything I give you.”

You whined again, high and needy as you felt the pressure begin to build. Fuck, you were so close.

“No other man could treat you like this,” Declan told you. “Bas could never get you this hot and bothered, all without even taking off your clothes, now could he?” “Dec, I’m close,” You gasped. “Come, baby,” He told you as he let you find just the right angle and pressure to come.

Your orgasm crested over you with a silent gasp for air as your back arched before you dropped your head into Delcan’s shoulder.

He rubbed his hands up and down your sides as you caught your breath.

“Take off your pants, baby,” He finally spoke.

You stepped off of him on shaky legs and unbuckled your belt, and then unbuttoned your trousers, pulling them and your now-soaked underwear off in one swoop before pulling your blouse over your head as well.

Almost completely naked, other than your bra, as you stood in front of Declan, still fully clothed, despite the fact that you could see the outline of his hard cock through his own trousers.

  Declan moved to flip your positions, turning you so that your ass pressed into the edge of the desk before he lifted you from under your ass to perch right on the edge of the desk. His large palms then moved to spread your thighs and expose your naked cunt to the cool air of his office.

“Fuck, so gorgeous for me,” Declan groaned as he dropped one hand to palm his cock through his pants before they came back up to rub up and down your thighs. “All swollen and wet.” “Dec-” But before you could protest to the teasing, Declan’s mouth dipped to the apex of your thighs and moved against you, his nose pressed into you as his tongue lapped at your hole. 

Devouring you.

A man possessed. 

Or maybe the more accurate description was a man starved.

Because he lapped at your hole and the release of your first orgasm, at your clit, and your whole core like he hadn’t eaten in days.

It was ferocious and unrelenting. 

Your second orgasm came on fast and hard. Rolling over you with a full body spasm as your thighs clenched over Delcan’s ears, refusing to release him until the aftershocks made their way through you like a current.

“Fuck, Declan,” You groaned when you finally felt like you’d caught your breath enough to speak.

“I know, baby, you’re doing so good,” He reassured you as he pushed himself up from his knees to kiss you.

The salty, tangy taste of your own come mixed with his spit and your own, as you kiss him soundly. But you were too keyed up to give it another thought. “I want you to fuck me,” You told Delcan softly. “And I will,” Declan replied as your hands began to fumble with his pants. “I’m going to make sure you never forget who you belong to.”

“Declan,” You protested as he swatted your shaky fingers away and ripped his pants open and shucked them down to his thighs, impatient as he pulled out the hard, hot length of his cock, wasting no time pressing the ruddy head against your still weeping hole, the spend of two orgasms leaking out. “You pull a stunt like that again, and I won’t be as nice about this,” He warned as he pushed into you, slow, but deep, as he pressed himself in until your hip bones met. And you felt impossibly full. The way you always did when Declan fucked you.

“I don’t need you to be nice,” You told him with a slight shake of your head as you urged your core to relax and allow Delcan to move.

“Good,” Declan replied as he began to move. The pace was fast and quick, frantic the way this whole reunion of sorts had been. You were desperate. But so was he. And it was hard to keep track of whose hands were where and whose mouth was kissing what, but you could feel him everywhere.

Delcan’s hands on your hips, squeezing your breasts through your bra, sucking on your neck, your collar bone, kissing your lips. While your hands fumbled for purchase in his hair, then his neck, before helplessly pawing at his back, raking your nails over him again and again as you slipped down the material of his shirt.

“Fuck, Declan, feels so good-” You groaned.

All of your sounds were met with groans of Delcan’s own, little moans and sighs matched by their equal, their opposite. 

Their partner.

“Tell me I’m the only one who can fuck you like this,” Declan told you. “Tell me.”

“You’re the only one,” You reassured him, the response coming quick and immediate. It wasn’t a thought. Or a consideration. He was. He was the only one you wanted. The only one you needed. 

“I’m gonna come,” Declan ground. The silent question of where hanging in the air between you as you moved to meet him, trying to chase your own climax. “Inside,” You replied as your hands dropped down to his hips, and moved to palm at his ass, helping push him deeper inside of you. “Inside?” Delcan asked. Like he’d hallucinated your answer. “Inside,” You confirmed with a nod as you gazed into his eyes, hoping that your own were expressing the truth of your statement to him. 

You wanted to feel him everywhere.

“Fuck, you’re so-” And then his hips stuttered, and you felt the hot release of him deep in you.

Your left hand moved to the apex of your thighs, finding your clit as Declan fucked a few more stuttered thrusts into you, fucking his come deep inside as you brought your own climax on with a shudder and a groan, clenching tightly around where Declan was still sheathed inside your core.

“Fuck,” You hissed as Delcan finally pulled out of you, the emptiness and the drip of both of your spend following. 

“You look so pretty like this,” Delcan murmured as he pressed a kiss to your temple.

“Maybe I should make you jealous more often,” You quipped.

“Bloody hell,” Delcan groaned. “That’s gonna be what you take away from this?”

[peterpparkrr]

Take It

Declan O’Hara x Reader

Summary: Declan gives you what you want.

A/N: Daddy? Huh? Daddy?

Warning: 18+, smut, fingering, light choking, technically dom/sub dynamics, bratty!reader, p in v intercourse, creampie (this is baby’s first standalone smut scene so puhlease be nice to me)

“Can you take it?” “Fuck,” You ground out. “Fuck! Yes. I can,” You hissed through clenched teeth.

You’d take anything this man would give you. 

And you would thank him for it.

Gladly. 

“How many fingers can you take?” Declan asked, his mouth level with your ear, his breath blowing against the stray hairs that were stuck to the sweat on your brow as two of his fingers pumped in and out of you at an almost relentless pace. You’d take as many as he’d give you.

“More,” You replied, your voice coming out stringy and pathetic. 

But you were too far gone to feel embarrassed about any of that. 

No, you just needed to come. “Yes, ma’am,” Declan obliged as he added a third finger, and stretched your weeping cunt impossibly wider. 

“Fuck,” You gasped as your hands flew up to Declan’s shoulders as you tried desperately to steady yourself on his solid form. Your legs were threatening to give out from where you were propped up on the edge of the kitchen counter.

“I thought you could take it? You just said you wanted more. Always bloody more with you,” Declan growled in a low rasp as his other hand left your hip and moved to cup your jaw and force your head to look up into his eyes. “If you want it, you’re gonna have to take it.” “Mmhmm,” You hummed.

Declan raised his eyebrows. “Use your words,” He instructed.

“Yes, sir,” You mouthed.

“Good,” he replied before his gaze dropped back down to where his fingers were hammering in and out of you, and you both had to listen to the graphic wet sound of it while you hummed out quiet moans.

“You gonna come?” Declan asked.

“Mmm,” You moaned.

Declan made a soft tsk noise as the hand on your jaw slipped down to your neck, where he pressed just enough to warn you.

“Yes, sir,” You corrected. “I’m going to come. I want to come.”

And you did. You were close.

And then Delcan’s thumb reached up to rub at your clit, and you saw stars.

“Come,” He commanded.

And with the way his hand was working you, you had no choice but to give in to the feeling and let your orgasm crest over you. The tension built up until your thighs school and you pushed to snap them closed, but Declan’s thighs kept them pressed open as he continued to fuck his fingers into you and work you through your orgasm. 

You came with a choked gasp as your eyes screwed shut.

“Fuck,” You gasped out.

“Good girl,” Delcan said as he finally pulled his fingers out of you, covered in your come. The feeling of emptiness was short-lived as you watched him bring those three fingers up to his mouth and suck them between his lips as you felt the gush of your wetness drip out of you.

“See, you could take it,” Declan told you once he popped his fingers out of his mouth.

“I did,” You replied.

“Do I get a prize?” You asked with a smirk.

“What do you want, pretty girl?” Declan asked as he cocked his head to the side.

You reached for the waist of his pants and pulled him into the crux of your legs, and reached for the seat of his pants to palm his cock. Already hard, just from getting you off. 

“Use your words,” He told you. “I want your cock, Declan,” You reply with an unamused roll of your eyes. “Oh, now you want to have an attitude? I thought I’d fucked that out of you with that orgasm you just had,” Declan asked. “And never even thanked me for.” “Thank you for the orgasm, Declan,” You replied with a roll of your eyes. “Now, can you please fuck me?” Your hands unbuckled his belt and moved to unbutton his pants, your fingers dipping eagerly into his boxers to grasp his cock and pull him out, giving him a few strokes before Declan pushed your hand aside and crowded you back up onto the counter.

“I’ll fuck you alright,” He replied as he guided the blunt head of his cock up to your core, taking a few slow swipes from your clit down to your hole.

“And you’re gonna take everything I give you, aren’t you?” “Yes,” You ground out as the head of his cock pressed against your entrance, a slow tease as he pushed into you with such agonizing slowness that you almost pressed your jaw into his shoulder and bit him to express your displeasure. “Because you’re such a good, good girl,” He replied as he finally pushed in, deep and true as his hips pressed to meet the flesh of your upper thighs. “I am,” You groaned at the fullness of it all. Completely filled to the brim with Declan.

The best feeling in the world. “So take it,” He replied.

And then he began to move. 

If you thought he’d change it up, you were dead wrong. 

No, instead began to thrust in and out of your weeping cunt with the same ferocious pace that he’d just fucked into you with your fingers. Your core gave way easily to his motions, thanks to the way his fingers head already stretched your cunt out and the lubrication your orgasm had supplied. It was effortless as he snapped his hips up into you again and again, never pausing, ever giving you a moment’s pause.

“Fuck,” You hissed as the burn began to build. 

“Yes!” You gasped. You would never get tired of this. You would never say no to this. The way that Declan gave in to you over and over again with passion and a complete lack of restraint.

Like a man starved.

You groaned again.

“You take me so well,” Declan praised you as he moved against you, his head coming down to the side of your face as he pressed a kiss to the side of your jaw before kissing you deeply as he continued to thrust hard and deep.

“I want you to come,” You told him as your forehead pressed against his, your head threatening to lolled forward. “I want you to come inside me, please.” “You begging?” He asked.

A tease. “Please, Declan,” You whined. “Please come in me.” “Fuck, pretty girl, you feel so good,” He muttered as he tipped his head back and closed his eyes. Like looking at you was too much. 

Would send him over the edge. “So good you’ll come?” You asked, unrelenting. You wanted it. More than anything. “Fuck,” He ground out as he pressed his thumb against your clit again, the tried and true technique to have your cunt clenching around him as he pushed the wave of another orgasm higher and higher.

“Didn’t know you could get this wet,” He commented as he worked you up to meet him. “But the thought of my cum painting the inside of this pretty wet cunt, that does it for you, doesn’t it?” “My little depraved girl,” He grinned. “Fuck, Dec-” You gasped, your words cut off by a sharp thrust right up against your g-spot had you seeing stars. “I’m gonna-” “I’ll come inside you if you’re a good girl and come for me,” Declan replied. And that’s all it took to send you over. 

Your vision flashed white as the haze of pleasure coursed through you, hot and bright and you came with a yelp.

Declan gave a few more stuttering thrusts into your quivering cunt before he came with a groan and pressed deep, holding himself there while you heaved for air and he stared down at your fucked out face, whisps of hair stuck to the sweat on your brow, entire face flushed, and eyes dark and wide as you looked up at him.

“Good girl,” Declan praised you with a grin. “Told you you could take it.”

[peterpparkrr]

Take It

Declan O’Hara x Reader

Summary: Declan gives you what you want.

A/N: Daddy? Huh? Daddy?

Warning: 18+, smut, fingering, light choking, technically dom/sub dynamics, bratty!reader, p in v intercourse, creampie (this is baby’s first standalone smut scene so puhlease be nice to me)

“Can you take it?” “Fuck,” You ground out. “Fuck! Yes. I can,” You hissed through clenched teeth.

You’d take anything this man would give you. 

And you would thank him for it.

Gladly. 

“How many fingers can you take?” Declan asked, his mouth level with your ear, his breath blowing against the stray hairs that were stuck to the sweat on your brow as two of his fingers pumped in and out of you at an almost relentless pace. You’d take as many as he’d give you.

“More,” You replied, your voice coming out stringy and pathetic. 

But you were too far gone to feel embarrassed about any of that. 

No, you just needed to come. “Yes, ma’am,” Declan obliged as he added a third finger, and stretched your weeping cunt impossibly wider. 

“Fuck,” You gasped as your hands flew up to Declan’s shoulders as you tried desperately to steady yourself on his solid form. Your legs were threatening to give out from where you were propped up on the edge of the kitchen counter.

“I thought you could take it? You just said you wanted more. Always bloody more with you,” Declan growled in a low rasp as his other hand left your hip and moved to cup your jaw and force your head to look up into his eyes. “If you want it, you’re gonna have to take it.” “Mmhmm,” You hummed.

Declan raised his eyebrows. “Use your words,” He instructed.

“Yes, sir,” You mouthed.

“Good,” he replied before his gaze dropped back down to where his fingers were hammering in and out of you, and you both had to listen to the graphic wet sound of it while you hummed out quiet moans.

“You gonna come?” Declan asked.

“Mmm,” You moaned.

Declan made a soft tsk noise as the hand on your jaw slipped down to your neck, where he pressed just enough to warn you.

“Yes, sir,” You corrected. “I’m going to come. I want to come.”

And you did. You were close.

And then Delcan’s thumb reached up to rub at your clit, and you saw stars.

“Come,” He commanded.

And with the way his hand was working you, you had no choice but to give in to the feeling and let your orgasm crest over you. The tension built up until your thighs school and you pushed to snap them closed, but Declan’s thighs kept them pressed open as he continued to fuck his fingers into you and work you through your orgasm. 

You came with a choked gasp as your eyes screwed shut.

“Fuck,” You gasped out.

“Good girl,” Delcan said as he finally pulled his fingers out of you, covered in your come. The feeling of emptiness was short-lived as you watched him bring those three fingers up to his mouth and suck them between his lips as you felt the gush of your wetness drip out of you.

“See, you could take it,” Declan told you once he popped his fingers out of his mouth.

“I did,” You replied.

“Do I get a prize?” You asked with a smirk.

“What do you want, pretty girl?” Declan asked as he cocked his head to the side.

You reached for the waist of his pants and pulled him into the crux of your legs, and reached for the seat of his pants to palm his cock. Already hard, just from getting you off. 

“Use your words,” He told you. “I want your cock, Declan,” You reply with an unamused roll of your eyes. “Oh, now you want to have an attitude? I thought I’d fucked that out of you with that orgasm you just had,” Declan asked. “And never even thanked me for.” “Thank you for the orgasm, Declan,” You replied with a roll of your eyes. “Now, can you please fuck me?” Your hands unbuckled his belt and moved to unbutton his pants, your fingers dipping eagerly into his boxers to grasp his cock and pull him out, giving him a few strokes before Declan pushed your hand aside and crowded you back up onto the counter.

“I’ll fuck you alright,” He replied as he guided the blunt head of his cock up to your core, taking a few slow swipes from your clit down to your hole.

“And you’re gonna take everything I give you, aren’t you?” “Yes,” You ground out as the head of his cock pressed against your entrance, a slow tease as he pushed into you with such agonizing slowness that you almost pressed your jaw into his shoulder and bit him to express your displeasure. “Because you’re such a good, good girl,” He replied as he finally pushed in, deep and true as his hips pressed to meet the flesh of your upper thighs. “I am,” You groaned at the fullness of it all. Completely filled to the brim with Declan.

The best feeling in the world. “So take it,” He replied.

And then he began to move. 

If you thought he’d change it up, you were dead wrong. 

No, instead began to thrust in and out of your weeping cunt with the same ferocious pace that he’d just fucked into you with your fingers. Your core gave way easily to his motions, thanks to the way his fingers head already stretched your cunt out and the lubrication your orgasm had supplied. It was effortless as he snapped his hips up into you again and again, never pausing, ever giving you a moment’s pause.

“Fuck,” You hissed as the burn began to build. 

“Yes!” You gasped. You would never get tired of this. You would never say no to this. The way that Declan gave in to you over and over again with passion and a complete lack of restraint.

Like a man starved.

You groaned again.

“You take me so well,” Declan praised you as he moved against you, his head coming down to the side of your face as he pressed a kiss to the side of your jaw before kissing you deeply as he continued to thrust hard and deep.

“I want you to come,” You told him as your forehead pressed against his, your head threatening to lolled forward. “I want you to come inside me, please.” “You begging?” He asked.

A tease. “Please, Declan,” You whined. “Please come in me.” “Fuck, pretty girl, you feel so good,” He muttered as he tipped his head back and closed his eyes. Like looking at you was too much. 

Would send him over the edge. “So good you’ll come?” You asked, unrelenting. You wanted it. More than anything. “Fuck,” He ground out as he pressed his thumb against your clit again, the tried and true technique to have your cunt clenching around him as he pushed the wave of another orgasm higher and higher.

“Didn’t know you could get this wet,” He commented as he worked you up to meet him. “But the thought of my cum painting the inside of this pretty wet cunt, that does it for you, doesn’t it?” “My little depraved girl,” He grinned. “Fuck, Dec-” You gasped, your words cut off by a sharp thrust right up against your g-spot had you seeing stars. “I’m gonna-” “I’ll come inside you if you’re a good girl and come for me,” Declan replied. And that’s all it took to send you over. 

