Alternatives to saying “I’m gonna kill myself” because that’s bad for your mental health!
This will affect the trout population (a classic)
I’m gonna run away and join the circus
Fuck it, we ball (another classic)
The horrors persist but so do I (a third classic)
I’m gonna run away to Vegas
I’m gonna run away to New York/London/other large city near you
I’m too pretty to have this happen to me
The suffering is endless but so is my swag
Life’s a bitch but so am I
















