The Anti-Hero

The Prince and the Pauper. The Hero and the Villain. I have no issue with being the bad boy, at the end of the day, I'll be the one who keeps everyone alive. Phoenix Elser Hearst Twenty-One || Power Shield || Relationship: Stephanie Wyatt

[hudson-faye]

What the-

(Faye used a few of the quieter streets of Herefordshire often, now that she’d gotten used to the place, for short cuts and easy routes. The alleys were usually free of people, a place for her to walk in the quiet - but not today. With the dwindling dark, she hadn’t seen it at first, but lying on the cobbles of the road was a figure. Rushing over, she knelt beside it, hurriedly searching for signs of life, yet there was not a breath, not a pulse. Vaguely, she recognised the young woman from her Physics class, a pretty face she’d seen amongst St Mary’s crowds - now with a pool of blood at her chest, the ghost of a cry for help frozen in her features forever. Who the hell could have done this? The girl had been strong, one of those who mingled with legacies and the highest achievers. Half mixed with the urge to scream and the need to run, Faye stumbles onto her feet, looking around cautiously for any signs of the culprit. She needed to get back to St Mary’s, needed to tell someone - however, just as she turns around to run back, there’s someone else at the end of her path.) H- Hello…?

[phoenixhearst]

(A few of his fellow Resistance rebels had informed Phoenix Hearst of the strange occurrences within the streets of Herefordshire. Within minutes, Phoenix managed to wrangle enough sobriety amidst the pool of scotch to determine that it had to be the Genesis. Based on his vague memory of the past, or future, he recalled a reporting of strange deaths and casualties within the area around the same time. It seemed that the historical bolt rung twice. With a cigarette hanging from his lips, Phoenix wrangles himself outside of the pretentious Hearst Estate and slips through security with ease. He had assimilated easily enough into his role as the "prodigal son" of the great Orion Hearst, much better than before it appeared. Moving through the streets with one of his father's prized guns strapped into his holster, he gravitates towards the center only to spot the dead body an entire block away.) Fuck... (He gruffly hisses under his breathe, before noticing a red headed girl from St. Mary's. Unsure of her, he keeps a watchful eye on her as she whips around. Immediately, he grabs her by her elbow and pulls her closer.) Did you do this? And don't you dare fuck with me. Just tell me; did you kill her?

[adelaide-stewart]

I'm sorry - do you want something?

[adelaide-stewart]

(Addy raises an eyebrow when he lowers his glasses, narrowing her eyes as she looks at the bruises on his face before she finally focuses back on what he’s saying. Well, that’s a first.) Wow, pal. It looks like you’ve got a little something on your face. You know, once you get punched the first time you’re supposed to duck for the second. (She points out with an impatient sigh, though once again the disbelief is evident on her face as he goes on to insult her again.) I’m really starting to see why someone would want to punch you in the face. In fact, I’d really like to join in. But, since we’ve got witnesses, I’m going to refrain myself. I don’t know how shit is done here, yet the last time I checked most normal people just come into a cafe, ask for their drink with some form of normalcy - maybe even a please, God forbid - and then take their crappy beverage and leave without acting like a fucking nut job. Last time I checked, that wasn’t too much to ask. (She watches him with a glare that could break glass, shaking her head.) Jesus Christ. When was the last time you saw a councillor? You’ve clearly got some issues, and you know what? I really don’t have the energy or care enough to deal with the aftermath of your childhood trauma. (With a flick of her hair, she turns away from him and prepares his latte, roughly punching buttons into the drinks machine. After a while, she returns with the mug, heavily dumping it on the counter so hot liquid spills over the edges and onto his hands.) There’s your fucking drink. And by the way, I’m keeping the change. That’s my charge for putting up with your God awful attitude. Lord knows I deserve a hell of a lot more.

