So on @zarinosa 's stream, chat went a little nuts. Two chat members, Pink Boba and Another Existing Being, started anime fighting in the chat.
And then I decided to make it into a short fic because why not.
I promise we'll get back to our regular angst shortly xDD The next idea I have should be fun.
@autisticrandomart and another person I can't remember the tag for were also there, sorry but I'm tired. XD
Anyway enjoy this unedited chaos.
It starts with a single slap in a normal Starbucks.
“Boba. Your simping needs to stop,” Aeb stares the sentient drink in its nebulous orbs. “Mei won’t love you back.”
“I am a highly recommended bubble drink. I’ll do what I want.” Boba stirs itself, pompously.
“You ‘boutta be highly recommended to a hospital.”
“How. Dare. Youuuuuuu!” The battle shriek rings across the Starbucks, the city, the world. The colored tea bursts from the plastic cup, infinitely spilling forth to form a mighty body. He tries to punch Aeb. His fist slams into Aeb’s waiting palm.
“I dare, you strawless bitch!” The gray figure smirks.
“Strawless—? I have the hardest straw in the cup city!” Boba shrieks. Then pauses. The bubbles within its mass jiggle. “...That didn’t come out right.”
“Ha!” Sure of its victory, the grey figure takes a step back and folds its arms. “I win this time!”
“No….” Boba stares at the ground. Tea drips from its vague arms. “Never. I’ll shoot you with my boba balls!”
“Ohohoho. I don’t think you quite understand….” Aeb chuckled. “I AM THE MULTIVERSE!” From nowhere, epic music begins to play. The ground shakes under Aeb’s feet.
“I am….” Boba laughs. Its bubbles crack open to reveal a multitude of eyes that would rival a biblical angel. All the eyes begin to glow. “EYES OF HEAVEN!” Brilliant light bursts out of Boba’s eyes. It’s a disco ball of destruction. Earth explodes…. The two beings float in space. The moon orbits them. Creation warps around them. And yet Aeb simply laughs. Because for a moment? All is quiet. Boba’s cup floats in space, its spilled tea a floating mess amongst the stars.
“I spent the last ten years doing writing as a hobby. I learned the ways of RP Fighting and overall god-like power…. You have been defeated since the start!” The stars blur. The moon crushes into powder. The black of space warps into streaks of color, all circling around this one point of true chaos. But then… a voice erupts from the tea. It isn’t dead; it never was….
“I have spent the last fifty years learning the art of boba….” The cup begins to twirl, righting itself in the directionless void of space. Bodiless laughter echoes throughout reality. “How could I be defeated so fast?” Reality warps for one purpose: to make the ultimate Starbucks drink.
The blackness of space: the tea.
The remnants of moons: the sugar.
The stars themselves: the boba.
Its old cup crushes into plastic, then atoms, and the remnants explode. For Boba no longer needs such a pitiful vessel…. Its new cup is the confines of the universe itself. The tea can no longer be spilled. Everything. Is. Tea. Boba cackles, and its voice rings across its new, infinite form. “I am THE recommended beverage!!” The tea-niverse surges forth, converging on Aeb. “I will defeat you, and nothing shall remain!! DROWN IN MY TEA!”
The universal tea begins to boil Aeb alive….
But it’s Aeb’s turn to laugh. “I always come back. Because I got my own back, Sucka!!” With a snap of its fingers, the universe cracks like an egg. Light spills out. The multiverse shines beyond what was once our existence. Multiple Aebs, in all shapes, colors, and sizes burst from the various entrances to other universes. It is an entire army versus a galaxy cup… that giggles maniacally.
“As I said, nothing shall remain, not even the multiverses!” The tea cackles as it consumes infinity. The multiverse becomes its bobas…. Nothing is safe. The cup expands.
“I don’t breathe, you can’t drown me!” Aeb and its alternates scoff in unison. It’s a discordant choir against the boba void that is all existences that ever were….. But the invincible army stands strong against the infinite tide. Every molecule is tea. Every atom is tea. It’s. All. Tea. Everything goes white….
Distantly, there’s an echo of, “YOU DO NOT BREATHE, BUT YOU DO NOT HAVE PROTECTION FROM MY BOBA!” The alternates become bobas. But the original stands strong…. Maybe there’s a response from Aeb. We’ll never know. The two combatants stand before each other, as existence restarts. The force of their fight creates the next Big Bang. The universes restart….
And the fight between Aeb and Boba continues on into eternity.
An apocalyptic Starbucks argument that that happens every millenia for us… but every second for them.
romaincrisis
gummygunk
snowghoul
germansingergirl
izzy806
tangentwithtanner
pixelskylines
