title: through infinite centuries and beyond ship: taegi word count: 3.5k warnings: drinking, cursing, sexual content. notes: written for kpopficmix 2018. crossed posted on ao3. remix of multiple choice by Belgium.
credit to J for sparking the idea behind this fic and a huge thank you to her for being my personal cheerleader and supervisor despite her own busy schedule. i couldn't have finished this without you allowing me to text scream at you @ 2am. a big thank you to Belgium for writing such a beautiful and creatively written piece and for allowing it to be remixed. i hope i did it justice.
fic is unbeta'd, all mistakes here are mine. title is from DNA.
summary: "Have a think about this: there is a theory that suggests the universe is so large that everything that can happen is happening all the time." – modern family, ‘written in the stars’ Or: Yoongi just wants to make things right for Taehyung. Taehyung just wants Yoongi.
But that is the past now, we didn’t last now I guess that this is meant to be – nothing like us
= NOW
Here’s the thing, there’s a thin line between being a coward and being smart enough to find the right time and place. Seokjin can call him a wuss all he likes but Yoongi knows Seokjin’s projecting. There’s a reason why Jungkook faces no resistance when he bosses Seokjin around. Seokjin doesn’t have the balls to cause Jungkook any bit of unhappiness, much less express his feelings for the younger boy. So yes, Kim Seokjin can call him whatever he wants, Min Yoongi knew he was no coward.
He’s a little less drunk than he hoped he would be, but turning back to the bar for one more drink wasn’t an option. Not when both Seokjin and Jungkook were there making heart eyes towards each other while snickering at him for what he was about to do next. He didn’t need the extra bit of liquid courage, because unlike a certain someone, Yoongi was sure he had no problem confessing his feelings. He just had to manoeuvre across the crowded dance floor to where Taehyung was, right between the DJ booth and the speakers.
“Hyung! You’re here!”
“I need to tell you something, Taehyung-ah.”
“What? I can’t really hear you over the music!”
“We’re too close! To the speakers!”
“But this is the best spot!” Taehyung shakes his head, amused. “Dance with me, hyung!”
“I-I don’t dance.”
“Come on!” Taehyung tugs on his arm. “It’ll be fun!”
“Wait, wait, Taehyung-ah,” Yoongi takes a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “I like you, do you want to go out?”
“What? I can’t hear you, hyung. Gimme a sec–”
“I like you! Do you want to go out!” The music cuts.
Taehyung looks at him, wide-eyed. “Oh. Oh no.”
The lack of music only makes his response clearer. Yoongi’s heart thunders, the buzzing of the crowd around them grows, Taehyung’s soft ‘oh no’ echoes in his mind. Despite the dim lights, Yoongi is pretty sure he spotted Seokjin almost slipping off his bar stool from laughing too hard.
“I’ve got to go,” he peels away from Taehyung who doesn’t stop him, Taehyung who watches him with guilt apparent in his eyes. This whole thing was a mistake; Yoongi never should have said anything. At this point, he figures that being a wuss like Seokjin and never confessing would have been the better plan. He just had to make that choice.
<< BEFORE
Yoongi goes back to the beginning. In fact, he goes back to before the beginning and skips out on having met Taehyung at all. It’s a decision he figures he could live with, not having the chance to know Taehyung would be better than messing things up with Taehyung later. Any memories of what they had from before (technically, it was after. or in this case, never.) were his to have and hopefully forget in the months to come.
Skipping around in time came with unavoidable risks. There’s a reason why Yoongi doesn’t hop back and forth as and when for trivial things like grabbing an umbrella on unexpected rainy days or getting winning numbers for the lottery, regardless of how convincing Jungkook and Seokjin think they might be. His mere presence would cause a ripple in the stream of time he was in, the universe having to shift in order to accommodate every minute difference his actions would make.
Perhaps messing with fate or destiny or whatever higher power that brought Taehyung and him together would bring about significant irrevocable changes to this pocket universe. Perhaps it would not. Yoongi is counting on the latter as he goes through his third day of this new timeline. The economy hadn’t changed, his family was doing great, his friends were still assholes. Everything seemed to be fine and soon he would be too.
It’s a regular Tuesday afternoon when he first encounters Kim Taehyung in this time. Yoongi catches sight of Taehyung watching him while he pesters Seokjin for a ‘friend discount’ at the elder’s café. He brushes it off curiosity and a strong habit of people watching. The younger had always enjoyed making up stories for the strangers that would pass them by when they were out for late night fast food runs. He vaguely wonders what story Taehyung has spun up for him as he keeps his eyes fixed on the espresso machine behind the counter. Yoongi still feels eyes on him as he leaves, he doesn’t turn to check if they were Taehyung’s.
