[phoebewriter]

SFWA Boldly Enters the Present

Science Fiction Writers of America votes to welcome indie authors to its ranks. At long last! Details here.  

[byjenn2]

I wrote this poem after reading of the Kalakala’s fate in the News Tribune. Article by C. R. Roberts. Photo by Peter Haley.

For the Kalakala - the Flying Bird

They don’t write poems

for the defeated

the vanquished

for the little engine that

almost.

So this poem is for the losers

those bent in half

on their knees or

walking in the wind.

When cheers stop

and the crowd leaves.

When you’ve got to pick yourself up

and just keep going

-just keep going-

Sometimes, your best

isn’t good enough, but

nobody bothered to tell you that.

Sometimes, it seems forces conspire

to

break

you

down.

And they do.

Sometimes, all that’s left is a dark walk to the graving yard.

So, keep your head high.

Go with grace.

And defy those bastards to the dying end.

[phoebewriter]

Book Review: The Norse Myths by Kevin Crossley-Holland

The Norse Myths by Kevin Crossley-Holland

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Embarrassing to admit this — since I dated (for 4 years) a wonderful man who eventually went on to get a PhD focusing on Viking burials — but… I’ve never really been able to get excited about the grim dude-fest that is Norse Mythology. Until this book. Told by Kevin Crossley-Holland, the stories actually feel exciting now! I read one every night, and when I’m done I’m even motivated to go to the notes section to read its background. A great first book on Norse mythology. P.S. I still roll my eyes at the way every object made by the dang dwarves has its own proper name. Asgard is starting to feel like bloody IKEA! But, whatever, I can dig it. I’m a fan now.

View all my reviews

Book Review: The Norse Myths by Kevin Crossley-Holland was originally published on

[phoebewriter]

#PatrickMcLaw, Me, and Other Thought Criminals

I can’t stop thinking about the terrifying story of the Maryland teacher/novelist who’s being weirdly punished because he once wrote a novel that includes a school shooting. No one knows the full story yet… Maybe there will turn out to be more going on here? As is, though, it sure looks like an author’s Constitutional rights are being violated simply because of his fiction. Because he wrote about a taboo subject, a subject that’s so scary we as a culture dare not discuss it even in fictional terms.

School shootings are absolutely chilling, evil, nightmarish. So are police states. And in a healthy society, we should be free to engage with those subjects in fiction without fear of a “Soviet-style punishment.”

Last month at the Willamette Writers Conference in Portland, my co-author and I pitched a sci-fi adventure screenplay which met with enthusiastic response… until we mentioned that our heroine time-travels to prevent a school shooting. Producers gently broke it to us that school shootings–even theoretical, thwarted ones–were totally taboo in Hollywood. Even bringing up the subject of domestic terrorism was right out. One producer even gifted us with a hot tip: just change it from a school shooting to something cool, safe, and timely–Ebola. (Brilliant! I’ll just go do a “find” “replace” right now.)

That’s when it occurred to this novelist-turned-novice-screenwriter that Hollywood’s fearful hangups could stymie a screenwriter in a way that no one really can do to a novelist anymore. Even if a Big 5 press doesn’t buy your book, you can self-publish it. Thanks to freedom of speech, as a novelist in America you can choose to write about difficult subjects without fear of being censored, blacklisted, etc. The worst that could happen is readers could collectively shrug and dollar-vote you down to obscurity. (In other words, what happens to most of us anyway.)

As of today I’m no longer sure that’s true.

#PatrickMcLaw, Me, and Other Thought Criminals was originally published on A Herd of Cats

[phoebewriter]

Saturday Morning Email Party

You know how sometimes you’re dating someone & you think they’re cool & then they send you a looong cray-mail? #whoa #Amazon #amazonhachette

— Phoebe Kitanidis (@phoebekitanidis) August 9, 2014

On this Saturday, Amazon called on thousands of KDP authors to spam the CEO of Hachette. That’s their  killer new negotiating tactic. To be clear, I think KDP is a great service. But… what? Chuck Wendig said it best when he called this situation “cookoo banana-pants” (upgraded to “ludicrous coyote-pants” for accuracy).

Saturday Morning Email Party was originally published on

[phoebewriter]

4 Things Pros Do After A Writers Conference

You had a blast, forgot to sleep, and learned why every publishing strategy you ever tried was wrong. Now that you’re home from the conference, what can you do to maximize your return on that investment of precious time, cash, and energy?

Fun with the taxman.