Your vision flashed white as the haze of pleasure coursed through you, hot and bright and you came with a yelp.

Declan gave a few more stuttering thrusts into your quivering cunt before he came with a groan and pressed deep, holding himself there while you heaved for air and he stared down at your fucked out face, whisps of hair stuck to the sweat on your brow, entire face flushed, and eyes dark and wide as you looked up at him.

“Good girl,” Declan praised you with a grin. “Told you you could take it.”

[peterpparkrr]

guys... it's #wantingtofucktheoldman hours so send me your jack abbot and/or declan o'hara requests and i'll write some drabbles

[stachedmen]

Aidan Turner, Rivals 2x01

[peterpparkrr]

Heard It Through the Grapevine (ch. 3)

Pairing: Previous!Frank Langdon x f!Reader, Jack Abbot x f!Reader

Summary: Reader goes on a date. Word gets around the hospital.

Warnings: Kissing (and descriptions of tongues in mouths), medical inaccuracies, teasing/bullying, eternally unbetaed

ch. 1 / ch. 2

"Thank you, Jack," You replied with a nod as you grabbed the chart from his hands.

"Will I see you... later?" He asked quietly as he crossed his arms over his chest.

You smiled, your eyes flicked down to the tablet in your hands, the patient's chart still opened to where he’d transferred her over to you.

You guys had been dancing around each other for weeks. After he’d told you about his wife passing you’d felt awful, and he’d taken full advantage, teasing you at every opening. But now you’d been flirting at shift change for a few weeks, and Jack Abbot had started asking you out on dates.

There’d been an exchange of numbers. Texting. He’d sent you emojis that he definitely didn’t fully grasp how to use. It was all building up to something.

You’d been brushing him off lightly for a while. Lots of ‘maybe another nights’ or ‘I can’t this weekend, I already have plans.’

Because yes, you wanted to go out with him. But dating a coworker? Even one who wasn’t on the same shift, felt a little too close to home. Mixing personal and professional? It just felt dangerous. You’d tried the most lowkey version of that before, and it had all blown up in your face and was the reason you couldn’t be in the same room as Frank Langdon.

"I-" You stammered. 

"Just say yes," He pressed. "I know you want to," He added.

You sighed.

Fuck it. It’s not like this could go any worse than the Frank situation, right? I mean, Jack’s wife was dead. So he already had one up in that area.

So yeah, why not?

"Okay," You replied with a nod as you smiled at him softly. "Yeah."

If Jack was at all surprised that you’d finally relented, he didn’t show it; instead, he matched your smile with his own and nodded.

“Great, I’ll pick you up at eight,” He replied. “I’ll text you my address,” You told him with a smile.

“Looking forward to it,” Jack said before he turned on his heels and headed out.

Your gaze dropped down to the chart in your hands as you pretended to read it, scrolling even though you weren’t internalizing any of the words you were looking at, as you smiled to yourself. You couldn’t help it.

“Hot date?” McKay asked as she stopped beside you, nudging your shoulder with hers. You shook your head, but she saw the look on your face, and the way you’d watched Dr. Abbot leave.

And so did Frank.

Jack Abbot buzzed your apartment when he picked you up. No text from the car. No honk of the horn. He came up to the door and found your last name on the call box and buzzed you. 

You wouldn't have even known that that’s what was causing the horrific screech through your apartment if your father hadn’t used it when your parents helped you move to Pittsburgh four years ago.

“I’ll be right down!” You shouted into the box once you’ve located the call button. Grabbed your purse from the counter, pulled your shoes on as you rushed down the stairs.

“Hi,” You said as you came around the corner and pushed through the main door to your building’s entryway, your greeting sounding more breathless than you wanted it to. “Hey,” Jack replied when you. “You didn’t need to rush.” “Oh, no elevator, and I’m in horrible shape, so… I’m kind of permanently out of breath,” You told him, shrugging it off. “I would have invited you up but I was ready, and my new roommate is kind of…intense,” You added. “She’s a second-year surgery resident.”

There was really no need to add any additional information to that statement. 

Plus, you knew he was a transtibial amputee, and even if he was in good enough shape to run around the ED all shift long, you didn’t want to subject him to the three flights of stairs up to your door just to turn around and come right back down.

“I see,” He replied with a nod as he gestured to his car parked on the curb. Jeep Wrangler. Fancy. Expensive. 

You nodded appreciatively (mostly to yourself) as you hopped in. “Where are we going?” You ask once you’ve fastened your seatbelt. “I didn’t know what to dress for,” You added as you gestured down to your outfit. You’d figured a simple dress was safe. You couldn’t imagine Jack forcing you into some sort of physical activity after a full shift. “Well, you look amazing,” He replied as he glanced down at what you were wearing, for seemingly the first time. “Just dinner, thought it might be nice for us to just be somewhere that isn’t work.”

“That sounds nice,” You replied with a nod.

You’re glad you wore a dress. The restaurant is fancy. Like…more expensive than pretty much any restaurant you’ve even been to. The type of place your parents took you when you graduated from Med School. 

Maybe even nicer than that restaurant.

A special occasion type of place.

Which made your stomach flip in a strangely pleasant kind of way.

Until you’d been seated and handed a menu and the prices made your stomach drop in a very not-pleasant way.

“Jack…” You muttered as you glanced over the top of your menu at him. “What? I thought you liked Japanese food?” He asked as his brow furrowed in concern.

“I do, but…” “What’s wrong?” He asked as he leaned over the table. “This is too much,” You told him, shaking your head. “They’re charging $10 for one piece of sushi!”

“It’s very good sushi,” Jack replied with a shrug.

You stared back at him, unamused. “I’m a doctor, Bug, I can afford to splurge on dinner every once and a while,” Jack continued when he realized this was actually bugging you. “Especially on you,” He added wryly.

You groaned. This was a nightmare.

“Well, we’re splitting the check,” You finally stated as you set your menu down. Jack studied you for a moment. Like was considering if it was worth arguing with you. 

You raised your eyebrows at him in a silent challenge.

“How about I pay this time, and you pay next time?” He asked cautiously. Clearly he’d weighed his arguments carefully.

“Jack–” You started to protest. “You’re a fellow, you’re finally playing off your med school loans, right?” He asked.

You nodded. You’d probably be paying off your loans for the rest of your life. “I didn’t have any, the one good thing that came out of my time in the army,” Jack replied. “But Robby didn’t pay his off until he was forty,” “Forty?” You asked as you stared back at Jack with wide eyes.

Jack grinned.

“If you let me pay tonight just think of how much faster you’ll be debt-free,” He replied.

You looked at him with a faint look of distrust before you finally nodded in assent.

“Fine,” You told him. “But I’m paying next time.” “Next time,” Jack replied.

And then you realized what you’d said, and your cheeks were immediately hot. 

But, well, yeah. It was Jack, not some rando you’d met on Hinge or Bumble or whatever. You already liked him. And he already liked you, so you felt pretty confident that there would be a second date. 

And that you were going to have to plan your next date. Because you cannot relax sitting in a restaurant this fancy.

The rest of the date is a breeze. You both try very valiantly to not talk about work. And you probably make it about thirty, fourty-five minutes in talking about your families before it comes back to work because… well, it’s kind of the only thing either of you have.

But swapping horror stories with Jack is fun. He has great stories from his time as a resident and you tell him some of your most embarrassing stories from undergrad and med school.

“I never thought I’d be grateful that I went through med school at the turn of the century,” Jack replied, shaking his head after you finished a particularly horrific story about our classmates in med school starting a rumors about you being pregnant with the baby of the Head of Surgery at your teaching hospital (because you’d gained some weight, which, y’know, was super cool) – only for it to turn out that that same Head of Surgery really had gotten another one of your classmates pregnant during a year-long affair. 

“The war in Afghanistan might not have actually been that bad,” He told you.

Jack walked on the outside of the sidewalk (next to the street) when you were walking back to his car. 

He opened the car door for you. Let you pick the music.

You were feeling truly wooed.

“I had a really nice time,” You told Jack when he pulled up to your apartment building.

“Me too, I’m glad you said yes,” He replied. “Finally?” You bookended his sentence. 

You winced slightly when he didn’t deny it. 

“Sorry, I tend to get in my head about this kind of thing,” You admitted as you glanced over the center console at him. “What kind of thing is this?” Jack asked, curiously.

You paused for a moment. Because yeah, maybe on a surface level this was a bad idea. But you were glad you’d said yes. You liked Jack. And he liked you. 

He was a good person. Who seemed like he wanted to actually date you. Be in a relationship with you.

Which felt good. Really good. 

And negated a lot of the anxieties and fears you had. About dating coworker. A superior. All of the ways that that sort of relationship could blow up. Ruin your career. Ruin his. Make everything in your life miserable if you weren’t careful. “Complicated,” You finally settled on.

But none of it made you want it any less. 

Jack nodded. “Goodnight, Bug,” Jack replied. “You…you don’t want to come up?” You asked.

You couldn’t tell what he was thinking. His brow was furrowed.

“Generally I don’t expect it on the first date,” Jack replied. “I’m trying to uncomplicate this all for you as much as I can.” God, it just made you want to sleep with him even more. How was that even possible? “Oh,” You replied a bit stupidly.

“Yeah, of course, for sure. We can save that,” You told him with a nod. “But…I wouldn’t be mad about a goodnight kiss,” You added as you glanced up at him through your lashes. “Yeah? I think I can make that happen,” Jack replied as he reached across the center console and you leaned in to meet him, the pair of you meeting in the middle. Jack’s fingers tangled into your hair as used his fingers to tilt your face up and pressed his lips to yours.

Your heart was hammering in your chest as your hand found purchase on Jack’s forearm as you used that leverage to push yourself further up and deepen the kiss, your tongue slipping between his lips, exploring the hot heat of his mouth with a low groan as his fingers grasped at your hair and you felt desire pool in your belly.

God, you wanted to do terrible, unspeakable things to this man.

Which was apparently not on the table for tonight. So you slowly pulled away, releasing your grasp on him as he disentangled his hand from your hair.

“Good night, Jack,” You murmured as you opened the door “Good night, Bug,” Jack replied, sounding just as wrecked as you felt (and probably looked).

Yeah. Maybe this was complicated. But you hadn’t felt this good in a long.

“So… you and Dr. Abbot, huh?” Princess asked as you paused beside her chair to find a tablet that wasn’t already dead.

Was it really so hard to put these back correctly so that they charged? You stared back at her silently. Partly as an intimidation tactic, and mostly to buy yourself time as you try to figure out what kind of response will get you through with the fewest follow questions (and limit workplace gossip). 

“We went on one date,” You finally replied. 

The fewer words, the better, but the more specific you could be, the less likely that Princess could spin it into something spectacular.

“And?” She pressed as she leaned forward on her elbows, not even pretending that she wasn’t fishing for gossip. 

At least Princess was honest about the game. “It was nice? We’re going to see each other again?” You replied with a shrug. “Did you two…” Princess asked before trailing off meaningfully. “That is definitely none of your business,” You replied, shaking your head in disbelief as you more frantically tried to find a working tablet and an excuse to leave this conversation. “Oh my God, you totally did! What it good? Was he good? He looks like he’d be-” Princess exclaimed. “We kissed, nothing else,” You replied, quickly cutting her off. “So calm down,” You added.

Princess pouted back at you, clearly disappointed.

“But yeah, it was good,” You told her with a grin, leaving her to squeal as you walked away, shaking your head.

“You’re in a good mood,” Frank commented casually when he caught you in the hallway on your way to the bathroom. “Date went well?” He asked.

“Frank,” You warned as your steps faltered, shooting him a suspicious look. You did not like this.

“Just trying to make small talk with a colleague,” He replied defensively. “I thought that’s what you wanted.” “I think we remember that conversation very differently,” You shot back. “How do you even know about the date?” “He asked you out in the middle of the floor, everyone knows about it,” Frank replied with a shrug. “I’m pretty sure Princess sent out some sort of hospital-wide mass text.”

“Great,” You huffed.

“If you wanted to keep your relationship private, Abbot’s not the best option,” Frank added. “Not sure the man has a subtle bone in his body.”

“I don’t remember asking you for your advice, Frank,” You replied.

“I’m not the one eye-fucking an Attending where everyone can see!” He whispered in your ear.

You shivered in spite of yourself.

“Stop,” You snapped.

“Just saying! Dating a coworker…” He trailed off, but not before waggling his eyebrows at you in another gesture that you did not appreciate. “We’re done with this conversation, Frank,” You told him as you moved to step away. “I just think it’s interesting,” He called out after you. “Go away!” You hissed as you whipped your head around before making a beeline for the bathroom and locking yourself in the single stall.

Maybe it was just light-hearted teasing. The kind of conversation that coworkers could have with each other. Maybe even in a different series of events, coworkers who used to hook up could also enjoy that kind of banter.

But every barb from Frank felt like it found your softest, most vulnerable spot. And you didn’t know how to make that stop. 

You hated it. And you hated him.

How he made you feel.

“Dr. Robby!” You called out when you finally spotted your Attending across the department.

“Yeah?” Robby asked, his glasses already starting to slip off his nose, and his entire face looking like he’d been up for way too long. Which was not a good sign, since you were barely an hour into your shift.

“Can I get your opinion on a case?” You asked as he came up to match your strides. “I’ve got a 6-year-old child presenting with high fever, vomiting, and a rigid, tender abdomen.” “Diagnosis?” Robby asked. “Well, it could be appendicitis, but it could also be DKA. I sent chem labs to rule out the latter, but they’re not back,” You replied. “But if it’s appendicitis, we need to move quickly. Should I call surgery for the consult now? Or wait until labs come back? I’m just…I don’t want to be the fellow who cried wolf if we don’t need them,” You admitted, wringing your hands nervously. Surgeons were notoriously difficult, and if you got in the habit of calling for them when you didn’t need them… they’d never answer your calls again. The power-hungry jerks. 

“You can wait for the labs,” Robby replied softly. “But I’d stay in the room, I’ll get them fast-tracked, and we’ll call surgery if they’re negative. But you’re right, this could go south fast, so babysit the patient until we know, no sudden movements, right?” “Right,” You replied with a nod. “Thanks, Dr. Robby,” You added. “It’s what I’m here for,” Robby replied with a wry smile. “I'll bring you those lab results as soon as they’re back.”

You’re sitting in with your 6-year-old playing ‘Would you rather’ when Robby knocks on the door fifteen minutes later. 

“Good call on holding the consult,” Dr. Robby confirmed when you stepped out into the hallway. 

“Kid’s blood glucose and metabolic acidosis are sky high. And there are elevated ketones in the urine sample.” “DKA,” You replied with a nod.

Robby nodded.

“I’ve ordered the insulin, Perlah will be over with it any second,” He told you. “Do you want me to come talk to the parents?” “No, I got it,” You replied with a shake of your head. “Great, and can you find me when you’re done?” He asked. “Sure,” You replied with a nod before catching Perlah over Robby’s shoulder and nodding for her to follow you into the room.

All things considered, it was one of the easier conversations to have with parents. A pediatric diabetes diagnosis was serious, but not life-threatening in any way, not now that they’d caught the DKA, begun treatment, and made the diabetes diagnosis. And your patient’s parents seemed to take it all in stride once you explained that you’d made a referral to a pediatric endocrinologist as well as several recommendations for diabetes care and education specialists, nutritionists, and mental health professionals to navigate the emotional and social challenges of a diagnosis.

“What’s up?” You asked Robby when you finally cornered him an hour later by the vending machines.

“Just wanted to check in,” Robby replied. “How are you settling in?” “Huh?” You asked. Completely lost. Had you looked particularly lost earlier? “New fellowship, as one of your mentors, I feel like we should check in. How are you feeling?” Robby asked as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh, yeah,” You replied. That made sense. “No, it’s been good, really good,” You assured him.

“Yeah? No one’s giving you a hard time? I know this is probably a big shift from what you’re used to up in Peds,” He replied. “No,” You replied quickly. God, that was the last thing you needed. Robby thinking something was happening. Or had happened. Knowing any version of the truth.

“I mean, it is different, but I like it. And no one’s giving me a hard time,” You told him. “Are you sure?” Robby pressed.

You stared up at him. Trying to figure out what he wanted. What he knew. If he knew. But his expression was unmovable. Unreadable. “I’m not sure what you’re trying to get at, Langdon’s and I just butt heads sometimes, but it’s not-” You finally replied. “I’m not talking about Langdon,” Robby replied with a shake of his head. “Unless there’s an issue with Langdon. Then I absolutely need to know.”

Shit.

Fuck. “No, there’s not,” You quickly replied. “So then what are you trying to ask me about?”

Robby looked over at you. Clearly, he wanted to be having this conversation even less than you did. Which didn’t necessarily bode well for you.

“Sometimes, subordinates feel a certain pressure when a superior expresses interest,” Robby said very slowly. “They might even agree to-”

Wait. Is that what this was about?

Your date with Jack? “This is about Jack?” You asked. “If anything Jack has said or done has made you uncomfortable, or if you have in any way felt pressured to reciprocate-” Robby ground out as he looked up at the fluorescent lights on the ceiling, like he was hoping the linoleum floors would open up and swallow him up.

Kind of like how you were feeling.

“Dr. Robby, I really appreciate your concern,” You told him. “Even if it’s definitely coming from a script that Gloria gave you.” “But I’m not a med student. I’m not even a resident anymore. And Jack isn’t my superior. Not really. So what’s the issue?” You asked.