It’s easy enough to pretend he doesn’t care that Taehyung watches him closely whenever they end up at the café on the same days. Yoongi doesn’t stop him and Taehyung doesn’t do anything more than watch. The aim of the game he had with himself was to not engage with Taehyung, not this time. The increased frequency of their encounters was something he’s reduced to coincidence. (Though he’s never believed in coincidences, not when he knows that everything happens for a reason.) He was pretty sure that this was a delayed joke of some sort being played on him for having tried to avoid the inevitable. Taehyung had somehow managed to find his way back into Yoongi’s life, carefully watching him with a spark in his eyes that Yoongi has to try extremely hard to ignore.
“Do you know that guy, Yoongi-yah?” Seokjin asks a week later as he slides an iced coffee and a slice of what appeared to be strawberry shortcake over the counter to Yoongi. Taehyung didn’t have to present for Yoongi to know that Seokjin was referring to him.
“No, and I didn’t order the cake, hyung.”
“Oh! It’s a new recipe, I need you to test taste it. Are you sure about not knowing him? He looks like he knows you.”
“He’s not supposed to.”
“Huh?”
“It’s nothing, hyung. Thanks for the cake.”
He makes up his mind two weeks later when he sees Taehyung for the third consecutive time in a week. The plan of letting his memories fade as the days passed could never work out. It was difficult to forget someone when they were just there within reach, the subject of the mantra in his mind. (‘I know you, I love you, I want you.’) Yoongi figures if he was destined to have Taehyung in his life, he was going to do it right.
>> FORWARDS
Yoongi skips forward to a couple months after the incident at the club. It’s a solid point of time to escape most of the lingering embarrassment (especially with friends who would never live it down). Surely he hasn’t missed out on anything too major from then.
He isn’t so sure how or why he managed to end up where he was, but he was sure this was a way better situation than what he was in before. Taehyung is next to him in a cab, hands sliding under his shirt as he mouths at the underside of Yoongi’s jaw. He steals a glance out the window as the car come to a stop and is grateful that they had decided to go to Taehyung’s instead of his place. God knows both Seokjin and Jungkook would ruin the mood with their aggressively loud video gaming.
Yoongi would love nothing more than to take his time in appreciating the beauty that was Taehyung, to trace the expanse of his back, to press kisses along his collarbones. There was so much he wanted to do now that he had the chance but there was an urgency in the way Taehyung straddles him, fingers tracing down his chest.
Taehyung’s nails dig into his shoulders as Yoongi lowers him down his length. He groans at the heat of Taehyung enveloped around him, and moves slowly to ease Taehyung into the stretch. The pace he sets doesn’t last long, not with the way Taehyung grinds down, his low murmurs urging Yoongi to “go faster please hyung please please hyung, ah–”.
Taehyung shudders when he comes, muffling his drawn-out groan in the juncture of Yoongi’s neck. The tightness around his cock pulls Yoongi over the edge, he finishes with Taehyung’s name on the tip of his tongue and supernovas behind his eyes.
Apparently, this wasn’t just a one-time thing based on the fact that Taehyung had a towel and a toothbrush set-aside for him. He hands them over to Yoongi with a grin and tells him not to use all the hot water or else. Yoongi had wanted to ask ‘or else what?’ but Taehyung had left the bathroom in search of what Taehyung calls his ‘cuddle pyjamas’ after tossing a damp washcloth, which he had used to wipe off the drying cum off his skin, into the sink.
If he finds it oddly domestic for them to be standing side by side as they brush their teeth in a shared set of pyjamas (‘cuddle pyjamas’, he reminds himself), Yoongi doesn’t say a word. Yoongi had snatched up the pyjamas top when it became clear that the younger male had the one set and sharing was the only way one of them wouldn’t be full out naked post wash-up. As hard as Yoongi was trying to not stare at the reflection of the topless male beside him, Taehyung’s eyes were trained on the constellation of bruises he’s left scattered across Yoongi’s collarbones and chest, unintentionally framed by the loose collar of his too big sleep shirt.
“These will take forever to fade,” he frowns at his own reflection, the red marks standing out against his pale skin.
Taehyung rinses his mouth before grinning up at Yoongi, “I know.”
Before he can say anything in response, he gets ushered towards the bed and finds himself slipping under the covers at the expectant raise of Taehyung’s eyebrow.
“Goodnight, hyung,” Taehyung yawns as he throws an arm over Yoongi’s waist and rests his head on the older male’s shoulder. His breathing mellows out soon enough, the combined warmth of Yoongi and the blanket lulling him to slumber.
