Pillow Princess Reviews

Sex toy reviewer. Bisexual cis woman in a long-distance relationship with a cis woman; disabled cancer survivor; European student. All of those things are relevant with regards to the toys I select and the things I pay attention to in my reviews, but I make a point of being as inclusive as possible.

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The best kind of work-out: a review of the Tantus Sport strap-on kit

It is basically a consensus among sex toy connoisseurs that Tantus is one of the very best manufacturers of silicone sex toys on the market. I’ve reviewed a couple of their toys already, and recently, I finally plucked up the courage to contact them directly and ask if they were willing to send me a few toys for review. They were absolutely lovely, and now I’ve got four of their toys to review for you.

One of those toys is their Sport Kit, which contains Tantus’s Vibrating Velvet Harness as well as their Sport dildo. You all know that strap-on sex is a big part of my sex life, and that I make a point of reviewing as many strap-ons as I can for the people who share this love. I also like reviewing modestly sized dildos, since I know many people aren’t very fond of big toys – especially not used in harnesses. This kit combines those two aspects, which makes it a wonderful beginner’s kit, as well as a more advanced one for people who just prefer their penetrative toys on the smaller end of the spectrum.

Description

The Vibrating Velvet Harness is a relatively classic harness. One long strap goes all the way around your hips/waist, two smaller ones encircle the thighs, and the four ends meet at the triangular, velvety crotchpiece. Those four ends have pushbuttons that allow you to fasten an O-ring of whichever size you need to hold your dildo. The Sport Kit comes with one 1.5 inch/3.81 cm silicone O-ring that fits the Sport dildo. If you want to use this harness for bigger or smaller toys, you’ll need to pick up a separate set of O-rings. Tantus conveniently sells their own set.

Every strap on this harness can be individually adjusted with a strap adjuster. Consequently, the Vibrating Velvet Harness fits people with a hip measurement of up to 60 inches/152 cm. Any ends trailing around after you’re done tightening the harness can quite easily be tucked away into the waist strap (it’s not the most aesthetic, but harnesses with trailing straps rarely are).

The cushy, velvety crotchpiece that gives this harness its name does more than just protecting your pubic bone from excessive pressure when you’re thrusting away. It has a small pocket that can house a bullet vibe (there is a Tantus bullet included in the kit). If you position the crotchpiece near your genitals, it can provide some stimulation for yourself. Tantus’s bullets are not very impressive, though, and I have never managed to get off with them. If you want to get off while fucking your partner, I’d recommend replacing the Tantus bullet with a more powerful one. Do take care that the bullet you choose has the same dimensions as the Tantus ones, though! Otherwise, it won’t fit into the pocket. Additionally, my girlfriend (who always wears the harness in our relationship) says the bullet can get a bit pokey and uncomfortable. Since, like most people, she isn’t very fond of her genitals being poked, she often prefers using the harness without it.

Except for that, the Vibrating Velvet harness is pretty basic, but decent. It offers good support and control for any dildos that aren’t super heavy and long – I never use anything over 6 inches/15 cm in a harness, so that should give you an idea of what I mean. My girlfriend says she does regret the absence of a backpiece, since the waist strap can kind of dig into her skin. For this aspect, she prefers our (cheaper) CalExotics Love Rider harness. On the other hand, the Vibrating Velvet harness’s very thin waist strap serves wonderfully to grab onto during missionary sex, which makes it feel almost like a bondage harness. And that is an advantage, in my book. 

The Vibrating Velvet harness has one other huge advantage over the LoveRider, though (in addition to the bullet pocket, of course): it is machine washable and fully waterproof. This is super handy. No worries about cleaning it, unlike with the Love Rider, whose pleather flakes off as soon as it comes into contact with water. You can just throw the Vibrating Velvet Harness in with the rest of your laundry (without the bullet, obviously) and it will come out none worse for the wear. Even if you don’t have access to a washing machine, this is still a big plus: you can hold this harness under the tap or dunk it into the sink to clean it completely. This makes the Vibrating Velvet harness a great harness for people who are worried about hygiene. Better yet: being fully waterproof, you can use this harness for bath sex, shower sex, river sex, sea sex, whatever you like!

On to the dildo itself, then. The Sport is a prime example of everything I love about Tantus. I really appreciate that they make increasingly original dildos, playing with density, colours, sizes and levels of realism, but that they still make smaller, plainer, non-realistic dildos that never veer into boring territory. It is very much the same type of dildo as my beloved Acute; I would even recommend both to the same people.

The Sport is ostensibly a G-spotting dildo, and it is great at its job. Its relatively straight shaft ends in an almost perfectly round head, angled away from the shaft to be aimed at your G-spot. The glossy silicone is very firm – unlike the relatively squishy Acute – which only adds to the Sport’s G-spotting potential. One time, my girlfriend used the Sport on me while I was blindfolded, and I mistook it for a glass toy. I was a bit disoriented with arousal, and most people probably wouldn’t confuse the Sport with a glass dildo, but I think this says enough about quite how firm this dildo is.

The head is relatively small, which means it offers less consistent G-spot stimulation during thrusting. It is obviously more pinpoint, though, which is another kind of nice. The Sport is not the most intense G-spotting toy I own (that title still goes to the Godemiche Ambit) but it is by no means gentle either. To compare it to another toy I reviewed: it feels similar to the Self Delve Inanna, without the texture. I consider it an excellent toy for people who are not very experienced with/enthusiastic about penetration and might want to explore relatively intense G-spotting with a smaller toy. (I say G-spot because I use this dildo vaginally, but I am sure it would work just as well for butts and prostates.)

Like I said, the Sport is a relatively small dildo. It is 5.5 inches/14 cm in length, and 1.25 inches/3.2 cm in diameter at the widest point. That makes it a bit longer and a bit thinner than the Acute, so if you’re a bit concerned about girth but not about length, and if you like a bit of firmness, the Sport might be the best choice for you. I think those qualities might make the Sport more suited to anal use, with the caveat that the pronounced head might make it less comfortable to insert and pull out. The small bit of extra length also means the Sport functions as quite a good A-spotter for me, but your mileage might vary on this point – if your vagina is a bit deeper, it might not reach your A-spot at all.

Probably my favourite feature of the Sport, and the one that makes it stand out the most from the other dildos I own, is the base. It is drop-shaped, which is amazingly clever and handy, and I cannot believe there aren’t more dildos with this kind of base. First off, the asymmetrical shape makes it really easy to keep track of which way the head is pointed, whether you use the Sport in a harness or by hand. In a harness, it doesn’t budge: the point and the narrow shape helps keep it in place in your O-ring. It is also incredibly ergonomic to hold in your hand – again, the narrowness and the shape just make it fit so comfortably in the palm of your hand. It might sound stupid, but for me, this is the kind of thing that makes this dildo “good” rather than just “average.”

I really like the Sport. It’s not on the level of the Acute, for me, because of the Acute’s extra girth, but the Sport’s slimness might be an advantage for you. It’s short and slim enough to be a good dildo for beginners or for people who are just not into penetration with big objects. It is a really good G-spotter (and is probably similarly nice for prostates), which makes it actually exciting, unlike some very boring dildos on the smaller end of the spectrum. It has an excellent, versatile, comfortable base.

Combined with the Vibrating Velvet harness, this makes for an excellent and relatively affordable strap-on kit. I enthusiastically recommend the Sport Kit to anyone who is starting to experiment with strap-on play, and wants a good, comfortable yet exciting first dildo, as well as a harness that can be used with other dildos in the future. Of course, that doesn’t mean you won’t also like it if you already own a harness and a few dildos – I like it, and my collection is steadily growing. The Sport Kit comes in black (like mine) and in purple (if you prefer that colour). If you pick the purple kit, both the dildo and the harness will be purple. 

The only thing to keep in mind is that the discount you get from buying the Sport Kit rather than the Vibrating Velvet harness and the Sport separately is relatively low (about three dollars/two euros/two pounds on Tantus’s own website – certain retailers I list below don’t sell the Vibrating Velvet harness separately), so if you’d actually prefer another dildo, it won’t cost you a lot more to buy the Vibrating Velvet harness alone and another dildo on the side. That being said, everything I said about the Sport still holds true. I will very much keep this dildo in mind as a great recommendation for beginners, just like I do with the Acute. The Sport is, in my opinion, better suited to people who prefer a bit less girth, a bit more length, and more firmness. Also, the Sport’s base is undeniably better. And obviously, there’s the convenience aspect of having the dildo and the harness in one, easy kit, which means you don’t have to spend hours deciding which dildo to get with your harness.

Care

Like I said, the Vibrating Velvet harness is machine washable, which is super convenient. If you don’t own a washing machine, you can still dunk it entirely underwater and wash it by hand without having to worry about damaging it. Do take out the bullet first, though – that one is not waterproof.

The Sport dildo, like most glossy Tantus toys, is quite the lint-hog (as you can see in the pictures - I’m sorry, I really tried to get rid of the lint). It can be washed with water and soap or a toy cleaner, or you can sanitise it with a 10% bleach solution or by boiling it. Being made from silicone, it is not compatible with silicone-based lube or pre-lubed condoms – please stick to water-based lubes.

If you want to learn more about sex toy care, check out this page.

Purchasing

Tantus is the biggest silicone sex toy manufacturer in the US. As a small, family-owned company, they managed to rise to the top without compromising on quality, design or ethical standards. They are constantly improving themselves, pride themselves on inclusiveness, and are careful to listen to the opinions of costumers and bloggers alike. You can be proud of supporting them.

The Sport Kit comes in a rather big rectangular package in see-through plastic, with a moulded shape to hold the Sport, and another one that holds the Vibrating Velvet harness. Obviously, this packaging will be shipped inside a cardboard box, no matter which retailer your order it from. The packaging isn’t really reusable, it is quite bulky, and there is no storage bag included. Cheap packaging does help keep the price of a toy down, but other companies do manage to include storage options for low prices. Packaging and shipping prices outside the US are my only qualms with Tantus, to be honest.

I haven’t been able to find any European retailer that sells this kit – my apologies for that! Be aware of shipping costs and custom taxes if you order from the US.

You can buy the Sport Kit from:

Vibrant, for 51.97 dollars/45 euros/40 pounds (and you can use the code PILLOWPRINCESS for 10% off)

SheVibe, for 48.99 dollars/42 euros/37.5 pounds

Tantus itself, for 71.93 dollars/62 euros/55 pounds

Affiliate links were used in this review.

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Tumblr’s NSFW ban, moving to self-hosting, and Patreon

If this blog has ever brought you joy or useful information, please consider supporting me on Patreon or making a one-time donation.

In the last few months, hosting a sex toy review blog on Tumblr has become increasingly hard. Posts with external links were hidden from searches, adult blogs started getting shadowbanned, and recently, adult content has been entirely banned. I think this is a horrible decision - access to good, varied, inclusive sex ed is essential if you want people to have a fun and safe sex life. Predictably, some of my posts have been definitively hidden, and I take that same risk every time I post a new review.

This means I have to leave Tumblr as my primary content hub. I really regret it - I chose Tumblr for a reason, and not just because it was the cheapest option. It makes posts super accessible, directly on the dash of any person who follows me, which important because Tumblr is a hive of queer/kinky people (particularly youth) who could really use inclusive, correct info about sex toys even without actively going to look for it. It also makes sex toy education accessible for people who can't/don't dare seek out nsfw websites (such as people with overbearing parents, in abusive relationships, etc). Sadly, I don’t have a choice: with the course Tumblr is taking, it’s increasingly hard to reach my audience, and my blog could just be deleted at any time, rendering all my hard work void.

I’ll keep this blog active, replacing the body of the posts with links to the same posts on my new site, so if you keep following this blog, you will stay updated and will easily be able to click through to my content. For that to be possible, however, I need to pay for self-hosting. Being a student, this is not easy to budget for. So, if you’d like this blog to keep existing, I would really appreciate your support.

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From the Earth to the Moon: a review of the Tantus Capsule Petite Super Soft plug

Robot dicks! They’re great! They’re fun, they have the real “toy” feel to them, and you get orgasms out of them! Tantus has been making a few mechanic-type toys lately, and the one I got to try is their Capsule Petite plug. It’s not exactly a robot dick, but getting to shove a tiny rocket up your butt seems close enough to me. It’s also quite small and squishy, so you don’t need to have an especially tough butt to love it!

Description

I love the Capsule Petite’s design. It’s just so pretty! So steampunk, so detailed, such a gorgeous copper colour (though you can also buy it in black)! The detailing on this thing really is impressive – Tantus has included all the circuits, tubes, screws, etc. I also really like the shape: they’ve done a really good job at making a rocket into a butt plug shape while still being very recognisable as a rocket.

The Capsule Petite is made from Tantus’s Super Soft silicone. As I said in my review of their Echo Super Soft, Tantus is the first mainstream manufacturer to have branched out into lower-density silicone. This is really cool in general, since it introduces costumers to the fun of squishy toys. It works particularly well with the Capsule in particular, since its design has quite some texture to it, and squishy silicone make that texture more manageable. You very much feel the texture in use, but it remains comfortable.

Since the Capsule Petite is the small version of the Capsule, it’s also accessible for people who can’t fit a lot up their butt, which is really cool, since other exciting models are often quite big. Props to Tantus for not thinking that small = basic! The Capsule Petite Super Soft has an insertable length of 3 inches/7,7 cm, with a diameter of 1.4 inches/3,6 cm at the widest point. The base is thicker than that – about 2 inches/5 cm – which makes it perfectly anal-safe. Due to the rocket-like shape, though, the base is quite big and bulky, so the Capsule is not really made for long-term wear. Sitting down with this plug in is uncomfortable, because the base sticks out from between your buttcheeks, and walking with it in is almost impossible. More of a play plug than a wear plug, then, but as a play plug, it’s great.

The Super Soft silicone could make the Capsule Petite plug hard to insert, but its decent diameter stops it from getting floppy, so that is not actually an issue. Still, it’s small enough that you don’t need to be super experienced with anal play to use it. Once inside, it feels really nice – the squish is good to clench around, and the subtle but noticeable texture adds a new dimension to it. The base, despite making long-term wear difficult, is great during play: you or your partner can easily reach it to wiggle it back and forth so the Capsule will press against your sweet spots. In the same vein, it could make for a great vaginal plug!

I really like the Tantus Capsule Petite plug. I love fun toys, and the Capsule definitely qualifies for that – it’s a tiny steampunk rocket! It is a squishy, small, but still very cool-looking plug that makes awesome design accessible to people who prefer smaller toys. And, while not cheap (which is understandable, given the level of detailing on this toy), it remains relatively affordable. So if you’re looking for a mechanic/robot/steampunk-type toy to add to your collection, the Capsule Petite Super Soft is certainly a good bet!