“I’m just doing my due diligence, there’s been some talk coming from the rumor mill, and I’m obligated to-” “We’re two consenting adults, so I don’t think it’s really anyone’s business,” You cut him off.

“If you’re engaging in a uh…sexual relationship, then I do have a form that I need both of you to fill out,” Robby added.

No, now was when you wanted the floor to swallow you up.

“Then you’ll be the first one to know when we finally fuck,” You said before you realized the words that were leaving your mouth, and your eyes went wide with the realization you’d just snapped at your fellowship mentor. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I said that, Dr. Robby,” You stammered out. “I know you didn’t write the policy.” “I know, I hate this just as much as you do,” Robby replied, shaking his head. “I wish that made me feel better.” “Would it make you feel better to know that after you leave today, I have to have this same conversation with Jack?” “Maybe, a little,” You admitted, cracking a small smile. “He’ll probably handle it better than me. You’re friends.”

Not just work friends. Best friends. Robby had starred in several of Jack’s best stories. Which would have been cute if it were hard to shake the fact that Robby was your boss.

“I think that’s going to make it worse, at least for me,” Robby replied. “Which, yeah, will probably make sure that Jack enjoys it.” “He has no shame,” You confirmed. “I hope you know that even though Jack’s a friend, if anything crosses a line, you can still come to me,” Robby told you. “Mentorship comes before friendship in my book.” “Good to know,” You replied with a slow nod. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Robby nodded in return before clearing his throat and handing you two pieces of paper. “I’m going to give these forms to you now so that you can fill them out and give them to HR whenever you need to, and we don’t ever have to speak of this again,” He told you.

You stared down at the form and read its header, “Relationship Disclosure Form,” before quickly folding them in on themselves and shoving them in the pocket of your scrubs.

“Appreciate it, Dr. Robby,” You replied. Mostly referring to the knowledge that you would ever have to have this conversation again. Robby pressed his lips together tightly before nodding at you.

“You’re a good doctor,” He added before catching sight of a trauma coming through the doors and patting you on the shoulder as he passed by to head that way.

[peterpparkrr]

So Easy (To Fall In Love)

Pairing: John Shen x Nurse Practitioner!Reader

Summary: The new Night Shift Attending and the Night Shift’s Nurse Practitioner are both idiots.

Warnings: flirting in the workplace, nurse/doctor dynamic (which isn’t really an issue but idk), patient violence against healthcare workers (no one is injured), a kiss!

A/N: Dr. John Shen my unproblematic king! I fear I need everyone who works the night shift expeditiously.

“Want some?” Shen asked as he sidled up to you in the central hallway, matching your stride as you poked your head in on each patient, checking in to see if anyone needs anything or if any of the patients’ conditions have altered significantly.

“No, I’d rather die than drink your pond water,” You scoffed in response with a dismissive wave of your hand over his offensively large iced coffee-latte-thing from Dunkin. “Thank you.” “You’re the one drinking carcinogens in a can,” He replied as he pointed at the can in the front pocket of your scrub top.

“You and I both know that that study was debunked,” You replied as you glanced down at the can you just grabbed from the vending machine. It was still slightly cool; the press against your abdomen through your scrub top and undershirt was a silent reminder that if everything was fine, you could actually sit down for a moment any minute now. “Whatever you say, princess,” Shen replied with a shrug. “I’ve got a gnarly degloved finger in Central 8 if you want to stop by, watch me work my magic,” He offers casually as he splits off from you, doing a turn to give you that stupid half-smile he always offers everyone before righting himself and getting back to his job. “Shut up,” You called out after him. Absolutely no bite to your words at all.

As if you would give up the unspoken quiet and use this rare and beautiful downtime to watch him perform a procedure you’ve watched be performed countless times in your career. 

You sat at the station closest to C8 and crack open your Diet Coke, not turning around even once as you quietly sipped your soda and listened to the slightly muffled walkthrough that Dr. Shen is giving one of the med students as he walks her through the case and the thought process behind each step.

-

“You two are… unbelievable,” Mateo told you with a shake of his head when you came over to bug him at his station after finishing up with Shen on a tricky foreign object removal from the eye socket. 

Staple gun - 1. Your patient - 0.

Once you’d managed to calm the patient down and reassured him that if he stayed still long enough for you to actually help him, you would be able to remove the staple and ensure that he did not lose his eye or do any further damage to it. 

It had been nasty, and you wanted to tell Mateo all the details and see if you could get him to vomit. “Huh?” You asked instead. Your brows furrowed in confusion as you stared back at Mateo blankly.

“You and Shen,” Mateo replied. “It’s like disgusting.”

“Shut up,” You scoffed. “Donnie said he saw you two making eyes over that dude while he kept asking if he was going to be able to play pick up basketball ever again.”

“He was fine, just anxious, and I was running through proper removal technique with Dr. Shen,” You replied, shaking your head.

“Yeah, right,” Mateo replied. “You never get that close to me when you’re wanting my help,” He replied, his tone strangely clipped.

“I think you’re just jealous that I have work friends other than you,” You argued. “Especially since Javadi has been noticeably less giggly in your presence recently.”

“Yeah, right,” Mateo scoffed. But you saw his jaw tick slightly. Got’em.

“It’s okay, you can just admit you’re jealous,” You called out over your shoulder as you head off to check on a head lac. “And I have other work friends, too!” Mateo shouted  after you, sounding incredibly desperate. Which delighted you to no end. “And we’re not just work friends, we’re best friends!”

“Whatever you want to keep telling yourself!” You shouted back, laughing all the way back to triage.

-

“Fractured shoulder in South 13 for you,” Lena told you. 

“Lovely,” You replied with a sigh as you grabbed the tablet from her outstretched hand.

“I do my best for you, darling,” Lena replied. “Shen is the assigned physician.”

“Oh,” You replied a bit stupidly as you glanced down at the chart. “Oh,” Lena repeated back with a lilting tease. “Don’t say I never did anything for you, sweetheart.” “Aww, I knew you loved me best, Lena, baby!” You replied as you headed off, blowing her a kiss on your way. Only to be intercepted on your path by the very same doctor you were needing to find. 

“How come you never call me baby?” He asked with a pout.

“Do you want me to call you baby, Dr. Shen?” You asked after a moment.

“Maybe,” he replied. “Okay, baby,” You replied. “Let’s get this shoulder fracture worked up, then.” You stepped into the room and were already greeting the patient, which meant that you completely missed the way that John Shen buffered in the doorway like an ancient MacBook.

-

“Wanna teach a new intern how to do horizontal mattress sutures?” Shen asked as she strolled past your station, half-drunk Dunkin’ in hand. “Do I?” You asked as you glanced up at him over the top of your monitor. 

You did not.

But Shen was making sad puppy dog eyes at you when you looked up at him. “Please just say yes,” He replied with an added little pout. “Fine,” You muttered with a sigh. Jesus Christ, you were pathetic. Nazely smiled at you apologetically from where she was attached to Shen’s hip. “You’re an angel,” Shen replied with a grin as you forced yourself up and out of your chair. Falling into matched step beside him as he led you through the ED. “A princess, a goddess amongst men.”

“I know,” You replied dryly. “Have you ever done a horizontal mattress suture?” You asked as you turned to the Night Shift’s new intern. If only to get Shen to stop talking to you like that in front of a new coworker.

“No, but I’ve seen videos online,” Nazely replied. Blessedly refraining from asking any questions about the strange dynamic you knew you and Shen had.

You liked her already.

“It’s way more fun in person,” You told her with a grin as Shen pushed through into the C4 and the two of you followed.

“Hey there, Mr. Stein, I’ve got two of our best with me to get you stitched up and on your way,” Shen announced as you both smiled and greeted the patient. 

Mr. Stein held up a limp hand in greeting, and you could see the bandage wrapped over the space between the thumb and pointer finger of his left hand. Yep. Definitely gonna need a horizontal mattress.

“Let’s get you stitched up, Mr. Stein,” You told him with a smile as you pulled the suture materials out and started laying the tray. 

“Dr. Nazely Toomarian,” You prompted as you placed them on the table you’ve pulled up to the bedside as you helped Mr. Stein lay his hand down comfortably and flat, along with pulling up a rolling seat for each of you to sit on.

“Where do we start?” You asked her gently, prompting her with the questions you usually hear one of the Attendings or Senior Residents ask the students.

“Clean and numb the area,” Nazely replied.

You grinned.

“Exactly, we’ve got antiseptic and a syringe with 30 ccs of lidocaine with epinephrine and inject into the edges of the wound on both sides,” You explained aloud as you unwrapped, cleaned, and then numbed the wound.

“The suture gets its name from the way the needle passes through the tissue in a horizontal direction, like a mattress being stitched. I don’t really get it. Don’t ask. It involves taking bites on both sides of the wound, with a horizontal “under the skin” pass in between,” You continued. “Why do we use this type of suture on this particular wound?”

“The skin is under tension, it’s pulling apart. And this is a stress area, lots of movement,” Nazely replied. “Correct,” You replied with a nod. “So, I’m going to lift up the skiing edge and insert the needle perpendicular to the skin surface. With this one we’re going about four millimeters away from the edge. If it’s higher-tension you increase the bite size.”

“Then we cross the wound. Rotate the wrist, to go through the dermis.”

“Secure the needle, enter the second side,” You continue to explain out loud as you work. “Insert the needle perpendicularly through the dermis from the inside out, using the needle’s curve and wrist supination for smooth passage. Ensure both bites on either side have similar depth and distance from the wound edge for even closure.”

“Comple the first throw, and then we bury the next bite, make sense?” You asked. “Yeah,” she replied with a nod.

You glanced over your shoulder at Shen and he just smiled and threw up a low thumbs up.

“Reload the needle with the point facing away from you. Aim to create another horizontal throw about ten millimeters down from the first one. This is the buried bite and it will travel under the skin and back to the original entry point for knotting.”

“And then we do the same thing going back the other way. Come back to where we started, and tie the knot. Boom.”

“Woah,” Nazely replied.

“Now we follow those steps down the length of the wound to close completely,” You told her. “Any questions?” You ask as you glanced back up at her. “No, no, that makes sense,” She replied. “Good, now it’s your turn,” You told her as you flipped the forceps around to her.

She looked up at you with wide eyes but took the tools from you. After a few minutes she got into the flow and managed all the steps without asking you constantly if she was doing it right. Which was awesome.

“You’re a good teacher,” Shen told you as you two stepped out of the room, leaving Nazely to finish her notes. “Thank you,” You replied. Suddenly feeling strangely shy. “I’ve learned from some of the best.” “Aww,” He cooed as a hand came up to his heart. “Lena and Dana,” You replied.

“Oh,” he muttered.

“And watching some very impressive Attendings,” You added. “Dr. Abbot is just so good at his job.” 

“Shut up,” Shen scoffed as he knocked his shoulder against yours. 

“And this other kind of lame doctor I know,” You told him with a sidelong glance.

-

“I need hands for an incoming trauma,” Dr. Abbot announced as he tapped on the counter in front of you, pulling you and Shen out of your very intense debate over whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza. The kind of stupid stuff that only people awake and working at three in the morning and sad people on the internet are still arguing about.

“Whatdya say?” Shen asked as he turned back to you with a grin, grasping your hands in his. “Will you do me the honor of scrubbing in with me?” He faux-proposed dramatically.

“Please stop flirting with nurses in front of the residents,” Abbot told Shen with a frown. Deeply unamused. “Just one nurse,” Shen protested. Very mildly protested. With a grin on his face.

“Ohkaaaay,” You muttered as you inched your chair away from Shen slightly.

“Well, I need both of you, so no talking,” Abbot said as he jerked his head toward the ambulance bay doors.

“But then how will we know what to do?” You asked innocently as you moved to stand. “No talking about anything other than the patient,” Abbot grumbled.

“Yes, sir,” You replied as Shen mock saluted him beside you.

He walked away muttering something under his breath. You can’t help but count your lucky stars that your union makes it borderline impossible for you to be fired due to your teasing of Senior Attendings. 

-

“Sir, I understand that you’re frustrated,” You stated firmly as you took a big step back toward the open door, your body turned slightly as you moved your hands slightly in front of your body, fingers outstretched.

“No!” “Please, Sir, I understand that you are angry, but I can only help you if you sit back down and then stay still,” You repeated. Keeping your voice low and soft. As soothing as you can manage.

“I won’t do anything without explaining it first, but I can’t do any of that if you’re not willing to 

“Hey!” Shen shouted from the doorway.

The sudden loud noise shocked your patient like an electrocution. Without pause he lunged forward toward the door. You stepped in between them on pure instinct. All of your training kicked in, self-defense classes you’d signed up for with Vivi and Princess, de-escalation training from the hospital, and your innate need to keep your coworkers safe. 

To keep John safe.

Your forearm whipped up and pushed outward, rotating your patient’s punch up and away as you pressed back against John, using your back to push him back into the doorway as your arms flew back up, elbows outstretched to push back and give you some space before your patient could react.

“We need help over here!” You called out as you continued to edge backward. Ahmad, one of the other security guards, and several nurses rushed over and you helped them restrain your patient long enough for Lena to bring you the sedative.

Once your patient is out and you’ve got him back on the bed, and the whole ordeal is somewhat calmed down - relaying what happened to Abbot, and then again to Lena - several times as she asks you soft question after gentle prodding (seriously, if Lena asks you one more time if you’re okay, maybe you will start crying) you head to the break room for your fifteen minute Lena-mandated break.

When you whip open the door Shen is already there. Sipping on his iced coffee and staring at the doorway like he was just waiting for you to come in.

“Oh, hey,” You stammered out as you stepped in, letting the door close behind you.

“Hey, I got you this,” He said as he held out a can of Diet Coke for you to grab. 

“Thanks,” You replied as you grabbed it. You tap it against your palm gently. Unsure of what to say. Or do.

“That was crazy,” John finally said as he looked up at you, his face calm, bordering on unemotional. “Yeah,” You replied with a nod as you finally slump down in the chair next to him.

“Crazy that you’re totally obsessed with me,” John continued.

“Shut up,” You hissed. “What you did was so stupid! Don’t you pay attention in the de-escalation training?” “Of course not, they’re way too early,” John replied with a shrug. “John,” You replied with a frown. Did he seriously not get how serious this was? “Why would I need to? Now that I know that you’re going to be my knight in shining armor whenever I get into a scrape,” He continued.

You want to say something. To point out again that what he did was stupid. That he could have been hurt. That you could have ended up hurt, caught in the crossfire. It wouldn’t be the first time a patient got the drop on you.

“Hey,” John finally said when he glanced over and saw the look on your face. “Hey, look at me.”

“Sorry, I want to do bits, I just think that kinda freaked me out more than I realized,” You admitted to him with a sigh.

“Of course, I’m sorry, Normally I’m pretty good at reading the room,” He replied.

“That – you protecting me– was hot,” He stated firmly. “And also was a situation that I don’t ever want to see you in again.” “John, half of that was your fault!” “I know, I know!” He replied, his hands held up in front of him in surrender. “But seriously, I learned my lesson, and I just want to make sure that you’re okay.”

“I’m okay,” You told him with another sigh. “Could be better, but ultimately okay.”

“What would make you feel even better?” He asked as he looked at you. “Other than that junk,” He gestured toward your still unopened Diet Coke.

“I dunno,” You replied with a shrug. “A kiss?”

“From anyone in particular? Because I think Abbot with a patient, but I could interrupt-”

“You know who,” You replied, cutting him off.

“Can you please say it? Just for my own ego?” He asked as he looked at you with his head slightly cocked to the side and a shit-eatting grin that would be pissing you off right about now if you didn’t find everything this guy did so oddly endearing. “I want you to kiss me, John Shen,” You tell him as you cock your own head to the side. “So what are you going to do about it?” “This,” He said as he reached for one of the chair legs beneath you before pulling your chair toward him until your face were a few inches apart. And then he kissed you.

“Now, was that so hard?” You murmured against his lips. And you felt his smile as he kissed you again.

[watchtowerlibrary]

AHHHHHH how does anyone get any work done with those two flirting like a menace??? Those two are just too cute.

[peterpparkrr]

Oh, you already know most of the night shift is turning around and walking the other direction the moment they see the two of them together!

[dailyflicks]

AIDAN TURNER as DECLAN O'HARA in RIVALS (2024)

[wuntrum]

so true ayo edebiri

[peterpparkrr]

Heard It Through the Grapevine (ch. 2)

Pairing: Previous!Frank Langdon x f!Reader, Jack Abbot x f!Reader

Summary: Reader doesn’t have time to deal with Frank’s bullshit; she’s too busy dealing with the true horror of her life: Her post-residency job search.

Warnings: Reader does some spiraling, career-related anxiety, medical inaccuracies up the wazoo, Abbot will not be endgame (aka this is only the beginning of the angst), unbetaed as hell

A/N: Most of this chapter was spurred by the 2 months I spent unemployed at the start of the year lol (but luckily I’m gainfully employed again, so take that job market!)

Read ch. 1 here!

“Hey, Bug,” Blessing greeted you with a smile as you popped out of the elevator. “You okay?” She asks when she sees the look on your face.

Shit.