‘Well, this is awkward,’ Yoongi thinks. ‘Not for him, at least.’ He glances down at Taehyung who looks so serene in sleep, lost in dreams that have him smiling and pressing in closer to Yoongi. Taehyung looked like he’s exactly where he wants to be with someone he wants to be with, except Yoongi has no idea who that someone is. It was him, he knows this. But he also knows that he has zero recollection as to how this thing Taehyung and him have come about. How could he be someone Taehyung wants if he wasn’t sure who that he was? Yoongi stiffens, the once cosy warmth of Taehyung beside him feels stifling, the arm across his waist constricting more than comforting.
“I have to go,” he blurts out as he pulls away from Taehyung, jarring him out of his light sleep.
“Wha-?”
“I’m not what you want, Taehyung-ah. I shouldn’t be here.”
“You don’t know what I want,” Taehyung’s words are clear despite having being jolted awake, the determination carrying through in his voice. His fingers tighten their grip on the soft cotton of Yoongi’s top as he blinks up at him. “Don’t go this time, please.”
Yoongi hesitates, eyes fixed on the way Taehyung gets minutely more worried as seconds pass in silence. “…okay.”
“Thank you.”
Yoongi slips out of Taehyung’s arms when he’s sure the younger male is asleep. He can’t stay here, not with this Taehyung, not in this time. It’s for the better, really. He doesn’t know how they’ve gotten here but he is going to make sure he would fix this. Taehyung deserves better than coming back to someone who chooses to leave him each and every time. Kim Taehyung deserves someone who could give up anything for him. Yoongi’s just hoping there was a chance that could be him.
> AFTER
If there was one way to find out how Taehyung and him ended up where they would be in the next few months, Yoongi had to go back to the time of the incident. Surely it can’t be as bad as he remembers.
Yoongi nurses the drink that Jungkook had handed him when he reached the bar, head hung low in defeat. He was pretty sure the only reason it was Jungkook who delivered the drink was because Seokjin was still laughing his ass off somewhere far away from them. Taehyung was thankfully nowhere in sight as well. He wasn’t sure he was ready to talk to the younger male just yet about what had happened earlier.
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out, hyung,” Jungkook sips on his coke and rum. “Seokjin-hyung says you’ve been planning this for a while.”
“It’s fine, Kook-ah.”
“That was really awkward though, I can’t believe you the music cut off right as you shouted. I guess Taehyungie-hyung’s embarrassed too. I mean, he came by to ask where you were and then rushed off when we spotted you heading over.”
“Oh,” Yoongi looks down at his drink. He can’t do this; he can’t fix whatever this was. Taehyung couldn’t possibly have wanted something so public or embarrassing, it was no surprise he was avoiding Yoongi right now.
He decides to head home early after downing his drink, citing a morning meeting he had to prep for as his reason. How pathetic must he have appeared such that Jungkook had sent him off with nothing but a ‘goodnight’? Jungkook, that little shit, usually tagged on ‘grandpa’ whenever Yoongi is the first to head off. He pats Jungkook on the back, making his way to the exit while he drops Seokjin a message ‘heading home. be quiet when u come home asshole’.
He doesn’t hear Taehyung calling out to him.
He should have known better than to answer the door. Morning visitors to his place were almost non-existent and when they did come, they were never anything good. Case in point, Park Jimin who hadn’t stopped frowning at him since Yoongi had let him in.
“You know where coffee and stuff is. Help yourself, Jimin-ah”
“What the hell, hyung.”
“Huh?”
“What do you mean ‘huh’? What the hell was that with Taehyung last night?”
“There was nothing with Taehyung and me last night,” Yoongi takes a sip of coffee. There was no way he was going to have this conversation without any caffeine in his system to wake him up.
“Yeah. There was nothing. Why?”
“Because… he said ‘oh no’ after I told him I like him?”
“He didn’t mean that, hyung. He only said it because he was the one who signalled for the DJ to cut the music.”
“Uh huh.”
“I’m being serious, hyung! Just talk to him.”
Yoongi sighs, topping up his coffee from the pot Seokjin had set aside earlier in the day. He pulls up a second cup for his visitor. “It doesn’t matter. I can’t be what he wants, Jimin-ah.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Trust me, I do.”
“Talk to him.”
“I don’t want to fuck things up. Again.”
“You don’t have to worry about that. I’ll be there to make sure Taehyung’s okay. And also to kick your ass.”
“I would like to see you try, Jimin-ah.”
“I’ve a black belt in taekwondo, hyung,” he accepts the coffee, blowing on its surface to cool it down. “Promise me you’ll talk to him, alright? Taehyung seemed really upset last night; he mentioned something about things going wrong and how he really likes you since you first met.”
“He did?”
“God knows why he would say that though, you were such a grump that day.”
“Oh.”
Bingo.
