Mined Sigh

Descriptions of digging for something deeper.

[phalanx-at-life]

to disappear like one never existed

what is the basis of a carbon footprint

excess

how does one reduce this waste

subtract oneself from the situation completely

obviously minimizing activities

but also staying clear of social interaction

the less memories one creates

the less impact one has their gone

thus if one removes themselves from reality

they won’t make excess inducing waves

there will be no wake

slipping into the void unnoticed

perfect

[phalanx-at-life]

something no one sees, vivid vile memories, broken apart by forcing dreams of what could never be, an error in the programming, 001003, so heavily wishing to press delete, a brain full of sticky keys, stuck feeling shifty, myself untrusting, subconscious trying to outwit me, sticky sticky sticky keys, there is an error in the programming, 001003, delete delete delete delete.

[footlingsummers-blog]

Visit Original Link

[phalanx-at-life]

oh-messy-life:

cycles—:

I recall once on the church steps, When I moved to kiss your chest, How we paid such close attention To each sweet and stuttered breath, I should’ve stopped to paint our picture, Captured honest pure affection, Just to document the difference between attraction and connection. I can see all of my friends and I break into empty buildings, When the coast was clear, With backpacks full of beer, We’d throw our bottles from the rooftops At the city; it looked endless. Guess I still don’t see the difference between real purpose and that urgent adolescence.

[phalanx-at-life]

I hope I die soon.

Sorry if this is triggering. I just believe I am a toxin poisoning society and every interaction I'm apart of. I hurt people. I'm a flame deserving to be extinguished. I'm not suicidal but I wish I wasn't here.

[phalanx-at-life]

Narcomnia

I keep blacking out like narcolepsy

Soul sickly sweet like Pepsi

Always second pick

Everyone will forget me

[phalanx-at-life]

What tied us is no more

I walked through the door just like you told me

So many time you said

Maybe we shouldn’t be together

No more maybes baby the time is now

To fly my friends to heaven

I wish I knew how

To carry my beloved from the pits of hell

To save them all

I wish I had a clearer perception

I wish I wasn’t awkward

I wish I didn’t hate the person writing this

If only things went right

I wouldn’t be here this night

I wouldn’t be here

I would be there

If things went right I would be happy…

[phalanx-at-life]

It's interesting how a friend's suicide perpetrates a friend's suicide.

[phalanx-at-life]

A Rest to Arrest

Cursed by some twisted fate Staying up late playing games and watching tv One might think it easy But on the soul it's so hard To live alone when a home isn't empty Now the heart pounds in anxiety The stress overwhelms the body Too late to sleep too early to party Can this day just start again Or the night rather to obtain some rest Not wanting to start a fight Freaking out in silence Just a shadow in the night What to do what to do Always making problems That now have no solution Under covers is where the body goes But too scared to creep Now the eyes refuse to close Insomnia Just leave and make peace Insomnia Is this a disease Insomnia Give it a rest already

[phalanx-at-life]

A Marriage Announcement

The space between was expanse, always hoping for another chance, another escape from this distance. Upon a time of not so far, our bodies close but invisibly barred, thoughts blossomed. Entwining lives deeper, a couple of keepers, whatever else seemed more awesome? Balances and checks, protecters of hex, vowing never to be the ex. Wholly holy we ditched the Bologna, to share gift that is not phony, our spirits bright in harmony, we joined ourselves in matrimony.

[phalanx-at-life]

Expectations

Literally everyday that's supposed to be great Turns grey Making me want to melt into nothing Like a thin liquid that can absorb and evaporate The constructs of society give me no hope Every day to bring us together leaves me alone I'm not cold or uncaring But not the right kind for sharing I suppose When doors start to open I make sure they get closed Getting used to things you hate Like wine to taste You get used to it with age In time it won't matter In time we all decay

[phalanx-at-life]

Hexxxed

I fell into an energy that captured mine and swept me away in time to a different land of unfamiliar faces wearing masks on the front and the back of their bases
One wonders if they are evolved carapaces
Words start to flip when directions switch speaking in tongues from every turn
I’ve grown so accustomed could I ever learn to go back to where I once hailed from
Come with me my dearest friends
I would wish it upon the solemnly 
I would hope to bring them back
But could they ever speak normally
To the end from beginning without swapping their meaning as thoughtful by feeling
Only the adventure knows the endpoint waving in the breeze for it is self aware
To become is to be brought into existence
I was all to be swept away to the land of unfamiliar faces dreaming as if in a daze for days unaware of the time or the place where they stood without movement motion or mood
To be but dead I half nearly said when I yelled out the thoughts from within my head
While the creature in front did not so much as shift the one to my left turned his head in a tiff
The focus was broken you bogus blokes swarm upon thee is one thousand locusts to pocus your hocus
The skies greyed the creatures swayed and the streets ran red with lemonade of strawberry puree
The creatures stroked their goatees while they savored moldy goat cheese and returned to daze for days

[phalanx-at-life]

Sometimes I hate myself for the things I don't do For things I should have done For what I should have been For what I am This is one of those times I wish that I was something greater I distract myself from achieving that goal I delude my consciousness so I can try to smile The smile is only but a veneer I want to accomplish but my muscles need rest When I'm rested all I want is to forget When I've forgotten all I want is to learn But my muscles are now tired I will just burn Burn with desire and hatred of aforementioned statements

[phalanx-at-life]

Exquisite disposition Displayed agape like the Spanish Inquisition Such a vivid description

[phalanx-at-life]

There are times when I hide in the washroom Lean on my knees 'til my feet fall asleep Tears fall from my eyes for no reason But the fact I'm attached to things

[phalanx-at-life]

Bring the brick Gather mortar Build a construct for this disorder Surely necessary for living in shambles Life is such a gamble indeed Though the odds should be even to stay keen Man today Machine mañana Deus ex Machina Bounce along to Balthazar's cantina The last plan for a man in shambles But the first for a man whose plans be trampled Given ample time to realize mistakes Still doesn't stop the headache

[phalanx-at-life]

I want to

Love life Get high, not just on weed Feel vibrant as I once did Be alone but not lonely Have contentment when alone Live as me, not who I try to be Not want

[phalanx-at-life]

Man-you're

Such a bust Such a cuss Always making such a fuss Never enough to be right Always have to make it even Balance the levels Scale the peaks of self destruction

A double edged sword with no hilt Cutting through flesh This weapon is hard to handle Bleed for another Bleed for oneself Need to discover a new plan of disorder A tactless hack Hacksawing as the law Half gnawing off a straw with the jaw Dropping paws on the tile behind claws Forward forged a hidden clause Everyone is a fruit when their brains look like applesauce