“Yeah, I’m okay, it’s just…it’s so intense down there,” You told her, shaking your head as you leaned against the counter, trying your best to fix your face. “Well, you’re back at the bottom of the list now, so hopefully it’ll be a few days before you have to head back down there,” She replied. “Honestly, I don’t know how they can get anything done down there. I’d lose my mind trying to wrangle that chaos.”

“Dana is a saint amongst women,” You replied with a nod. She also kind of scared you, but then again, so did Blessing. And she was the best charge nurse you’d ever worked with.

“She’s just as crazy as the rest of them,” Blessing replied with a shake of your head. “I don’t know how she does it. Or why.”

“ER doctors get pulled from task A to task B every three to five minutes,” You told her before you could even process where that fun fact had come from. But the moment it came out of your mouth, you realized who had told you that delightful little fun fact.

Who else? Frank Langdon.

You felt your face blanch. But thankfully, Blessing hadn’t noticed.

“That’s what I mean! How can you get anything done working like that?” She replied with a shake of your head. “And you know it’s even worse for those nurses, and they get absolutely no thanks.”

“You gossiping about the ED again?” Andrew asked as he sidled up to you, his shoulder bumping against yours as he grinned over at Blessing.

“You’re next for the consult list,” Blessing reminded him with a warning look.

“That’s resident work, I’m an Attending now, remember?” Andrew replied. Clearly not taking the warning to heart. But why would he? He’d managed to finish his residency at the exact moment that Dr. Michel had retired. Clearly, whatever entity was ruling over this mortal plane had his best interests at heart. 

And definitely hated you. “That is not how this works, Andrew,” You protested.

“That’s Dr. Lee to you, Bug,” Andrew replied with a frown. “I’m your Attending now, remember?” 

Blessing frowned at him, raising her eyebrows in a silent warning. “Hard to forget when you’re constantly reminding me,” You shot back as you pushed yourself off the counter. “I’ve gotta check on my patients, is that all right, Dr. Lee?” You asked mockingly. “Go right ahead,” Andrew replied, ignoring your jab.

Over the next few days, you figured out how to calm down. It was relatively simple. You and Frank seemed to have silently, mutually agreed that any time you were in the same general vicinity, you wouldn’t so much as look at each other. No speaking. No engagement whatsoever.

And so far, avoiding each other was working.

And yeah, your nervous system had developed an annoying habit of reacting to the sight of him, but you’d figured out how to get your stomach to stop dropping.

No talking meant no fighting. So, you know. Small victories or whatever.

"Did you get all of your applications sent in?" Dr. Lastra asked as she paused beside you.

Maureen Lastra was the head of the Pediatric Department. And your personal idol. Everything you wanted to be when you grew up. A brilliant, kind, respected doctor. When you'd started your residency, a brand new, baby doctor, you'd taken one look at all five feet of the middle-aged woman with her stern frown and decided to imprint on her like a baby bird.

And she was nice enough to put up with it. 

Most of the time.

"I did, now I just need to hope and pray that I get one of them," You told her with a nod. 

You'd gotten your rec letters from her and Andrew a few weeks ago and sent off all of your applications immediately. You were just starting to hear back from a handful of the hospitals. 

"Otherwise, I guess I'm moving upstate to start my own practice in the woods," You added.

"Well, I heard a rumor that there's a new fellowship getting put together here, at PTMC," She told you with a slight quirk of her lips. A sort of half-smile. Maybe more like a quarter? But that Quarter smile? That was a rare sight around here. And so that could only mean one thing. She was really happy. Like, deeply pleased.

"Wait, really?" You asked. Pausing in the middle of typing out your orders as you slowly turned to fully look at her. 

Dr. Lastra was never mean. She didn't have it in her, even when people really fucked up. 

Which meant that she was telling the truth. 

But a fellowship at PTMC? That almost felt too good to be true. Most of the hospital’s programs weren’t remotely related to Pediatrics.

You'd applied to every pediatric fellowship and attending position in the Greater Pittsburgh Area in hopes you wouldn't have to move, but you'd been networking for years and knew the likelihood of getting the spots at Presby or Mercy were low; they had their own gifted residents to put forward for the roles. And Andrew had been brutally honest with you, hospital positions in peds were few and far between, not just in the area, but at pretty much every trauma center in the country. Even with your credentials, there was no guarantee of a single spot. 

Your best bet right now was a few roles in Chicago, one of your professors from med school was out there, and you'd been checking in with her regularly; she was hoping to get you in at her hospital.

But the chance to stay at PTMC, to stay in peds? That would be....

"It's still in the early stages, but I've been talking to Dr. Robby, down in the ED, and we're proposing a new fellowship to the board next week,” Dr. Lastra continued. “Emergency Pediatric Care Fellow. I know it's maybe not exactly what you're looking for, but I think you would excel. You can handle the fast-paced work, and it would still be research-based. And those crisis cases you're always looking for would come right through the ED door."

You just stared at her, mouth slightly open.

Was this really happening?

"We'd like it if you would consider applying," She added. “You’d be a great fit.”

"Wait, you'd recommend me for it?" You asked as you blinked at her a bit dumbly. 

"Yes, Andrew, Robby, and I would all endorse your application if you apply. We think if we showcase your preexisting research, we can hopefully get this to speedrun through the approvals and have it up and running for when you finish your residency," She told you. “There’s a lot of untapped potential with your work. With you.”

"Really?" You asked. Your voice came out a bit squeakier than you meant it to, the emotions bubbling in your chest threatening to spill over.

Did Dr. Lastra really think you were worth all of that?

Maybe whoever was up there in the heavens playing with you all like Barbie dolls didn’t have it out for you after all.

"Can you meet with Dr. Robby and me next week? We can nail down the details. We're still coming up with the proposal, but I wanted to make sure it aligns with what you’re looking for before you put the time into an application.”

"Yes! Thank you! Seriously, you don't know how much it would mean to me if I could stay here," You told her with an eager nod.

"I know," She replied with another sort of smile. "We don't want to lose you either."

"Dr. Robby," You greeted the older man as you stepped into Dr. Lastra’s office, shaking her hand before moving to shake his as he stood from his chair. “It’s nice to see you.”

Dr. Robby greeted you with a warm smile, his eyes crinkling around the edges.

“So, tell me more about this fellowship,” You said as you sat down across from both of them.

“We want to build a Pediatric program in the ED. It’s something that we’re lacking as a hospital,” Dr. Robby told you. “Dr. Lastra and I have been discussing it for a few years, but there’s never been the interest. Or the bandwidth from anyone in either department to take it on alone.”

“But then we realized we could build it together; we’d both serve as mentors for the fellowship,” Dr. Lastra added. Seeing the question forming before you could even pose it. “I’ll be handing oversight of the research side. We’d want to produce a steady stream of scholarship on ED Pediatric cases over the course of the fellowship, and Dr. Robby will be overseeing the practical application, you’d be leading patient care teams for of pedatric cases.”

"It's going to be intense, the ED is focused on high volume, and all fast-paced emergency care,” Dr. Robby told you. “It’s not for everyone, trust me, no judgment if that isn’t what you want to spend the next three years of your life – and maybe the rest of your career– doing.”

"You'll spend all of your clinical hours down in ED," Dr. Lastra replied, making the reality of the program explicit.

You’d realized that as they started talking. The soft, muted colors of Peds would no longer be your home, your safe haven. You’d have to become a basement dweller.

Working in the ED. 

Working in Frank Langdon's ED. 

Wait, no. Fuck that. It wasn't his department. 

If anything, it was about to be your fucking department.

"I'm up for the challenge," You told both Lastra and Robby with a nod.

You could do this. 

You wanted to do this.

At first, Lastra’s offer felt like a lifeline. You would have taken a fellowship scrubbing the floors if it meant you could stay. But as Dr. Lastra was talking, you realized she was right. You would be a great fit for this type of program. You loved a mixture of scholarship and application, and when you were working, if there wasn’t a lot happening on the floor, you got bored, quick.

And you loved kids, you loved working in pediatrics, but maybe you could learn to love the ED too. 

It was somehow even more nerve-wracking to know that this very specific fellowship opportunity had been, in some small way, created for you.

Not just for you, obviously, you weren’t that much of a narcissist. You knew this was so that the hospital looked even more impressive nationally. 

But also, Dr. Lastra had pointed to the papers that you and her had co-written in the fellowship proposal. Creating the argument that the hospital was already starting to do the type of work that this fellowship program would produce, that they just needed to continue to funnel resources toward it. 

They couldn't just give it to you; it was open to applicants just like every other fellowship - but you were hoping and praying that they really meant it when they said you would be the perfect candidate.

And then you got the email on a Tuesday afternoon while you were sitting in the breakroom eating your Cliff Bar.

You almost slammed your phone down on the table when you looked down and saw the notification. It had been sitting in your inbox for 43 minutes while you were with a patient. 

With slightly shaking fingers, you swiped to unlock your phone and open your emails. 

Click.

We are thrilled to offer you a Pediatric Emergency Medicine fellowship at Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center.

You couldn't help the little yelp you let out. Followed by another strangled scream when you reread the first line and confirmed that you hadn’t misread it.

You got the fellowship.

"What?" Nana asked as she rushed around the corner clearly alarmed by the yelp.

"I got it!" You told her as you suddenly sprang to your feet. Grinning back at her like an unhinged psychopath. "I got the fellowship!"

Dr. Lastra popped up from around the corner, already smiling. That bitch must have already known. And was just waiting for you to open the email. Oh my God, you couldn't help it as you practically tackled her into a hug. You loved her so much. 

Blessing and Andrew were quick to follow, filing into the break room as you grinned your face off, hugging everyone as they came within range of you. The nurses and other residents and med students all congregating to figure out what all the excitement was.

"We need to go out and celebrate!" Blessing told you as she pressed another kiss to your cheek. “My husband can take the kids to soccer tonigh. We need to go out for a drink.”

“Hell yes,” Andrew agreed with an eager nod. “You never come out anymore, Bug, let’s finally let loose.”

You pause for a moment. Pretending to think about it. But honestly, it’s a no-brainer. You’d been having a low-grade panic attack for the last year trying to figure out what you were going to do with the rest of your life. But now that weight felt like it was finally being lifted.

"Drinks are on me!" You cheered in agreement before you could think better of it, you were still on a resident’s salary, and the Peds day shift could hold their liquor with the best of them.

The rest of the shift, you’d basically walked on air. A five-year-old little boy throws up on you, and even that doesn’t really put a damper on your mood; you just brush off his parents’ apologies.

“I hope you’re ready to get absolutely sloshed,” Andrew greeted you as he stepped into the locker room. “Because every single one of us is buying you a drink.”

“I’m already drunk on life, baby,” You reply with a grin as you silently thank whatever intelligent version of you left the very cute shirt in your locker a few weeks ago, because you’re able to pull that on and ditch the vomit-scented t-shirt you had on under your scrubs. 

When you put on the jeans you have in your bag and look in the mirror on the wall in the corner you’re deeply impressed. It’s the nicest you’ve looked in weeks.

“To our Bug!” Andrew calls out to the whole bar as he lifts his drink above your heads. “To Bug!” The rest of the department cheers loudly as you all raise your glasses. And your cheeks warm both with embarrassment and a secret pleasure. It’s a nice feeling.

To know that all of these people like you, or like drinking enough to put up with you. And that your colleague, well… really your friends, because they’re the closest thing you have to that, love you enough to do these kinds of things for you. It means a lot. More than they can ever know, or they’d never let you hear the end of it.

Andrew’s arm was permanently slung over your shoulders as he shepherded you around the bar. He only released you when you needed to stop at the bar to grab another drink, and he, in turn, spotted the hot Radiology senior resident he’d been flirting with for the last three months.

Leaving you all alone while the bartender poured your beer.

"I hear congratulations are in order," A deep voice greeted you from behind.

You grinned as you turned around to see Dr. Abbot from the ED smiling back at you, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

You were pretty sure he usually worked the night shift and had no idea how or why he was out. But as a senior ED Attending, you figured his appearance at your celebration Happy Hour was a good sign.

"Thank you, Dr. Abbot,” You replied. “I look forward to working with you,” You added.

“Likewise,” He told you as he looked. “I think you’ll be a great addition to the team.”

You smiled as your gaze flickered from Jack Abbot's relaxed posture, leaning against the bar, to movement out of the corner of your eye, Frank Langdon's figure moving past the two of you. 

You only caught a self-second glance at his face as he passed. But the dark expression - there was no mistaking it as he passed. And your entire mood.

Could Langdon really be upset that you were taking a fellowship in his department? No. It wasn’t his department. He didn’t own it. 

But the department that he already worked in.

Did he think you’d done it on purpose? That you’d done it to get back at him somehow?

And in a strange moment of deja vu, you glanced down at Dr. Abbot’s hands, which were clasped together gently, and that’s when you spotted it.

The black band that encircled the ring finger of his left hand. 

Fuck. 

What is wrong with you? And what the hell is wrong with the men of the ED? Can they really not help themselves?

“I actually-” You stammered as your eyes flew back up to Dr. Abbot’s face. “I’ll be right back,” You fibbed as you grabbed your new drink and pushed through the crowd. Suddenly desperate to get away.

To be anywhere else. But at the very least, to be alone.

But when you drop into what you think is the empty booth at the back of the bar, your eyes widen with the realization that the table is currently occupied. 

By one Frank Langdon.

Shit.

You open your mouth to– wait, to what? Apologize? Why would you need to apologize to him? After everything that happened?

So you don’t.

“Why are you even here?” You ask as you drop your pint glass onto the table, harder than you mean to, but you’re a few in already, the shots that Andrew and Nana peer-pressured you into making themselves known in your clumsy actions.

“Don’t you want to be celebrated?” Frank shot back. “This is your big career milestone. I thought that’s why you invited your future department out, so as many people as possible can shower you in praise.”

“I didn’t invite anyone. Blessing must’ve told Dana who then…” You trailed off as you realized that, actually, yeah, pretty much all of the Pediatric and Emergency departments were milling around. “Why the hell am I justifying myself to you?” You hissed as you looked up at him, your brows furrowing. 

Was he jealous? That you were, what? Popular? Well-liked?

“Just because you’re no longer the golden boy of your department doesn’t mean you have to take it out on those of us who are actually liked by our colleagues,” You told him. “Is that what you’re calling it?” Frank scoffed. “You’re such a people pleaser, it’s truly insane, you’d do anything to make people like you, wouldn’t you?”

“Did you just come out tonight to insult me, Frank?” You asked. “Because if so, you can go home now.” “I came because it would be a bad look not to,” Frank bit back. “But trust me, I want to be here even less than you want me here.” “Then go, Frank,” You hissed. “You were seen, so you can check off the box for socializing with your coworkers, or whatever step in your process this is.” 

You sighed.

Frank scoffed.

“I do not look forward to working with you, Frank, but I’m going to have to do it, so I am going to be a professional about it, and leave any personal feelings at the door. Can you do the same?” You asked him. “What, more threats? Real nice, I can see why everyone likes you so much,” Frank told you. “No one else has ever given me a reason to be this much of a bitch before, so maybe that’s something for you to reflect on in all that work you’re allegedly doing on yourself,” You snapped. “Though you should probably get a new therapist, because clearly whatever they’re doing isn’t working.”

You stood from the table without any other pretext and moved to make a beeline for Nana, and some of the other nurses crowded around. 

“Let’s get a round of shots,” You told them without preamble.

Nana cheered, “Yes, Bug!” 

She moved to lean over the bar and order from the bartender, who seemed to be ready immediately to take the request and began pouring shots in front of each of them. 

Once they’re poured, you all grab one and clink your tiny little shot glasses with a giggle before throwing them back.

You squint and huff once you’re done, making quick work of your lime before grinning at the rest of the group. Thank God all of the young nurses were close by. The shot immediately soothes the anxiety brimming inside of you, allowing you to relax ever so slightly. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but if this is your new vibe, I like Fellow-you, she’s crazy,” Nana told you as she squeezed you in a side hug. “You should really come out more often.” “Well, now that I’m not in career hell, I might,” You tell her with a sheepish smile.

“Good,” Nana replied with a nod and a grin. But then her brows furrowed when she saw the look in your eyes. “Whoa, you got some manic energy right now, are you good?”

“I’m… fine,” You reply, stammering slightly more than you want to. “I think the drinks are just catching up with me.” 

“Want me to get you a water?” She asked.

You shook your head.

“You can’t help yourself, can you?” You tease. “Nursing even off the clock.”

“What can I say? I’m just that good,” She replied. 

Before she can say anything else, you’re both almost body-slammed into by Andrew. 

“Buggie!” He cooed in your ear as he wrapped his arms around you and Nana. “We should go dancing!” “Andrew, we have work tomorrow,” You tell him, shaking your head.

“I’m down,” Nana replied. “I’ll give us IV fluids tomorrow before work if we need 'em.”

“This is a terrible idea,” You told them, still shaking your head.

“C’mon, just a couple hours, power nap, and back to work,” Andrew pressed.

This was such a bad idea. And yet… “Only if we all stop drinking now,” You told him.

“Hell yes, Bug!” Andrew cheered as he hugged you tightly. 

“I’ll go tell the girls,” Nana replied with a grin before disappearing into the crowd.

About four months later, your fellowship actually started.

You’d gotten your new ID badge a few weeks ago with your name and your new tagline–

Emergency Pediatrics Fellow

It felt fucking amazing. To look down and see those words.