Care

The Tantus Capsule Petite Super Soft is obviously made with body-safe silicone, so most silicone-based lubes should be avoided, except for Pjur Silicone and Sliquid Hybrid, which Tantus lists as compatible lubes. Don’t use the Capsule with any other silicone-based lubes or pre-lubricated condoms; you’d risk damaging it. Any water-based lube is great, though.

All the details on the Capsule design do make for quite a few nooks and crannies that trap a lot of lube and bodily fluid. Cleaning can consequently get a bit tricky. If you struggle with getting some of the gunk out, you can use a very soft toothbrush to gently brush it away. You can clean the Capsule with soap and water, or sanitise it with a 10% bleach solution (which should also help get rid of any butt odours). You can also just boil it for a few minutes. If you want to know more about sex toy care, head over to this page.

Purchasing

The Tantus Capsule Petite Super Soft comes in Tantus’s classic clear plastic foldable box, without a storage bag. This is a bit of a pity, as the box is not really great for storage.

Tantus is the biggest silicone sex toy manufacturer in the US. As a small, family-owned company, they managed to rise to the top without compromising on quality, design or ethical standards. They have made a few missteps lately, particularly related to ableism, but they’re still such a staple that I don’t feel I can exclude them. They generally do their best, though, so I’m hoping for a sustained effort on their part.

At this point in time, you can sadly only buy the Tantus Capsule Petite Super Soft in the US. SheVibe sells it for 40 dollars/34 euros/30 pounds. You could also buy it from Tantus itself, but it’s more expensive, and shipping costs (particularly to Europe) are horrendously high.

Affiliate links were used in this review.

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Orgasms on-the-go: a review of the Satisfyer Pro Traveler clitoral pulsator

I’ve tried a bunch of Satisfyers by now. The pulsating technology invented by Womanizer has taken the sex toys world by storm, and Satisfyer hopped on the bandwagon with A Fuckton of models. Their newest model is the Satisfyer Pro Traveler, which is a discreet, luxurious-looking box-like little toy that opens to reveal the Satisfyer nozzle. It’s not my favourite model of theirs, but it’s a good option if you’re looking for a discreet toy that’s easy to travel with or to hide in a dorm or family home.

Description

The Satisfyer technology is often described as suction, but that’s not what it is. It is actually a steady stream of puffs of air blown against your clit by a pulsating membrane. It makes for a kind of quick tapping that really encompasses my entire clitoral complex and leads to extremely satisfying orgasms, without any of the overstimulation that occurs with vibrations, so I can just go again immediately!

The Satisfyer Pro Traveler is the newest model in the Satisfyer Pro line, which means that it’s rechargeable and waterproof. It has a parallelogram-type shape, made from two triangles that click together magnetically. One of the pieces is the body of the actual toy; the other is hollow, to accommodate the Satisfyer Travel’s nozzle when they click together. Aesthetically, I’m not overwhelmed: kind of boring dark purple with rose-gold-ish metallic accents isn’t the most original or exciting thing I’ve seen. Also, the entire white nozzle part on top of that purple looks kind of weird to me, but I’m probably just picky.

Like all the newest Satisfyers, the Satisfyer Pro Traveler has a plus and a minus button, situated on the white part with the nozzle. You turn the toy on with a long press on the plus button, and then you can simply click through the settings to find the one that works best for you. The Satisfyer Pro Traveler has eleven intensities. I rarely turn it all the way up – I stick to level five or so unless my meds are really acting up and making orgasms really hard.

The Satisfyer Pro Traveler is rechargeable thanks to a magnetic charger that clicks against two metal charging points on the body of the toy – the part that contains the actual toy, not the cap, obviously. That makes the Satisfyer Pro Traveler waterproof – and yes, after my mishaps with the first Satisfyers, I tested that thoroughly. It doesn’t use the same chargers as the other Satisfyer models, though, so be careful with that if you lose your charger and have to repurchase one.

I said the Satisfyer Pro Traveler is not my favourite – that’s because I find it very hard to get off with this model. The nozzle is quite narrow, and its edges are quite thin as well. That makes it quite hard to cover more than just my clit and to get a good seal against my skin. With other Satisfyers, I like focusing the pulses on the sensitive spots next to my clit, because direct clitoral stimulation is way too intense for me. With the Satisfyer Pro Traveler, that becomes impossible for me, and as such, that lovely deep all-encompassing orgasm the Penguin and the Pro give me, for example, becomes unattainable.

That being said, if you have a smaller clit or enjoy more direct stimulation on it, this could be the perfect Satisfyer for you. It also genuinely is very discreet, and I would absolutely recommend it to anyone who wants a sex toy but is worried about someone (like overbearing parents or roommates) finding it, or to people who travel often and prefer some subtlety to the toys they bring with them. I’m disappointed I can’t universally recommend the Satisfyer Pro Traveler, because that discretion is a big plus, but it should still be a good bet for many people. It is also the most affordable out of the entire Satisfyer Pro line.

Care

The Satisfyer Pro Traveler is pretty easy to clean. Being made from silicone and ABS plastic, it is perfectly body-safe. It is fully waterproof, so you can clean it with soap and water or sanitise it with a 10% bleach solution (rinse well!). Unlike the other models, the silicone head is not removable, so you can’t boil it to sterilise them, which is a pity. Never boil the actual toy: you’d kill the motor. If you do want to give the cavity that contains the membrane some more attention, you can gently clean it with a Q-tip.

Since the body of the Satisfyer Pro Traveler is made of silicone, you’d best avoid silicone-based lube. Water-based lube works great, though! To learn more about sex toy care, head over to this page.

Purchasing

I’m on the fence about Satisfyer as a company. On the one hand, they shamelessly copied Womanizer’s technology; on the other hand, they made it a lot more affordable, and, as such, accessible to more people. On the one hand, they acknowledge the importance of bloggers; on the other hand, they kind of use us solely as a tool in their marketing offence. On the one hand, they made really bad quality products and used bloggers and clients to figure out which changes they needed to implement, instead of properly testing them beforehand, like they should have; on the other hand, they did end up fixing the issues and making really good, affordable toys. In the end, I love many of their toys, and dislike many of them – a toy’s individual quality matters most to me.

The Satisfyer Pro Traveler comes in a cardboard box with a picture of the toy on it. The box is hygienically sealed, which is always reassuring. Inside the box, a plastic mould houses the toy itself as well as the charger. It also includes also a user’s manual. There is no storage bag, though, and the box is not really an option for storage.

You can purchase the new Satisfyer Pro Traveler:

from Vibrant (US) for 49 dollars/43 euros/38 pounds (use the code PILLOWPRINCESS for 10% off)

from The Pleasure Garden for 45 pounds/51 euros/59 pounds

Affiliate links were used in this review.

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The ripple effect: a review of the Tantus Ripple Small dildo/plug/anal beads

Small yet non-boring strap-able toys are hard to find, y’all. For me, that’s mostly a problem for butt toys. Butt sex turns me on – has forever – but my butt is not exactly a champion, so I need small toys. But small, straight toys are often quite underwhelming, and that puts me off butt stuff, and that’s sad. And this is a problem as well for people who struggle with vaginal penetration: regular toys are painful, small toys are boring, so you end up just giving up.

Enter Tantus and their Ripple Small! It’s only about as thick as a finger, but it’s textured, like a stiff strand of anal beads, and it has an actual base that makes it harnessable. I really love it, and it’s totally my favourite out of all the small strap-on toys I’ve tried – not painful, not boring, feels good! And it’s really affordable!

Description

The Tantus Ripple Small is halfway between a dildo and a set of anal beads. It’s basically a thin, straight rod with four bumps along the shaft. The first bump, at the tip, is pretty thin, and then the next bumps thicken as you get closer to the base. The full thing is 5 inches/12,7 cm long, and it has a diameter of 1 inch/2,5 cm at its thickest point (the tip is maybe 0.6 inches/1,5 cm.) This is a very good size, in my opinion: longer than a finger, so long enough to reach those spots you might have trouble stimulating without a toy, but short enough not to become uncomfortable; thin enough to make penetration easy and comfy, but thick enough to be stimulating. If the harness-compatibility and the texture interest you, but you prefer a bigger size, Tantus also makes the Ripple Large, which stands at 5.5 inches/14 cm for a thickness of 1.5 inches/3,8 cm.

The Ripple Small’s silicone is pretty firm, which is logical, since it was designed as an anal toy. Squishy silicone is harder for butt stuff, because it tends to flop away instead of actually entering your butt. Still, Tantus’s silicone is flexible enough to have some give to it and not feel pokey. It’s also quite smooth, which makes penetration comfortable. Like all Tantus toys, the Ripple Small does drink lube, though, so you’ll have to be generous with it.

The Ripple Small comes in black and dark purple (one of the least ugly purples on the sex toy market, in my humble and totally not biased-against-purple opinion).

The base is obviously a lot broader than the toy itself – without it, the Ripple Small would not be anal-safe. The big advantage of that base is that it makes the Ripple Small harness-compatible! A 1-inch/2,5 cm O-ring, and you’re good to go! I love the Ripple Small in a harness: its size avoids any discomfort, and its shape makes it feel really good. Like with anal beads, the Ripple’s bumps really emphasize the feeling of penetration during every thrust. They also slide really nicely against my perineal sponge (or against your prostate, if you have one.) This will definitely remain my go-to strap-on butt toy for a while, but it also feels great used as a plug. It’s even small enough to make double penetration really awesome, without any discomfort, so if that’s something you’re into, do get the Ripple Small! I would also totally recommend it as a vaginal toy for people who prefer penetration with smaller toys but still want some fun and texture – basically, the same reasoning applies for any kind of play involving the Ripple Small, whether anal or vaginal.

There’s not much more to be said about the Ripple Small. It’s a really good, solid toy, that combines the comfort of a small size with the fun and pleasure of texture, and it’s harness compatible, which is even rarer. It comes in purple (ugh) and black, and at 30 dollars/26 euros/23 pounds, it won’t break the bank. The Tantus Ripple Small has become one of my fave butt toys, and it is definitely is a worthy addition to the toybox of anyone who has a liking for small toys and for texture.

Care

The Tantus Ripple Small is obviously made with body-safe silicone, so most silicone-based lubes should be avoided, except for Pjur Silicone and Sliquid Hybrid, which tantus lists as compatible lubes. Don’t use the Ripple small with any other silicone-based lubes or pre-lubricated condoms; you’d risk damaging it. Any water-based lube is great, though.

Tantus’ silicone is a bit of a lint-hog; give the Ripple Small a rinse before use. You can clean it with soap and water, or sanitise it with a 10% bleach solution (which should also help get rid of any butt odours). You can also throw the Tantus Ripple Small in a pot of boiling water for a few minutes. If you want to know more about sex toy care, head over here.

Purchasing

The Tantus Ripple Small comes in Tantus’s classic clear plastic foldable box, without a storage bag. This is a pity as the box is not really great for storage.

Tantus is the biggest silicone sex toy manufacturer in the US. As a small, family-owned company, they managed to rise to the top without compromising on quality, design or ethical standards. They have made a few missteps lately, particularly related to ableism, but they’re still such a staple that I don’t feel I can exclude them. They generally do their best, though, so I’m hoping for a sustained effort on their part.

You can buy the Tantus Ripple Small:

in the US: at Vibrant, for 27 dollars/24,5 euros/22 pounds (get 10% off with the code PILLOWPRINCESS).

in Europe: at EspacePlaisir for 28 euros/32 dollars/25 pounds.

Affiliate links were used in this review.

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They don’t only attract maidens: a review of the Lust Arts Rainbow Agate Unicorn Horn and Custom Unicorn Horn dildos

I love indie toys; they’re often so pretty, so original, so well-designed, and made out of lovely squishy silicone. I am generally not super into fantasy toys, but I make an exception for unicorn horns – must be the gay! So when I learned there was a new indie manufacturer on the block and they made unicorn horns, my interest was piqued. And then I saw a picture of the rainbow version of their toy, and I knew I needed it. The Lust Arts Rainbow Agate Unicorn Horn dildo is beyond gorgeous. It’s a swirl of colours perched onto a bronze base, giving the whole thing a decidedly baroque look. It’s so beautiful I would use it as decoration in my home, if I wasn’t worried about awkward question.

When I got in touch with Lust Arts, they told me they were willing to send me two toys. The rest of their models are super impressive and well-made, but less up my alley, so I requested another Unicorn Horn, and Lust Arts told me they could make me a custom design! My girlfriend and I had a blast deciding the colours we wanted, and if possible, the resulting blue-and-gold beauty has stolen my heart even more than its Rainbow counterpart.

Description

I cannot stop gushing about how pretty these toys are. Lust Arts really did an amazing job with them. The creative idea behind them is great, and then they execute the design with impressive mastery. The colours and vibrant and true, and they mix without smudging; the density is uniform; the texture is varied, detailed and smooth. Lust Arts has only just begun, and they’re already doing fantastic work.

The Rainbow Agate Unicorn Horn is available as such on the Lust Arts website. It combines seven vibrant, sparkly colours into a beautiful rainbow swirl – every pour is unique, of course, since such a complex pattern is impossible to control precisely. The base is antique bronze-coloured, with a glyph-like pattern along its side. The overall effect is baroque: rich and dramatic like a Caravaggio painting. I really like this – I love loud, bright Pride-flag rainbow toys (I own the Split Peaches Rainbow Unicorn Horn), but I really like being able to be a Classy Dramatic Gay as well.

Much as I adore the Rainbow Agate, I might be even more in love with our custom design. My girlfriend and I asked for a custom unicorn horn with a dark gold base, blue as the main colour, the same dark gold as the base as the secondary colour, and black accents. And it looks phenomenal. It’s so pretty – the dark gold and rich, dark royal blue mix gorgeously and the black accents make it even more dramatic. I don’t know how Lust Arts does it, but the swirls are perfect, and they exceeded all our expectations. If you can afford it, I would absolutely recommend ordering a custom design.

Colours are not the only thing Lust Arts gives you the opportunity to customise. You can choose your preferred size as well as your preferred density. This is something I love about indie toy designers:  with other toys, it is often the case that I love the look of a toy, but know it will be too big or too small for me, or that its firmness will make its shape work less well for me. With indie manufacturers (and particularly with Lust Arts), you can buy a design you love in a size and firmness that will work for you, so you can actually enjoy using a toy as well as looking at it (and that’s still the most important thing, isn’t it?)

