PiglyWinky

[knightlyhoods-deactivated202404]

this has got to be THE funniest sentence ive seen all day im gonna cry

[quaadude]

Me getting my name called to get my order at Starbucks

[lucid-dreemurr]

me: immune system why do i have a fever

immune system: well the bacteria can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long so i thought i’d raise the temperature to kill them off!

me: 

immune system:

me: 

immune system:

me: we also can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long

immune system:

[imsoofuckingsad-deactivated2018]

it’s like i always say: fuck

[fuglyselfie]

me: logs into my google account

google all up in my email: BITCH??? THE FCUK IS YOU HACKED???

[doggables]

look at this

[mawkit-deactivated20190715]

for anyone interested these are paso fino horses and this gait is natural! they are the smoothest ride with no bumpy movements. you could practically drink juice and not once would it spill on your face!

[sealedbeastnue]

these bears need to chill theytre stressin me up

[slightmood]

no offense but I’ve been learning how to have fun in dumb circumstances

[slightmood]

I was showering during the storm tonight and the light started flickering violently so I peeked out from the curtain and looked at my cat sitting on the counter and said to her “mrs obama it’s been an honor” and then the power went out

[glumshoe]

The veil is thin here. It’s thin everywhere. Of course it’s fucking thin. Who ever heard of a thick veil? That shit’s lightweight, even sheer.

[glumshoe]

Like, shit, Agatha. There’s a reason they don’t call it “the down comforter between worlds”.

[a-magpie-witchling]

I CHOKED

[brokenvein-deactivated20190812]

i hate when its night time we’re supposed to go to bed…. like did u not realize that 1am-5am are the funnest times to be awake? why is it weird to sleep during the daytime nd do things at night? vampire rights!

[ratguzzler-deactivated20181213]

[ratguzzler-deactivated20181213]

[snowthunder]

I think we need to talk about the under appreciated Window Seat fandom

I mean really? With the book shelves?

It’s like an alcove of happiness.

You want a whole row of individual seats? Fine, here you go. 

Or how about a whole window bed for those snugglers out there.

Curtains.. Guys this one has curtains.

Seriously? This is basically a glass cube of bliss.

 You can even get them with corners! Not enough corners? Okay.

Ba-BAM!! Corners for cocooning. 

There’s also the Roman-esque themed seat for the historians out there. 

 If you don’t want to snuggle up in blankets with hot cocoa in this then I don’t even know why you’re on this planet. I mean dat stonework. 

This one’s an entire rectangle. Just imagine all the cuddling that could happen in there. It’s practically a fortress.

This one’s fucking curved okay? it’s just chillin, up of the ground, and curved for your lounging convenience. 

don’t like rectangles or square? Okay. Have a fucking trapezoid seat.

[girlbr0thers]

@succumbtoyourtendertone @onlytohisintimates y’all,,,,,,,,

[peach--star-deactivated20190430]

THESE ARE MY FAVORITE THING

[penny-anna]

In the Shire, ‘you’re not invited to my birthday party anymore’ is a devastating slight regardless of the age of the target

Frodo knows perfectly well that this is not the case anywhere else but continues to use it on non-hobbits due to its power to disorient & bewilder

[twerklina]

[champagnemanagement]

i think this would make a good business card

[kylehasatumblr]

GOD FUCKING BLESS YOU INSOMNIAC HOLY SHIT 1080P FULL HD MAYMAYS

[unbotheredmuse]

[sailorbrazil]

[what-even-is-thiss]

Guys do centaurs have to eat both horse food and human food?

[what-even-is-thiss]

Centaur, eating out of a burlap sack of hay like it’s potato chips: So do you guys wanna get Chipotle later?

[what-even-is-thiss]

Centaur: *kneeling on the ground, ripping up bits of grass and eating it*

Nearby horse: *neighs*

Centaur: Well it’s easy for you to bend over, isn’t it?

Horse: *snorts*

Centaur: *through a mouthful of grass* Well goody goody for you, but some of us have two spines.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Human: Hey does somebody want the rest of my burger?

Centaur: Oh I’ll have it. I am starving.

Human: Didn’t you just eat like an entire barrel of hay?

Centaur: *snatches the burger* That was for the horse stomach not the human one. Don’t be racist, Carl.

[fangirltothefullest]

DON’T BE RACIST CARL

[conversationswithamillennial]

That spine comment made me reevaluate my life

[what-even-is-thiss]

Two spines, two ribcages, and six limbs baby! And a tail! Four shoulders!

[katesattic]

This is oddly unsettling.

[breakingisabella]

look i hate breaking dawn as much as the next bitch but i’m not going to pretend i wouldn’t jump off a cliff to read the entire thing from edward’s pov midnight sun style (especially that fucking birth sequence when he thinks she’s gonna die i mean come on the PAIN)