Rainbow capitalism but its the Ottawa centaurs getting amazing hockey players for cheap just cus they're gay
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@phantasmsandreveries
Rainbow capitalism but its the Ottawa centaurs getting amazing hockey players for cheap just cus they're gay
yuna: how long have you two been dating?
ilya: uh. like. one spoonful of pasta ago. you were there. we have been fucking for like a decade tho
Every time I see this image
I can’t help but think of this
obsessed with this poor guy who gets dragged away from his takeout menu so his evil bisexual roommate can go have the worst club experience of his life
Last meal with his "family" vs first meal with his family
“can’t believe you treat your gf like this Hollander 😔” has me crying lmao please someone write this
The Long Game — Chapter Nineteen | insp.
Shane loves his personal space. Ilya also loves Shane's personal space.
Yuna and David asking about the timeline of their relationship would have been even funnier if, after discussing how long they've been "lovers":
Yuna: ok, so you've been "seeing" each other for 9 years... And when did you confess your real feelings and decided to be together?
Shane:
Ilya:
Yuna:
David:
Shane:
Ilya: like, today at 4am
Shane Hollander wrote this
kinda love this dynamic where ilya's like i get to have sex with anyone i want anytime i want and i also get to tell you about it while you visibly try to repress your feelings. but the second i think you might be having sex with someone else i am going to absolutely fucking spiral. epic crash out. because when I have sex it is empty and meaningless and utterly devoid of real emotional intimacy but you are a rule-following little dweeb who would still be a virgin if i hadn't deflowered you when we were like 18 so i fucking KNOW it means something to you!!!!!! the hypocrisy is delicious
shane: mom…can you take three steps back please?
also shane at 4am in the morning:
outside of the obvious reasons why the hollanov relationship reveal must be crazy to shane’s parents, it’s gotta be wild to them that their shy, awkward kid is dating the league slut. their kid, who cannot even say the word “sex” without blushing, has been fucking a man whose sexual reputation is a topic of conversation. for a decade. they are in fact on a sexcation together. if you want to see them, you need to text them that you’re on your way there, because even if they know you’re coming in advance, they cannot keep their hands off of each other long enough to properly keep track of time. david hollander sees things start to heat up between them and knows instantly that they have probably fucked against every window in that extremely glass house.
idk i’m obsessed with how shane bringing ilya home is not just him coming out as gay, it’s him coming out as an experienced sex freak.
Yuna and David having watched their autistic son be so isolated all of his adult life and never having a happy relationship or close friends who understand his anxiety and then finding out that the man they’ve spent a decade hating on his behalf can casually talk him down from a panic attack in less than a minute
The face of a man who thinks he's about to hear his boyfriend explain the word fuckbuddy to his mom
i really needed Shane in Ilya’s Ottawa jersey. exactly in this position
inspired by this awesome fic by theprinceandagcd on ao3!!!!
Ilya: I could marry Svetlana to get American citizenship
Shane: and I could commit a murder suicide right now. See how we’re both saying shit