[phoenixhearst]

What? Pretty little princess think she can throw a punch? (Phoenix mocks dryly under his breathe, still scented with alcohol, before turning to her with a cocky smirk befitting his cocky personality) When you do what I do, it's just as important to be able to take a punch as it is to throw one. (Pausing for added affect, he stage whispers) But what would a dumb American waitress know about that? (He thinks out loud, practically reeling off of the girl's reaction. Sure, Phoenix's temperament was as notorious as his last name -- but he never allowed himself to get worked up the way she did. Or maybe it was just the mellowing affect of weed) Oi, I suggest you lower your wee little standards. (He hollers through the mind-pounding sound of her coffee maker churning out his drink. As she approaches, he throws a few pounds in the tip jar before leaning over) Here's an actual tip you bloody bitch. I don't know what California dream boat dropped you off here, but I'm much more decent than half the schmucks prancing around here -- dick in hand, rifle in another. (Shrugging casually, he eyes her carefully. She was the sort that he sought to protect, those so innocent and void of resentment that they could hang onto such little things. The blondie knew nothing of pain, loss, or anger -- all she knew was the occasional asshole rolling into her little shop) You know, I'm almost jealous -- you get to throw little fits about some stupid encounter with the admitted jackass. (He gestures to himself) It's what your life's made on -- oh, but if you know... If you only knew.

[adelaide-stewart]

I'm sorry - do you want something?

[adelaide-stewart]

Excuse me? (Addy watches the guy with a look of blatant disbelief. Who the fuck did he think he is? Sure, she may be a lowly waitress right now, but there was no way in hell that meant she was going to allow herself to be ordered around like a piece of crap. This loser had another thing coming. She looks down at the money with an expression of disgust, then back up to Phoenix.) Hey, dickwad, I do hope you realise that acting like an ass to the person who’s about to serve you items of consumption is a really shitty idea. I keep the bleach within arms reach of the drinks machine, just a heads up. (She gives him a fake smile, picking up the cash on the counter.) So, how about we teach you a little lesson in basic fucking manners, since you clearly skipped that part of childhood development. I’ll make you your latte, when you can ask me with a little thing we call respect. (She rolls her eyes, folding her arms over her chest.) You ever heard of that word? I know it may be a little advanced for Neanderthals, like yourself, but since I’m such a wonderful person, I’m willing to teach.

[phoenixhearst]

(Her endless droning would have earned her a bemused expression and a snarky comment, but his thumping headache made it difficult for him to do much of anything but shoot her a haughty glare behind his sunglasses. Waiting until her tirade ends, Phoenix slowly pulls his shades down -- revealing two bloodied black eyes from a choice encounter with, you guessed it, Orion Hearst himself, and glares at her through the mass on his face) I skipped many parts of my childhood development. Thank fucking God or else I'd turn into some bloody American twat whose panties get in a knot at every little slight to her pretty little ego. (Setting his sunglasses aside, he blatantly ignores the customers watching their little show down in favor of his temper) Oh, I bet you're so fucking special. Some pretty little pony that rides off into the sunset protecting the masses from bullshit niceness.

[adelaide-stewart]

I'm sorry - do you want something?

(Adelaide finally looks up from her mobile to the customer who’s been standing there for around five minutes, her tone of voice far from apologetic and more annoyed and uncaring. Moving close to the counter of the cafe, she gives the person a mere second to reply, then rolls her eyes quickly before they can retort.) I haven’t got all day, you know? Places to go, people to see. Spit it out. Preferably before Christmas.

[phoenixhearst]

Shut the fuck up... (Phoenix mutters grumpily into himself, donning his thick sunglasses to shield off the bright light of the sunny afternoon. One too many drinks and a handful of cocaine led to another one of his trembling, nearly life altering, headaches. Slowly tilting his glasses downwards, he drops four pounds on the counter) Chai tea latte, and hurry the fuck up about it, your nasally voice is pissing me off.

[phoenixhearst]

An ounce of Britain's finest weed is an appropriate wedding gift, right?

[serenalockhart]

Alright, alright. As wedding planner of the night or - hic! - whatever the hell I am, I should prooobably tell you not to use that here. But. {Serena gives a tipsy smile, then salutes like a soldier.} I salute your creativity. I’m not surprised that you’d take the party up a notch. Just, uh, I dunno… {She slurs, pursing her lips in thought.} Just don’t set the place on fire. Or get any kids high. {She giggles, grabbing another drink without even looking at it before she takes a sip — at this rate, she didn’t care. Besides, she had the menu memorized anyway.}

[phoenixhearst]

(With a bemused smirk, Phoenix nods along with her drunken words -- that was the good thing about weddings. Drunken disorder was mandatory) Drunk idiots who go around trying to fuck each other like bunnies or weed which chills everyone the fuck out? I think the answer is obvious here. Besides, you're the problem here. (With a cocky grin, he plucks the joint out of his lips as he peers towards her) Any more trashed and someone's dick is getting sucked.