< BACKWARDS
Yoongi was going to officially meet Taehyung for the first time three days later. That means he has a 72 hours to psyche himself up about starting over and not making a fool of himself when the encounter happens. He speaks in hypotheticals with Seokjin to explain his new found determination in passing off as Solid Boyfriend Material. Seokjin looks at him as though he’s crazy and unhelpfully informs him that he always ends up making a fool of himself so why bother with the extra effort. It’s good to see that Seokjin was still Seokjin. Once again, the effects of him skipping around have failed to make his friend less of a dick.
These 72 hours were crucial in getting things right, in making things perfect. He wasn’t sure he could afford to mess up again, not after vowing that to stick with whatever he was going to face this time.
Here’s the thing about skipping backwards to relive moments over again: it’s exhausting. His memory is packed with experiences from all the times he’s gone through the same thing, minor details lost as his recollections start to blur together. Every day is a repetition of what he’s lived through before, the knowledge of what’s to come makes it difficult for him to decide against intervening with every little thing he knows would happen. Every action has a reaction and Yoongi would prefer keeping things as they were to living in not knowing what’s to come.
That’s why he doesn’t pass an umbrella to Seokjin on the day he knows an unexpected thunderstorm would hit. He can’t do it without wondering if he would potentially cause an accident by allowing Seokjin to be on the streets instead of spending an extra hour at the café to wait out the thunderstorm. The smallest of things ripple too. Honestly, Yoongi would rather not take the risk when he know his friend was going to be well and alive, and complaining about how ‘the storm was the worst, Yoongi-yah. I just wanted to come home to take a nice warm bathe, order in some food, and play some games. But nooo, I had to spend a whole extra hour on my feet and serving people who came to the café to hide out from the rain’ when he got home.
So when Seokjin enters their shared home an hour earlier than expected with a bright red umbrella dripping on the floor of the entryway, Yoongi is confused.
“Wait. Why are you home?”
“Am… I not supposed to be home? Are you hiding someone, Yoongi-yah?”
“No!” Yoongi rolls his eyes. There will come a day where he makes better friends, he swears. “It’s storming, so I thought you would be back late.”
“Oh! A customer passed me his umbrella before he left, said that I would need it for later. It’s like he knew this storm was coming.”
“Huh, that’s weird.”
“Yeah!” Seokjin tosses his bag onto the couch, rummaging through he as he continues. “He said he’d be back tomorrow to collect his umbrella, maybe I’ll give him a slice of that new cake on the house to thank him.”
“The strawberry shortcake?”
“Aww, so you were listening after all. Anyway, I hope Taehyung-ssi likes strawberries.”
“T-taehyung?”
“Mmhmm, that red umbrella is his. Now please tell me you ordered dinner for me before I kick you out of this house.”
He figured that there was no harm heading down to the café and running the risk of being seen by Taehyung, not when a deviation in this timeline had already occurred. What he really wants to find out is how and why Taehyung had been the reason things were different this time around. Whatever future he knew was to come was no longer valid, the 72 hours window he had to prep for being Solid Boyfriend Material had now dropped to a sad 10 minutes which was the time he spent on walking down to the café. He hopes the 10 minutes were enough
The bell tinkles as he pushes the door open, signalling his arrival to one Kim Taehyung who sat at the table next to the clear windows. It’s a beautiful sight to see Taehyung basking in the morning sun, a smile blooming upon his face as he catches sight of Yoongi.
Taehyung calls out to him, waving him over to the table, “Hyung! Yoongi-hyung!”
Yoongi freezes. There was no way Taehyung could know him; it was too early. Curiosity urges him to head over, taking the empty seat across from the younger male.
“Wait… you know who I am, right? It’s Taehyungie, Kim Taehyung.”
“This isn’t right, Taehyung-ah. You’re not supposed to be here. We weren’t supposed to meet here.”
Taehyung sighs in relief, “I know. I just got tired of waiting.”
“What?”
“You were taking too long, Yoongi-hyung.”
“I don’t understand. You’ve been waiting? For me?”
“Yup! You keep running away though,” Taehyung pouts, fingers tracing the condensation lining his cup.
“I– running away?”
“Mmhmm, it’s not easy keeping up with you jumping around here and there.”
His eyes widen at the realization of what Taehyung was implying. “Oh my god. You– you can do what I do. You’ve been chasing after me.”
“I’m sorry, I just really wanted you to not jump around anymore.”
“I wanted to make things perfect for you.”
“You don’t have to, hyung,” he reaches across the table, resting his hand over Yoongi’s. “You just have to stay.”
“Okay, okay, I’ll stay,” He turns his hand over, entwining their fingers. The future was uncertain now; every day was going to be different from what they would be. As he watches Taehyung chase after his straw, Yoongi figures the unknown future couldn’t be bad, now that they were a part of each other’s.
