king of Egypt

don't at me, I don't let no hoe go

[bewbin]

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

[bewbin]

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

[gavilarkholin-deactivated116710]

So my brother and I were best friends growing up. He was hilarious and we got into all kinds of trouble. I still can’t believe some of the shit we got away with. Anyway I guess he had a nervous breakdown one day and accidentally killed a guy. I saw what happened and it totally wasn’t his fault. But he ran away, ranting about how his entire life was a lie or something. Turns out, he was adopted and our parents never told us. I didn’t hear from him for a few years after that. Then he just shows up at this party I’m having. He’s totally grown out his beard like some kind of mountain man. But whatever, my brother is back! So I welcome him home and he pulls this snake out of nowhere. Like, an actual snake. So I try to play it cool. Knowing my brother, this has got to be some kind of practical joke. But my buddies flip out and next thing I know, they pull out some snakes too. I’m thinking, I have to get this under control before this turns into a goddamn reptile show. But before I can say anything, my brother’s snake eats their snakes, which, okay, I guess that improves the situation? So I take my brother aside and ask him what prank he’s trying to pull. That’s when he gets all serious. He reminds me that our dad did some pretty shady stuff, which wasn’t really that big of a deal to me but I guess it was to him. He tells me to check my privilege or some shit and that I should let his people go and anyway that’s how I lost my brother to social justice.

[pharoah-ramsesii]

Woah bro, are we the same person my life exact

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

as a child I desperately wanted a sibling so every time we went camping I would surreptitiously check the reeds along the riverbanks for a baby Moses in a basket

[argumate]

that-- okay I'm no expert but uh I've seen the movie and that didn't work out super well for the sibling, right

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

rip to pharaoh but I’m different

[pharoah-ramsesii]

What does this mean?

[pharoah-ramsesii]

BRB y'all this guy who was like adopted into the family keeps fucking pounding on the front door and saying weird shit.

[evilwizard]

basicaly im blessed by imhotep but it doesn’t really affect my welding career

[pharoah-ramsesii]

Who turned off the sun?

[council-of-beetroot]

"Kill them with kindness" wrong. 10 PLAGUES OF EGYPT!🩸🩸🩸🐸🐸🐸🪰🪰🪰🐅🐅🐅🐂🐂🐂🥵🥵🥵⛈️⛈️⛈️ 🦗🦗🦗 🌑🌑🌑🪦🪦🪦

[council-of-beetroot]

It's that time of year again folks

[pharoah-ramsesii]

Those Hebrews will pay for this!!!!

[pharoah-ramsesii]

I see you all like Pharaoh's posts but yet none reblog.

No rest for those who have betrayed Pharaoh! Work harder, halved portions

[honorlessrogue]

G-d is playing a cruel joke on me by putting erev pesach on april fools

[pharoah-ramsesii]

*coughing* I feel fine

[pharoah-ramsesii]

Why do my cattle keep dying????

[pharoah-ramsesii]

New chariot arriving today, full gilt, having the slaves carry in each piece on top of a feather bed then burning the beds in front of them.

[pharoah-ramsesii]

So your telling me I need to put the frog in before the pot boils?

[tzipporahs-well]

Only one Pesach Song can survive:

Ma nishtana (The Four Questions)

Dayenu (It would have been enough)

Eliyahu HaNavi (Elijah the Prophet)

L’Shana Haba’ah (Next Year)

Echad Mi Yodea (Who Knows One)

Chad Gadya

Other (share in the tags)

Voting ended onMar 19

Also feel free to share in the tags is there’s a specific language version of the song that you prefer most

[pharoah-ramsesii]

Did anyone order locusts to my house?

[bunniope]

unleashing a swarm of opposite locusts that build buildings and plant crops