Funny idea: Sephiroth pranking Hojo with a gun that fires blanks
*Genesis walks into the SOLDIER break room and immediately points a gun at Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: Is this what our rivalry has devolved into? Murder?
Genesis: Isn’t it wonderful? It fires blanks. Angeal’s puppy used it to prank him, so he confiscated it. Naturally, I then stole it, because an instrument of chaos belongs in more capable hands.
*He tosses it into Sephiroth’s lap*
Genesis: Here, try it out.
Sephiroth: Absolutely not. It’s ridiculous to discharge any firearm inside a military base. Think of the combat trauma and PTSD.
Genesis: Goddess, you’re dull. Keep it anyway. Perhaps one day you’ll feel bold enough to point it at Hojo. Remind him that you, too, possess the power to end his life.
Sephiroth: That is an extraordinarily dangerous suggestion. ....hey, are you cold?
Sephiroth: It’s freezing in here.
Genesis: Because the air conditioning system is malfunctioning again. Maintenance is looking into it.
Sephiroth: Hm. I may need another layer.
Genesis: Here, take my coat *he drapes it over Sephiroth’s shoulders*
Genesis: Yes, I won’t need it. I’m headed to Medical for one of Hollander’s suspicious “routine checkups.”
*Genesis leaves. Sephiroth sits there absently turning the prank gun over in his hands, with Genesis’ bright red coat hanging around his shoulders. Hojo enters and takes in the sight of Sephiroth wearing a red coat and calmly holding a gun*
Hojo: Well well well....I had merely come to summon you for your medical review, but I see you’ve finally pieced it together.
*Hojo retrieves a flask and a cigarette from his pocket*
Hojo: But I suppose it was only a matter of time before you found out. And you’ve reacted in such a predictable way. Mocking me, are you?
*Hojo sits and downs the flask in one go*
Hojo: The red coat, the gun....dressing as Vincent in a futile attempt at psychological warfare. Goodness, Sephiroth, how petty and predictable.
*He lights the cigarette and takes a drag*
Sephiroth, confused as hell: ???
Hojo: Right then. Go on, there’s only one thing left to do. Shoot me.
Hojo: Do it, Sephiroth. Shoot me and end my life right here. I want to stare into your eyes and envision that that they’re his.
Sephiroth, panicking: ????
Hojo: Can’t do it, can you? I figured. You’re a coward just like him—
*Sephiroth shoots the blank— Hojo yelps and has a heart attack, passing out immediately*
*Tseng walks by and peers in. He assesses the scene and how Sephiroth is dressed in red with the gun in his hand*
Tseng: Ah, sweet revenge. Poetic justice, I’d say. Well done.
*Sephiroth has never been more confused in his life*
