20+ Hyperfixations in a Trenchcoat

Hi! I'm Phantom, 26, she/her. This is the dumping ground for all the filth and bad jokes I find. Just letting you know now, I don't tag anything and I don't have sideblogs, so it's all one big fuckfest. It's not that I don't support tagging content, it's that I am lazy. I reblog NSFW and specifically dark content on the regular, so minors and people who can't separate fiction from reality? BEGONE.

[rimonoroni2]

love how heathers was like you cannot fix him. you cannot save his sorry ass. he’s going to blow himself up on the football field and you’re just going to have to live with that, babe!

[janartworld]

Redraw

First version

[texasbama]

HAPPY 🌈PRIDE🌈 TO CANADA'S OWN SHANE HOLLANDER🧍‍♂️

[alvadee]

noooo not the consequences of my actions!

[taylor-titmouse]

Hello Mr. Titmouse. I was wondering, what sorts of things do the snake oil salesmen of Fantasy Fuckworld sell? I'd imagine it's pretty easy to sell fake magical artifacts, unless the wizards and/or mages care enough to try and crack down on them?

boy it's probably tough out there for snake oil salesmen when you live in a world where magical herbs that do this and that and potions that do this and that do literally exist and you can learn how to make them. like they have all the stuff we do PLUS stuff that actually works.

anyway yeah fake crystal stuff for sure but if you sell that shit anywhere near a dwarf settlement they'll beat your ass on principle. whether wizards/mages crack down on it depends on their local power but do not fuck around with fake rocks and dwarves.

[longseasons]

let's all go out and buy pink refreshing citrusy fruity sexually arousing drinks

[deertusk]

I'm sure Vel offered to use her pop up window magic thingy a thousand times but Val is just too much of a stubborn bug to accept help

[cutecipher]

a cat is a sort of machine that dispenses hair all over you and everything else in the room

[segamascott]

[miybby]

trying not to go insane. might be too late

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

crush totally wasn't impressed by my miraculous flying machine fml

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

oh my god i just saw her get onto an airship with a woman whose tophat has at least twice as many sprockets as mine. i will be killing myself with an elaborate pneumatic pistol tonight

[creekfiend]

hello pip ! do you have tips on what behaviors count as . "i see you as a whole human being" or "i am happy to be your coworker and i want to help!" <- things i genuinely feel but feel like ive fumbled communicating. since im a temp worker and i get put on new assignments all the time i dont rlly feel like i have time to recover... even a short list would be helpful.

god it's so hard bc especially if you're a temp you don't have the time to get to know your coworkers on an organically comfortable timeline. often you will not know them well enough as individuals to be able to tailor your communication methods in ways that will result in a higher chance of successfully overriding any assumptions they are bringing to the interaction.

rather than give you a list of behaviors to enact i would encourage you to try to internalize that your coworkers not correctly interpreting your bids doesn't mean you're doing something incorrectly. many many people are bringing a lot of past feelings and experiences to the table with stuff like coworker interactions, not least of which are patterns they have seen in their past experiences with other temp workers, which they may then be projecting onto your behavior!

so. do your best. but do not take sole responsibility for the outcome. you can only control your own behavior at the end of the day. your coworkers might take you in bad faith and there might be nothing you could do under the circumstances to change that. that's okay. it doesn't mean you did something wrong. often it simply means that the circumstances necessary for developing the level of trust necessary to be able to directly communicate concepts like "I am trying to help you" and be believed are not in place. does that make sense

[blackberryvulpine]

Its hard honestly. I am a very genuine person who likes to help but also likes to stay busy. I often get seen as a passive aggressive try hard, even though I am not.

The way I do it is just... consistency. Which in a temp situation probably won't help a lot, but that's what it has come down to for me. I always say good morning/have a nice lunch/drive safe/see you tomorrow, etc. Just by being polite, I have befriended known sourpusses.

Another thing is, if I know someone sees me as a know it all, I make sure to ask them for help once in a while. People like to know that you value their input! Even if it's just something small, like asking them to proofread or tone check an email. You can probably do that on your own, but involving your coworkers will make them feel valued.

And when they are having a hard time, or being hard on themselves, I make sure to verbalize that I am not holding it against them. Like just telling someone "you're good, I know you have a lot going on." Or "You're new, we're just happy to have you, we don't expect you to learn everything on the first day!"

Basically, the more you participate in the social dance of "I see you", the more likely you will be taken in good faith. It's hard for people to build resentment against someone who always says good morning and brings cookies once a month!

[creekfiend]

these are all super great tips, thank u

[wizard-loving-wizard]

lou 🥰🥰🥰

[wildlocketparadigm]

the face of a man whose about to accuse people of slurs <3

[martini-garnish]

Sorry I have. Rabies. I'm going insane he's ruining my life etc etc nsfw below the cut minors get the fuck out.

Vincent Whittman in the throes of mania and completely unable to tone down the hyperarousal that comes with it. Needing to book it back to his office between shoots because the lights and the cameras and the applause and the eyes on him are driving him insane in the best possible way.

Vincent who's hands are trembling from all the energy with nowhere to go. Who can barely get the door shut before pulling himself out of his expensive camera ready dress pants and fucking his hand for the third time that day. Who can't pull himself together long enough to prepare and ends up making a mess on his office floor.

Who sometimes knows he doesn't have the time to make it there and back and has to settle for the closest bathroom or supply closet and keep his free hand clapped over his mouth because he's so fucking sensitive he can't help but whine and anyone hearing him make sounds like that is unthinkable.

Who makes it another few hours before he's having to stop himself from rocking against his chair on stage while interviewing a guest. Who grits his teeth and gets through it because he prides himself on his control. Who practically runs when they cut for the day but still needs to make himself cum at least once in his car before he can even think about driving home and doing it again.

Vincent Whittman who does not realize past the buzzing energy in his chest that this is becoming just another thing he can never have enough of. That he's finishing dry by the time he makes it to his bed and it honestly is starting to hurt, but he needs one more, just one more. Just. One. More.

[ultrafacts]

In 1973, near Nichinan City in Japan’s Miyazaki Prefecture, the Ministry of Agriculture, Forestry, and Fisheries initiated an experimental forestry project.

[queer-as-city-folk]

5 minutes of research on what American troops did in Vietnam will make you understand why people called them baby killers

[queer-as-city-folk]

[i-am-a-lazy-mess]

hate when I type :) and this 🙂 fucker appears. Go away you evil soul