Phillip Aeneas Kingsbury! This is your mother, please answer my letters! I'm worried sick about you! Come home, dear, I have cookies!
Phillip blinked several times as the Howler incinerated itself. Itwas just like her to close a Howler message with a promise of confections. Alsojust like her to send a Howler in desperation, knowing that the damnable thingswere impossible to ignore and leave unopened.
He sighed and sat back in his work chair, rubbing his hands overhis face, fingertips massaging his closed eyes to work away some of theweariness they felt. She still hadnāt given up after all this time. It wasdepressing beyond description, though comforting in an odd sort of way. Thingsstayed the same as much as they changed.
But he had no intention of replying. He hadnāt spoken to either ofhis parents or even his sister in over two years. He wasnāt about to break thatstreak now. Not when things were heating up so much around them. Not when hiswork was finally becoming so engrossing that heād not even left the house inthree days.
And yet he continued to stare at the pile of ash on his desk, limbs seemingly frozen in place. He wasnāt thinking about answering her. No, definitely not that. He didnāt want to, anyway. Heād never wanted anyone intruding on his feelings, on his grief. Theyād tried so hard to intrude, to mollify, to coddle him and make him feel better and help him heal when heād never wanted to heal. That was why heād separated himself from them in the first place. They were too kind in this blackened, unforgiving world, and he didnāt want or need their kindness when all he wanted was to hurt and let the hurt guide him. Propel him to new, great discoveries. Help him fixĀ the world, which was beyond healing.
So he would not answer his mother, no matter how a little part of his heart hurt at the thought of how she must feel knowing heād ignored her like this.
But there was someone he could see himself reaching out to. It had been long enough⦠perhaps she would have moved past trying to heal him. Maybe she would understand that he didnāt want to heal, but to fix.
After several more minutes of deliberation, Phillip stood and headed downstairs into the kitchen. He nearly turned round and went back upstairs as his hand shuddered over the receiver buttons, but his feet held fast. With the number dialed and the speaker to his ear, he waited, forgetting for a moment to breathe until a soft voice answered on the other end.
āLizzie. Itās me. ⦠Yeah, yeah, itās been a while.ā