Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love’s first kiss. She was locked away in a garden by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave fire-breathing knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon’s keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love’s first kiss. (laughs) Like that’s ever gonna happen. What a load of – (toilet flush)
Allstar – by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearly town, the villages get together to go after the ogre.
NIGHT – NEAR SHREK’S HOME
Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you?
Yeah, it’ll grind your bones for its bread.
Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs.
Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they’re much worse. They’ll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin.
They’ll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it’s quite good on toast.
Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.)
Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark.
This is the part where you run away.
(The men scramble to get away. He laughs.)
And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.)
“Wanted. Fairy tale creatures.” (He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.)
only 1.5 pages out of 72 and 6 total pigeons here I'm afraid