Size-wise, Lust Arts has five possible sizes: Teaser (Insertable Length: 4 inches/10.1 cm; Tip Diameter: 0.3 inches/0.76 cm; Shaft Base Diameter: 1.1 inches/‪2.7 cm), Pleaser (Insertable Length:  5 inches/12.7 cm; Tip Diameter: 0.47 inches/1.19 cm; Shaft Base Diameter: 1.4 inches/3.5 cm), Moaner (Insertable Length: 6 inches/15.2 cm; Tip Diameter: 0.6 inches/1.5 cm; Shaft Base Diameter: 1.75 inches/4.4 cm), Pounder (Insertable Length: 7 inches/17.78 cm; Tip Diameter: 0.75 inches/1.9 cm; Shaft Base Diameter: 2 inches/‪5 cm), and Screamer (Insertable Length: 8 inches/20.3 cm; Tip Diameter: 0.85 inches/2.15 cm; Shaft Base Diameter: 2.3 inches/‪5.8 cm). We have the Rainbow Agate in the Moaner size, which is a very good size for me, and our custom is in the Teaser size, for my girlfriend. It’s super cool that customers get to modulate sizes like this, and I totally encourage you to take advantage of this possibility. (Pro-tip: the Teaser is the perfect human-sized unicorn just. Just so you know. In case you are like me and love sticking dildos onto your forehead.)

When it comes to firmness, there are five options as well: Extra Soft, Soft, Medium, Firm, and Extra Firm. Extra Soft feels like a gel shoe insert; Soft like a stressball or a muscle at rest; Medium like a flexed muscle; Firm like an eraser; and Extra Firm has barely any give to it. Our Rainbow Agate has the Medium firmness, which is a great middle way, and our custom is Soft, to be extra forgiving. I’d recommend the Soft firmness for vaginal toys (a bit too squishy to make anal penetration easy) for people for whom penetration can be a bit tricky or who get overstimulated by too much firmness. Medium is a good bet if you know how the silicone of non-indie toys feels and would like to try a softer option without going to full squish route.

In use, the Unicorn Horn is less phenomenal than it is to look at, but it is still really good. The twisty pattern that makes it looks like a horn is two-stranded, with one shallower twist and one raised twist, which makes for really interesting stimulation. Cork-screwing it inside yourself is quite fun. Obviously, it is not going to pound your G-spot/prostate/A-spot into oblivion, but that’s because there’s no curve at all to it, and because it’s thinner at the tip, unlike dildos with prominent heads that are made to hone in right on your sweet spots. Depending on the size you choose, that texture might work well on that front, though. And, I mean, the only reason why it doesn’t blow my mind is because of its shape, and without its shape, it wouldn’t be a unicorn horn, would it?

Last but not least: for 5 dollars extra, Lust Arts will make the base of your toy into a suction cup, which means you can stick it to any flat surface and go to town on it! Doesn’t really work for me (my leg doesn’t exactly let me ride anything), but it’s a very cool option nonetheless.

The Lust Arts Unicorn Horns give you a myriad of customisation options, whether for colours, size, and density, and that customisation can be adjusted to fit any budget. Every design Lust Arts produces looks gorgeous, and the Unicorn Horn feels really good in use. I’m super enthusiastic about these toys, and can only recommend you buy your own if my enthusiasm has been contagious.

Care

The Lust Arts Unicorn Horns are all made from body-safe silicone, so they cannot be used with silicone-based lube – they would get damaged. Use a good water-based lube instead. The lower-density silicones can be quite tacky and attract lots of lint, so storing your toys in a bag might be a good idea. As for cleaning, that’s easy: water and soap will do just fine! If you prefer sanitisation, a 10% bleach solution is your friend, or you can throw the Unicorn Horn in boiling water for a few minutes. You can read up about sex toy care on this page.

Purchasing

Lust Arts is a lovely manufacturer, one that I’ve been delighted to discover. Their toys are gorgeous and original; they go out of their way to provide education and information about safe sex toy use on their website; they are very inclusive and gender-neutral in their marketing; and they are just incredibly nice to work with. Buying cool toys from a cool person is always extra great!

Your Unicorn Horn will be shipped in a ziplock plastic bag, with a Lust Arts sticker, a lube sample, and mini dildos! They’re my first minis and I am over the moon with them. Though I regret a storage bag, I really like the packaging: minimal, with equally minimal impact on the environment.

You can purchase your very own Unicorn Horn on Lust Art’s website. The Rainbow Agate in Moaner size and Medium density costs 85 dollars, and you can also get other original colours: Sunlight (white and gold) and Twilight (black, blue and purple). Our custom (Teaser size, suction cup base, gold base, blue main colour, gold secondary colour, and shimmering black accents, in Soft density) costs 50 dollars, and the most expensive possible custom model costs 130 dollars. If you don’t have a lot to spend, you can also have a solid one-colour horn made, and that one starts at 25 dollars (for the Teaser size).

Affiliate links were used in this review.

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Good things come in small packages: a review of the Blush Novelties Noje W1 vibrator

Bullet vibrators are great. They’re usually relatively quiet and discreet; they’re easy to travel with; they’re small enough not to be unwieldy or obtrusive during partnered sex or combined with other sex toys. All of those things make them into oft-recommended first sex toys. However, they also provide very pinpointed stimulation. And that’s their one disadvantage, for some people. Being recommended a bullet vibe is kind of useless if pinpointed clitoral stimulation makes your skin crawl or just fails to get you off. And if you want a broader vibrator, you’ll almost always be directed towards larger, louder, less wieldy models.

And that’s where Blush Novelties come into play (I seriously like them more every day.) They took the famed wand vibrator model, and made it tiny. Palm-sized. Bullet-sized. Boasting a power comparable to some of the best bullets out there, and at a very reasonable price. Which means there’s now a vibrator I can recommend to people who want a bullet vibe because of all of the advantages listed above, but who prefer broader clit stim. If that’s you, the Noje W1 might be the vibrator for you.

Description

First of all, I have to insist on the fact that when I say “tiny,” I mean tiny. The Noje W1 is 4.6 inches/11,7 cm long and its head (its thickest part) has a diameter of 1 inch/2,5 cm. It fits inside my palm. And, as I mentioned in previous reviews, I have tiny hands. Don’t expect “miniature wand” to mean “regular-sized vibrator” just because wands are generally gigantic – the Noje really is a miniature. (And now I’m thinking of miniature sex toys in general. I own a few tiny dildos from indie manufacturers, but can a fan of real miniatures for like, dollhouses and shit please tell me that miniature sex toys are a thing that exists? Because I need them.)

The controls on the Noje W1 are also more reminiscent of bullet vibrators. There’s just the one button at the base of the handle. A very long press will turn it on (or off), while a short press cycles through the Noje W1’s settings. The Noje W1 has ten settings: five vibration strengths, and five patterns. I’m here for this: if you’re going to include patterns, a half/half ratio seems like a great way to go, and five simple strength settings offer plenty of variety and build-up.

The vibrations on this thing are good. Not the best I’ve ever experienced, but up there, and that’s quite impressive in a vibrator this size. They’re powerful, nuanced, with a lot of rumble to them. The first strength setting is gentle enough not to be overwhelming, but it’s rumbly enough to still do its job, and it only gets better from there. The head on the Noje W1 is a bit too broad for my personal tastes, but that’s the point: that broadness is exactly what some people are after and find so rarely. And the vibrations are good enough that I still reach for it pretty often, which proves its quality.

Another big plus about the Noje W1 is that it’s very quiet. It’s not completely silent, of course, but it’s one of the quietest vibrators I own, even on the highest settings. It can’t be heard through a thick duvet, which is pretty fantastic, from a privacy point of view.

The Noje W1 charges easily: there’s a magnetic port on the side of the handle, near the base. The charging cord easily clicks into the port, and then you can just plug the USB end into whatever charger you have lying around! This charging system also makes the Noje W1 waterproof, which is always a good thing.

Last but not least: the Noje W1 is not horrendously expensive! It’s not cheap by any means, but at about 60 euros/53 pounds/70 dollars, its price point is comparable to similarly good bullet vibes. The Noje wands come in three colours (pink, purple and aqua green) as well as in three models; the W1, with a straight and slim handle; the W2, with a thicker handle; and the W3, with a curved handle. I really like this, because it offers a variety of options for people with mobility issues in their hands, for instance.

Blush Novelties’s Noje W1 is a really good vibrator that offers a great and much-needed alternative for people who prefer broader stimulation but still want the compactness and discretion of a bullet vibe. If you’ve never tried a vibrator and don’t really know which type to pick, I’d recommend the Noje W1 if your preferred method of clitoral masturbation is to rub your clit with three or more fingers, with the heel of your hand, or by rubbing up against something. If you use one or two fingers, you’re probably better off with a bullet vibe. Do give the Noje W1 a try if you’ve tried a bullet but were disappointed, though!

Care

The Noje W1 is made from ABS plastic with a silicone-covered head. You can easily wash it with water and soap, but you can also use a 10% bleach solution to sanitise it. Don’t boil a vibrator, though; you’d kill its motor, and that would be a waste.

Since the Noje W1’s head is covered in silicone, I would advise against using this toy with silicone-based lube. The silicone in the lube might interact with the silicone on your toy and damage it. Waterbased lube will do just fine! To learn more about sex toy care, head over to this page.

Purchasing

Blush Novelties is quite a big sex toy manufacturer. Lately, they have focused especially on affordable body-safe toys. They have also made unsafe toys, and made a few big PR mistakes in the past, but since Ducky Doolittle (a really good blogger and sex educator) has started working for them, they’ve become one of my favourite companies: body-safe, inclusive, and affordable.

Blush Novelties toys are really hard to find in Europe, which is a pity, since they’re so great and affordable. But I recently found out about Willie.nl, and immediately shot them a message about reviewing for them, because they are one of the only European retailers that stuck Blush toys! They also have a very wide range of other toys (some unsafe, but most not) and are quite inclusive. I was very happy to get to work with them.

The Blush Novelties Noje W1 comes in a plain cardboard box, just big enough to house the vibrator in its plastic mould, along with the charging cord. There’s a plastic window in the box, so you can see the toy inside. Not a great box for storage, but I guess you can’t have everything.

You can purchase the Noje W1 wand at Willie.nl for 60 euros/53 pounds/70 dollars.

Affiliate links were used in this review.

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Sticking to it: a review of the Loving Joy Suction Cup Dildo

You might remember that I reviewed a Loving Joy toy a while back. It was a vibrator, and I was quite impressed by it – Loving Joy seems to be making many good, body-safe affordable toys lately. Now I’m reviewing one of their dildos for one of my absolute favourite stores: the Pleasure Garden! The Loving Joy Suction Cup dildo is a very affordable yet anything but boring dildo. Perfect as a first dildo or as an addition to an existing collection if you don’t have much coin to spend, it has features that cheap dildos usually lack, such a pronounced texture, a shaped shaft and a suction cup. All of that for only 20 pounds, which is kind of the lower price limit for silicone dildos.

Description

The Loving Joy Suction Cup dildo is midsized dildo, with a length of 6 inches/15.5 cm, about 5 inches/13 cm of which are insertable. Its girth is 1.6 inches/4 cm at the widest point.  It looks tiny to me for some reason (tinier than similarly-sized dildos when I look at it alone), but it’s honestly not small. I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re completely inexperienced with penetration, but if you can comfortably take three fingers, you should be fine.

Unlike most cheap, “beginners’” dildos, the Loving Joy Suction Cup dildo is not boring and straight. It actually has both some curve and some texture to it. The shaft is kind of hourglass-shaped, like two ellipsoid shapes stacked on top of each other. It curves a bit towards the front, not enough to be a G-spot/prostate-seeking missile, but it does offer some nice stimulation if your sensitive spots are relatively accessible. The hourglass shape makes for lovely thrusting, since it recreates the slight stretch of penetration over and over again, and the thicker parts are pleasantly filling and press nicely against any sensitive areas. The three pronounced ridges right beneath the head of this dildo also add A Lot to the sensations it provides me with. They’re very noticeable, inescapable, sometimes even a bit too much if I haven’t been super generous with the lube. That texture is only enhanced by the Loving Joy Suction Cup Dildo’s very firm silicone: it barely has any give to it, and that pushes those ridges even harder against your inner walls.

Those ridges and that firmness do emphasise that this is not a super slim dildo, so while this is a great first dildo given its affordability and originality, I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re particularly sensitive during penetration. However, the Loving Joy Suction Cup Dildo’s black silicone is truly silky smooth, which makes insertion and thrusting super effortless and does diminish the intensity of that texture a bit, until you clench around it again. So, yes, truly a very versatile and well-designed dildo! I’m personally more into intense G-spot/A-spot stim than into texture, and this dildo doesn’t offer that, but if you like texture or are curious about it, I’d totally recommend the Loving Joy Suction Cup Dildo.

Last cool feature that’s pretty rare on such affordable toys: the suction cup! It’s really very good and sticks super hard to any flat surface. Once it’s on there, it doesn’t budge, and I have to wiggle my finger underneath the base to unstick it. A great dildo if you’re into riding a dildo that you stuck to a chair or thrusting backwards against a wall or anything similar. The base is also super handy for handheld use as well as strap-on sex. It’s thin enough to easily and comfortably fold up into the palm of my hand, but it’s also solid and broad enough to fit really well in a harness. You’ll need a 1.75-inch/4.4 cm O-ring to attach this dildo to a harness, or a stretchy 1.5-inch/3.8 cm one.

The Loving Joy Suction Cup Dildo is not my favourite – it’s not even on the list of my favourites – but it’s a solid dildo with a very low price-point and an original design. I’d actually recommend it most to people who already own a dildo that they like, want to add some variety into their collection, and are intrigued by texture. As a first dildo, it might be a bit risky, a bit leaping into the deep end – or like, the middle bit, more accurately: it’s not going to be scary or painful but it might be pushing your comfort zone a bit. But honestly that just depends on your experience with penetration in general, so it’s up to you! In any case, it’s not a risky investment, since you’d be hard-pressed to find a much cheaper body-safe dildo out there. And honestly, for that price? The Loving Joy Suction Cup Dildo is a damn good deal.

Care

Being made from silicone, the Loving Joy Suction Cup Dildo is best not used with silicone-based lubes or pre-lubricated condoms. The different silicones might bond and damage your toy. Water-based lube will do the trick just fine!

You can simply clean your dildo with water and soap; that’ll do just fine! You can also sanitise it with a 10% bleach solution (rinse well!) or by throwing it into a pot of boiling water for about ten minutes. If you want to learn more about sex toy care, head over to this page.

Purchasing

Loving Joy has been producing an impressive array of body-safe toys at very affordable prices lately. And I have to say, I’m super into that! They don’t have much of a social media presence and don’t communicate directly with bloggers, so I can’t really judge their ethics, but I can say that their marketing and packaging is pretty neutral and in no way tacky or offensive. This brand is a really safe bet for good, body-safe, affordable toys!

The Loving Joy Suction Cup Dildo was kindly sent to me by The Pleasure Garden, which has become one of my top three favourite sex stores within a few months of existing. They are one of the most inclusive shops I’ve come across – gender, orientation, ethnicity, disability, fat-positivity, socio-economic level: they actively pay attention to everything. They are particularly inclusive of disabled people, and for me, that is the mark of a truly inclusive sex shop, since we are so often forgotten in progressive communities. Their toy selection is also very well-curated, and consists only of body-safe products. I’m really happy to be partnering with them, and very enthusiastic about being able to recommend such a cool store to all of you!