You were early for your first shift, chatting with Dana while you waited for handover, trying to get a feel from her for what to expect. It had been almost four years since you’d done your ED rotation, and that had been at a hospital in Ohio, where you’d gone to Med School.

A six-year-old boy with a broken leg, who’d fallen down the stairs in the middle of the night, had come in a few hours ago. Dr. Ellis was presenting the case to you for a handover when Dr. Robby rolled in right at 7 am on the dot, called everyone over for a huddle.

“We’ve got some new faces and some familiar faces this morning,” Dr. Robby announced.

“Dr. Javadi has started her residency with us in Emergency Psychiatry. She will be working with Dr. Jefferson on their consults down here,” He announced as Santos and Whitaker shoved at Javadi’s shoulders.

“And we have a new intern joining us in Emergency Medicine. Welcome, Dr. Wilder.” Who, in turn, sheepishly smiled and waved.

“And last but not least, a familiar face from upstairs is joining us,” He added as he turned to you and called out your name

"She will be our new Emergency Pediatrics Fellow. It's a new fellowship here at PTMC. She is now your point person for all pediatric cases. She will be leading all care teams for all Peds teams,” Dr. Robby told the group.

"Hi, I'm very excited to be here," You said as you waved to the collection of doctors and med students. "I know I've met most of you in passing, but I'm excited to work more closely with you all.”

“Alright, let's get to work,” Dr. Robby said with a loud dad-clap of his hands, releasing you all to your cases.

And so it began.

By the end of the day, you’d pulled a tiny Lego out of the nose of a toddler, treated a kindergartener’s first asthma attack, two concussions (one soccer, one football - that one turned into a seizure), and done double duty on a pair of siblings who’d come in on a four-person MVC. 

Your feet hurt, you’d never had a chance to take your lunch, which meant you’d subsisted on bites of a protein bar in between patients and a can of Diet Coke that Dana had silently handed to you when she’d seen you starting to lag around four. 

You were going to have to find some cash in your bag to pay her back.

All in all, it’d been a great first day.

“Dr. Abbot,” You greeted the night shift attending as he walked in at the tail end of the shift, ready to get into handover.

“Welcome,” He greeted you as he dropped his backpack behind the desk. “Today was your first day? How was it?”

“You know, I’ve actually been down here many, many times,” You pointed out.

“I know, but now you’re one of us,” He replied with a grin as he leaned against the counter, mirroring your own posture.

“I still haven’t decided if that’s a good thing or not,” You admitted to him. “It takes a special type of person,” He replied with a nod. “But I think you’ve got what it takes.”

“You really shouldn’t do that,” You told him with a shake of your head. “Do what?” He asked, all innocent. “Flirt with your coworkers,” You replied. “I can’t imagine your wife would appreciate it,” You add with a glance down at the ring on his finger. “Well, she can’t approve or disapprove anymore. She passed,” Dr. Abbot replied. Like he was just telling you that he likes cream in his coffee.

You felt the blood rush out of your face.

“Oh my God,” You blurted out as you stared back at him.

What the actual fuck was wrong with you?

“It’s alright, I mean, it’s not, but I’ve processed a lot of the grief,” Dr. Abbot told you. “Well, some of it. My therapist said that I use flippancy to downplay my loss. Sorry about that.”

“Dr. Abbot…” You muttered as you shook your head in disbelief. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, I mean, I don’t know why I said-” “It’s okay,” Jack replied, a gentle hand pressed into the top of yours. “You didn’t know.”

“I appreciate you looking out for her. I mean, you’re right, if Kelly were still here, she definitely would not like it if I flirted with pretty doctors at work.” He added. 

“God, I’m so sorry, Dr. Abbot, that’s awful,” You repeated. “Call me Jack,” He said gently. “Jack.” He grinned as his name fell from your lips.

“If we’re doing first-name basis, you can call me Bug, everyone does,” You told him.

“Bug?” “Long story,” You replied with a shrug.

“You made it through the first day of your fellowship, and you know way more about an Attending than you ever wanted to. You’re bonded to us for life now,” He told you.

You grinned.

“Great,” You replied.

A few weeks later, you’re well and truly in the swing of things. The ED is full of highs and lows. And some days you’re nailing it. Others it is painful, and every patient is a hurdle that you just can’t clear. 

And yet? You can’t believe you had been worried that this wouldn’t be for you. Because in a lot of ways, you feel like you belong here in the ED. And don’t know why you didn’t start off in pediatric emergency medicine. 

It's one of those days that’s kind of a mix of both when you’re pulled over to an incoming trauma.

“Accidental GSW wound,” The paramedic told you as you rushed in. “Might have hit the carotid.” She added with a nod at where her hands were holding the wound. 

“He and his brother were playing with dad’s handgun, it went off,” Her partner added. “Shit,” You muttered as you rushed to check the wound. “Exit wound?” “Yep, back of neck,” The paramedic replied. “We checked for it before stabilizing the neck.”

God, this boy was so small, and he’d already lost so much blood.

“Dr. Langdon?” You called out. Your eyes searched the hall, only spotting him in the immediate vicinity. “Yeah?” He asked, his head whipping up.

“I need an assist,” You tell him. “Pediatric GSW.”

“Coming!” He called out before jogging over to join you as you transferred him to the gurney in Trauma One.

“We need to secure the airway,” You tell Langdon as you start grabbing supplies. “No paralytics, there might be edema. We’ll need to move quickly.”

“You got it, you’ve done way more of these on kids this size,” Langdon replied. “I’ll check for pnemothroax, Princess will keep pressure.”

You positioned his head slightly, to intubate before pushing the tube through. Slow is smooth and smooth is steady.

Once you’ve got it in, you breathe a sigh of relief. “Airway secure,” You announce to the room.

“Let’s stabilize, how’s that wound looking, Princess?” “It’s got– oh, shit,” Princess hissed as she lifted up the bandage she was holding pressure to, and blood spurted out.

“Shit, the clot,” Frank hissed. “It popped.”

“We’re gonna need to pack it, and start a massive transfusion protocol,” You reply, taking dressings from Jesse before swapping with Princess. “Frank, call in the protocol,” You tell him as you look over at him.

“On it,” He replied.

For a while, you’re on autopilot. Wound packing, calling out the blood transfusion protocol. Just doing anything and everything you can think of to try to stabilize this kid. He crashes once, and you hop up to start compressions.

You don’t even notice Robby’s frequent check-ins to see if you need anything, completely absorbed in the care.

Eventually, with the transfusion, you get him out of the danger zone with a thready pulse back.

“CT and then we can send him up for surgery,” Frank called out. You had forgotten he was here.

“No, he’s still actively hemorrhaging,” You replied, shaking your head. “We need to send him up to surgery now.”

“Garcia’s on her way down already,” Frank replied.

You nod as you continue to work on him.

“Whoa,” Gracia muttered as she took one look at you. 

“Pediatric gunshot wound to the neck, he’s already had a massive transfusion, and his pulse is stable, but he’s still hemorrhaging,” You told her. “Damn, you look like you came out of The Shining, Bug,” Garcia replied. “Interesting look for you.”

You shrug, not trusting yourself to speak about anything other than the patient.

“He can go up, I’ll take him now,” Garcia said as she looked up at his numbers.

You nodded. “Thank you, Garcia.” “Anytime, Bug,” She replied with a wink. And then both she and the patient were gone.

And it was just you. And Frank.

“Good work,” You told him. “You too,” He replied with a nod. And that was that.

Frank watched you walk away. Ripping off your gown and gloves and trashing them before you went off to check on your patients.

He knew he’d fucked up. And he knew he’d been overly defensive. 

He could have just explained it all to you, but he’d only been back from his leave for a few weeks when you’d pulled him aside. 

And how did you even begin to unpack everything that was wrong with him, especially with someone like you? Someone who clearly had never made a mistake in her entire life. 

Other than sleeping with him.

And yeah, the obvious regret you felt had been palpable that day. And that stung too. So he’d done what he was supposed to be learning not to do. He’d lashed out.

And he kept lashing out at you. 

He didn’t know why. And he didn’t know how to stop. Somehow you just knew exactly which buttons to push to get a rise out of him. And so he said things, terrible things, because he knew they’d hurt you. 

It didn’t take much; you were sensitive. 

And that’s what made your move to the ED so confusing. Sensitive people tended not to seek this kind of work out. And as much as they needed kind, thoughtful people like you, who prioritized humanity in your care for patients, it was also deeply infuriating to see his own pitfalls as a physician staring back at him every day as he watched you excel with your patients.

It was the type of fellowship that should have been his. In more ways than one. But now he was over a year behind in his program.

And the worst part was that it would have been easier to cope if he just hated you. If the jealousy was rooted in the professional, and he could just dislike you, then he could have figured out how to work with you and get over it.

But it wasn’t that simple. It couldn’t be. Not with someone like you. 

Every time he saw you, he was reminded of that night. When he’d first seen you across the bar. Laughing with your colleagues, your hair loose, just pinned away from your face with those silly little clips. He’d been so confused by his own attraction to you initially. You were not his usual type, but you’d been dorky, and pretty in a sweet way, and when you’d spoken to him, it was like you really, really cared. 

And maybe that had just been your patient care tricks. He knew a lot of doctors who were good at faking the deep care, to get their patients to talk without getting too attached.

But he had a feeling you weren’t the type.

You were a feeler. Which meant it had been real. Real care. Just like the care you poured into each patient you treated. All of those sick kids you took care of. A saint. 

But he’d been able to stop thinking about it. 

So yeah, Frank Langdon was fucked. And it was all your fault.

[peterpparkrr]

Heard It Through the Grapevine (ch. 2)

Pairing: Previous!Frank Langdon x f!Reader, Jack Abbot x f!Reader

Summary: Reader doesn’t have time to deal with Frank’s bullshit; she’s too busy dealing with the true horror of her life: Her post-residency job search.

Warnings: Reader does some spiraling, career-related anxiety, medical inaccuracies up the wazoo, Abbot will not be endgame (aka this is only the beginning of the angst), unbetaed as hell

A/N: Most of this chapter was spurred by the 2 months I spent unemployed at the start of the year lol (but luckily I’m gainfully employed again, so take that job market!)

Read ch. 1 here!

“Hey, Bug,” Blessing greeted you with a smile as you popped out of the elevator. “You okay?” She asks when she sees the look on your face.

Shit.

“Yeah, I’m okay, it’s just…it’s so intense down there,” You told her, shaking your head as you leaned against the counter, trying your best to fix your face. “Well, you’re back at the bottom of the list now, so hopefully it’ll be a few days before you have to head back down there,” She replied. “Honestly, I don’t know how they can get anything done down there. I’d lose my mind trying to wrangle that chaos.”

“Dana is a saint amongst women,” You replied with a nod. She also kind of scared you, but then again, so did Blessing. And she was the best charge nurse you’d ever worked with.

“She’s just as crazy as the rest of them,” Blessing replied with a shake of your head. “I don’t know how she does it. Or why.”

“ER doctors get pulled from task A to task B every three to five minutes,” You told her before you could even process where that fun fact had come from. But the moment it came out of your mouth, you realized who had told you that delightful little fun fact.

Who else? Frank Langdon.

You felt your face blanch. But thankfully, Blessing hadn’t noticed.

“That’s what I mean! How can you get anything done working like that?” She replied with a shake of your head. “And you know it’s even worse for those nurses, and they get absolutely no thanks.”

“You gossiping about the ED again?” Andrew asked as he sidled up to you, his shoulder bumping against yours as he grinned over at Blessing.

“You’re next for the consult list,” Blessing reminded him with a warning look.

“That’s resident work, I’m an Attending now, remember?” Andrew replied. Clearly not taking the warning to heart. But why would he? He’d managed to finish his residency at the exact moment that Dr. Michel had retired. Clearly, whatever entity was ruling over this mortal plane had his best interests at heart. 

And definitely hated you. “That is not how this works, Andrew,” You protested.

“That’s Dr. Lee to you, Bug,” Andrew replied with a frown. “I’m your Attending now, remember?” 

Blessing frowned at him, raising her eyebrows in a silent warning. “Hard to forget when you’re constantly reminding me,” You shot back as you pushed yourself off the counter. “I’ve gotta check on my patients, is that all right, Dr. Lee?” You asked mockingly. “Go right ahead,” Andrew replied, ignoring your jab.

Over the next few days, you figured out how to calm down. It was relatively simple. You and Frank seemed to have silently, mutually agreed that any time you were in the same general vicinity, you wouldn’t so much as look at each other. No speaking. No engagement whatsoever.

And so far, avoiding each other was working.

And yeah, your nervous system had developed an annoying habit of reacting to the sight of him, but you’d figured out how to get your stomach to stop dropping.

No talking meant no fighting. So, you know. Small victories or whatever.

"Did you get all of your applications sent in?" Dr. Lastra asked as she paused beside you.

Maureen Lastra was the head of the Pediatric Department. And your personal idol. Everything you wanted to be when you grew up. A brilliant, kind, respected doctor. When you'd started your residency, a brand new, baby doctor, you'd taken one look at all five feet of the middle-aged woman with her stern frown and decided to imprint on her like a baby bird.

And she was nice enough to put up with it. 

Most of the time.

"I did, now I just need to hope and pray that I get one of them," You told her with a nod. 

You'd gotten your rec letters from her and Andrew a few weeks ago and sent off all of your applications immediately. You were just starting to hear back from a handful of the hospitals. 

"Otherwise, I guess I'm moving upstate to start my own practice in the woods," You added.

"Well, I heard a rumor that there's a new fellowship getting put together here, at PTMC," She told you with a slight quirk of her lips. A sort of half-smile. Maybe more like a quarter? But that Quarter smile? That was a rare sight around here. And so that could only mean one thing. She was really happy. Like, deeply pleased.

"Wait, really?" You asked. Pausing in the middle of typing out your orders as you slowly turned to fully look at her. 

Dr. Lastra was never mean. She didn't have it in her, even when people really fucked up. 

Which meant that she was telling the truth. 

But a fellowship at PTMC? That almost felt too good to be true. Most of the hospital’s programs weren’t remotely related to Pediatrics.

You'd applied to every pediatric fellowship and attending position in the Greater Pittsburgh Area in hopes you wouldn't have to move, but you'd been networking for years and knew the likelihood of getting the spots at Presby or Mercy were low; they had their own gifted residents to put forward for the roles. And Andrew had been brutally honest with you, hospital positions in peds were few and far between, not just in the area, but at pretty much every trauma center in the country. Even with your credentials, there was no guarantee of a single spot. 

Your best bet right now was a few roles in Chicago, one of your professors from med school was out there, and you'd been checking in with her regularly; she was hoping to get you in at her hospital.

But the chance to stay at PTMC, to stay in peds? That would be....

"It's still in the early stages, but I've been talking to Dr. Robby, down in the ED, and we're proposing a new fellowship to the board next week,” Dr. Lastra continued. “Emergency Pediatric Care Fellow. I know it's maybe not exactly what you're looking for, but I think you would excel. You can handle the fast-paced work, and it would still be research-based. And those crisis cases you're always looking for would come right through the ED door."

You just stared at her, mouth slightly open.

Was this really happening?

"We'd like it if you would consider applying," She added. “You’d be a great fit.”

"Wait, you'd recommend me for it?" You asked as you blinked at her a bit dumbly. 

"Yes, Andrew, Robby, and I would all endorse your application if you apply. We think if we showcase your preexisting research, we can hopefully get this to speedrun through the approvals and have it up and running for when you finish your residency," She told you. “There’s a lot of untapped potential with your work. With you.”

"Really?" You asked. Your voice came out a bit squeakier than you meant it to, the emotions bubbling in your chest threatening to spill over.

Did Dr. Lastra really think you were worth all of that?

Maybe whoever was up there in the heavens playing with you all like Barbie dolls didn’t have it out for you after all.

"Can you meet with Dr. Robby and me next week? We can nail down the details. We're still coming up with the proposal, but I wanted to make sure it aligns with what you’re looking for before you put the time into an application.”

"Yes! Thank you! Seriously, you don't know how much it would mean to me if I could stay here," You told her with an eager nod.

"I know," She replied with another sort of smile. "We don't want to lose you either."

"Dr. Robby," You greeted the older man as you stepped into Dr. Lastra’s office, shaking her hand before moving to shake his as he stood from his chair. “It’s nice to see you.”

Dr. Robby greeted you with a warm smile, his eyes crinkling around the edges.

“So, tell me more about this fellowship,” You said as you sat down across from both of them.

“We want to build a Pediatric program in the ED. It’s something that we’re lacking as a hospital,” Dr. Robby told you. “Dr. Lastra and I have been discussing it for a few years, but there’s never been the interest. Or the bandwidth from anyone in either department to take it on alone.”

“But then we realized we could build it together; we’d both serve as mentors for the fellowship,” Dr. Lastra added. Seeing the question forming before you could even pose it. “I’ll be handing oversight of the research side. We’d want to produce a steady stream of scholarship on ED Pediatric cases over the course of the fellowship, and Dr. Robby will be overseeing the practical application, you’d be leading patient care teams for of pedatric cases.”

"It's going to be intense, the ED is focused on high volume, and all fast-paced emergency care,” Dr. Robby told you. “It’s not for everyone, trust me, no judgment if that isn’t what you want to spend the next three years of your life – and maybe the rest of your career– doing.”

