pretentious is my middle name

He took my hand and said "run." I've been running since.

[babyionian-deactivated20200611]

[minutia-r]

“Where did you learn to fight like that?”

“I have three older brothers.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Wilson played first table on the chess team, Chester used to start crying every time he heard a sad song, Dan can really rock a cocktail dress and six-inch heels, and I wasn’t going to let anyone give them any shit for any of that.  So I had to learn to beat up people bigger than me pretty early on.”

[realkaijuhavecurves]

This is my new favourite post. Whenever there’s a female character who fights, it’s always because she’s learned from older male relatives. I’m gonna print this post and put it on my wall bc it gave me new hope for humanity.

[theconcealedweapon]

[gaylor-moon]

*cough*

[liberalsarecool]

When the truth stares you in the face.

[gilkenansmonsterhouse2006-deact]

hi im a woman living in a post apocalyptic environment/desert island on a tv show and i have the smoothest armpits u have ever seen

[daxina-deactivated20170717]

hi im a woman in medieval times and my eyebrows r perfect and I have no leg hair

[busket]

hello im a viking woman in a movie and i have a thin and trim waist and a huge rack and perfect eyeliner

[fancynancyadventures]

Hi I’m a women in a world without power and I wake up with perfect curled hair

[thecompellingwriter-deactivated]

Hi I’m a teenage woman anywhere and I have a perfect face without blemishes, acne, or any redness. In fact I look perfect.

[hanni-bunny-lecter-deactivated2]

hi, i’m a woman in every movie and i don’t menstruate. at all.

[goodscreencaps]

[gothic1997]

[monica-geller]

omg yesterday at work my boss handed me a cheque and was like ‘i need you to deliver it to this building, it’s quite a large amount of money so be careful’ and i looked at it and it was just over 1.4 million dollars

1.4 MILLION DOLLARS

someone out there in this world thought i was emotionally mature enough to just fuckin…. carry…… in my own two hands….. 1.4 million dollars…. for 3 city blocks….. in the slight wind…..

let me fuckin tell you i have never been more stressed in my ENTIRE LIFE my palms were sweaty knees weak arms spaghetti i was carrying 1.4 million packets of gum in my hands AND IT WAS WINDY WHAT IF I HAD DROPPED IT?? WHAT IF 1.4 MILLION DOLLARS HAD JUST BEEN FLOATING AROUND THE CITY IN THE WIND???? like do you even god damn understand how many packets of gum that is 

i bet nobody in the world has even SEEN 1.4 million packets of gum at once and there i was LITTLE OLD ME with the power to PURCHASE 1.4 MILLION PACKETS OF GUM AND I WAS JUST WALKIN AROUND IN THE SLIGHT WIND AND nobody… KNEW… NOBDOY WHO WALKED PAST ME… COULD UNDERSTAND… THE POWER… THE GUM… IN MY POSESSSION 

and then i got to the building and it was so fancy the doorman who was probably 40 years older than me called me ma’am and i didn’t know how to respond so i laughed nervously and said thank you which i don’t think is actually the appropriate response to someone calling you ma’am now that i think about

AND THEN I GOT TO THE OFFICE OF THE GUY WHO IW AS GIVING THE CHEQUE TO AND MY HANDS WERE SHAKIN AND HE JUST TOOK IT SO CASUALLY AND SAID THANK YOU AND WALKED BACK INTO HIS OFFICE AND I WANTED TO BE LIKE MARK BUDDY DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW MANY PACKETS OF GUM YOU ARE VIRTUALLY HOLDING RIGHT NOW but i didn’t because mark is the kind of person who just casually takes 1.4 million dollar cheques from people and i’m terrified of him 

[heavybreathingswift]

THIS IS THE BEST STORY IVE EVER READ THANK YOU FOR SHARING

[artible]

i procrastinated doing all my sketches for art class and all of the prompts we are given are really dumb so i painted this instead

[louvurs]

9 year olds now worry about iphones and makeup when i was 9 i was worried about if miley was gonna pick jake or jessie on hannah montana

[petrcpaldi]

me, in tears: please, please just stop making typos, it's not that hard i promise

my fingers: fcukc yoy

[miucciuh]

[suckitnerds]

I’m not a cottage guy.

[jovan]

hefty bag of coleslaw

[stability]

[fuks]

[princess-pizzas]

This is the content I came to see on this website

[old-manrupee]

They’re learning how to open .rar files

[messy-elliot-deactivated2021041]

I love this!

[zamzamafterzina]

I like this

[stilllearning90]

Ok but the girl he compared to a cheesecake is cute and so is her dress. Like her whole look was on point.

[iron-sunrise]

Ok but I need the discussion about why Black men can’t stand to see Black women happy.

[mugglebornheadcanon]

759. The muggleborns sending howlers to the purebloods, and when they open them, “Never Gonna Give You Up” starts playing. The purebloods are confused, but you can hear the chorus of groans from the other muggleborns.