The Loving Joy Suction Cup Dildo comes in a simple cardboard box; nothing fancy, not exactly discreet but by no means tacky. Shipping to mainland Europe took under a week. You can purchase the Loving Joy Suction Cup Dildo from The Pleasure Garden for 19.90 pounds/23 euros/26 dollars.

Affiliate links were used in this review.

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The joy of Mother Earth: a review of the Blush Novelties Gaia Eco vibrator

Open the gates, toll the bells, sing Hallelujah, for I HAVE FOUND IT! (Yes, this toy warrants capslock. It’s this fantastic. Well, the toy itself is not exactly fantastic. It’s just good. Simply, thankfully good. And mind-blowingly cheap. After five years of searching (oh yes, I’ve been on this quest since well before I started this blog), I have finally found the perfect first vibrator. One I can recommend to people who have no experience with sex toys and want to find out if they like vibrations. One that’s genuinely good, so that those people won’t end up disappointed in sex toys just because they picked up a crappy bullet vibe, and that it will even keep bringing them pleasure way beyond those first tries. One that is, last but emphatically not least, ridiculously cheap, so that being introduced to a good toy only costs about the price of a visit to Starbucks for two. Nine euros, you all. (That’s about 8 pounds/11 dollars.) You can finally buy a genuinely good vibrator for nine euros. I am legitimately blown away and bouncing with enthusiasm. Bless Blush Novelties, bless the Gaia.

Description                                  

The Blush Novelties Gaia is a bullet vibrator. Well – I call it a bullet because it’s straight with a pointed tip, but it is a bit big to be a bullet. A bit very big. It’s 5.7 inches/14,5 cm long and 1 inch/2,5 cm thick – quite a bit longer than my hand. With this size, you can even use it internally (only vaginally! No flared base, so no butt stuff), but its shape is a bit boring for that. It really only offers internal vibrations, no stimulation of any sweet spots. But no matter! The Gala was meant to be used clitorally, and boy does it do its job well.

The Gala’s vibrations are good. Genuinely good. Not as rumbly or powerful as the Tango’s, obviously, but at about one eighth of the price, that seems logical. They are middle-of-the-road between rumbly and buzzy, the kind that works for most people. Not too much rumble for people who get overwhelmed by it, but without ever becoming the kind of buzzy that leaves you superficially overstimulated and deeply unsatisfied. Strength-wise, they range from low and gentle to strong enough to unfailingly and quickly get me to orgasm.  They’re not whisper-quiet, but they’re anything but loud either – I wouldn’t use the Gaia with someone else in the room, but if there’s a closed door in between you, there’s no need to worry about discretion. If this description sounds very similar to many other vibrators I’ve reviewed, that’s because it is. The Gaia’s vibrations are identical to many vibrators I own that cost five to ten times its price. What more can I say?

The Gaia is battery-powered: the cap at the bottom unscrews so the body of the toy can house two AA batteries. I like that: AA batteries offer quite a lot of power, as the Gaia’s strength suggests, and they are easy to find. The only disadvantage is that if you use the Gaia as often as I do, the extra price of the batteries might quickly add up. The same cap serves as a control for the Gaia: by twisting it, you can very easily increase and decrease the vibration strength. That means the Gaia doesn’t have clear vibrations settings: the strength changes very gradually. Those controls are easy to manipulate even with one hand, which is another point in the Gaia’s favour. And the twisty cap makes the Gaia fully waterproof, which is very rare for vibrators at that price point. Fun in the bath or shower is a possibility! And cleaning is a lot easier too.

The Gaia’s next and last cool perk is its ecological design. Right off the bat, it comes with minimal packaging in recycled cardboard, which is always cool. But it’s better than that! It is made with biodegradable ABS plastic, which means your sex toy won’t keep polluting the Earth for the next several centuries! First Dodil, now Blush Novelties – I’m all for sex toy companies genuinely thinking of their ecological impact. And the Gaia’s plastic is perfectly non-porous, and thus perfectly body-safe – no worries on that front! The Gaia comes in three pretty pastel colour: my blue, of course, but also pink and green.

There’s not much else to say about the Gaia, since it doesn’t come with any frills. It’s simply a genuinely good vibrator that comes at a mind-blowingly low price point and was produced with care for the environment. There are better vibrators out there, of course, but honestly not that many that I can undoubtedly say blow it out of the water. And there are no vibrators that come even close to its quality at a similar price point. You have to spend at least three to four times the Gaia’s price to get something that even approaches it. If you are curious about trying out sex toys, without a doubt, this is the vibrator I recommend. If you want a back-up vibrator, a vibe for traveling, just a good toy to add to your collection for a tiny price: again, the Gaia, without a second of hesitation.

Care

As I said, the Gaia is waterproof. That makes it easy to clean. Soap and water will do it – just make sure the cap is properly screwed shut. If you want to sanitise the Gaia, you could also use rubbing alcohol or a 10% bleach solution. Since there’s no silicone in the Gaia’s plastic, I am pretty sure you can use it with any kind of lube. Storing the Gaia without the batteries or with the batteries inserted the wrong way around might prevent them from prematurely losing their charge and might prevent the Gaia from accidentally turning itself on. You can learn more about sex toy care on this page.

Purchasing

Blush Novelties is quite a big sex toy manufacturer. Lately, they have focused especially on affordable body-safe toys. They have also made unsafe toys, and made a few big PR mistakes in the past, but since Ducky Doolittle (a really good blogger and sex educator) has started working for them, they’ve become one of my favourite companies: body-safe, inclusive, and affordable.

Blush Novelties toys are really hard to find in Europe, which is a pity, since they’re so great and affordable. But I recently found out about Willie.nl, and immediately shot them a message about reviewing for them, because they are one of the only European retailers that stuck Blush toys! They also have a very wide range of other toys (some unsafe, but most not) and are quite inclusive. I was very happy to get to work with them.

The Blush Novelties Gaia Eco comes in a plain recycled cardboard box, just big enough to house the vibrator. On it, there is a simple picture of the Gaia, along with some informative text. Not ideal for storage (a fabric pouch or even a Ziploc bag would do better), but it could do in a pinch.

You can purchase the Gaia from Willie.nl for 9 euros/7 pounds/12 dollars. (That price. I’ll never be over it.)

Affiliate links were used in this review.

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Dildos with no frills: a review of the Funkit Toys NoFrillDo dildos

You already know that affordability is a big priority of this blog. Finding good, safe sex toys with a reasonable price tag is easier than it used to be, but it’s still a challenge, and it requires quite some knowledge of sex toys in general, since the best-known toy companies are generally pretty expensive. But that’s what I’m here for! And today, I want to talk about three dildos manufactured by Kenton, the lovely owner of Funkit Toys.

Kenton has thought out three uncomplicated but anything but boring dildo models, in four different colours. Each one of those costs only 24 US dollars, the equivalent of 21 euros or 18 pounds. They cater to different tastes and preferences, so I am pretty sure you will like at least one of them. They’re fun, they’re cheap, they’re pretty, and they’re good. I will be reviewing all three of them in this post, thanks to the generosity of two fantastic ethical sex shops: Spectrum Boutique and Early To Bed.

Description

Funkit Toys makes three different models of NoFrillDos: the G/Curve/Curvy, which is a straight shaft with a sharp curve at its tip; the R/Helix/Twisty, which is shaped like a unicorn horn; and the B/Bumpy, which is slightly thicker than the other two and has two bumps at the end of its shaft. I really like the variety of these models: the curved shaft is a tried-and-tested classic shape that works for almost everyone, the textured unicorn horn is increasingly popular but still whimsical and fun, and the two-bumped model is one I haven’t seen anywhere else – points for originality! All three of these models are available in four colours: yellow, cyan, magenta, and black. All three are also harness compatible and anal-safe, thanks to their circular flared base.

Being made from the same silicone, the three NoFrillDos feel very similar. They have a smooth, slick surface, that doesn’t drink too much lube and feels very comfortable in use. When it comes to firmness, I’d call the NoFrillDos midrange: they obviously have way more give than most other dildos in that price range (cheap body-safe dildos are generally made from very firm silicone), but they aren’t exactly squishy either – quite a bit firmer than most other indie toys I’ve tried. I feel like this makes for a nice texture: forgiving, but not floppy.

The first time my girlfriend and I tested these dildos, we played one of our favourite games: I closed my eyes, she grabbed a dildo, used it on me, and I had to guess which one it was. Believe me, it’s harder than it looks, but that’s what makes it fun. I will be reviewing the NoFrillDos in the order we tried them in, because it’s also my order of preference (my girlfriend knows me too well.)

We have the R/Helix/Twisty (the unicorn horn) in pink – in for a penny, in for a pound, right? It is 6.75 inches/17 cm long and 1.25 inches/3,2 cm thick at its thickest point. Obviously, the tip of the horn is thinner, and the shaft thickens towards the base. Since it’s a horn, there’s obviously no curve to this dildo, but it is a nice, gentle stretching dildo. The deeper you take it, the thicker it is, but given its modest size, it’s accessible for most people who enjoy penetration. It also has texture, obviously! The horn shape is achieved through a double twist of silicone, which makes for gentle, smooth twisting ridges. It’s hard to feel inside my vagina, but it does feel really nice at the entrance. The only reason why this is my least favourite of the three is because I’m a sharp-curves-and-prominent-head kind of girl, and not so much a texture fan.

That does explain why I really like the B/Bumpy. It’s thicker (1.4 inches/3,5 cm), and slightly shorter (6.5 inches/16,5 cm). I quite like squat toys – they are less cervix-murdering when used in harnesses, without sacrificing any girth. What really makes this toy great, however, are the twin bumps at the tip of the shaft. It’s a design I’ve never seen before, and it’s great. In a world of dildromedaries, Funkit Toys just invented the camel. The first bump is placed like the head of a regular dildo, but right beneath it, there is a second, identical protrusion. And it feels great during thrusting: instead of the usual back-and-forth over my G-spot, this dildo hits it twice! (I say G-spot, but this obviously works with prostates too.) It’s a novel sensation – repeated stimulation without real texture – and I, for one, am a fan of it. If you’re more of a pressure person than a texture person, the B/Bumpy could be a fantastic dildo for you.

And then we get to my favourite. I was really surprised that it was my favourite, to be honest – I’d expected my girlfriend to end our little game with the B/Bumpy, because I’d expected to love that one the most. Turns out, she knows me better than I know myself. The G/Curvy looks unassuming: a length of 6.75 inches/17 cm, a girth of 1.25 inches/3,2 cm, and a simple shaft that curves at the end. And yet, upon insertion, the G/Curvy immediately had me squeaking, spluttering and slapping the mattress. My girlfriend’s reaction? “Ohhhh, I like this one!” Well, yeah, so did I, obviously. This thing is a fantastic A-spotter: the length and the curve of it means the tip effortlessly hones in right on my A-spot, and thinness of that tip combined with the firmness of the silicone provides for the awesome kind of pressure that makes me feels like my insides are melting, in the best way. It immediately earned a spot in my favourites drawer. The BLAH has, without a doubt, become my go-to cheap recommendation for A-spotting lovers, but it’s modest girth and smooth yet prominent curve also makes it a great choice as an anal dildo.

Funkit Toys did a fabulous job with the NoFrillDos. They look awesome, they feel awesome, and their price is as low as body-safe dildos get. If you’re new to sex toys, or if you want to build a collection but don’t have much coin to spend, I can only heartily recommend the NoFrillDos: they’re just as good as their pricier counterparts.

Care

Being made from silicone, the NoFrillDos should not be used with silicone-based lube, or with pre-lubricated condoms. Go for a good water-based lube instead – it does its job as well, and won’t harm your toy.

As for washing, soap and warm water normally suffice. If you want to sanitise your toy, you can also clean it with a 10% bleach solution or boil it for a few minutes. I always recommend washing your toys before use as well, but you could store them in a bag or something to avoid them attracting too much lint. Head to this page to learn more about sex toy care.

Purchasing

Funkit Toys is a one-man company, hemmed by Kenton, who is a bi man who does a lot to include absolutely everyone (except bigoted arseholes). He is obviously vocally inclusive of women, queer people, people of colours, disabled people, poor people (hence why he made the NoFrillDos), he has donated money to several of those causes, and he has sold NoFrillDos to support sex workers. Kenton is a Good Dude, and by supporting his company, you support him doing good things.

Spectrum Boutique and Early To Bed are two fantastic ethical sex shops – the former located in the US, the latter in Canada. They both sell body-safe toys, are super inclusive (both have a section for gender-affirming gear), and are lead by very nice people. Honestly, the choice between both of them comes down to location only, in my opinion; I love them both equally!

You can buy the NoFrillDos in:

Canada: 24 dollars/21 euros/18 pounds at Early To Bed (Bumpy in yellow, Helix in blue, Curve in pink, all in black)

US: 24 dollars/21 euros/18 pounds at Spectrum Boutique (every model in every colour!)

Affiliate links were used in this review.

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Mind and senses purified: a review of the Lovehoney Desire Bullet vibrator

I’m always looking for good clitoral vibrators to review. They’re one of the products people turn to at the very start of their forays into the world of sex toys, and rightly so. A good bullet vibrator is a very useful and versatile toy, good for masturbation and for partnered sex, for quickly getting off and for long, luxurious orgasms. Sadly, a good bullet vibrator can be hard to find. There are so many on the market, and there’s quite a big risk of getting disappointed.

But there are many good clitoral vibrators on the market, and one of those is the Lovehoney Desire bullet vibrator. Lovehoney has come out with a line of midrange luxury sex toys of different types, called the Desire collection. I’d heard good things about it, so I wanted to test the bullet vibe. And I’m happy to confirm that it is indeed very good, although quite pricey.

Description

As far as bullet vibrators go, the Lovehoney Desire bullet is pretty standard. It’s 3.75 inches long, and the base has a 1 inch diameter that tapers towards the tip of the bullet. It fits nicely in the palm of my hand and is easy to hold between my fingers. The body of the Lovehoney Desire bullet is made from ABS plastic, but it is covered in a thin layer of purple silicone (yes, the whole Desire collection is purple. Why, Lovehoney? I know purple sells, but can we please show some originality?). The silicone is soft to the touch, which makes this bullet very pleasant during use.

As far as the vibrations go, this toy reminds me a lot of the Loving Joy 20 Functions power bullet. (To be honest, the shape and size is almost identical too. Given that the NU Sensuelle bullet also exists and is identical to the Loving Joy bullet, I suspect that this might be some kind of independent design that companies can pay to use, but I’m not certain of it.) The Lovehoney Desire bullet starts lower than the Loving Joy bullet, though: its first vibration strength is a lot less strong than the Loving Joy’s. That can be a good thing, in my opinion, because I thought the Loving Joy bullet was probably too powerful for sensitive folks. The Lovehoney Desire bullet offers a good alternative to that. The second vibration strength is very similar to the Loving Joy’s second setting, though, which means there’s a very steep increase between setting one and two on the Lovehoney Desire Bullet. That’s less ideal, because I can totally imagine that the people who like the first setting for a warm-up would need more than that to get off, but that the second setting might be too much for them. Even I am always taken aback by the power increase between the first two settings. However, I generally click through to the third setting to get off, so this toy is by no means too powerful if you’re not particularly sensitive.