As Carolyn See puts it in her delightful must-read Making A Literary Life, writing is your business and you must manage that business. Luckily this part’s crazy easy: just gather all your receipts for hotel, courses, meals, and supplies into an envelope. Label the outside with a Sharpie (mine says, Willamette Writers Con. 2014 expenses). In the future you can pre-label your envelope and pack it along to make this step even simpler. File with your other writing expenses for the current year… Wait, you do keep track of your business expenses, don’t you? Even if you haven’t made a cent yet in publishing, doing this marks you as a pro in my book. And, for you Law of Attraction types, I’ll add that the first year I started doing this was also the first year I ended up selling a book.

Thank you notes.

Another classic Carolyn See suggestion. Send a short, polite note of thanks to every pro you pitched to who was helpful, interesting, and/or kind to you. No need to reach out to that one who you felt no connection to and who rudely told you your whole genre was stupid/dead/saturated/a scourge on the earth (it’s happened to many writers I know and it means nothing… about you). As usual in life, it’s about following up on the positive connections and letting all the rest go. But make sure you don’t let the positive connections go too! Send those notes, within 1 week.

Add new people. 

Dig out the business cards of cool people you met this weekend and add those folks to Twitter, or Facebook, or your personal email contacts list. However. BIG HOWEVER. Do not add those folks to your author mailing list… because tossing you a biz card across the bar does not an opt-in make. Have faith in your work and believe that people will choose to opt-in to learn about your next release–don’t try to force it.

Save the gems.

Take a few minutes, maybe up to an hour, to go over your notes from the workshops and one-on-ones and synthesize what you learned. The big picture of it. Which quotes stuck with you? What new resources and techniques are you dying to try now? How many blog posts are in there? What was the theme of the lessons you gleaned? For me it was, Keep Learning Or Die. Dramatic? Maybe. But in today’s publishing and entertainment world that’s our reality.

Or maybe that’s just reality, everywhere.

That’s why you’re reading this blog post, isn’t it? We all have to keep learning. No one’s exempt, not even the Big 5. And next time you go to a conference, I guarantee you’ll get more out of it because you’ll already be thinking about these four objectives.

When you see someone you want to talk to, I hope you’ll talk to them AND get their contact info. When you check out of your hotel, I hope you’ll save the receipt for your taxes–that’s a real, legit business expense. When you walk into a workshop that’s not teaching you anything, I hope you’ll walk right the hell out and find another… because that’s your precious time, and you’re there as a gem-hunter, not to be an extra in some presenter’s big scene. You’re there as a pro.

4 Things Pros Do After A Writers Conference was originally published on

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Thou shalt abandon thy darlings. If you wrote a line that you’re damn proud of and the editing sword smites it, speak up by all means… but if you’re the only one who was feeling that line, let it go. Better yet learn to forget who wrote what—that way lies heaven.

Thou shalt obey thine...

[phoebewriter]

#NameThatKitten Contest

UPDATE: Congrats to @AngelMcClellan for her awesome name for the black kitten, Shadow. Really fits hir personality, scared yet sweet and curious but also kind of a mastermind.

Can you come up with the perfect names for these special kittens I’m fostering? If I choose your idea, I’ll send you a copy of my book GLIMMER. Sound good? Read on to learn more (and see pics of the kitties to help inspire your naming)!

Background/The Why: Everyone has hobbies, passions, causes. One of mine and my husband’s is helping feral cats. Feral cats are just regular cats who have gone wild over one or more generations. We volunteer with Alley Cat Project, a local trap, neuter, release program and we foster through the Seattle Animal Shelter.  Though I’ve trapped my share of cats (around 25), my biggest love is fostering feral youngsters and especially “socializing the unsocializable.” Speaking of which…

The Kitties: Yesterday we took home this adorable pair of feral littermates who were found at an industrial site, with no mother. : ( They are total cuties: one solid black and one gray tabby. However they are already wary of humans—being just a touch past their ideal socialization window of 7 weeks—and will need extreme patience over the next month as they learn to trust us. In time their fierceness will be re-channeled into fierce affection and they will make extremely loving companions (I have 2 formerly feral companions who are wonderful, and they’re both on my desk as I type this). But in the meantime… it’s hard. We don’t even know their weights or genders because they don’t want us getting that close. So keep your names gender-neutral please!

The Contest: Tweet your gender-neutral kitten names with hashtag #NameThatKitten. Mention me, @phoebekitanidis, so I can RT you as soon as I get the notification. There is no cost to this, share with anyone you like who likes cats (the last thing these kittens need is hate), and be creative.  hashtagContest ends Friday 5 PM Pacific. That’s is, can’t wait to see your ideas!

#NameThatKitten Contest was originally published on

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So you’ve decided to try an in-person writing collaboration. Congratulations, brave author!