[phoenixhearst]

An ounce of Britain's finest weed is an appropriate wedding gift, right?

[arianna-carrington-blog]

“Wait, I can lose both of them?” Staring at Phoenix with large eyes, she starts to worry about what the hell was going on. The thought of losing both the burger and cookies wasn’t something that dawned on her, she just thought that one would be in the dark and the other wouldn’t. Maybe to save for later, but that was awfully selfish… Letting out a frustrated breath of air, she shoved more pop rocks into her mouth before beaming at Phoenix. “Don’t tell Caleb or Charlie, but I can hold my liquor! I sneak out to go have 3 dollar beers at the pub nearby. But by beers, I mean the cider stuff because those taste better than beers…” Biting down on her lip, she blinked at him as he pulls out a flask. She feels like she should ask what it was, but with this whole dilemma about cookies and burgers, and the possibility of losing them both just made her… “Gah.” Taking the flask from his hands, she opens it and stares into the flask. Shrugging her shoulders, she takes a long sip of it and licks her lips. It tasted somewhat like floral and herbs with a twinge of… sweetness? She wasn’t quite sure, but she liked it. “This is good stuff,” Arianna murmured as she handed the flask back to Phoenix. Her alcohol tolerance wasn’t so great, it usually took her 2-3 cider’s to make her feel quite impaired. She had taken a long gulp of the previous stuff, plus whatever was in that bottle… Oh, she was going to feel it soon. “Weeeellll… cookies are delicious and I’ve loved – liked – loved? Them for a long time and I don’t want to be all mean and start going to eat the burger more often, but I like the burger too! The burger is fun and the burger makes me feel nice. But the cookies make me feel nice, too. And it’s just… ugh.” Blowing air from her lips again, she pouted and looked over at him. “Now you’re saying I can lose them, both. I don’t want to lose them. They’re my friends and I don’t have many of those…”

[phoenixhearst]

He almost felt guilty for handing her the flask -- but he patented the terms reckless and spontaneous, so he deduces his better judgment and hands her the flask anyways. "This shit's a bit stronger than cider. But at this point, it's part of my morning routine -- morning sex, shower, and some absinthe to go along with my eggs. Scrambled." He adds as an after thought, grinning wryly as he takes another swig of the drink in his hand. The joyous buzz that Phoenix thrived off of was a welcome distraction from every little bit of memory sneaking into his mind. "This, princess, is why we live." Phoenix explains theatrically, jumping onto the counter top as he raises it upwards into the air. "This is the meaning of life." A hollow laugh fueled by amusement and bitterness escapes his lips -- and here he thought he had abandoned his vices. "Answer this, who was the second one? The burger or the cookies? Like... Who was the second person you caught butterflies for?"

[genevievewoodsen]

The frown was embedded into her face as she glared at him, her head leaned to the side with her arms crossed over her chest. The classic Gen-Mama-Mode where she was going to lecture you for several hours and kick your ass right afterwards – something Phoenix was very familiar with. “Don’t ‘Gen’ me.” Rolling her eyes, she moves towards him and kicks his leg with a scowl. “What the fuck are you even doing, Nix?!” Groaning, her hand moved to the top of his head and she grabbed a fistful of his hair. Moving his head side to side, she let go and threw her hands in the air. “I could strangle you sometimes!”

[phoenixhearst]

"It's...." 2:37pm. "Early..." Phoenix insists groggily, already exhausted from Gen's theatrics without it even beginning. Just as he's about to make a break for the bathroom, she quickly kicks his shin, causing him to yelp. "What the fuck?!" Cringing as she grabs a fistful of his head, Phoenix attempts to pry her hands off. "Is there a fucking universe where you aren't riding me 24/7 about good fucking behavior?" Phoenix hisses angrily, temper flared as he steps away from her. "It was one stupid kiss..." Three, he corrects internally.

[arianna-carrington-blog]

Arianna just remains quiet as he exclaims he was the one and only, a slight chuckle leaving her lips. There was something about the cocky smirk that she admired, wished she could have for herself. “It would be easier, wouldn’t it?” There was the question that Patrick had asked her out on a date and she kind of freaked, stared at him, turned around left without a word. She wanted to go and find him, but every time she saw him she freaked out and thought about Charlie – what would he think of it all? “If something weren’t an option then life would definitely be easier,” she breathed out, looking over Phoenix with her lips pressed together. Handing in the pop rocks, her eyes stare at the gin for a moment before shrugging. “Why the hell not.” Taking the bottle, she opened it and swallowed more than half of the bottle. “Ahhh.” Her eyes shut tightly together as the liquid burned her throat. She immediately handed the bottle back to him. “I remember why I like fruity drinks. What’s on your mind Phoenix? Obviously you’re having a food dilemma like me. Which might not actually be food.” She pauses and gives him a smile. “I’m a good listener. And if you better tasting liquids than that, I might actually tell you one of my infamous jokes.” 