Just like the Loving Joy bullet, the Lovehoney Desire bullet has twenty settings. Three steady speeds and seventeen patterns. I honestly don’t see the need for seventeen patterns. There are a few good and interesting ones, but most people need steady speeds to get off, and having to push a button over ten times to get to a steady setting once I’m ready to come ruins the build-up to my orgasm more often than not. Variety is a great thing, but it shouldn’t come at the expanse of user-friendliness.

That aside, the Lovehoney Desire Bullet’s vibrators are really good. Not comparable to the Tango’s, in my opinion, but that could be a good thing. The Tango is often considered the holy grail of bullet vibrators because it is so rumbly, and I love rumbly, but some people don’t. The Lovehoney Desire Bullet’s vibrations tone the rumbliness down to a midrange rumble-buzz combination, without ever falling into true high-pitched numbing buzziness. This could be a great option for those people who don’t like their toys with too much rumble. Power-wise, the Lovehoney Desire Bullet is excellent. It has enough power to make orgasms powerful and easily attainable, but still offers three strength settings to accommodate for different preferences.

The fact that the Lovehoney Desire Bullet is buzzier than the Tango does make it louder (like the Loving Joy bullet.) Its high pitch is harder to conceal, and I wouldn’t use it if you have a roommate – they’ll know what you’re up to. However, it can’t be heard through walls and closed doors, and in my opinion, that’s the most important test for vibrator volume.

The Lovehoney Desire Bullet’s controls are pretty classic: one single pushbutton on the base of the toy lets you cycle through the vibration settings. A long press turn the vibrator off entirely. This bullet also has a travel lock, which is super handy. Just press the button for five seconds until the light blinks three times, and do the same to unlock it.

The one big advantage this toy has over the Tango and the Loving Joy bullet is its charging system. It uses a simple magnetic charger that clicks onto the base of the toy – but this magnet is actually strong, and the charger stays put, unlike with the two other bullets, where charging can be fiddly. This charging method also makes the Lovehoney Desire Bullet fully waterproof.

Another really cool thing about the Lovehoney Desire Bullet is that it comes with its own storage case. It’s not entirely clear to me whether it’s real leather or faux leather. In any case, it’s a plain black storage case that zips close, a bit like a small pencil case. You can store the Lovehoney Desire Bullet and its charger in it, and even one or two extra bullets, if you want.

The Lovehoney Desire Bullet vibrator is a good vibrator. It’s rechargeable, powerful, user-friendly, and comfortable in use. Its one big problem is its price. At 50 pounds/57 euros/68 dollars, it’s not ridiculously expensive for its quality, but it’s definitely not affordable. And the issue is that you can buy the equally good Loving Joy bullet for only 40 pounds/46 euros/54 dollars, and the better Tango for only 55 pounds/63 euros/75 dollars. The only reason why I’d recommend you get a Desire bullet instead is if you’re particularly sensitive and want the single lower vibration setting that those other two bullets don’t offer.

Care

As I mentioned, the Lovehoney Desire Bullet Vibrator is covered in silicone, so you should never use it with silicone-based lube. To avoid damaging it, use water-based lube instead.

Cleaning the Lovehoney Desire Bullet Vibrator is pretty easy since it is waterproof. Soap and water will work just fine, and you can use a 10% bleach solution if you want to sanitise your toy. Never boil something with a motor, though: you’d be signing its death warrant. If you want to learn more about sex toy care, head over to this page.

Purchasing

Lovehoney is one of the leading sex toy retailers world-wide. They stock a gigantic amount of toys of all types – body-safe and not. They often create their own toy collections too, which are just as varied as the other toys they sell. Ethics-wise, they’re kind of a typical big company: they focus on what sells. I don’t like this much, since it means they sell non-body-safe toys and are not very inclusive, but it does mean you can find a lot of toys on their website, all for reasonable prices compared to other retailers.

The Lovehoney Desire Bullet Vibrator is shipped in a plain cardboard box. Inside, you’ll find the small, sealed cardboard box with a picture on the toy on it. You can just throw that box away, since you also get that cool storage case. And then of course, there is the toy itself, a charger, and a user’s manual.

You can buy the Lovehoney Desire Bullet Vibrator

at Lovehoney UK for 50 pounds/57 euros/68 dollars (I’d recommend buying from here even if you’re from another EU country, since conversion lowers the price and you still get free shipping.)

at Lovehoney US for 65 dollars/55 euros/48 pounds.

Affiliate links were used in this review.

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How you thrill me: a review of the Sh! Corset Harness and Honey 3 dildo

Sometimes, when you’re a sex toy reviewer, you want to try out the toys you thought about buying as your very first toys, just to know if they’re better than the toys you ended up buying and if you should tell your readers they’d best make the choice you didn’t make. For me, the Sh! Corset Strap-On Harness and Honey 3 dildo are at the top of that list. When my girlfriend and I bought our first strap-on set, we hesitated to buy this one, but decided otherwise for financial reasons.

The Sh! Corset Harness is a luxuriously soft leather harness with an elegant corset-laced back. The Honey 3 is a subtly curved, filling dildo, which looks particularly gorgeous in its blue-and-white marbled version. Looking back on the choice my girlfriend and I made, over two years back now, we probably picked the right harness for us, especially given our financial status, but the Honey 3 would have been an infinitely better match than the dildo we ended up buying. All in all, though, both the Corset Harness and the Honey 3 are really good toys, and your choice to buy them or not should depend on personal preferences rather than on any flaws.

Description

Sh! makes some damn beautiful toys, and their Corset Harness is no exception to this rule. Made of buttery soft genuine leather, sensually laced in the back, with a sturdy O-ring piece and metal rings and adjusters – every last detail is beautiful. And it comes in an array of gorgeous colours, my favourite of which is the light blue we picked. An unconventional colour for a harness, but so bloody pretty! If gold lamé is more up your alley, however, they even have that!

The soft leather feels absolutely glorious against your skin, and the broad backpiece and side-straps are very comfortable. The Corset Harness comes in two sizes: size A, for people with waist measurements up to a size 12 (UK)/40 (EU)/8 (US) and size B, for people with waist measurements up to 20 (UK)/48 (EU)/16 (US). When in doubt, go for the larger size – size A fits my girlfriend perfectly but we have a friend for whom it only just fits, despite their measurements falling within the A category.

The Corset Harness’s comfort is sadly compromised by the straps that go between your legs. They’re fine at first, but after a while they start to pinch a bit, and that’s really not a place where you want any pinching. I’m not sure why we only have this problem with this harness – maybe because its leather straps are slightly thicker than the nylon straps on our other harnesses. It’s not bad enough to ruin the mood, but it does make my girlfriend eager to shuck the harness as soon as we’re done.

The Corset Harness’s other disadvantage is also tied to those straps (ha, see what I did there?) The problem is that they have no pushbuttons to attach them to the O-ring. Instead, they loop around the O-ring and are guided back into a strap adjuster. That means you basically have to undo your entire harness every time you want to swap out the harness, and that’s just such a hassle. It makes me reach for another harness anytime I want to use a dildo that doesn’t fit into the O-ring that’s already in place. The Corset Harness does come with three O-rings, with diameters of 1.25, 1.5 and 1.75 inches. This should accommodate a wide range of dildos. 

The O-ring piece itself is very sturdy and soft. It doesn’t have a protective backing, so if you’re not careful, you might trap your pubic hair in the O-ring, but except for that, it’s very comfortable. It’s big and well-balanced, and combined with the wide backpiece, it makes even pretty heavy dildos easy to control. As is, the Corset Harness is a good option for people who prefer beautiful aesthetics, luxury and sturdiness to impressive comfort (to be fair, this harness as the ill luck of falling into my hands after the SpareParts Joque, which is unbeatable when it comes to comfort, so I may have become very picky.)

The dildo I got with it is a bit of a work of art. The colours on the Honey 3, my god! I asked for the one in marbled blue-and-white, and boy, did I make the right choice. In real life, the blue is a lot more royal blue than the light blue it seems to be on the pictures on Sh!’s website, and it swirls around and mixes with the white, creating lighter blue in places. It’s so gorgeous that I simply gaped at it for a while when I took it out of its box.

The Honey 3’s shape only adds to its beauty. It’s a thick, elongated S-shape; the shaft is thick near the base, thins out into a curve, and then thickens again at the head. This shape also makes it into a damn good dildo: the thick base presses against my G-spot, while the head perfectly hits my A-spot. That makes for fantastic double stimulation – not the intense kind of stimulation that I get with some other dildos and often favour, but that intensity is almost often reserved for dildos that make me choose between my G-spot and A-spot. The Honey 3 offers gentler but broader pleasure, and that makes me reach for it pretty often.

That gentleness is somehow relative, though, because at 6 inches/16 cm in length and 1.75 inches/4 cm in diameter, the Honey 3 is one filling dildo. Shorter than the dildo eyes-bigger-than-my-vagina two-and-a-half-years-ago me picked, but thicker too – which I’ve learned by now is what I prefer, girth over length. If you’re not quite size royalty, but do quite like bigger toys – maybe you’re size nobility, a size duchess, for instance, or a size earl or a size marquis – I very much recommend the Honey 3. Its length allows it to easily reach my A-spot, and its girth makes that clever shape shine all the brighter. Sh! uses pretty soft silicone, but the Honey 3’s girth makes it a lot less squishy than the Wirly Girly 2, for example – it really only has the slightest give to it.

The Honey 3 has the heart-shaped base Sh! gives all of their home-poured toys. Sh!’s squishy silicone means the base is quite pliable. This is useful for handheld use, since it’s very easy to comfortably fold the base into the palm of your hand. It might cause issues in a strap-on, though – some people say the base of their Sh! toy slipped through their O-ring during use. I haven’t had that problem, though, and I think that’s because the Honey 3’s base is comparatively thicker than thinner dildos – the people at Sh! did clearly think this through.

I would recommend the Corset Harness if you’re looking for a gorgeous and feminine yet sturdy harness that combines luxury and control. If you’d rather prioritise high comfort and ease of use, however, this might not be the harness for you. Same goes if you’re vegan; this is genuine leather. The Honey 3 is a dildo for size nobility who like gentler stimulation to both their G-spot and A-spot, or to their prostate, and who can’t resist a beautiful dildo. While neither of those toys get the “favourite” medal from me, they more than deserve a honourable mention.

Care

Being made entirely from genuine leather, you should be somewhat careful when cleaning the Corset Harness. Don’t submerge it in water; definitely don’t put it in the washing machine. Wipe it down with a damp cloth instead and leave it to air-dry. Hanging it on a clothes hanger to store it will also increase its longevity.

The Honey 3 is made from silicone, so it shouldn’t be used with silicone lube or pre-lubricated condoms. Use a good water-based lube instead. There are no nooks or crannies anywhere on this toy, and it’s obviously entirely waterproof, so it’s really easy to clean. You can use water and mild soap or a toy cleaner, but you can also boil it for a few minutes or clean it with a 10% bleach solution or rubbing alcohol if you want to sanitise it. To learn more about sex toy care, head over to this page!

Purchasing

Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium is one of my favourite sex toy manufacturers and retailers. They’re explicitly feminist and have been actively inclusive of queer people ever since their inception in 1992. I wish they’d get rid of the TPR stuff, but the vast majority of their toys are body-safe, so I can forgive that.

The major reason why I love them is that all their home-poured toys come in different sizes – and that means different lengths and girths. Like length but prefer a slim dildo? They have what you need! Too long is unpleasant but you don’t want to give up on the girthy goodness? Got you covered! Most manufacturers that make toys in different sizes make the length and girth proportional to each other and that excludes quite a lot of people’s preferences – I’m grateful to Sh! for including those people. The Honey also comes in different sizes, if the 3 doesn’t sound exactly like what you want.

Sh!’s packages ship very quickly to mainland Europe, in about one week. It comes in a plain white box with a transparent front, shipped in a discreet purple-wrapped package. The Corset Harness costs 66 pounds/75 euros/87 dollars and the Honey 3 costs 59 pounds/67 euros/78 dollars. Shipping to mainland Europe is about 10 euros. Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium offers a 10% discount for your first order – to get it, fill in your email address in the bottom right corner of the screen.

You can purchase the Corset Harness here and the Honey 3 here.

Affiliate links were used in this review.

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Pulsin’ and vibin’: a review of the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration, the Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit, and the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples

Satisfyer is clearly trying to take the sex toy world by storm. They’re doing this by branching out from clitoral pulsators into other types of toys that incorporate clitoral pulsating with vibrations. In two of those three toys, that vibration is internal; in the third, it’s clitoral vibrations in addition to clitoral pulsating. Those new models are, respectively, the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples, the Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit, and the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration.

Given their very similar vibrations, operating methods, and aesthetics, it makes the most sense to me to review those toys together. The Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples looked, from the start, like something that wouldn’t work. I had higher hopes for the Rabbit and the Plus Vibration, but both of them also missed the mark for me – though that is due more to individual anatomy and preferences than to bad design in itself.

Description

It might be good to go over Satisfyer’s pulsating technology first. They copied this technology from Womanizer – which I can forgive them for, because they made it a lot more affordable. The idea is that there is some kind of tunnel inside the body of the toy, and inside this tunnel, there is a pulsating membrane that sends rapid puffs of air against your genitals. A silicone cap creates an airtight seal between your body and the toy, which allows the puffs of air to actually hit your clit rather than escape through the sides. Contrarily to popular belief, those are not suction toys, and they are not actually that reminiscent of someone going down on you. The pulsating air feels a lot more like a finger or tongue quickly tapping against your clit. It’s a very novel sensation, and to me, it’s more intense than most vibrations, but still allows me to get off multiple times without having to jerk the toy away from my clit as soon as I come to avoid overstimulation.

As always with comparison reviews, I’ll start by focusing on the three new Satisfyers’ common characteristics.

The first obvious common characteristic is that all three of Satisfyer’s new toys have the same aesthetic: white, rose gold, and rounded-off triangular edges. Very 70s-80s sci-fi aesthetic, which is reminiscent of their very first toys.

Looks aside, the most important thing they have in common is the combination of vibration and pulsation technology. Each toy has two buttons: one that controls the pulsations, and one that controls the vibrations. The latter is recognisable because of the little wave printed on it; pressing it for a few seconds turns the vibrations on, and you can cycle through the vibration patterns with a short push. The pulsation is turned on and off with the power button in the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration and the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples, and you can control the intensity with the handy + and – buttons (this does mean you can easily lower the intensity if you accidentally go too high). The Rabbit, however, only has a + and – button – to turn the pulsations on, you just press the +.