Now, what do you need to bring to the big event? Besides your genius, of course. And your brilliant ideas. And your near-genius, almost-as-brilliant friends.

Below is a list of practical things and...

[phoebewriter]

Quick Recipe for 30 minute Bumglue

Prepare a pleasant beverage

Apply butt to chair

Open document

Apply headset to head

Set timer

The secret ingredient: turn on some concentration music on low volume

Note: sometimes we avoid writing, wisely, because part of us knows that we need something else more. A workout, a good night's sleep, a hug, a trip to the beach, counseling, or just a better understanding of where it is this project of ours is heading. This is not for those times. This is for those other times, when all we need is a temporary anxiety tamer to get us rolling. Like every process trick, it won't work for anyone, but it'll work for some people. Give it a try... all you have to lose is 30 minutes.

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You’ve seen them on the TV. The TV writers. The movie dudes. Eight of them, around a table with coffee cups and pizza cartons and mountains of paper. Flipcharts and whiteboards and sticky notes everywhere. Outpourings of creative energy, driving to a looming deadline, shouting, arguing,...

[phoebewriter]

Seattle Writers’ Café Reviews

As a Seattle author, I spend a fair amount of time typing while drinking coffee. I thought it might be helpful to others to review some of my favorite cafe spots here. I invite you to review your city’s best writers’ cafes reviews too! (If you do, send me the link.)

P.S. I don't give stars because I don't think in stars. Yelp, Amazon, and Goodreads are set up that way, fine... but on my blog it's my rules.

Empire Espresso

Tucked into a Columbia City side street, Empire’s a skinny little joint—one long row of tables—that’s often packed, thanks to superior ingredients and a warm, authentic neighborhood vibe.

Writer Raves: Sweet silence! While some people do chat quietly, Empire’s pretty much a working café during daylight hours—you might not even need earbuds to concentrate.

Best Fuel: Yummy handmade waffles and Panini (gluten-free bread available too).  

Tips: Park in the $1 lot a block away on Ferdinand. If you set up a meeting here, choose evening (when it’s more of a pub vibe) and show up early as you can’t reserve space.

Victrola on 15th

Artistic, retro, hipster, whatever you want to call it, this place balances its coolness with a comfortable, laidback vibe. The coffee is top-notch and the art adds value—so does the latte art.

Writer Raves: The ambience here isn’t just inviting, it’s inspiring. I’ve gotten great work done… once I was able to find a table. (Oh, yeah, it’s popular!)

Best Fuel: Eh, some premade sandwiches and salads. I hear the pastries are good though!

Tip: Call to reserve (free) the fabulous private room with its conference table that seats at least 10.

Bedlam

This Belltown indie wears its quirkiness proudly, with crazy décor that features board games, taxidermy, and unique art pieces. To be honest, the first floor’s art isn’t my absolute fave, but it doesn’t matter because…

Writer Raves: … Because it’s all about the second floor, a secret, silent, book-and-couch-filled retreat where a writer can hide all day—and churn out chapters. Yay!

Best fuel: The toast is out of this world. This is also the kind of café where you’ll find wacky and fun concoctions like bacon cupcakes and lavender mochas--a departure from the Seattle single-origin coffee culture I’m used to.

Tips: If you don’t like your coffee, ask them to remake it—the owner makes a big deal in Yelp reviews that he wants another chance to make you happy. Apparently, this is not the place to be PA!

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You’ve seen them on the TV. The TV writers. The movie dudes. Eight of them, around a table with coffee cups and pizza cartons and mountains of paper. Flipcharts and whiteboards and sticky notes everywhere. Outpourings of creative energy, driving to a looming deadline, shouting, arguing,...

[phoebewriter]

Know what? This applies to books too.

Pants are overrated RT @Oatmeal How to get me to watch a movie pic.twitter.com/M8OkUre51v

— Netflix US (@netflix) November 15, 2013

[phoebewriter]

WIBBOWs wobble, but they don’t fall down

Last weekend I was a panelist at OryCon in Portland--an awesome city which, alas, in this Seattle-ite induces mass transit envy and massive donut envy. But I’m not here to talk of sweet, sweet donuts. I want to discuss something even better: the concept of WIBBOW.

More than one author I met at OryCon swore by this handy acronym. It stands for, "Would I Be Better Off Writing?" and it's already serving me too as a golden perspective tool. It’s even inspiring me to keep this blog entry short and to the point! (Well, for me.)