[phoenixhearst]

"And if you take too long to choose, you lose both..." It's something Phoenix had been thinking about greatly. There was no doubt in his mind that Adela was his girl, nor was there any doubt that she held his heart in the palm of her hand... But it seemed that Stephanie had everything else, like she seduced him into her toxicity to the point that he can barely survive her. Impressed eyebrows raising as the gin finds its way down the petite girl's frame, he beams. "Impressive." Popping the candies into his mouth, his face twitches slightly as the sparks fly around his tongue. The sensation, though hardly equivalent to that of ecstasy or cocaine, was enough to send a smile to his face. "You're lucky I'm feeling generous..." He responds at a brief monotone, before reaching his jacket for a flask now filled with absinthe -- his little friend filled with liquid courage for occasions such as these. "I don't think so." He decides with a blunt expression, taking a sip from his flask and relishing in the burn of absinthe. His tolerance was one for myths. "Why don't you tell me what the fucking deal is with your cookies and burgers?" Slouching against the counter, he grins wryly and hands her the flask. 

[phoenixhearst]

"What a fucking night..." Phoenix utters groggily, hand resting on his crotch as he lazily scratches it. An evening spent wasting away in a London dive bar, equipped with the best liquor and drugs that his friends could but, accumulated to an impromptu session with his still girlfriend. One kiss led to two, which led to a string of emotions that were too difficult for him to fathom. Just as he was prepared to rise from the couch of the Hearst's Estate to his bedroom, the sight of Genevieve Woodsen's reprimanding gaze stops him dead in his tracks. "Gen..."

[arianna-carrington-blog]

Jumping slightly at the voice that interrupted her thoughts, she blinked and looked over at him with a peculiar expression. “Woah, Hearst. Son. Uh —” Cutting herself off, she tucked her hair behind her ear and shook her head. “I’m not on anything just… decisions are hard. Which one do you like more? Cookies or burgers? What if you hurt the burger’s feelings… but you’ve loved — liked — cookies for longer and it’s just —…. I’m babbling. Sorry.” Sighing, she turned and dug through her bag to pull out some candy. “Actually, I lied. I’m on Pop Rocks. Want a pack? I have a lot. You put them into your mouth and they explode and it’s pretty fun. Lots of sugar though.” Sighing again, she opened up packet and slipped some into her mouth, a small smile making way to her face. “Life is just hard. Can’t decide.”

[phoenixhearst]

"The one and only!" he exclaims with a cocky smirk befitting the estranged son of Orion Hearst himself. Her little rant was amusing, on the firm basis that one look at her revealed she wasn't on anything that truly impacted one's mood. But then it settles into his hazy mind the current dilemma that remains unresolved; his relationship with Adela Hart and Stephanie Wyatt. She was speaking the truth of his relationships; Adela Hart was his salvation, but Stephanie Wyatt was his downfall. Heaven and hell reincarnated before him, forcing his hand. "You nailed it, princess." He agrees certainly, knowing all too well the feeling -- except perhaps it was much deeper than just a dilemma about food. "It'd be a hell a lot easier if one thing wasn't yours to choose, you know? Not an option." Stepping inside the kitchen, he adds; "Sure." Reaching for the pop rocks, he places them in his palm before retrieving a mickey of gin in his jacket pocket. "Gin?"

[arianna-carrington-blog]

"How do you decide which one you like better? Chocolate chip cookies are a staple to any diet. But then you have the burger and that’s pretty food sculpted by the gods. Then you have colors like — Red and Maroon. Both really nice colors and the two of them kind of similar. But each distinct in their own…" Sighing heavily, she stared at the cookies in front of her. "I wonder what would happen if you mixed the cookies with the burger. And red and maroon together. I wonder how you do that… Make decisions. Tough ones. Which do I like better? Can’t I like them both equally? Why does one have to be better? Why do I have to like more than the other?”