This means that, with all three of these toys, you can control the pulsations and vibrations separately, and you can even completely turn one of the options off to focus only on the second one. Obviously, Satisfyer’s first purpose is to introduce people to pulsation technology, but their vibrations are actually pretty good – I was pleasantly surprised. They’re midrange vibrations, neither particularly rumbly nor particularly buzzy, which is a safe bet. They also go up to quite a decent amount of power – the kind that manages to get me off clitorally even without the help of the pulsations. All three new Satisfyer models have three vibration strengths and seven vibration patterns, for a total of ten settings. Like with the older Satisfyer models, the pulsations come in eleven levels of intensity. This makes for quite a varied range of combinations to choose from.

Lastly, all three new Satisfyer models have a few practical aspects in common. They are all rechargeable with a handy magnetic charger that you can plug into any USB outlet. They charge pretty quickly, and one charge gives you between one and two hours of play, which is average. This charging technique also makes all the new Satisfyers perfectly waterproof – and believe me, after the fiasco with the first generation of Satisfyers, I tested that aspect thoroughly. The silicone caps are removable, which makes them easy to clean, but secure enough not to fall off unbidden (which used to happen with their first Penguin.)

Now, let’s look at the new models separately.

I’ll start with the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples, because I need to get the bitterness out of the way. It sucks. And since, like I mentioned, it does not use suction technology, I do not mean this literally. It’s just bad, and I do not get how this design ever got approved for retail.

As the name suggests, it’s meant to be a “couples toy,” one of those toys with hopelessly cis-hetero-centric marketing that allows you to experience hand-free clitoral stimulation during penetrative intercourse. Well, I don’t know who believed this toy could ever achieve that purpose, but boy were they wrong. It is, for one, bulky as hell. Way too bulky to ever fit comfortably between two bodies during missionary. In any other position, it will work even less, because it will fall out – the internal arm is in no way secure enough for this toy to withstand gravity.

Right, I thought, when testing the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples. Let’s try this another way. Maybe it fails as a “couples toy,” but it could still work for hands-free clit stim while fucking myself with a dildo, leaving my other hand free to hold my phone or touch myself elsewhere. Well, that was a false hope. You see, the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples internal arm is flimsy, flexible, but not actually bendable in any useful way. The result of this is that, unless the distance between your clit and your vaginal opening is exactly the same as the distance between the bend between the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples’ internal and external part and its pulsating orifice (yes, I did that on purpose to evoke the horror of using this toy), one of the following things will happen. Either your clit is closer to your vagina than this toy allows, and then you won’t get any clitoral stimulation, no matter how hard you try. Or your clit is too far away from your vagina – as is my case – and then you’ll only partly insert the internal arm, taking advantage of that flexibility to make the clitoral part reach your clit. In that case, as soon as you start thrusting anything inside you, this thrusting movement will apply pressure to that weirdly bent flimsy internal arm and make the whole toy move back and forth, not only inside you but also against your clit. Result? In less than two seconds, the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples won’t be making any contact with your clit anymore, and it will, as such, be rendered completely useless. I mean, the vibrations on the internal arm aren’t bad, but if you picked up a couples toy, odds are you are looking for clitoral stimulation in addition to internal stimulation, and internal vibrations alone won’t be enough for you.

I am honestly baffled that Satisfyer didn’t realise, or didn’t care, that couples toys only work if they are secure and can’t move around too much during thrusting, because their purpose is to be combined with thrusting. Generally, this means that type of toy should be articulated, to allow you to position it as securely as possible. A slightly flexible internal arm that creates the illusion of adaptability but doesn’t actually deliver in any practical way is shameful. Either they didn’t realise this problem, which makes them incompetent, or they just didn’t care, which means they were trying to take advantage of their costumers. Either way, I hate this toy.

Now that this rant is out of the way, let’s take a look at the Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit. It is a good toy. Its one big disadvantage is that it’s a rabbit stimulator. They are notoriously tricky to get right, since anatomy varies so much from person to person. And sadly, the Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit isn’t a good fit for my anatomy. It undershoots my clit, even though the distance between my clit and vagina is not so big. To make the pulsating part reach my clit, I have to tilt the Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit towards me. This leads to several consequences that strongly diminish the pleasure I can get out of this toy. First, the shaft is not inserted all the way inside me. This is the smallest issue, since my G-spot is not very far in. However, the tilt also makes the shaft press against the much less sensitive back wall of my vagina instead of the front wall, where the G-spot is situated. This is the first real problem: it’s supposed to be a G-spot rabbit, and it doesn’t stimulate my G-spot. The second big problem is that, unlike with rabbit vibrators, the angle of the clitoral arm matters too. If the angle isn’t right, the pulsating part won’t seal onto your clit properly, and that will significantly lessen the stimulation provided by the pulsating. That’s what happens with me: by tilting the whole rabbit forward, one side of the pulsating part lifts up, and the air that’s supposed to stimulate my clit escapes through this gap instead.

To be completely fair, I’ve also seen bloggers rave about this toy – I imagine it fit their anatomy better. I can absolutely imagine that this toy would be great if it was a good fit for your body. The internal vibrations are really good, powerful enough to be very stimulating, and with enough strengths to pick one depending on your preferences. Rabbit toys are also my favourite type of toys for patterns, and the combination of an internal pattern and steady pulsating on my clit does make for a fantastic feeling.

I’m really sad that the Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit doesn’t hit the right spots for me. Whether it will work for you depends entirely on your anatomy, and I can’t really give you a good estimate that would guarantee it would fit you. One piece of information that might be useful to make your choice is that the pulsating part does fall right below my clit when the internal shaft is inserted comfortably. I personally prefer stimulation right above my clit rather than right below it, and I definitely can’t get off through the latter type of stimulation. If your clit is more sensitive on its underside, the Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit might works wonders for you even if it doesn’t manage to actually cover your clit.

Lastly, there is the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration. This is the only purely clitoral toy from the new line. There is the same pulsating membrane inside a “tunnel” in the toy, and the edges of the opening vibrate with the same very decent vibrations as the other Satisfyers. This means your clit is directly stimulated through pulsations, and surrounded with vibrations. That’s actually a really, really cool feeling. The vibrations traveling into the internal parts of my clit combined with the surface pulsations lead to impressively all-encompassing stimulation that provides me with good orgasms.

And yet, I don’t like the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration. Why? Because those orgasms take way too long, when Satisfyer’s other clitoral toys usually get me off not only satisfyingly, but also fast. The problem with the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration, I think, is that the pulsating membrane is way deeper inside the toy than with Satisfyer’s other models. This makes the stimulation a lot less intense than with the other models. Additionally, the opening is way smaller. What I like about Satisfyer toys is the intense, surrounding pulsating, which stimulates the entirety of my clit and gives me bone-deep, satisfying orgasms. The Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration’s pulsating is a lot more pinpoint and seems to come from further away, which makes it less pleasurable to me. The vibrations only slightly make up for that – they increase the pleasure I get out of this toy, and I can even use get off with only the vibrations. But I still prefer many of my other vibrators for good vibrations, and for good pulsating technology, I’ll stick with the Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation, and even the regular Satisfyer Pro Next Generation.

If I were you, I would definitely give the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples a pass – I haven’t seen it work for anyone. The Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit could be worth a try, if your clit is very close to your vaginal opening or if you prefer to be stimulated below your clit. And I would only truly recommend the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration if you don’t need very intense stimulation and like the idea of a two-in-one toy, for financial reasons, for example, which is absolutely a good argument.

Care

All three of these Satisfyer models are pretty easy to clean. Being made from silicone and ABS plastic, they are perfectly body-safe. They are fully waterproof, so you can clean them with soap and water or sanitise them with a 10% bleach solution (rinse well!). The silicone heads are removable, so you can boil those to sterilise them. Never boil the actual toy, though: you’d kill the motor. If you want to give the cavity that contains the membrane some more attention, you can gently clean it with a Q-tip.

Since the heads are made of silicone, you’d best avoid silicone-based lube. Water-based lube works great, though! To learn more about sex toy care, head over to this page.

Purchasing

I’m on the fence about Satisfyer as a company. On the one hand, they shamelessly copied Womanizer’s technology; on the other hand, they made it a lot more affordable, and, as such, accessible to more people. On the one hand, they acknowledge the importance of bloggers; on the other hand, they kind of use us solely as a tool in their marketing offence. On the one hand, they made really bad quality products and used bloggers and clients to figure out which changes they needed to implement, instead of properly testing them beforehand, like they should have; on the other hand, they did end up fixing the issues and making really good, affordable toys. In the end, I love many of their toys, and dislike many of them – a toy’s individual quality matters most to me.

The Satisfyers come in a white cardboard box with a picture of the toy on it. The box is hygienically sealed, which is always reassuring. Inside the box, a plastic mould houses the toy itself as well as the charger. It also includes also a user’s manual. There is no storage bag, though, and the box serves quite badly as a storage option.

You can purchase the new Satisfyer line through the following links:

the Satisfyer Pro 4 Couples at Vibrant for 59.99 dollars/50 euros/45 pounds (use the code PILLOWPRINCESS for 10% off) and at EspacePlaisir for 69.90 euros/83 dollars/62 pounds;

the Satisfyer Pro G-Spot Rabbit at Vibrant for 59.99 dollars/50 euros/45 pounds (use the code PILLOWPRINCESS for 10% off) and at EspacePlaisir for 69.90 euros/83 dollars/62 pounds;

the Satisfyer Pro Plus Vibration at Vibrant for 59.99 dollars/50 euros/45 pounds (use the code PILLOWPRINCESS for 10% off) and at EspacePlaisir for 69.90 euros/83 dollars/62 pounds.

Affiliate links were used in this review.

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Red Alert: a review of the Sportsheets Red Lace Corsette harness and Flare dildo

Strap-on sex is an important feature in my sex life, and I know it is for many others as well. That’s why I’m always looking for strap-on harnesses and dildos to test – particularly easy, good, affordable harness-dildo combinations that I can recommend to you guys. Choosing between the plethora of available harnesses and dildos can be a hard task, so finding an easy matching set can be really reassuring when you’re looking into your first strap-on set.

Sportsheets is one of the brands that help solve this problem. They have designed a wide variety of harnesses, as well as many dildos. I wanted to test the Red Lace Corsette harness, because it’s one of the rare midrange harnesses that isn’t just a set of black straps. Aesthetic is important for many people, and this harness definitely offers aesthetic. And the Flare dildo is a gorgeous sparkly red silicone, which not only matches the harness, but is also a colour I’d like to see more on sex toys in general. Together, they form a pretty strap-on set with a decent price-quality ratio – nothing incredible, but one of the rare options that combine quality, affordability and looks.

Description

The Sportsheets Red Lace Corsette harness is undoubtedly a very feminine harness. If your gender expression is more masculine, you’ll probably want to give this one a pass. Its back- and crotchpiece are made from red synthetic material with a flowery lace pattern imprinted on it. The backpiece is laced up like a corset with a black satiny ribbon. The general effect is a bit tacky, but in the way Barbie toys can be tacky: it’s still pretty and just on the right side of tacky, so you find yourself drawn to it anyway. The straps between the backpiece and the crotchpiece are simple black nylon, covered with padded tubes in the same red material as the back- and crotchpiece.

This harness is quite easily adjustable. It has four strap adjusters on the sides of the backpiece. Two of them help adjust the straps that go around your waist; the other two are for the straps that go between your legs. This harness accommodates people with waists up to 152 cm/60 inches, but Sportsheets also makes this harness in plus-size for people with larger waists, up to 183 cm/72 inches. Swapping out dildos is also quite simple. The Sportsheets Red Lace Corsette harness comes with three O-rings, with a diameter of respectively 1.25 inches/3 cm, 1.5 inches/3.81 cm and 2 inches/5 cm, which can hold quite a range of dildo sizes. The fact that this harness comes with several O-rings is very handy, in my opinion: with other affordable harnesses, you often have to buy your own O-ring set to be able to vary the size of dildo you use. You can change out those O-rings thanks to the pushbuttons that hold them against the crotchpiece.

When it comes to comfort and control, the Sportsheets Red Lace Corsette harness has good aspects and bad aspects. The good aspect is that the backpiece is broad, padded, and has soft material on the inside, which makes it really comfortable, as does the padding on the straps. A broader backpiece also offers more control during thrusting. This harness offers very decent control; nothing like the SpareParts Joque, of course (it seems that harness is truly unparalleled), but very comparable to other harnesses at similar price-points. Obviously, the larger the dildo you use, the harder it will be to thrust naturally, because its weight will pull on the harness more.

The bad aspect is the crotchpiece. It’s simply too small, and it really bothers my girlfriend (who always wears the harness.) No matter if she positions the crotchpiece higher or lower on her pubis, its edges always end up rubbing against her vulva and inner thighs, which gets irritating (literally) really fast. The crotchpiece’s soft material only increases that: it allows the edges to curl very easily, which only increases the friction. Sturdier material would keep the crotchpiece rigid and avoid this situation. I’m not saying this harness is unpleasant to use, and if you don’t wear it for too long, it shouldn’t be a real issue. But my girlfriend still can’t wait to take it off when we’re done, and that’s not exactly a point in its favour. The crotchpiece does have a fabric pocket that can hold a bullet vibrator to provide the wearer with extra stimulation, which is cool.

The Sportsheets Red Lace Corsette harness is machine washable, which is super handy. You don’t have to worry about getting lube or bodily fluids on it, since you can easily dump it into your sink or washing machine to wash it with your other clothes without damaging it. That’s not the case for all midrange harness, so I appreciate this feature.

You could obviously pair this harness with any dildo, but I wanted to test it with a Sportsheets dildo that matches it nicely. It’s nice to have a dildo of the same brand as the harness, so you can buy it from the same place, and having a dildo in the same colour as your harness is always a big plus (or is that just me? I’m very particular about matching, to my girlfriend’s constant amusement.) Sportsheets sadly makes a bunch of porous dildos, so you can’t just buy any Sportsheets dildo and be sure it’s body-safe, but they do make a few silicone dildos. I already tested their tiny Please silicone dildo and the harness that comes with it, but they also make another, bigger silicone dildo: the Flare.