"You'll spend all of your clinical hours down in ED," Dr. Lastra replied, making the reality of the program explicit.

You’d realized that as they started talking. The soft, muted colors of Peds would no longer be your home, your safe haven. You’d have to become a basement dweller.

Working in the ED. 

Working in Frank Langdon's ED. 

Wait, no. Fuck that. It wasn't his department. 

If anything, it was about to be your fucking department.

"I'm up for the challenge," You told both Lastra and Robby with a nod.

You could do this. 

You wanted to do this.

At first, Lastra’s offer felt like a lifeline. You would have taken a fellowship scrubbing the floors if it meant you could stay. But as Dr. Lastra was talking, you realized she was right. You would be a great fit for this type of program. You loved a mixture of scholarship and application, and when you were working, if there wasn’t a lot happening on the floor, you got bored, quick.

And you loved kids, you loved working in pediatrics, but maybe you could learn to love the ED too. 

It was somehow even more nerve-wracking to know that this very specific fellowship opportunity had been, in some small way, created for you.

Not just for you, obviously, you weren’t that much of a narcissist. You knew this was so that the hospital looked even more impressive nationally. 

But also, Dr. Lastra had pointed to the papers that you and her had co-written in the fellowship proposal. Creating the argument that the hospital was already starting to do the type of work that this fellowship program would produce, that they just needed to continue to funnel resources toward it. 

They couldn't just give it to you; it was open to applicants just like every other fellowship - but you were hoping and praying that they really meant it when they said you would be the perfect candidate.

And then you got the email on a Tuesday afternoon while you were sitting in the breakroom eating your Cliff Bar.

You almost slammed your phone down on the table when you looked down and saw the notification. It had been sitting in your inbox for 43 minutes while you were with a patient. 

With slightly shaking fingers, you swiped to unlock your phone and open your emails. 

Click.

We are thrilled to offer you a Pediatric Emergency Medicine fellowship at Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center.

You couldn't help the little yelp you let out. Followed by another strangled scream when you reread the first line and confirmed that you hadn’t misread it.

You got the fellowship.

"What?" Nana asked as she rushed around the corner clearly alarmed by the yelp.

"I got it!" You told her as you suddenly sprang to your feet. Grinning back at her like an unhinged psychopath. "I got the fellowship!"

Dr. Lastra popped up from around the corner, already smiling. That bitch must have already known. And was just waiting for you to open the email. Oh my God, you couldn't help it as you practically tackled her into a hug. You loved her so much. 

Blessing and Andrew were quick to follow, filing into the break room as you grinned your face off, hugging everyone as they came within range of you. The nurses and other residents and med students all congregating to figure out what all the excitement was.

"We need to go out and celebrate!" Blessing told you as she pressed another kiss to your cheek. “My husband can take the kids to soccer tonigh. We need to go out for a drink.”

“Hell yes,” Andrew agreed with an eager nod. “You never come out anymore, Bug, let’s finally let loose.”

You pause for a moment. Pretending to think about it. But honestly, it’s a no-brainer. You’d been having a low-grade panic attack for the last year trying to figure out what you were going to do with the rest of your life. But now that weight felt like it was finally being lifted.

"Drinks are on me!" You cheered in agreement before you could think better of it, you were still on a resident’s salary, and the Peds day shift could hold their liquor with the best of them.

The rest of the shift, you’d basically walked on air. A five-year-old little boy throws up on you, and even that doesn’t really put a damper on your mood; you just brush off his parents’ apologies.

“I hope you’re ready to get absolutely sloshed,” Andrew greeted you as he stepped into the locker room. “Because every single one of us is buying you a drink.”

“I’m already drunk on life, baby,” You reply with a grin as you silently thank whatever intelligent version of you left the very cute shirt in your locker a few weeks ago, because you’re able to pull that on and ditch the vomit-scented t-shirt you had on under your scrubs. 

When you put on the jeans you have in your bag and look in the mirror on the wall in the corner you’re deeply impressed. It’s the nicest you’ve looked in weeks.

“To our Bug!” Andrew calls out to the whole bar as he lifts his drink above your heads. “To Bug!” The rest of the department cheers loudly as you all raise your glasses. And your cheeks warm both with embarrassment and a secret pleasure. It’s a nice feeling.

To know that all of these people like you, or like drinking enough to put up with you. And that your colleague, well… really your friends, because they’re the closest thing you have to that, love you enough to do these kinds of things for you. It means a lot. More than they can ever know, or they’d never let you hear the end of it.

Andrew’s arm was permanently slung over your shoulders as he shepherded you around the bar. He only released you when you needed to stop at the bar to grab another drink, and he, in turn, spotted the hot Radiology senior resident he’d been flirting with for the last three months.

Leaving you all alone while the bartender poured your beer.

"I hear congratulations are in order," A deep voice greeted you from behind.

You grinned as you turned around to see Dr. Abbot from the ED smiling back at you, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

You were pretty sure he usually worked the night shift and had no idea how or why he was out. But as a senior ED Attending, you figured his appearance at your celebration Happy Hour was a good sign.

"Thank you, Dr. Abbot,” You replied. “I look forward to working with you,” You added.

“Likewise,” He told you as he looked. “I think you’ll be a great addition to the team.”

You smiled as your gaze flickered from Jack Abbot's relaxed posture, leaning against the bar, to movement out of the corner of your eye, Frank Langdon's figure moving past the two of you. 

You only caught a self-second glance at his face as he passed. But the dark expression - there was no mistaking it as he passed. And your entire mood.

Could Langdon really be upset that you were taking a fellowship in his department? No. It wasn’t his department. He didn’t own it. 

But the department that he already worked in.

Did he think you’d done it on purpose? That you’d done it to get back at him somehow?

And in a strange moment of deja vu, you glanced down at Dr. Abbot’s hands, which were clasped together gently, and that’s when you spotted it.

The black band that encircled the ring finger of his left hand. 

Fuck. 

What is wrong with you? And what the hell is wrong with the men of the ED? Can they really not help themselves?

“I actually-” You stammered as your eyes flew back up to Dr. Abbot’s face. “I’ll be right back,” You fibbed as you grabbed your new drink and pushed through the crowd. Suddenly desperate to get away.

To be anywhere else. But at the very least, to be alone.

But when you drop into what you think is the empty booth at the back of the bar, your eyes widen with the realization that the table is currently occupied. 

By one Frank Langdon.

Shit.

You open your mouth to– wait, to what? Apologize? Why would you need to apologize to him? After everything that happened?

So you don’t.

“Why are you even here?” You ask as you drop your pint glass onto the table, harder than you mean to, but you’re a few in already, the shots that Andrew and Nana peer-pressured you into making themselves known in your clumsy actions.

“Don’t you want to be celebrated?” Frank shot back. “This is your big career milestone. I thought that’s why you invited your future department out, so as many people as possible can shower you in praise.”

“I didn’t invite anyone. Blessing must’ve told Dana who then…” You trailed off as you realized that, actually, yeah, pretty much all of the Pediatric and Emergency departments were milling around. “Why the hell am I justifying myself to you?” You hissed as you looked up at him, your brows furrowing. 

Was he jealous? That you were, what? Popular? Well-liked?

“Just because you’re no longer the golden boy of your department doesn’t mean you have to take it out on those of us who are actually liked by our colleagues,” You told him. “Is that what you’re calling it?” Frank scoffed. “You’re such a people pleaser, it’s truly insane, you’d do anything to make people like you, wouldn’t you?”

“Did you just come out tonight to insult me, Frank?” You asked. “Because if so, you can go home now.” “I came because it would be a bad look not to,” Frank bit back. “But trust me, I want to be here even less than you want me here.” “Then go, Frank,” You hissed. “You were seen, so you can check off the box for socializing with your coworkers, or whatever step in your process this is.” 

You sighed.

Frank scoffed.

“I do not look forward to working with you, Frank, but I’m going to have to do it, so I am going to be a professional about it, and leave any personal feelings at the door. Can you do the same?” You asked him. “What, more threats? Real nice, I can see why everyone likes you so much,” Frank told you. “No one else has ever given me a reason to be this much of a bitch before, so maybe that’s something for you to reflect on in all that work you’re allegedly doing on yourself,” You snapped. “Though you should probably get a new therapist, because clearly whatever they’re doing isn’t working.”

You stood from the table without any other pretext and moved to make a beeline for Nana, and some of the other nurses crowded around. 

“Let’s get a round of shots,” You told them without preamble.

Nana cheered, “Yes, Bug!” 

She moved to lean over the bar and order from the bartender, who seemed to be ready immediately to take the request and began pouring shots in front of each of them. 

Once they’re poured, you all grab one and clink your tiny little shot glasses with a giggle before throwing them back.

You squint and huff once you’re done, making quick work of your lime before grinning at the rest of the group. Thank God all of the young nurses were close by. The shot immediately soothes the anxiety brimming inside of you, allowing you to relax ever so slightly. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but if this is your new vibe, I like Fellow-you, she’s crazy,” Nana told you as she squeezed you in a side hug. “You should really come out more often.” “Well, now that I’m not in career hell, I might,” You tell her with a sheepish smile.

“Good,” Nana replied with a nod and a grin. But then her brows furrowed when she saw the look in your eyes. “Whoa, you got some manic energy right now, are you good?”

“I’m… fine,” You reply, stammering slightly more than you want to. “I think the drinks are just catching up with me.” 

“Want me to get you a water?” She asked.

You shook your head.

“You can’t help yourself, can you?” You tease. “Nursing even off the clock.”

“What can I say? I’m just that good,” She replied. 

Before she can say anything else, you’re both almost body-slammed into by Andrew. 

“Buggie!” He cooed in your ear as he wrapped his arms around you and Nana. “We should go dancing!” “Andrew, we have work tomorrow,” You tell him, shaking your head.

“I’m down,” Nana replied. “I’ll give us IV fluids tomorrow before work if we need 'em.”

“This is a terrible idea,” You told them, still shaking your head.

“C’mon, just a couple hours, power nap, and back to work,” Andrew pressed.

This was such a bad idea. And yet… “Only if we all stop drinking now,” You told him.

“Hell yes, Bug!” Andrew cheered as he hugged you tightly. 

“I’ll go tell the girls,” Nana replied with a grin before disappearing into the crowd.

About four months later, your fellowship actually started.

You’d gotten your new ID badge a few weeks ago with your name and your new tagline–

Emergency Pediatrics Fellow

It felt fucking amazing. To look down and see those words.

You were early for your first shift, chatting with Dana while you waited for handover, trying to get a feel from her for what to expect. It had been almost four years since you’d done your ED rotation, and that had been at a hospital in Ohio, where you’d gone to Med School.

A six-year-old boy with a broken leg, who’d fallen down the stairs in the middle of the night, had come in a few hours ago. Dr. Ellis was presenting the case to you for a handover when Dr. Robby rolled in right at 7 am on the dot, called everyone over for a huddle.

“We’ve got some new faces and some familiar faces this morning,” Dr. Robby announced.

“Dr. Javadi has started her residency with us in Emergency Psychiatry. She will be working with Dr. Jefferson on their consults down here,” He announced as Santos and Whitaker shoved at Javadi’s shoulders.

“And we have a new intern joining us in Emergency Medicine. Welcome, Dr. Wilder.” Who, in turn, sheepishly smiled and waved.

“And last but not least, a familiar face from upstairs is joining us,” He added as he turned to you and called out your name

"She will be our new Emergency Pediatrics Fellow. It's a new fellowship here at PTMC. She is now your point person for all pediatric cases. She will be leading all care teams for all Peds teams,” Dr. Robby told the group.

"Hi, I'm very excited to be here," You said as you waved to the collection of doctors and med students. "I know I've met most of you in passing, but I'm excited to work more closely with you all.”

“Alright, let's get to work,” Dr. Robby said with a loud dad-clap of his hands, releasing you all to your cases.

And so it began.

By the end of the day, you’d pulled a tiny Lego out of the nose of a toddler, treated a kindergartener’s first asthma attack, two concussions (one soccer, one football - that one turned into a seizure), and done double duty on a pair of siblings who’d come in on a four-person MVC. 

Your feet hurt, you’d never had a chance to take your lunch, which meant you’d subsisted on bites of a protein bar in between patients and a can of Diet Coke that Dana had silently handed to you when she’d seen you starting to lag around four. 

You were going to have to find some cash in your bag to pay her back.

All in all, it’d been a great first day.

“Dr. Abbot,” You greeted the night shift attending as he walked in at the tail end of the shift, ready to get into handover.

“Welcome,” He greeted you as he dropped his backpack behind the desk. “Today was your first day? How was it?”

“You know, I’ve actually been down here many, many times,” You pointed out.

“I know, but now you’re one of us,” He replied with a grin as he leaned against the counter, mirroring your own posture.

“I still haven’t decided if that’s a good thing or not,” You admitted to him. “It takes a special type of person,” He replied with a nod. “But I think you’ve got what it takes.”

“You really shouldn’t do that,” You told him with a shake of your head. “Do what?” He asked, all innocent. “Flirt with your coworkers,” You replied. “I can’t imagine your wife would appreciate it,” You add with a glance down at the ring on his finger. “Well, she can’t approve or disapprove anymore. She passed,” Dr. Abbot replied. Like he was just telling you that he likes cream in his coffee.

You felt the blood rush out of your face.

“Oh my God,” You blurted out as you stared back at him.

What the actual fuck was wrong with you?

“It’s alright, I mean, it’s not, but I’ve processed a lot of the grief,” Dr. Abbot told you. “Well, some of it. My therapist said that I use flippancy to downplay my loss. Sorry about that.”

“Dr. Abbot…” You muttered as you shook your head in disbelief. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, I mean, I don’t know why I said-” “It’s okay,” Jack replied, a gentle hand pressed into the top of yours. “You didn’t know.”

“I appreciate you looking out for her. I mean, you’re right, if Kelly were still here, she definitely would not like it if I flirted with pretty doctors at work.” He added. 

“God, I’m so sorry, Dr. Abbot, that’s awful,” You repeated. “Call me Jack,” He said gently. “Jack.” He grinned as his name fell from your lips.

“If we’re doing first-name basis, you can call me Bug, everyone does,” You told him.

“Bug?” “Long story,” You replied with a shrug.

“You made it through the first day of your fellowship, and you know way more about an Attending than you ever wanted to. You’re bonded to us for life now,” He told you.

You grinned.

“Great,” You replied.

A few weeks later, you’re well and truly in the swing of things. The ED is full of highs and lows. And some days you’re nailing it. Others it is painful, and every patient is a hurdle that you just can’t clear. 

And yet? You can’t believe you had been worried that this wouldn’t be for you. Because in a lot of ways, you feel like you belong here in the ED. And don’t know why you didn’t start off in pediatric emergency medicine. 

It's one of those days that’s kind of a mix of both when you’re pulled over to an incoming trauma.

“Accidental GSW wound,” The paramedic told you as you rushed in. “Might have hit the carotid.” She added with a nod at where her hands were holding the wound. 

“He and his brother were playing with dad’s handgun, it went off,” Her partner added. “Shit,” You muttered as you rushed to check the wound. “Exit wound?” “Yep, back of neck,” The paramedic replied. “We checked for it before stabilizing the neck.”

God, this boy was so small, and he’d already lost so much blood.

“Dr. Langdon?” You called out. Your eyes searched the hall, only spotting him in the immediate vicinity. “Yeah?” He asked, his head whipping up.

“I need an assist,” You tell him. “Pediatric GSW.”

“Coming!” He called out before jogging over to join you as you transferred him to the gurney in Trauma One.

“We need to secure the airway,” You tell Langdon as you start grabbing supplies. “No paralytics, there might be edema. We’ll need to move quickly.”

“You got it, you’ve done way more of these on kids this size,” Langdon replied. “I’ll check for pnemothroax, Princess will keep pressure.”

You positioned his head slightly, to intubate before pushing the tube through. Slow is smooth and smooth is steady.

Once you’ve got it in, you breathe a sigh of relief. “Airway secure,” You announce to the room.

“Let’s stabilize, how’s that wound looking, Princess?” “It’s got– oh, shit,” Princess hissed as she lifted up the bandage she was holding pressure to, and blood spurted out.

“Shit, the clot,” Frank hissed. “It popped.”

“We’re gonna need to pack it, and start a massive transfusion protocol,” You reply, taking dressings from Jesse before swapping with Princess. “Frank, call in the protocol,” You tell him as you look over at him.

“On it,” He replied.

For a while, you’re on autopilot. Wound packing, calling out the blood transfusion protocol. Just doing anything and everything you can think of to try to stabilize this kid. He crashes once, and you hop up to start compressions.

You don’t even notice Robby’s frequent check-ins to see if you need anything, completely absorbed in the care.

Eventually, with the transfusion, you get him out of the danger zone with a thready pulse back.

“CT and then we can send him up for surgery,” Frank called out. You had forgotten he was here.

“No, he’s still actively hemorrhaging,” You replied, shaking your head. “We need to send him up to surgery now.”

“Garcia’s on her way down already,” Frank replied.

You nod as you continue to work on him.

“Whoa,” Gracia muttered as she took one look at you. 

“Pediatric gunshot wound to the neck, he’s already had a massive transfusion, and his pulse is stable, but he’s still hemorrhaging,” You told her. “Damn, you look like you came out of The Shining, Bug,” Garcia replied. “Interesting look for you.”

