salmond

[homunculus-argument]

If you're having a private phone conversation with the phone off your ear, no headphones, and the speaker on in public, that's a public conversation now. That's an open invite, and I'm going to chime in if I have an opinion. This is now OUR disagreement about your boyfriend's spending habits.

[redstonedust]

it's crazy that sexism can even affect animals. the way people assume all dogs are boys. the simultaneous way people will get genuinely really mad if you dare mistake their pretty princess for a boy despite the fact all german shepherds look the same. the refusal to buy pink toys and accessories for male pets. i recently met someone who insisted they never adopt girl cats because they're always meaner than boy cats. i feel like im losing my mind. they're literally cats.

[depsidase]

[depsidase]

[parkchanwoohoo]

I'm high as fuck at medieval times and trying so hard to look normal. My friend pointed at a QR code and went "What is the meaning of this Rune..." and I almost threw up trying not to laugh

[parkchanwoohoo]

Friends were doing a Bit where they boo the King and Queen bc they're antimonarchists and I got legit nervous like "Guys they're like RIGHT there, we're gonna get beheaded 😭😭😭" and when the servers showed up to sell glowy swords and stuff I sank into my seat like. "Omfgggg guys I told youuu"

[parkchanwoohoo]

They kept doing very immersive jeering like "DISHONORABLE" and "LET HIM TASTE YOUR STEEL!" and I started being like... guys this is so fucked up... This is people's lives...

[sillywormz]

i went to "mad at me" island expecting to find people i knew, something i understood. but when my boat landed, standing upon the shore were a million empty husks wearing my own face. every foot of the island was occupied, and everywhere i went, they watched me with contempt. they never spoke, never breathed. they simply watched. no matter how i grovelled and begged, snarled and cursed, tried to hide or kicked and hit, they simply stared. the hatred in their gaze was inescapable, but i could hardly return it, knowing that their doomed existence was of my own creation. knowing that the hatred was nobody's but my own. in the end i just wept, unable to stand the relentless gaze of my own infinite glare.

the guy who i accidentally cut off in traffic last week was there also

[byjove]

TikTok (asshole of the world, I know, I’m sorry I’m subjecting you to it) has discovered the term ‘lavender marriage’ and decided to shift the definition to mean a man sinisterly pretending to be straight and using his hapless oblivious wife to as a beard and also applied this term to any couple where the husband has any interest in interior design, expresses emotions or acts like a human being in a domestic partnership instead of a douchebag. I know I made a post about it but I’m astounded by the new wave of homophobia I’m seeing creep into the public consciousness.

[byjove]

“my teenage child is so selfish” is an interesting thing I only see online moms say about their daughters. I’ve never seen one say it about their son. I think it’s because daughters enter the teenage years and begin developing critical thinking skills and independence and it enrages these parents who were using their kids as their own little therapists and unpaid domestic laborers.

[byjove]

Doctors purposefully give people very conservative life expectancy estimates because it is better for the person to have their affairs in order long before it is necessary than to be shocked by how rapidly their health is declining. This should be obvious but you would not believe the amount of people who are like “My father was given 3 months to live 5 months ago. This is proof all doctors are idiots and stupid. Look at him. He’s fine.” pan to a guy actively doing the death rattle.

[rongzhi]

Buying a car

English added by me :)

[artfullheart]

[caecilius-est-pater]

[cannibalchicken]

[hollowedskin]

He's a scarlet ibis! THATS HIS JOB!!

[animentality]

[technofeudalism]

“no crew, no help, just pure hustle” cut to this poor woman bawling her eyes out. what the fuck is wrong with people? why is this being framed as a good or impressive feat? this person makes below poverty wages already. Burger King meanwhile takes in $27 billion in global revenue every single year. everyone involved in making this woman endure this should be tortured and force fed chicken fries until their heart gives out. fuck this country.

[april]

ⓘ Tip You can skip part of the day by taking a nap.

[iwantadamusername]

⚠︎ Tip

Nap lengths are always randomised.

[geekysteven]

⚠︎ Tip

Naps can be initialized anywhere, but doing so during work meetings may trigger an unskippable cutscene

[byjove]

I hate the gymbro side of the internet because a lot of it is extremely toxic but I once saw a gymbro meme that was like “befriending the local trans guy so I can steal his testosterone” and I think that’s hilarious and a great plot idea for a movie. Deeply unhappy bigoted red pill meathead gym rat starts trying to befriend a trans man to steal his testosterone and ends up genuinely clicking with him and going on a journey of self discovery that either ends in the protag realizing he’s gay and in love with his friend or transitioning to a woman.

[animentality]

[homunculus-argument]

To my understanding, show dogs and racehorses have the same kind of a "no two animals with the same exact name in the registry" rule, so they have to get creative with the official names.

And that's why pedigree show dogs have full legal names like Lotus Farms' Pilgrim's Light (answers to the name "Piggy"), and champion race horses have names like Cocaine Canoe Nutcracker Supreme (answers to no man nor god).