The thing that sold me on the Flare dildo is its colour. It’s a gorgeous pearlescent true red with a pinkish-purplish shimmer to it (though you have to look pretty closely to see the colour of the shimmer; it just looks like a pearlescent, shimmery red.) It’s a small dildo – with its 5.5 inches/14,6 cm of length and 1.25 inches/3.2 cm in diameter, it’s ideal for people who don’t enjoy big penetration. Its shape is less boring than most “beginners’” dildos: instead of being straight, it has a slight curve and a more defined head. Sadly, vaginally, this dildo does nothing for me. It’s too thin for me to really get anything out of it, but that’s not the problem – I own a few dildos of similar girth that I adore. The problem is that despite the head being more defined, it’s not pronounced enough. It should jut out more to really put enough pressure against my G-spot or A-spot. As is, it functions way better as an anal dildo – and I am pretty sure it was designed for that purpose. The Flare’s silicone is rigid with very little squish to it and has a very slick surface. That makes penetration easy and smooth. And since rectums are often narrower than vaginas, that slightly pronounced head does a way better job at stimulating your prostate or perineal sponge. That being said, the Flare could also work great for people who don’t enjoy big things in their vaginas or prefer gentle G-spot/A-spot stimulation.

There’s nothing mind-blowing or revolutionary about the Red Lace Corsette-Flare combination, but it’s a decent option nonetheless. Both the harness and the dildo are of good quality, feel nice, and have practical advantages. Together, they cost just under a hundred bucks, which is a fair price, in my opinion. I’d particularly recommend this strap-on set if you’ve been looking for a pretty, feminine harness and a pretty, not-too-straight dildo for butt play or vaginal play with someone who doesn’t like big penetration or intense stimulation.

Care

Since the Red Lace Corsette Harness is machine washable, you can simply wash it with the rest of your clothes – water or detergents won’t harm it. You might want to put it in one of those bra-washing net bags to make sure the buckles won’t damage your machine, but since they’re plastic and your machine is metal, there’s no real risk of that happening. If you wash your clothes by hand, you can obviously just wash this harness in the same way.

The Flare dildo is made from silicone, so you shouldn’t use it with silicone-based lube – that could damage your toy. Use water-based lube instead. Washing your dildo is very easy: just use soap and water, that’ll do the trick. You could also sanitise it with a 10% bleach solution or by boiling it for a few minutes. To read more about sex toy care, head over to this page.

Purchasing

Sportsheets mostly makes kinky equipment (cuffs, bondage harnesses, restraint sets, and the likes), but they also make quite a few strap-on harnesses and have a small line of dildos. Their insertables aren’t all body-safe, and their marketing is super cisheterocentric, but they do offer many good products at a reasonable price point. As long as you avoid their non-body-safe insertable toys, you’re not taking much of a risk by purchasing one of their products.

These products were very kindly sent to me by Rue Des Plaisirs, a French sex toy store. I like to partner with European stores when I can, because I know how hard it can be to buy certain toys in Europe. Rue Des Plaisirs has quite an extensive stock, which sadly does include non-body-safe toys, but which also means they’re a good place to get your hands on toys that may be hard to find elsewhere in Europe, and particularly in France.

The box the Red Lace Corsette Harness set comes in is not very discreet: it features a naked, harnessed butt. Not something you’ll want to keep for storage, probably. The Flare dildo comes in a more nudity-free box, but I also wouldn’t use the box for storage – Sportsheets’ boxes are not particularly sturdy or pretty. Obviously, Rue Des Plaisirs will send you your order in a plain, discreet box.

You can purchase the Sportsheets Red Lace Corsette Harness from Rue Des Plaisirs for 45,90 euros/40 pounds/55 dollars and the Flare dildo for 49,90 euros/45 pounds/60 dollars, for a grand total of 95,80 euros/85 pounds/115 dollars.

Affiliate links were used in this review.

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Tango in sync: a review of the We-Vibe Anniversary Collection

I’ve reviewed both the We-Vibe Tango and the We-Vibe Sync already – I adored the former, and the latter didn’t work for me. Both are We-Vibe’s absolute bestsellers, so to celebrate their tenth anniversary, they brought out a box that features both of those toys together. This collection doesn’t only feature new and improved versions of the Tango and the Sync; it also costs a lot less than you’d pay if you bought both of them separately.

The improvements made to the Sync don’t make it work any better for me, but that’s because vibrations alone are not enough for me – I also need pressure or movement, which the Sync can’t provide. However, We-Vibe did fix the Tango’s three biggest flaws, and I am over the moon about it. Given the price difference, if you’ve been eyeing the Sync and the Tango, this collection is definitely your best bet.

Description

Right off the bat: We-Vibe changed their toys’ colours. They’re purple now. Granted, it’s shiny, slightly sparkly royal-blue-leaning purple, but it’s still purple. Sad times. On the other hand, the new Tango lives in my bed now, so if I can forgive a toy for being purple, it means it’s pretty phenomenal.

Second big change: the charging case. The Sync already came with its charging/storage case, and I was really impressed by that system. You put the toy in the charging case, plug the cable into the case on one end and a USB port on the other, and your toy charges that way. It makes charging and storage easy and discreet, makes for a handy travel case, and feels a lot more hygienic than my toys just hanging out on the floor while they charge. The Anniversary Collection’s case is even better than the regular Sync’s case, though. It perfectly holds two toys, instead of just one, and charges them at the same time. It’s also better designed: it holds the toys horizontally rather than vertically, which charges them more securely and also makes the case flatter and easier to store.

But enough about the practicalities: the quality of the toys themselves is the most important part.

The Sync is pretty. I have to give it that. Sure, it’s purple, but it’s a glimmery, blue-ish lilac – still not my favourite colour, but undoubtedly ten times better than my old enemy Sad Purple. I’m really glad to see We-Vibe venturing into shiny toys; maybe we’ll even see glitter on toys that aren’t pink or purple in the future.

Like the regular Sync, the Sync in the Anniversary Collection is an articulated couples’ toy that allows you to position both the clitoral and internal part exactly to your liking. That way, it provides you with hands-free clitoral stimulation (and bonus internal vibration) during penetration. It’s generally marketed towards cishet couples, but it works for any type of vaginal penetration. I’ve tried it with dildos, during strap-on sex and during penetrative masturbation. The Anniversary Sync doesn’t fix the main problem with that: silicone-on-silicone friction causes a god-awful squeaking sound that can kind of ruin the mood. Lots of lube is needed to avoid that. However, contrarily to popular belief, silicone-silicone contact will not harm your toys, so there is no need to worry about that!

In my previous review of the Sync, I said that the articulated part of the Sync felt a bit stiff. It clicked when positioning it, which made me worry a bit about breaking it – not a real concern, I’m sure, but psychologically a bit unpleasant – and made the silicone fold weirdly when bending it into certain positions. The Anniversary Sync has completely gotten rid of that issue: articulating it goes easily and smoothly, and it even seems to be just a tiny bit more flexible than its predecessor. I appreciate that: it’s a testament to the fact that We-Vibe keeps trying to improve products that are already good.

Sadly, that improvement doesn’t make the Sync work any better for me. My problem is that vibrators change up my sexual experiences, and can even improve them, but vibrations alone just don’t get me off. I need to really press the vibe against my clit, or move the vibe on or around my clit. A vibrator just resting on my clit will turn me on, sure, but it will not get me off. To test this theory, I tried to just rest the Tango against my clit, and even that doesn’t work, which convinces me that it’s not due to the Sync’s vibrations, but to my preferences. The problem is that the Sync, by definition, is supposed to just be placed against your clit and left alone. And that simply doesn’t work for me, no matter how good the toy is. If I press my fingers against it, I’m able to get off pretty easily, but that defeats the purpose of a hands-free vibrator. If you know you can get off by just placing a vibrator onto your clit, and you’re interested in a couples’ toy, the Sync is a really good choice. It just doesn’t work for me.

The Tango, though. Oh, the Tango. I love it so much. I love it even though it’s purple – and, unlike the Sync, suspiciously close to Sad Purple. And I love the Anniversary Sync even more than the regular one. We-Vibe took all the complaints about the Tango and solved every single one of them, making this toy into something that truly approaches perfection.

The vibrations are the same: deep, rumbly, as powerful as vibrations can get without reaching for a wand vibrator. The Tango has eight settings: four steady speeds, and four patterns. Four patterns is little enough that they only include the ones I, not being a big fan of patterns, might actually use. The steady strengths range from “oh wow” to “wow!” to “wOW!” to “WHOA!” (I know, I’m so very eloquent.) If you’re very sensitive, the first setting might even be a bit too much for you, but I don’t think the risk is that big. I love the Tango’s powerful rumbliness: it penetrates through-out my entire clit, internal parts included, and gives me really satisfying orgasms almost without fail and without numbing my clit or over-stimulating it during orgasm. Powerful as they are, the Tango’s vibrations (like the Sync’s) are not too loud at all – on the lower settings, they can’t be heard through a blanket, and on the higher ones, they can’t be heard through a door.

The shape is also still the same: a classic bullet shape with a tip that flattens off on one side so you can switch between pinpoint stimulation and slightly broader coverage, comparable to the pad of a finger. The Tango is thin enough to fit into all dildos with bullet holes, and since its vibrations are strong enough to easily travel through silicone, it’s a really cool addition to penetration with a dildo. Depending on how deep the bullet hole is, though, the Tango might poke out too much to be easy to use during strap-on sex.

That’s for what stayed the same. But what’s truly interesting is what changed. And everything that changed is an improvement.

The first improvement seems minimal, but makes me really happy. The old Tango had a small button on its base, in the middle on the silicone cover. You had to push that button to cycle through the vibration settings. It’s a classic control for bullet vibes, but the new controls are so much better: instead of a tiny button, you can now cycle through the vibrations by clicking the whole base. Yup! The whole base is a button now! That’s so cool, because tiny buttons can be really inaccessible for people who have disabilities in their hands, and We-Vibe just solved that problem. It’s also just so much easier to operate with lube-slick fingers. I’m really glad that such a good toy just became more accessible.

The second improvement is related to the charging case. The old Tango struggled with charging problems: its charger disconnected really easily, which was very annoying and could lead to the Tango not being charged properly. The charging case solves that problem: it features an indent in which the Tango fits perfectly and that connects with its magnetic charging base. It’s the same type of magnetic charging system as the old Tango (which means it’s also waterproof), but it connects much more securely. Since the base is now fully hidden during charging, the charging light is now on the side of the Tango, so you can easily see when your Tango is done charging.

And then the third improvement. The third improvement is a real game-changer. The Tango’s one huge, glaring flaw was its battery life. Half an hour, more or less – barely enough for one use (if you don’t just stick to quicky orgasms.) That’s between two and four times less use out of one charge than most vibrators with a comparable price point. The Tango would die on me mid-session, and if I’d forgotten to charge it after last time, I’d barely get to start a session. I even kind of suspected We-Vibe of doing it on purpose: the Tango is so good that many people buy a second one just to always have a charged Tango on hand. Given this toy’s price-point, that’s a lot of extra money in We-Vibe’s pockets. Well, I was wrong! And my Hermione-like self has rarely been happier to be wrong! The Anniversary Tango has a battery life of over an hour on the high settings. I tested it several times, because I couldn’t believe that it hadn’t died on me yet the first three times I used it. One charge lasts so much longer, and with that simple change, the Tango – which was already a phenomenal toy – has come very close to reaching sex toy Nirvana. I really, really hope they release it as a stand-alone toy, so everyone can get their hands on it without having to buy the whole Anniversary Collection, since the Collection is pricey as hell.

Next to the Tango and the Sync, there’s a third element in the charging case: a remote control. It only serves for the Sync; the Tango can only be controlled by hand. For the Sync, however, you can choose between three ways of controlling it. The regular way, of course, with + and – buttons and a middle button that cycles through the patterns. There’s also the remote, that you can pair with the Sync by pressing the middle button for five seconds. It has a range of three meters, and has an easy control panel with four arrows on it: up and down control the strength, and left and right control the patterns. I really like the remote, because it’s by far the easiest way to control the Sync while fucking. No need to fumble for the toy’s control in between your bodies: you can control it yourself, or hand it over to your partner. It’s also easier while masturbating, since you can thrust your dildo with one hand and leave the other hand by your side, holding the remote. The third option is the We-Connect app. It is available on any Android or IOS device, and it serves as another remote for your vibrator. Like with the remote, if you press the middle button for five seconds, the Sync will pulse, and you will be able to pair it with your phone. From there, you can pick patterns and strengths or even draw your own. The biggest reason to use this app, for me, is the “Connect Lover” feature. It allows you to invite another person, who also has the app installed, to control your vibrator from the other side of the bed or the other side of the globe. Since I am in a long-distance relationship, this is very useful for me – and, given its shape, the Sync can even be used as a wearable vibrator for some kinkier fun.

I’m mightily impressed by We-Vibe’s Anniversary Collection. I would definitely recommend it for anyone who’s looking for a really good bullet vibrator and couples’ vibrator. Personally, I don’t really need the Sync if I have the Tango, but not everyone will agree with me, so if you still want a couples’ vibe, I’d definitely recommend the Anniversary Collection. It’s expensive as hell, though – 229 dollars/229 euros – so it’s quite the investment. To be fair, the Sync alone costs 200 dollars/200 euros, so you get the Tango extra for less than half its retail price. Still, I hope the new Tango will become available separately very soon, because that will really be worth its price. The Anniversary Collection is worth its price, sure, but what does “worth” mean when no one can afford it – and I don’t know how many people can afford this.

Care

The included charging case works perfectly for storage, and is also handy during travel. It protects your toys from dirt and bumps, and stops them from turning on of their own volition.

The We-Vibe Sync is made from velvety, body-safe silicone. This means it is incompatible with silicone-based lubes. Avoid those, as well as pre-lubed condoms. (This could be very important info if you’re using this toy with someone who has a penis! You never know if some lube could trickle out of the condom.) Water-based lube is great, however. The Tango is made from ABS plastic, which is technically compatible with every kind of lube, but the bottom part (with the button) is silicone, so silicone-based lube could get onto that part and damage it.

Being waterproof, both the Sync and the Tango are really easy to clean. Soap and water will do perfectly. You can also use a 10% bleach solution (rinse well!). Never boil vibrators: motors really don’t like that. If you want to learn more about sex toy care, head over to this page.

Purchasing

We-Vibe is a great company. They make only really powerful, body-safe vibrators. They’re very expensive, but their price/quality ratio is generally worth it. They’re quite inclusive and definitely ethical, and their European marketing manager is a delight to communicate with.

The We-Vibe Anniversary Collection is shipped with the charging case containing the Sync, the Tango and the remote control, a charging cable, and a user’s manual. I got it in a huge We-Vibe box (way too big for the charging case) but I am pretty sure that’s because I got it directly from We-Vibe, as a reviewer. Your product will be shipped discreetly and, I hope, in a less gigantic package.

You can purchase the We-Vibe Anniversary Collection from Vibrant (US) for 229 dollars/170 pounds/193 euros (save 10% with the code PILLOWPRINCESS) and from Willie (NL) for 200 euros/175 pounds/230 dollars.

Affiliate links were used in this review.