You shrug, not trusting yourself to speak about anything other than the patient.

“He can go up, I’ll take him now,” Garcia said as she looked up at his numbers.

You nodded. “Thank you, Garcia.” “Anytime, Bug,” She replied with a wink. And then both she and the patient were gone.

And it was just you. And Frank.

“Good work,” You told him. “You too,” He replied with a nod. And that was that.

Frank watched you walk away. Ripping off your gown and gloves and trashing them before you went off to check on your patients.

He knew he’d fucked up. And he knew he’d been overly defensive. 

He could have just explained it all to you, but he’d only been back from his leave for a few weeks when you’d pulled him aside. 

And how did you even begin to unpack everything that was wrong with him, especially with someone like you? Someone who clearly had never made a mistake in her entire life. 

Other than sleeping with him.

And yeah, the obvious regret you felt had been palpable that day. And that stung too. So he’d done what he was supposed to be learning not to do. He’d lashed out.

And he kept lashing out at you. 

He didn’t know why. And he didn’t know how to stop. Somehow you just knew exactly which buttons to push to get a rise out of him. And so he said things, terrible things, because he knew they’d hurt you. 

It didn’t take much; you were sensitive. 

And that’s what made your move to the ED so confusing. Sensitive people tended not to seek this kind of work out. And as much as they needed kind, thoughtful people like you, who prioritized humanity in your care for patients, it was also deeply infuriating to see his own pitfalls as a physician staring back at him every day as he watched you excel with your patients.

It was the type of fellowship that should have been his. In more ways than one. But now he was over a year behind in his program.

And the worst part was that it would have been easier to cope if he just hated you. If the jealousy was rooted in the professional, and he could just dislike you, then he could have figured out how to work with you and get over it.

But it wasn’t that simple. It couldn’t be. Not with someone like you. 

Every time he saw you, he was reminded of that night. When he’d first seen you across the bar. Laughing with your colleagues, your hair loose, just pinned away from your face with those silly little clips. He’d been so confused by his own attraction to you initially. You were not his usual type, but you’d been dorky, and pretty in a sweet way, and when you’d spoken to him, it was like you really, really cared. 

And maybe that had just been your patient care tricks. He knew a lot of doctors who were good at faking the deep care, to get their patients to talk without getting too attached.

But he had a feeling you weren’t the type.

You were a feeler. Which meant it had been real. Real care. Just like the care you poured into each patient you treated. All of those sick kids you took care of. A saint. 

But he’d been able to stop thinking about it. 

So yeah, Frank Langdon was fucked. And it was all your fault.

[canidykes]

but what about you?

[peterpparkrr]

Heard It Through the Grapevine (ch. 1)

Pairing: Frank Langdon x F!Reader

Summary: You and Frank had a one-night stand at the beginning of your residencies. 

Warnings: Cheating (unintentional on the reader’s side), sexual content (18+, MDNI), ANGST, a lot of negative inner thoughts and self-loathing, discussions of addiction, asshole Frank Langdon.

A/N: Okay, I’m kind of obsessed with peds!reader, but haven’t decided if I’m gonna write a second chance story for her and Frank OR if she should start something up with someone else. 

Soooooo please let me know what you think would be more fun to read! I’m torn between Frank, Shen, and Abbot. Please weigh in in the replies.

It had honestly been no big deal. You’d been an Intern. It had been your first year of residency in PTMC’s Peds Department.

A moment of weakness. Or maybe stupidity?

You honestly hadn’t thought much of it at the time. But here you were three years down the line. A Senior Pediatrics Resident who could barely make it through a consult down in the ED without making a complete fool of yourself.

Frank-Fucking-Langdon.

You’d had a one-night stand. Slept together one time. And afterward, you’d managed to keep it completely normal. 

You’d been remarkably chill about it. You didn’t ever blush or stammer or do anything weird or embarrassing around him when you ran into each other around PTMC in the intervening years.

But then, about ten months ago, you heard that Frank Langdon was in rehab. That he had a drug problem and that an Intern had narc’ed on him.

And for the last ten months, you’d been trying to figure out what happened to him. You’d been worried. Wondering if he was okay. If it would be weird for you to reach out. Just to check in. 

Which led you to discover that he was married. Two kids. Four and two.

You’d slept with a married man who had a baby while his wife was probably pregnant with their second.

It made you want to throw up. 

And now Langdon was back. Working his steps, but returning to work.

And now you couldn’t function any time someone called you down to the ED because you felt like you were going to combust if you looked at him too long. Either because the shame you felt was going ot eat you alive. Or because your hatred for the man who made you that horrible person was going to set you alight. 

Hopefully, it would be spontaneous. You read somewhere that cremation took about two and a half hours, and that seemed long enough to make it weird.

Three Years Ago 

Intern year was hell. Everyone had tried to warn you. But you were stupid and hadn’t listened to them.

God. You were really in it now.

Park House was the closest bar to the hospital. It was divey. And charged more than a true dive bar ever should for beers and rail cocktails. But Hospital staff were all about the convenience, not to mention creatures of habit. So everyone still went there.

You were out to drinks with the other residents from Peds after a long shift. You’d managed to snag a good booth, and you were already two rounds deep when you saw some of the ED residents and nurses walk in. You recognized Heather Collins and Dr. Robby. Heather was older than you, and a year or two ahead of you in her residency, but you’d worked a few cases with her when your attending had brought you down to shadow peds consults. She was brilliant. Smart and poised and classy. Apparently, she’d started her medical career after a very successful financial career. Which was… and an insane choice now that you were in the thick of your medical career proper. She was either the most impressive woman alive (probably) or a glutton for punishment (also maybe true?).

“Next round’s on you, Bug,” Andrew said with a shove at your shoulder. Nudging you out of staring reverie. You feigned annoyance. The nickname came from a stupid attempt to cheer up one of your long-haulers. 

A six-year-old boy with stage four leukemia who loved bugs more than anything in the world. 

So you’d started wearing barrettes with bugs on them in your hair. 

For him.

It started with a cute ladybug pair you’d already owned. Then you bought a pair with butterflies on them from Etsy. And then you’d had to start getting creative. Buying those fake bugs from the craft store and hot-gluing them to plain clips from Target.

Ladybugs. Butterflies. Dragonflies. Beetles. Crickets. Bees. Cicadas. 

And now you were Bug Girl. Or simply. Bug.

It was a hit with the younger kids, and your teen patients thought it was stupid, which was also sort of a hit (y’know, because giving teens something to hate is one of the nicest things you can do, right?). 

“Another Heineken, Pils, two vodka crans, a mojito, please,” You told the bartender with an apologetic smile.

While he turned around to start on the drinks, a guy sidled up to the bar next to you.

“Hey,” he greeted you with a crooked smile as he leaned on the bar, facing you.

He was handsome. The classic type. Dark hair that did that swoopy thing, strong features - eyebrows, nose, jawline, with a dimple in his chin. He was handsome. And he knew it. “Hi,” You replied as you turned to him, a smile of your own. Even if you were hesitant to be too friendly with a stranger at a bar. Especially one oozing this much intentional charm. Now you were just waiting for him to say something completely insane.

You could see the black scrubs peeking out from underneath his jacket. He must have come in with the ED guys, but you didn’t recognize him.

“You work at the hospital?” He asked as his gaze flicked down to your own scrubs before looking back up at your face. “What gave it away?” You asked with a smirk as you plucked at the collar of your own lavender purple scrubs. 

“Ah, Peds,” He replied with a nod as he clocked the color denoting your department. “I should have known.” “Really? Am I that obvious?” You asked as you cocked your head to the side. People usually guessed Peds. And maybe it was that you were a woman. But you also sometimes felt like you must have “PEDIATRICS” written on your forehead or something. Which at least made you feel pretty confident that you’d picked the right specialty. “You’ve got a dragonfly on your hair clip and have a tiny stuffed koala in your pocket,” He replied as your gaze dropped down to your scrub top and the little koala bear you totally forgot was there. Well, that’s embarrassing. “If you worked anywhere else in the hospital, I’d be a little concerned.”

“God forbid doctors have a little whimsy. Some personality,” You replied with a scoff. 

“I guess maybe my work is a little more serious. Not really the place for that kind of thing,” He replied.

You know he’s mostly just saying it to tease. There’s not true heat in his words, they’re light and unserious. But you can’t help but take a bit of the hit.

“You would say that – ED likes to think they’re the only department that does any work,” You replied. “Which is funny because you’re the ones always calling the rest of us for consults.” “Oh! It’s like that?” Frank replied, his eyebrows raising.

“There’s a reason we call you ED Cowboys,” You told him. “And it’s not because you’d all look good in a cowboy hat.” “But would I?” He asked, leaning toward you. “Would you what?” You asked. Your brows furrowed. “Look good in a cowboy hat?” He asked. “Bug! I’d like my drink before I die of old age!” Andrew shouted over at you. Breaking you out of your conversation. Your… flirtation. As your gaze whips back over to where all of your coworkers are sitting and watching you. Which makes you realize that they’re definitely watching this whole thing happen. Which is… hmmmm. Not great. “You’re far more likely to die of cancer or heart disease,” You mutter as you shoot ED Cowboy an apologetic glance back at your bar-mate.

“Sorry, I should get back to them before they revolt,”  You added as you grabbed the drinks that were lined up in front of you. Blessing, one of your nurses, hops up from the edge of the booth and runs over to help you carry the rest.

“It was nice to meet you…” You trailed off.

“Frank Langdon,” He replied with another one of those stupid, charming smiles. God, his patients must love him. You grinned as you reached out to shake his hand and told him your own name.

“Hopefully I’ll see you around,” He added after repeating your name back to you. God, why was it so hot when a guy said your name? You carefully walked your drinks back to your table and distributed them with minimal spillage - not your fault, you’d never worked in a restaurant. 

“Who was that?” Nya, a fellow resident, asked as you slid back into your seat. “Just an ED doctor,” You replied dismissively. You knew they’d been watching you the whole time. And you did not want to add any more fuel to that fire. Blessing had been trying to set you up with one of her nephews since you’d started your internship.

“A friendly ED doctor,” Andrew replied with a smirk over the top of his cocktail. “Very friendly,” Blessing added. “I could feel the sexual tension rolling off of you two.” “Whatever,” You muttered into your beer as you stared down at the table. 

But every time you glanced over at where the ED department was congregated around the corner of the bar, you caught Frank Langdon looking back over at you. 

By the fourth time you caught him, you realized he wanted you to. And he winked at you. 

Winked.

“Oh my God,” You muttered under your breath as you brought your beer up to your lips, hoping the pint glass would cover for the heat radiating off your entire face. “Are you okay?” Nya asked as she glanced over at you. “ED Ken is making eyes at her from the bar,” Andrew replied for you as you swatted at his arm to try and get him to shut up.

The whole table turned around to look at where Frank Langdon and his coworkers were standing around by the bar, and you had never wanted the floor to swallow you up more. “Honey! He’s obsessed with you,” Blessing squealed from across from you as her head whipped back around. “Oh my God, guys, please,” You muttered as you tried to find the ring of condensation on the table where your beer had been sitting, deeply fascinating. “Well, I gotta head home,” Andrew finally said as he finished his drink and glanced around at the rest of the group for a vibe check, as the rest of the group nodded in assent and started to gather their things. “So maybe we should drop you off with ED Ken on our way out, Bug,” He added with a squeeze of your shoulder. 

“Stop!” You hissed. “Yes, you should stick around,” Nya replied as she pulled her jacket on with an encouraging nod. “See what happens,” Andrew continued. “You might get lucky.” “Who even talks like that anymore?” You asked with a frown.

“Whatever, but you should, you’ve gotta close,” Andrew told you with a serious look.

What did that even mean? You hadn’t dated since undergrad, and your med school hookups had usually been found on dating apps. You weren’t sure if you even knew how to go through those steps in person.

You shook your head as you grabbed your stuff, Blessing telling you to text her if you went home with him so that someone knew where you were as you said your goodbyes.

“Bye!” “Get home safe!” “See you!” Your coworkers called out in a chorus of goodbyes as you waved them off.

And then you were standing in the bar alone.

So you took a deep breath and headed over to where Dr. Frank Langdon was standing at the bar.

“Hi,” You greeted him as your hand wrung the strap of your backpack nervously. Even the buzz of two beers wasn’t enough to get you to the level of confidence needed for this.

“Are you heading out?” He asked as he turned to you with a smile. “No, I actually was going to ask if you wanted to have a drink with me,” You told him. A sudden stroke of bravery as you gazed back at him.

A few of the ED nurses were standing around still, deep in their own conversations, but he was clearly on the outskirts, and the other doctors seemed to have disappeared. “Yeah, do you want to sit?” He asked as he gestured to a pair of barstools a few spots down from where his coworkers were. “Yeah,” You replied with a relieved smile as you both took seats, and you watched Frank motion to the bartender for another round of drinks. Only to realize that in the high of anticipating a chance to – what had Andrew called it? Close? That you no longer had any idea what to say to this man. What had you even been talking to him about before? Work?

“Sorry, I don’t really do this,” You admitted. After a brief yet deeply awkward lull.

“Do what?” Frank asked as he turned his whole body to face you, sitting sideways on his stool.

God, did he do this on purpose? Was he aware of the kind of power he had, just by giving his full and undivided attention to you? “Y’know… hit on guys at the bar,” You replied. “Is that what you’re doing?” He asked, a slow smile creeping over his lips as you stared back at him, teeth worrying into your bottom lip anxiously. “Yes, I mean, unless you’re not interested, in which case, no, definitely not,” You replied quickly. Stumbling over your words in a way that could only be described as pathetic. He laughed then; it was a soft chuckle. Not really what you were expecting. I mean, it was deep and kinda sexy (God, you are so easy, it’s embarrassing), but you’d figured a guy like this would be loud, maybe a little obnoxious. One of those barking laughs like your dad’s that shake the whole room and send a jolt of panic through you when you’re not prepared for it.

Oh my God, he was teasing you. 

This was so bad.

“I’m so sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” You muttered as you pressed your hands into your face.

“No! It’s cute,” He protested sweetly as he reached a hand up to lightly pull your wrist down from your face. “Cute?” You asked. Cute was your usual MO, unfortunately. Came with the territory. Dragonfly hair clips and all. But cute wasn’t hot. Wasn’t sexy. Wasn’t I want to take you home and rip my clothes off with my teeth.

“Very,” He replied. “I like it.”

His hand was still wrapped around your wrist. And his thumb was making a slow, gentle patterns on the skin of the inside of your wrist. The movement made your heart race. And butterflies flutter inside of you.

Oh.

So maybe you weren’t doing as badly as you thought.

You took a deep pull of the beer the bartender had placed in front of you at some point during your crisis and looked back up at Frank. 

“What made you decide you wanted to be a doctor?” You asked. Good. Safe question. He definitely couldn’t make this answer sexy. This would give you some time to regroup. Come up with a game plan.

“I don’t know really,” Frank admitted. “It sort of just happened. I mean, I was smart, got good grades, and liked science– biology,  chemistry, and did better than most people. I played football, so I got recruited to a school with a good pre-med track, and I’ve always liked being busy. Harder for me to get in trouble and end up kicked off the team if I was too busy studying for O-Chem.”

You nodded knowingly. O-Chem was almost the cause of a switch to Environmental Sciences in your own college career.

“Is that why you’re in the ED?” You asked him. “Keep you too busy to get into trouble?” “ED doctors are pulled from task A to task B every 3-5 minutes, so it works with my ADHD instead of against it,” Frank replied with a nod.

“Smart.”

“What about you?” Frank asked as he picked up his own beer. “Why are you a doctor?”

“Oh, well, I was sick as a kid, in and out of hospitals a lot, I was born with a heart defect, VSD, it didn’t close on its own so I had to have surgery when I was about five,” You told him. “And it’s why I love Peds, because I know what it’s like to be that scared, sick kid, and the nurses and doctors, they never made me feel anything other than safe and cared for.”

“I want to do that for as many other kids as I can.”

“Wow…that’s…” “Kind of a huge mood dampener,” You finished his sentence for him with an apologetic smile. “Sometimes I do that without meaning to, sorry.” “I think that’s beautiful, and your heart defect, no lasting issues?” He asked, ever the doctor.

“Totally healthy life ever since, just a scar, right here,” You told him as you drew a line down about three inches of your collarbone. 

Frank’s gaze dropped down to where your fingers lingered, pressed into your chest right between your breasts. His eyes were dark, even when they darted away, back up to your own.

You grinned despite yourself at the realization. The confirmation that he was just as attracted to you as you were to him.

“Would you like to come home with me?” You asked, the question coming out of your mouth with the help of the third beer now sitting in front of you, completely drained. “Yes,” Frank replied.

“Oh!”

You’d initially planned to just wait for the bus and take it home; your apartment was an easy 15-minute ride from the hospital. Intentionally chosen for that specific reason. 

But Frank was already pulling up the Uber app on his phone and turned it toward you to put your address into.

Your roommate, Clara, another new resident, a girl you’d met on Facebook, was on a night shift rotation in the ICU, which meant she would be gone and you wouldn’t have to awkwardly walk Frank past where she liked to floss on the couch while watching X-Files.

You closed out (well, you stood awkwardly next to Frank while he closed out, you’d already closed after the round you bought for your team), and the car pulled up outside. You took the Uber ride to shoot a text off to Blessing, confirming that you were heading home and leaving out the fact that you had company coming home with you. 