[phoenixhearst]

"What are you on and where can I get some?" Phoenix Hearst asks from the doorway, staring at her with a bemused expression. Whatever trip she was on, he wanted a piece of -- many pieces, actually.

[adela-hart-blog]

You know, that really gets old.

[adela-hart-blog]

Mhm. Well, just make sure not to use it as an excuse to throw knives at me. (A thin smile appears on her face, though it quickly fades away as she tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. At his response, though, the smile manages to reappear - more genuine, this time.) That’s good. Are things a little… Less confusing? (She asks tentatively, though her attention is soon stolen away by the feeling of his hand against hers. She looks down at the sight of his skin against hers, a sight which was both so familiar and recently had become forgotten. Slowly she averts her gaze back up to meet his, just taking the sight of him in. She remembers looking at those eyes, those eyes when they were dying and his last words were being spoken. She thighs she’d never see him, again - but here he was, right in front of her. At his comment, she has to chuckle, shaking her head as she responds.) Actually, I was sort of getting used to the peace. You did love your tantrums. (She smirks up at him, her tone teasing. She breathes out a small sigh as his hands meet her cheeks, raising one of her own hands to rest on top of his. Her eyebrows raise as he speaks, a sad smile forming.) I… I missed you, too. More than you’ll know.

[phoenixhearst]

I've never needed an excuse. (Phoenix jokes with such ease that it felt so simple between them, as if he was not in the midst of a paradigm shift that fenced him between the two loves of his life. Adela Hart showed him the path to heroism, whilst Stephanie Wyatt showed him the rosy path to a life of tyranny. Chewing down on his bottom lip, he can only shrug) Apparently I quit? Guess that makes sense. Though I can't imagine quitting once, let alone twice. (Phoenix admits with an expression meshed between embarrassment and aggravation. He felt less angry these days, only infinitely confused) It comes in pieces, mostly I remember the insignificant stuff -- I remembered more about what happened with Zimmerman than I did with some people from the Resistance. (It was difficult to see the sadness in her eyes, without feeling it himself. It was like being awoken from a slumber, with only seconds between his death and now. But he knew... He knew it must have hurt, and he almost wished she loved him less -- maybe then it would not have hurt so much) And you loved your little speeches about "being a good person" and "not smoking a pack a day." Didn't really miss those either (Except he did, he missed it more than anything else. A genuine smile tugging along his lips, he lifts her head upwards and sweeps away her locks) I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere, I promise. (He stares at her, eyes emitting something between joy and sadness, but the lingering guilt clouds the occasion. He had a girlfriend, a girlfriend who wasn't the love of his life)

[adela-hart-blog]

You know, that really gets old.

[adela-hart-blog]

(Adela’s expression turns to surprise when she sees Phoenix behind her, but she quickly covers it up with a small smirk. Shaking her head, she reaches out to pull the blade from the wall, reaching out to hand it back to him.) It’s alright. Intangibility has to come in useful sometimes. (She watches him curiously for a second, before glancing quickly down at her hands. She didn’t really know what to say around him, scared she’d say something wrong that’d bring back a sudden memory. So when he says her names she nods subtly, finally looking back at him.) Hey, Nix. You okay?

[phoenixhearst]

I'd say it's pretty useful. (He agrees awkwardly, staring at her with eyes that bore such heat. She was so beautiful, so pure, so real. His past self could understand why he fell for her wit and charm while his present charm only longed to touch her -- to love her again) I'm good, Ade. I'm good. (Looking into her dark eyes, he slowly takes the blade from her hand, switching it into his other hand and slipping it into his holster. His hand remains against hers, relishing in her warmth. Even without all the memories, she felt so familiar.) I-- (Chewing down on his lower lip, he offers her an arrogant smirk) I bet you fucking missed me talking your ear off all the goddamn time? (He offers and it feels so normal, talking to her and touching her. It was instinctive to him. Gulping, his hand strays for hers and find their way onto the sides of her face.) I missed you, Ade.

[adela-hart-blog]

You know, that really gets old.

(Adela remarks sarcastically as a training knife flies in her direction and straight through her body, slamming into a wall opposite her. She turns around quickly, expecting some young legacy playing their usual tricks, but instead she’s greeted with someone else.) Oh, sorry. Thought you were a brat.

[phoenixhearst]

No, uh, no... (Apologetically raising his hands, he rubs them against his pants) Just a minor accident. (Scratching the back of his neck, he gapes at her for a moment. He loved her. He loves her. Knowing what he knows now, how could he not? But his present heart still knew of the affection he held for the girl that currently deemed herself his girlfriend.) Hey Ade...