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Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea: a review of the Petit Vice Tanaka dildo

I don’t like realistic dildos; I don’t like fantasy creature-inspired dildos; with my love for regular, non-representational dildos, I don’t have a lot of originality to offer outside of colour. But recently, I’ve discovered an interest for a particular subset of fantasy dildos: robot dildos! My girlfriend adores robots, and while neither of us gets off on the idea of robot fucking, we are incredibly enthusiastic about cool robot dildo designs. Turns out I just have an issue with anything representing organic body parts, and robots are as inorganic as it gets.

I’m also always looking for European sex toy makers, particularly indie manufacturers, since they’re all too rare outside of America. Well, I lucked out: I discovered Petit Vice, a French indie manufacturer that makes a bunch of really cool designs and even writes stories for each design! My favourite design of theirs was the steampunk Tanaka dildo, and they were kind enough to send it to me for review.

Description

The Petit Vice Tanaka dildo looks amazing. It has an incredibly cool Jules-Verne-y look that very much reminds me of the piping on a steampunk submarine. It is the most delicately and masterfully detailed dildo I have ever gotten my hands on. The grooves, the pipes, the screws – they’re all perfectly proportionate and perfectly combine form and function, since on top of looking beautiful, they make for lovely, original texture in use. And the dials and gauges! You can see and feel each individual needle and dot – I am honestly beyond impressed by the effort and talent that has gone into making this dildo.

I love the bronze colour my Tanaka came in – it adds so much to the steampunk aesthetic, and it’s also just gorgeous. It is the most expensive colour this model comes in, however. You can save 12 euros/10 pounds/15 dollars by choosing another colour (but I do think the colour is a big part of what makes this dildo so cool.)

The Tanaka is one of Petit Vice’s smaller models – which is great for me, because I’m not enough of a size queen to enjoy a lot of indie makers’ models. I love the design of Petit Vice’s Angus, for example, but there’s no way I could ever get it inside my vagina. The Tanaka is more up to my speed: 4 cm/1.6 inches in diameter, with an insertable length of 16 cm/6.3 inches (and a full length of 22 cm/8.7 inches.) That’s my favourite diameter for a dildo, at the moment, and while the length is a bit more than I’d prefer, the Tanaka is not harness compatible, so it doesn’t matter – dildos are easier to control by hand than in a harness and there’s not risk of it bashing me in the cervix.

Like most indie manufacturers, Petit Vice offers all their models in different silicone densities. There are three: soft, medium, and hard. As explained in Petit Vice’s handy “How to choose” page, the soft density feels like a relaxed muscle: very floppy and squishable. The hard density is more comparable to other, non-indie dildos, or to an erect penis. I picked the medium firmness (comparable to a flexed muscle) for my Tanaka, and I’ve very glad I did. It is floppy enough to wav around enthusiastically (which is an important quality for a dildo, in my book) and squishable enough that squeezing it is very fun and that the texture on the shaft is not overwhelming. But it is also firm enough to stay upright, and the texture very much remains noticeable. Perfect middle way, in my opinion!

I was a tiny bit concerned about how this toy would feel in use, since except for its really cool detailed design, it’s basically just a straight rod. And I don’t enjoy straight rods very much. But I was really pleasantly surprised, for two reasons.

The first reason is the texture. The biggest and most detailed texture is obviously around the base, but that’s meant to serve as a handle, not to be inserted (that being said, I’d recommend against using the Tanaka anally – that base is not big enough to guarantee that it won’t get sucked up into your butt.) But there is light texture all along the shaft too: the grooves and plating and screws on the “pipe.” And those feel great in use. They add a little something to a penetration that would otherwise be perfectly smooth, without ever becoming too much.

The second reason is my favourite, and surprised me the most. The Tanaka’s tip is atypically flat; it is a bit rounded off, of course, but it very much looks like the top of a cylinder. That does make insertion harder (there’s nothing gradual about it), but it also makes the Tanaka an excellent A-spotter. I know, I’m as surprised as you are! Turns out the rounded edge of that tip fits perfectly against my A-spot. I can basically just put the Tanaka all the way inside me, with that edge against my A-spot, thrust it with tiny movements (almost just squishing the silicone together), and have my eyes roll back into my head in pleasure within less than a minute. I’d never have expected this type of stimulation from this shape of dildo, and I’m so happily surprised it delivers so well. You can, of course, also use longer thrusts to enjoy both the texture and the A-spotting, because small thrusts obviously don’t do a lot for the textured feeling.

I really love the Tanaka. It’s aesthetic is gorgeous and original, it is impressively crafted, and it feels great due to both its texture and its A-spotting talents. It’s not cheap by any means, but in my opinion, the work that must have gone into that incredible detailing very much justifies its price. If the Tanaka looks like something you’d enjoy, I can only recommend it.

Care

The Petit Vice Tanaka is made from body-safe silicone, so you should avoid using silicone-based lube or pre-lubricated condoms. All water-based lubes should work perfectly.

You can clean the Tanaka with soap and water or with a toy cleaner. You can also sanitise it with a 10% bleach solution (rinse well!) or by boiling it for about ten minutes. Take particular care with the grooves and details; if any lube or bodily fluids get trapped in there, you can very gently scrub them out with a very soft old toothbrush. If you want to learn more about sex toy care, head over to this page.

Purchasing

I’m really happy to have discovered Petit Vice. The effort that goes into their toys, their marketing, the stories and artwork around every single one of their models (all written and drawn by the manufacturer!) – it’s all so impressive and cool! They also use very inclusive language on their website, and explicitly focus on respect and consent. And all their models are so cool, from robots to aliens to tentacles to lightsabers. I’m so happy to have found such a great sci-fi indie manufacturer in Europe, and I’m very happy to recommend Petit Vice.

Your Petit Vice dildo will be shipped in a simple cardboard box, without any superfluous packaging. I got a bunch of really pretty promo cards for their other models too, as well as a branded storage bag. That storage bag is even included with your purchase, and you could also buy an extra one for 8 euros – not cheap, but the bag is big enough to house several toys.

You can buy the Tanaka at Petit Vice for 76 euros/66 pounds/94 dollars in bronze and for 64 euros/55 pounds/80 dollars in several other colours.

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You give me the whole damn zoo: a review of the IMTOY Giraffe vibrator

I love giraffes. I’ve loved them ever since I was really, really small. I also love a good, versatile G-spot vibrator. So when IMTOY contacted me about reviewing one of their toys, the choice was a no-brainer: it had to be the Giraffe from their Zoo collection.

The Giraffe is the very definition of a luxury toy. Millennial pink, metallic accents, quirky theme, fancy box, high price-point – it even has a matching charger, for god’s sake! The thing is, it’s also luxury because it’s really goddamn good. And that’s why I like it. A lot.

Description

IMTOY’s most fun and most original line of toys is without a doubt the Zoo collection. They made several types of toys named after animals, all in the same millennial pink, but obviously in different shapes. I picked the Giraffe to review, because I think a good G-spot vibrator can be a fantastic investment: if it’s versatile enough to use both vaginally and clitorally, it can spare you from having to spend twice the money on two separate vibrators, which you might not be able to afford. I’m happy to say the Giraffe absolutely lives up to my expectations.

First, you get the Giraffe in your mailbox and you open the shipping package. This is where the delight already starts. The Giraffe comes in a gorgeous, sturdy, light pink box with a very pretty illustration of a giraffe on it. I adore giraffes, which is reason enough to keep this box forever (which I don’t usually do with the boxes my toys come in). The giraffe is not the only reason, though: the box is genuinely beautiful as a whole, very sturdy, and quite handy, with its small ribbon tab to make opening it easy.  To open the box, you pull that tab, and the grey inner box slides out of its sleeve. Inside, you’ll find a plastic mould containing the Giraffe and its matching charger. My one regret is that this box doesn’t also include a storage pouch, for travel and for people who don’t have the room to keep the box.

The first thing I noticed when I took the Giraffe out of its box was that it was much smaller than I expected. It has a total length of only 6.3 inches/16 cm – which means less than 5 inches/12,7 cm are actually insertable – and a diameter of 1.1 inches/2,8 cm. That makes it about as long as my hand, and thinner than two of my fingers. The second obvious aspect is obviously the Giraffe’s colour. “Millennial pink” really is the best way to describe it. Down to its metallic pink base, this toy makes me think of masturbating in a sunlit bedroom invaded by succulents while a Lana Del Rey vinyl plays softly on a thrifted record player. Which, I mean, Lana Del Rey is my girlfriend and I’s most used sex music, so I’m down for that. The Giraffe’s silicone covering is velvety smooth and not the slightest bit tacky, which only adds to the feel of luxury.

Before you get to use the Giraffe, you need to give it a charge. This is when IMTOY’s commitment to the aesthetic becomes slightly ridiculous, but simultaneously impressive (I can appreciate good matching.) The charger matches the toy. It’s the exact same shade of pink, and the magnetic part that clicks against the Giraffe’s base even has the same metallic covering. Aesthetics aside, charging is pretty easy: it’s a simple magnetic charger, and you can plug the other side into any USB port. The Giraffe charges fully in a couple of hours, and will last around an hour on one charge.

Once the Giraffe is charged, you finally get to use it! To be quite frank, I was a bit worried that the Giraffe would be all looks and no substance. But I was proven wrong! IMTOY clearly put as much effort into their toys’ vibrations as into their aesthetic. To be fair, the quality of the vibrations doesn’t stand out from the sex toy crowd as much as the quality of the design does. But they’re still very good: on par with other luxury brands such as L’Amourose and Lelo, in my opinion. The Giraffe’s vibrations strike a good medium between buzzy and rumbly, which means they should be enjoyable for most people. They get me off easily, reliably and satisfyingly. The Giraffe has an impressive sixteen settings, three of which are steady speeds, and the rest are patterns. Some of those patterns are good, but honestly, if you put thirteen patterns on a toy, you’re bound to end up with some weird ones too, and that is absolutely the case here.

The Giraffe’s first disadvantage becomes apparent while cycling through those vibrations: the Giraffe only has one button. It automatically travel locks when you turn it off, which is quite handy – you need to press it for a long time, until it emits a short buzz, and then a short press will turn it on for real. However, you need to press that single, lonely button sixteen times to cycle through all the patterns – including in those highly frustrating moments where you accidentally click one time too many and have to cycle allll the way back to your preferred setting. This is common in bullet vibrators, because of there small size, but there is absolutely room for two buttons on the Giraffe. If you want real convenience, you almost have to use the Zoo app (more on that in a bit.)

Let’s get back to this toy’s size for a moment. I really like this aspect, because it makes the Giraffe an excellent vibrator for people who aren’t very enthusiastic about large sizes. It also makes it very versatile – its small size makes it very easy to use the Giraffe clitorally without it ever feeling awkward or bulky. Its shape only adds to that comfort and versatility: the Giraffe’s shaft is curved, but not extremely so. That makes it ergonomic when used clitorally, and allows for more or less pressure vaginally, depending on your preferences. The curved tip can just lightly rest against your G-spot if you prefer gentle stimulation, or you can rock it back and forth if you prefer more pressure. I have never come purely vaginally, but I love using this toy internally combined with a good clit vibe or my fingers on my clit. Clitorally, it’s also a really convenient toy to reach for when I want low-effort, satisfying but not overwhelming orgasms.

As I mentioned above, IMTOY have created a Zoo app. This app makes your phone connect with any Zoo toy over Bluetooth and transforms your phone into a remote for your toy. This app has good aspects and bad aspects. The good are that the connection is really good, that it gives you easy access to all sixteen patterns in one convenient grid, and that you can easily draw your own pattern. The bad is… all the rest, to be quite honest. Unlike WeVibe’s app, it is impossible to connect two phones together. My excitement for vibrator-compatible phone apps only sterns from the fact that I’m in a long distance relationship. If the Giraffe can only be controlled by someone who is in the same room as me, that lessens its appeal considerably.

The Zoo app’s second flaw is that its “music” and “video” function do not deliver at all. The principle of these functions is that you can upload music and videos to your Zoo app, and the app will read the sound’s beat and volume and adjust the vibrations accordingly. Except it really doesn’t. I tried it with Janelle Monáe’s Make Me Feel and… Pynk, obviously, and the vibrations rarely followed anything, and when they did, it was with two seconds of lag. Not worth it, at all. The app also makes it possible to control the Giraffe with your voice (which creates interesting kinky opportunities for feedback loops with moans and the likes) and by shaking your phone. Yup. Imagine me, the Giraffe between my thighs, frantically shaking my phone in my right hand to make my toy vibrate. Unless you’re into kinky exercise or want to strap your phone to someone’s wrist while they’re wanking, I dooon’t really see the point of this. But, with this as with the voice control function, the app does actually succeed quite well at translating sound and movement into vibrations.

My last gripe with the app seems relatively minor but is actually my biggest issue with it. For some reason, the Giraffe pauses for a fraction of a second every three seconds when using it with the app. No matter which setting it is on, custom or not, the Giraffe will happily vibrate along for one Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi – and then it will falter for about one Miss before starting again. It’s annoying. It gets in the way of my orgasms’ build-up. It makes it harder to get off. I don’t like it, and I don’t understand why it happens with the app when that’s never an issue without it.

Those complaints aside, I think the Giraffe is actually a really good toy. It’s beautiful, great quality, versatile, and gives me very good orgasms. At 79 dollars/66 euros/58 pounds, it is by no means cheap, but it is slightly more affordable than most other good, versatile G-spot vibrators. It is the perfect choice for people who want to invest in a good vibrator that can serve many uses without having to splurge over a hundred bucks. I would particularly recommend it to beginners or to people who don’t enjoy girthy penetration.

Care

Being covered in silicone (the core is ABS plastic), the Giraffe is not compatible with silicone-based lubes. Stick to water-based lubes instead. The Giraffe is fully waterproof, so it is very easy to clean: washing it with soap and water does the trick, and if you want to sanitise it, you can use a 10% bleach solution (rinse well afterwards!) If you want to read more about sex toy care, head over to this page.

Purchasing

IMTOY is quite a cool company. They make only body-safe toys and manage to put creative twists on classic designs. They’re not overly cishetcentric in their marketing, which I always appreciate. Their toys are good quality and come with a one year quality. The one thing I particularly like about IMTOY is that part of the proceeds of the Zoo collection go to the Endangered Wildlife Trust. I am always here for companies that partner with charities, and I appreciate the fact that a sex toy company cares about animals and the environment.

The Giraffe will be shipped in a discreet shipping package, containing the fancy box I described above, with a user’s manual and a charger. No storage bag, like I said, but if you have the room, I would totally keep the box for storage – it’s just so beautiful! IMTOY offers free international delivery to North America, Australia, New Zealand, the EU (including the UK), South Africa, China, Hong Kong and Singapore. For the rest of the world, the flat rate is 10 dollars/8,5 euros/7.5 pounds.

You can purchase the Giraffe directly from IMTOY for 79 dollars/66 euros/58 pounds.

Affiliate links were used in this review.

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