It would be bold for Frank, if he were a serial killer, to kill you in your own apartment, you had decided. Probably not the wisest thought process, but you were three beers deep.

Either way, you’d either be fine, and this way you wouldn’t have to deal with the gossip in the morning, or if he did decide to kill you, Clara would find your body when she got home from her shift. 

And she would use all of that X-Files and CSI knowledge to avenge you. 

Frank’s hand was rubbing slowly up and down your leg during the ride. In a way that was also not helping your brain process effectively. 

You felt ready to combust when the car pulled up in front of your building, and you were pulling Frank out of the car and up the stairs of your walk-up as quickly as you could manage without ripping his arm off.

“Here we are,” You stated helplessly as you fumbled in your bag for your keys, struggling to unlock the door while Frank’s hands settled on your hips.

“Ah, there we go!” You exclaimed as you successfully got the door unlocked and pushed it open. 

You turned to grin at Frank with self-satisfaction. As you turned your face up to his, you saw the look of amusement on his face before he was crowding you into your entryway and pushing you against the wall as he kissed you resoundingly.

You were both shucking off your scrubs and the rest of your clothing as you led him down the hallway toward your bedroom. Undershirts, shoes, and scrubs littered the hallway as you moved, neither one of you breaking apart for anything that took much longer than pulling a shirt over your heads.

By the time your ass landed on the edge of your bed, you were stripped down to your bra, underwear, and socks, and Frank was down to his boxers and undershirt. 

You were drunk enough that you couldn’t feel much embarrassment, just the need pooling low in your belly as you leaned back on your elbows, enjoying the view as Frank pulled his undershirt up over his head and revealed a delightful expanse of dark hair covering his chest and trailing down his torso into his boxers.

God, you wanted to lick down that trail of hair.

Then everything got kind of hazy. You pulled your bra and panties off as he shucked off his boxers, and he attacked you with a ferocity you thought only the male main characters in your trashy romance novels could. 

He devoured you. Ate you out with his whole body, his face pressed against you until you came around his tongue and fingers. And then he kissed up your body before pressing his lips to yours, mouth open as he stuck his tongue in your mouth, and you could taste yourself on him.

He groaned as you sucked on his tongue, and he reached down to shuck off his boxers, and you felt his cock, hard and heavy as it bobbed between the two of you as he moved to slot himself between your open legs.

You reached over toward your bedside table, pulling open the drawer and reaching around blindly until you felt for a loose condom which you grabbed at and held up between your bodies for Frank.

He made quick work of rolling it on. And then the blunt head of his cock was being pressed against your opening.

The movements were almost perfectly in sync. With every thrust he gave you, you met him. Both of you were searching for your own climaxes, but the fervent action somehow worked to compound the pleasure as you both groaned into the air between you. 

“Fuck,” Frank grunted out, his brow furrowed tightly in concentration as his hands grasped at you, anywhere and everywhere, as his hips snapped.

“Right there,” You told him, your voice sounding faraway, almost like it wasn’t yours at all. “I’m already so close.”

“You feel so good,” Frank ground out as he shifted slightly, arching up away from you, one of his hands finding purchase on your neck, curled around the nape as his thumb pressed into the column on the side. “I’m gonna,” One of your own hands dropped down from where you held onto Frank’s back down to the apex of our thighs where they found you clit, you pressed down, and your cunt clenched down on Frank as the wave of pleasure began to crest, and you continued to press down and rub.

“Fuck, I’m gonna-” Frank ground out as his thrust became sloppy, and then he let out a loud grown as he pressed a deep into you as he could. 

You rubbed fast to catch up, pushing forward to your own orgasm which followed shortly after thanks to the deep press of him against your g-spot. Your legs shook as you gasped for air, feeling the ricochets of your own orgasm.

He didn’t even notice your geode collection until after you’d both caught your breath, coming down from the high. 

“Are those…crystals?” “Sort of, they’re geodes,” You explain with a shrug. “They look like normal rocks on the outside, but they’ve got crystal formations on the inside that you have to crack them open to find. Nature’s treasure chests.”

He’d laughed about it while you watched him search for his boxers. And you’d pulled the robe draped over your desk chair around you to watch him from your bedroom doorway as he reverses his path, collecting his clothing one item at a time as he puts them back on.

No phone number. No half-hearted “I’ll call,” that both of you knew he wouldn’t mean. Just a wave, smile, and he’d said, “I’ll see you around the hospital,” and then he was out the door.

It was good sex. Great sex even. A proper one-night stand. And you were strangely proud of yourself as you walked, on wobbly legs, down your hallway, picking up your own discarded clothes before dropping them in your laundry basket, before collapsing back onto your bed and passing out. 

You hadn't thought much of it at the time. You woke up the next morning feeling loose, if a little sore, and maybe a tinge hungover. But it was a day off, so you took a nice long shower, washed away the alcohol and sex, and went about your usual day off routine. 

Blessing and Andrew teased you a bit about your ED flirtation – calling Frank “your ED Ken,” but you just said something vague about flirting at the bar for a while before going home, and so they left it alone, and that was that.

Until the day after the Pittfest shooting.

“Did you hear what happened?” Nana, one of your Peds nurses, stage-whispered to Blessing while you were charting at the computer closest to the nurse’s station on your floor.

There was an eerie feeling throughout the whole hospital today. Yesterday had been one of the worst days PTMC had experienced in a long time. 

They had a handful of new patients, victims from yesterday’s shooting.

The ED, Surgery, and ICU had been hit the hardest, having to take the brunt of the treatment, but even Peds was overcrowded with their influx of young patients, most of whom were recovering from gunshot or trampling injuries. The whole thing made your heart clench painfully.

“What?” Blessing asked. “Apparently, one of the ED doctors got in a big fight with Dr. Robby yesterday, got sent home, and today he came in and self-reported a drug addiction,” Nana told Blessing. “Really?” Blessing replied, her interested piqued as she dropped the chart in front of her to the desk and looked up at Nana curiously. 

“Isn’t that supposed to be private?” You couldn’t help but interject. “Well…” Nana muttered. A brief look of chagrin crossing over her face before it passed and she shrugged. “Who was it? Someone we know?” Blessing pressed, ignoring your comment completely.

“Langdon,” Nana replied. “Dr. Langdon?” Blessing asked, her eyebrows jumping. “ER Ken?” She clarified. “Yeah.”

Your typing completely stopped. Frank Langdon had a drug addiction? And had just reported it? You had never really spoken properly since your one-night stand. There was no point, and you rarely crossed paths, but in those fleeting moments where you’d crossed paths, if you were down for a consult in the ED, or if you found yourself in the hallways outside the ORs at the same time, you traded smiles and pleasantries. It left like a fun little secret. A knowing smile you could share with someone.

“What’s gonna happen to him?” You asked, no longer pretending you weren’t listening.

Nana shrugged, clearly not bothered with the outcome. “Diversion, I guess? The hospital must have some sort of program, he’ll probably go to rehab,” She told you, before one of the call buttons in front of her started to blink. “Shit, that’ll be Jayson,” She said as she stood to go check on the little boy in 8.” “Damn, you really dodged a bullet with that one, huh, Bug?” Blessing finally said as she turned to you.

“Yeah,” You stammered out as you stared down at your keyboard.

You’d never considered the possibility that Frank Langdon of all people could be an addict.

But then again, you hadn’t really known him, had you?

You’d tried for weeks to figure out more about what had happened to Frank. No one knew much, and you couldn’t ask too many questions, or people got weird. Confused as to why you wanted to know so badly. It’s not like you two had been friends.

But then, a month or two after everything happened, you got called down to the ED to consult on a five-year-old girl who’d come in after a seizure.

You’d been sitting at one of the monitors, pestering the lab for her test results, when you heard low murmuring from two of the nurses behind you.

“Still can’t believe she was the one who ratted on Langdon,” One of them said.

They were both watching one of the ED interns talk to Dr. Robby over in the hallway. “Ratted? He has a drug problem,” The other nurse replied. “She caught him. What was she supposed to do?”

“Have you heard anything? How’s he doing?” “I don’t think anyone’s talked to him?”

“Really? I feel bad.”

“Yeah, but what would you even say to him? Would he even want any of us to reach out? I mean, he basically hit rock bottom.”

“Oh, c’mon, it’s not that bad.” “Not for most people. But for a guy like him? Can you imagine how his wife reacted?”

Wife?

Your back stiffened. When did Langdon get married?

“She must have freaked. Princess said she’s intense, some sort of fancy marketing consultant. She works from home now, part-time, so she can take care of their kids, two and four, apparently. You give up everything for a man, and then he pulls something like this? I’d divorce his ass, but then I’d be a single mom to two under four.”

“Jesus, he’s in a program, it’s not like he killed someone.”

Your mind was still reverberating. Wife. Kids. Four. Two. But that… that didn’t make any sense. 

Because you’d slept with him three years ago.

You didn’t even have to be that good at math to figure that word problem out. 

You’d slept with him. All while he’d had a wife and a one-year-old at home.

“Damn, you really dodged a bullet with that one, huh, Bug?” Blessing’s words from a few months ago reverberated through you.

But you hadn’t. Had you? Instead, you’d unknowingly slept with a married man.

Fuck.

You were such an idiot.

It had been your constant refrain for the last ten months or so.

You were such an idiot. 

He obviously hadn’t been wearing a wedding ring that night. Even drunk, you would have noticed that. 

But what about every time you’d seen him in the intervening two and a half years?

Had you really never once noticed a shiny piece of metal on his ring finger?  

You were supposed to be smart. You were a fucking doctor. But apparently, you were blind to things right in front of you. 

He’d played you. And you’d been too stupid. Too naive. Too blinded by your attraction to him to realize it.

And how it was too late. You’d been an active, willing, eager participant in Frank’s infidelity.

You were the other woman. And she probably didn’t even know. If he’d lied about a drug problem, why wouldn’t he lie about his cheating?

The ED was one of your worst nightmares. It was loud and hectic and always smelled kind of weird. Peds was chaotic in its own way, of course it was, it was full of sick children. Crazy stuff happened. But it was a sweet, cute, adorable kind of chaos. 

The Pitt was pure insanity. You’d had several panic attacks during your rotation down here. It was not a place you liked to visit.

You were trying to get to the nurses' station as efficiently as possible, but nurses, med students, and patients were constantly weaving around you.

“Hi, someone called for a Peds consult and didn’t give a room number,” You finally called out once you had a sightline on the petite blonde Charge Nurse. Dana? You want to say her name was? “Ah, that’d be C14, I’ll send the doctors over to meet you,” She replied with a nod.

“Hey, you called for a Peds consult? What are we looking at?” You said as you heard footsteps making their way directly to you, before you could pull your gaze up from the tablet you were clicking through – test results for one of your leukemia patients upstairs. 

And that’s when you saw which doctor had called for the consult. “Oh, Dr. Langdon!” You exclaimed in surprise before you could help yourself. The man you’d been trying to avoid for the last few weeks was standing right in front of you.

You did not, in fact, combust there on the spot. No, instead you just stared dumbly back at him.

“In the flesh,” Frank replied with a self-efacing shrug as he looked over you, almost right past you. “We’ve got a 16-day-old infant presenting with a fever of 101.”

He was just going to– oh. Yeah, okay.

You could totally just roll with this. Yeah.

He’d been gone for months, but yeah, just pretend none of that had happened. Act like he’d been here the whole time. Or on fucking vacation, not in rehab. Who would want to follow up on that? Especially when you had a thousand burning questions and accusations spiraling in your head.

“Gotcha, have you ordered the workup?” You asked him, moving smoothly onto business. “Yes, but the mom is asking for someone from Pediatrics.” The student doctor at Frank’s hip interjected. “Student Doctor Javadi,” She introduced yourself. 

“Hi!” You said before you introduced yourself. “I’m happy to offer some reassurance,” You tell the pair with a nod as you push into the exam room, fussy baby noises already starting to bombard you as you offer the mom an apologetic smile.

“Hi there,” You greet the mom before introducing yourself. “I know this can feel really scary, first ER visit, but I’m glad you came in today. Who do we have here?” You ask as you peer down at the crying child in her arms.

“Hi, this is Charlie, and I’m Sarah,” The mom, Sarah, told you. Her eyes were tired, and more than a little bleary, a mixture of sleep deprivation and frustrated tears, most likely, as she rocked her baby.

“Have Dr. Langdon and Student Dr. Jivadi explained what we’re checking for today?” You asked gently. “Sort of, I mean-yes, but I don’t think I really understood, it’s just… I guess I thought sepsis was something old people got?” Sarah replied. “That’s a very common belief. Sepsis is just what we call it when the body overreacts to an infection. It can be serious if it’s left untreated, but if baby Charlie here has only had a fever for about a day, then we are in the early window, and everything is very treatable. We just need to do the workup to see if it is Sepsis, and then we will go from there.” “Your nurse is going to be collecting blood, urine, and spinal fluid for lab testing. We do those to rule out sepsis. We’re also going to start IV antibiotics immediately while awaiting results.”

“Does that make sense?” You asked again, checking in as you saw Sarah’s expression start to glaze over. “Yes, I think so,” She replied hesitantly. “If you have any questions, ask,” You told her. “Especially as we start running tests, there are going to be a handful of needles and things that are going to make everything kinda scary, but we can take a breath and talk through things whenever it gets intense, okay?” “Okay,” Sarah replied with a nod. “Thank you,” She added. “Of course,” You replied with a wave of your hand as you reached to grab a pair of gloves. “We’re going to start that IV now. Would you like to hold Charlie for that? Or would you like me to?”

Before Sarah can answer, a nurse pops her head through the doorway.

“Dr. Langdon? We need you in Trauma 1, incoming MVC,” She tells Frank before disappearing again.

“You seem like you’ve got this,” Frank said as he turned back to you for confirmation. “We’ll be just fine,” You replied with a nod before you turned back to Sarah and Charlie, not bothering to wait for Frank to leave the room.

“Hey! Thanks for helping with that infant septic workup,” Frank told you when he caught you heading out once you’d wrapped up with Sarah and baby Charlie. “You’re great with that mom.” “I know,” You replied. Sharper than you’d meant to. But you couldn’t help it. Not with Frank, after all of the anger that had been growing inside you against him. 

“I didn’t realize that you were back to work,” You say instead. It’s a lie. You did realize. You realized it the first day he’d been back, the 4th of all days. You’d seen him walking through the parking lot, loitering outside by the front doors when you’d shown up for your shift that morning.

You’d been anxious and on-edge all day after that because you’d seen him. An anxiety that only multiplied when the computers went off in the middle of that shift.

Felt like an omen. “Yeah, well, I finished rehab, and I’m going through my steps,” he replied, glancing down at his shoes.

It was strange. This version of Frank. He seemed different – in some ways. He was clearly unsure and hesitant in a way you’d never seen from him. But all that cockiness and the bravado, it was all still there, right under this never surface. 

Which either meant that he was demonstrating a new level of vulnerability here in the workforce post-rehab. Or that the kicked puppy-dog thing was just an act to get into everyone’s good graces again. A front. That he’d not changed at all.

And that thought, however unlikely, was deeply worrying to you. “Frank, we need to talk,” You said with a sigh as you jerked your head toward the hallway around the corner.

You needed to get this over with. To get out your feelings so they couldn’t fester any longer. Clear the air. And come up with a plan. “Why?” Frank asked as he trailed after you, until you led him into a quiet hallway, and then into an empty exam room, just to be safe. “Are you serious?” You asked before shaking your head. “Forget it, I was stupid to think that you might have actually changed.”

“I’m sorry, did my addiction somehow affect you, of all people? Because we’re not friends, we don’t even really work together,” Frank replied, his brow furrowed. “Frank, when I heard what happened to you, I was worried about you,” You tell him as you let out a deep breath through your nose. “But then I found out that you have a wife.”

“And two kids,” You add. 

Frank’s eyes widened when he realized what exactly you were about to get at.

“Did that not seem like pertinent information to disclose at some point before you fucked me three years ago?”

“Keep your voice down!” Frank hissed as his head whipped toward the open door. “Oh, now you care about your reputation?” You asked as you crossed your arms over your chest. “Why am I not surprised?”

“It’s not-” Frank started to stammer out.

“Frank,” You cut him off, shaking your head. “You made me a… an adulteress!” 

“Don’t be dramatic,” Frank scoffed.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You replied. “What the actual fuck is wrong with you?”

You were trying to maintain your composure, but your frustration was starting to wear you down, and tears started to well in your eyes which only made you more upset. 

You refused to cry in the ED. You refused to cry in front of Frank Langdon.

“Listen, I’m sorry, it was a complicated situation, and it happened one time, it’s not like it mattered to either one of us, right?” Frank implored. “It’s not about that at all, Frank,” You replied. Shaking your head. “God, you don’t even feel bad about it, do you?” You asked. “Does she know?” “Your wife,” You clarified.

Frank’s silence as he stared back at you helplessly was all the answer you needed.

God, you really were an idiot.

And Frank? Frank was a Grade-A asshole. “God, you really are pathetic,” You replied. “Tell your wife, Frank. Or I will.”

And with that, you pushed past him and made a beeline for the elevator, desperate to get back to the safety of your own floor. Eight floors between you. The way it always should have been.