So let's go back to July 2014. This is how we NEVER BELIEVE MY MOM EVER AGAIN.
I was in Xinjiang, China with my parents and we were visiting national parks and being general tourists. It was the height of summer and we had just finished spending a couple days in Kanas Lake, a beautiful national reservoir where the skies were clear, grass was green, and the water was blue green blue.
My mother, the red one above, had read on a few blogs that said the hiking trek from Kanas Lake to Hemu Village is really beautiful, great, you-can't-miss-it, blah blah blah.
She told us, "it's 25 km, but it's all flat so it shouldn't be a problem. We did the Alpine crossing in New Zealand, come on."
YEAH, THE CROSSING YOU AND DAD NEARLY DIED FINISHING??
My father, the tiny ass blue dot in the distance, a macho-guy nerd with a gooey center, asks our tour guide if it's a good idea.
"Uhh, I kind of never heard of anybody doing this, but we can?" tour guide in plaid says.
"This is a terrible idea," I say. "WE'RE DOING THIS," mom says. "YES," dad agrees.
So off we go at eight in the morning, bottles of water, sun caps, discovering that there is NO TRAIL, and the way to the village IS DEFINITELY NOT FLAT.
After scaling three GIANT HILLS, we arrive at what is supposedly the half-way point where this nice family set up shop and gave us some suān nǎi. THOSE KIDS WERE SUPER CUTE and looked at us like we were aliens.
At this point, my mom confesses: "Okay, this isn't the half-way point, it's like the halfway point to the beginning of the trail. It's really a 35km trek... But it's suppose to be all flat onwards!!"
WHATTT, all of us say with our eyes in complete disbelief, but it's too late. We can't go back. I think our tour guide's spirit broke inside.
So we go off trekking under a blazing HOT SUN and 40 degree Celcius day. Partway through, we come across a large river spring and realize, there's no trail left?? We don't know where to go?? I started crying inside because we were going to die in a random ass grassy location in Xinjiang and I'm pretty sure our tour guide started cursing all Americans in existence because he couldn't feel his feet.
Luckily, we're saved by horse dude. Who tells us that we're only 30 minutes from the village and charges 100RMB to lead us there. He was lying, we were two HOURS from the village.
Now we do eventually get there! And there's a beautiful river and we can see the village across the river! And the bridge that's supposed to be there is...not there.
Turns out it got destroyed in a storm. We're put in a dinky red raft and get paddled across the river. I can't feel my legs, my dad is threatening to divorce my mom, and my tour guide's feet are completely destroyed.
"But it's so pretty...?" said my mom. And it was.
Turns out the blogs my mother had read said they had done the hike in SEPTEMBER, when you know, THE WEATHER ISN'T SCORCHING HOT.
So moral of the story: do your own research. Or you'll be trekking 35 km under the sun waiting to die.