[zachariah-zimmerman]

Rolling his eyes at the man, he nodded his head and took another drag of the blunt. It was weird. Zachariah didn’t use to drink or smoke, but after what he’d been through and whom he’d met it didn’t even feel like something major. “I do, it was your girlfriend. I was just saying — you called me Zimmerman. When we first met, you didn’t give a shit what my name was. Figured your girlfriend gave it to you.” Shrugging his shoulders, he took another drag. His head was already starting to get hazy and he wondered if it were just his imagination or the actual affects of the weed. “If I died I think I wouldn’t have fought it. We weren’t the best of people,” he admitted, his hands moving the blunt from his lips. For a moment he just stood there, staring at the targets. “But yeah, I think even we deserve a second chance. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I was also doing this for myself.” Nodding his head, he looks over at Phoenix with a look of surprise. “I get it, I do. But we’re not the same people we were then… You’re not going to make the same mistakes, neither am I, and neither is she. We’ve all developed. We’re not children anymore even though we’re younger. I wish she had more faith in herself and her actions. She’s not a bad person. You’re not either, man. You lead a revolution. You changed things. So did she.”

[phoenixhearst]

With a slight jerk of his lips, he remembers it all too well -- Stephanie grabbing him by the throat and stabbing him to death. She looked him in the eye, said she loved him, and persisted to end his life... But that was after an entire revolution. What about now? "Don't remind me... She's still my girlfriend. I still..." Care for her, love her, want to be with her... But he loved Adela too, most certainly. How could both exist in the same universe? "Zimmerman, it ain't got shit to do about being good." He reminds his friend with a look of conviction, blunt almost completely fizzled away, the effects minimal. He had grown highly tolerant. Plucking out another roll from his pocket, he adds before he lights it; "Courage." He emphasizes as the scent of weed circulates around them. "It's about courage. You can be the the next Mother Teresa or Orion Hearst, so can I, so can she... But all of them need the kind of courage some of us don't got. "To be strong enough to do, or not do, it all again -- even if you want it, even if you don't. I got the choice to end it with my girlfriend. And I should, cause she'll kill me. But I'm not... I'm not courageous enough to sacrifice someone that made me so fucking happy."

[zachariah-zimmerman]

"Right, the power." Pointing towards his head, his gaze moved down and he nodded his head. "Yeah, Woodsen was quite proud of you. So was Hart." Taking the lighter, he lights the blunt and places it between his lips. Inhaling slowly, he coughs out the smoke and wrinkles his nose upwards. Staring at the thing, he shrugged and placed it back between his lips. "When do these things start working?" Looking over at Phoenix, he rolled his eyes. "Huh, where do I start? Catherine 2015? Catherine 2012? Genesis. St. Mary’s. Orion fucking Hearst?" Sighing heavily, he shook his head. "Catherine brought up a point that I didn’t want to acknowledge - when she took the serum. How we probably all deserved what we got back there. Do you remember it? Or is it coming in all stupidly?"

[phoenixhearst]

Smirking, he merely nods and takes a long drag from his own blunt. "Don't worry about it." He assures him simply, keenly aware that while Zimmerman was gung-ho about knowing the ins and outs of most things, it would only ruin the pleasure of a good blunt. With a slightly bitter chuckle, he raises an eyebrow. "Nice to know you remember me dying before the serum was even invented." He quips, not that he was too sore about it. People died as quickly as new threats came about. And even with Zimmerman's great memory, he didn't hold it against him -- hell fucking knows how many things people held against Phoenix. "I remember pieces. Serum doesn't as well when my good ole genes were made to fight it." He huffs with a sigh, taking another drag of his blunt, shoulders visibly relaxing. "I don't know about you or anyone else, but I had it coming. I knew what I got myself into, I was gonna die some way. Better to die a hero than end up like my old man." Pausing, he rests his wrist against his knee and looks at Zachariah. "I guess... I think we all deserve a chance. You, me... Even Crowe. Isn't making up for your shit what life's ultimately about? Getting and giving chances?" With a shrug, he adds on. "I think your girlfriend's just going through... Kind of what I'm fucking going through. I think she's just scared she's gotta do it all again, because doing it again means choice and would she really choose all the good and bad things she has, knowing what she knows?"