So, here are the three types of situations in an author’s daily life I figure where WIBBOW applies:

1. Money. Ask yourself WIBBOW before forking over your hard earned cash. To write and publish you need: a working computer and internet connection, a basic (cheap or free) website, a competent copy editor/proofreader, and a professional looking book cover. Everything else is to some degree a luxury. I’m not saying it won’t help to hire a fab developmental editor, or buy a gorgeous custom website, or contract a skilled publicist—it may help a great deal! But then, it may not. And it’s not strictly necessary, so, if it would bust your budget and cause you any stress, well… YBBOW.

2. Energy. (Especially extrovert energy if you’re an introvert.) Ask yourself WIBBOW before embarking on authorial travel adventures. Before agreeing to a multi-city book tour, a school visit, a signing, a keynote, a radio interview. Such events are seen as opportunities for an author, and sometimes they are. But ask yourself also, What’s it going to take out of you? How long would it take you to recover from the depleting effects of this wonderful “opportunity?” Even if it is good for your career, is it as good as spending those three days at the keyboard would be?  

3. Time. Ask yourself WIBBOW before opening an internet browser. Kidding, but not really. As we writers know, anything can be a clever time-wasting strategy to prevent you from working, but at the top are social media, web browsing, blogging, and of course “networking,” “marketing,” and “research” which together cover all possible human activities. (Shrinking Violet Promotions offers an exhausting list of marketing activities, and they wisely recommend you choose just a few—the ones that you’re most comfortable with.)

Sometimes it’s hard to know whether something is worthwhile for you unless you’ve tried it a time for two, like taking a writing class or commissioning an Audiobook on ACX. In those cases I encourage you to experiment if your intuition is pulling you in that direction. But take note of how much time you spend and rate for yourself whether it was valuable enough to repeat or worth skipping.

All this is not to say don't spend time, money, or energy on anything writing-related that isn’t writing itself. Just assume YBBOW in 90% of cases. If you can't figure out which 10% will be surefire moneymakers--and most of the time you can't--pick the ones that sound most fun to you as life experiences. For example, I will always treasure the memory of reading and signing at Books of Wonder in New York. Overall it cost me money, time, and energy, but it was worth it for the glorious mini-vacation with my husband and the chance to explore an amazing city and connect with other authors. Bottom line: some forms of value aren't expressed in the bottom line. 

[phoebewriter]

The Pseudo-Pinch (or Goose Point)

If you're an author, you've probably heard the story term "pinch point." But what does it mean?And more importantly, what's it good for?

In this post I'll show you a neat little trick with pinch points--namely, how to mislead readers with it.

According to Larry Brooks, author of Story Engineering, a pinch point is where the reader directly experiences the power of the antagonistic force. (For example, how ruthless the serial killer is, how much damage that hurricane can cause, or how much of a challenge the character's personal demons pose.) Got that?

Now let's talk about placement. Brooks states that two pinch points must occur in every healthy story, at very specific points. In the diagram below, for example, those points would be almost EXACTLY between the Climax of Act One and the Midpoint (pinch one) and almost EXACTLY between the Midpoint and Climax of Act Two (pinch two):

That all makes sense to me instinctively, and probably to you if you've read and watched as many stories as I think you have. This means that on a subconscious level we are trained to expect pinch points... when we get to those places in the story, we know we are going to get a scene in which the bad guy reveals his badness. 

Now here's the trick. In any story with a false antagonist and/or secret surprise bad guy, you need to make your reader believe your false antagonist is the real one, while at the same time foreshadowing the true antagonist. So how can you achieve this?

So here's what I did in my outline: I planned for two consecutive scenes to occur at each of the two scheduled pinch point times, making four scenes in all. In each pair of scenes, one will feature my false antagonist while the other features my real antagonist.

Throughout the rest of the story, the reader's knowledge is filtered through the protag--who is biased against the false antag. Either because they have a history, or he's damned by association, or she hates him, or she has baggage around what he symbolizes, or any number of fair reasons.  The real antagonist either isn't on her radar, or she's in denial, or she doesn't feel it as a primal threat... again, the reasons vary... but in the pinch point scenes it's crystal clear to the reader that real antag is  a formidable foe indeed. Done right, this should induce a nagging, worrying itch in the reader's subconscious.

As a reader, I appreciate this kind of psych-out but I often see through it because the pinch points make it obvious who to watch out for. I think with this trick, combined with misdirection from your unreliable protag, your big reveal is more likely to be shocking AND satisfying.

Since a goose can mean a teasing prod or pinch on the butt, I decided to call this psuedo pinch point a goose point.

Happy writing!

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Last month at Seattle’s Geek Girl Con, Suzanne and I ran our panel on Pitch Practice and got to listen in on some truly tempting pitches from the audience (what a talented bunch!). For those of you who weren’t able to attend, here are some tips we shared about pitching your work in person to...

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Crossposting to my personal blog: