I saw a post about Shane and Ilya being sad that they can't thank each other in their acceptance speeches like other can with their spouses and it got me thinking:
Ilya wins his first awards and hes got nobody he really wants to thank after his team and coach cause he he hates his family but he knows his speech is too short so on impulse he goes "And I want to thank Shane Hollander for being slightly worse than me this season". Everyone knows it was going to one of those two, so everyone thinks hes an asshole to say that but whats new so it works for him. But from then on it then becomes a bit for both of them to thank each other in their speeches in a snide way as a reason they won.
Shane winning the Art Ross Trophy (Awarded to the player who leads the league inĀ total pointsĀ at the end of the regular season). and going "special thanks to Rozanov for missing at least 5 shots this season, he was a huge help"
Ilya winning the Conn Smythe Trophy (Awarded to the most valuable player for his team in the playoffs.) "Just want to give a quick shout out to Hollander for getting knocked out in the second round this season. Must hate to see me up here."
They find a way to mention the other in their speeches every time all the time.
shane becomes convinced cliff and ilya are having an affair because they keep sending each other shit like ālet me know when youāre back in boston big boy i want to slob on that monster dongā and finally shane confronts him and ilya is like no baby this is how straight men talk to each other when theyāre convinced each other are straight and shaneās like i have never said anything like that to anyone and ilyas like well except to me ;) and shane punches him in the arm and shows him his texts from hayden and they are all like āHey Shane āŗļø thank you for sending Jackie mothers day flowers. We appreciate you so much man.ā and ilyas like shane. this is so fucking gay
I bet young Ilya Rozanov never thought heād get slapped in the face with that tism rizz and he would be so fucking cooked.
This man has eight of the same shirt and five of the same hoodie. This man memorizes hockey stats for fun. This man will have a cold ginger ale. This man will look awkwardly at the camera with a smile like he wants to incinerate himself in every wet t-shirt contest sports drink ad his mom books for him. This man will take everything you say absolutely literally. Thatās French, Ilya. You just said a French word and weāre talking about Russian, are you unfamiliar with your own language. This man takes three days to recognize a social cue. And ten years to name an emotion. Youāll tell him you like him in the most roundabout way and youāll think you NAILED it, and heāll promptly have a panic attack on your dick. When he names that emotion finally? Heāll be absolutely relentless and will not stand down; heās had an emotion and he knows you have one, too. By that point, thereās no escape. Heās imprinted on you and is starting to ovulate in your vicinity. He will bludgeon you with adorable nerd and insatiable ass. And his oral fixation is so mighty heāll suck your remaining brain cells out through your dick.
This man drives a Range Rover because itās good in the snow. This man does a loon call. This man will make you eight cheeseburgers. Buddy itās over for you.
So, Ilya hasnāt come yet in this scene. And I think itās important to notice how Shaneās leg subtly shifts, as though itās maybeā¦.slidingā¦.down?
Anyone else want to jump onto the Shane-playing-footsie-with-Ilyaās-dick pile?
Art done for @relenafanel fanfic "The mortifying ordeal of being super attracted to the man you could be married to (but arenāt)" as part of @mdzsbigbang