There have been many things that have changed in my life since I was at a young age I am now 25 years old and at the time I wrote my first what was the worst thing that has ever happened to you I was like maybe 17 teen years old. It’s been a while and a lot has changed and many things are different now and well here it goes. One of the worst days of my life was when I found out that my grandpa was sick he had to go to the hospital cause he wasn’t feeling well see he has been in the hospital before so I figured they would find out what was wrong with him and then send him home like they did the last two times he was in the hospital but no this time was way different. We ended up finding out that he had cancer and not just any cancer blood cancer and we all never even knew he had cancer cause my grandfather was a very independent person and never wanted anyone’s help. He was dying and there was nothing that the doctors could do to save him at this point he stopped being able to talk and breathe on his own and they had to put him on a ventilator. He was no longer him he couldn’t speak, and he was just laying there in that hospital bed fighting for his life and then there came a point where all his organs where failing, and the nurse told us the only thing that was keeping him alive was the ventilator that was helping him to breathe. Then at one point I think he just gave up and didn’t want to live like this anymore and have a tube in him to where he couldn’t talk, laugh, tell stories, cook or go to otb or do the things that he wanted to do anymore oh I also forgot taking care of my grandma his wife cause she has Alzheimer’s. He didn’t want to be in that bed for the rest of his life so then one day we got the call that said he had a heart attack in the middle of the night and that he is no longer with us and at that point I thought they where kidding like this cant be happening he cant be gone not yet this is not fair this is to soon. Plus, my mom and uncles where supposed to decide together weather to take him off the ventilator or not before he had the heart attack, but I guess that my grandfather new that he didn’t want to leave that burden on there shoulder to take him off it, so he decided to go peacefully on his own. The reason why this is the worst day of my life is because when he was still up and awake and talking and alert I should of went to the hospital to go see him when he was awake and him. But I didn’t because I couldn’t bear to see him in the hospital that way and I regret it every day of my life. I did end up going to see him in the hospital but when he was hooked up to the tube and I said my goodbyes and I told him how much I love him and that no one could ever replace him not ever. This day changed my life because I no longer have him here no longer get to go visit him or hear stories about how he came here from Italy or just random stuff. No more going to his house on holidays and walking through there front door and smelling the food cooking that we were about to eat or the homemade wine. Never again to hear his voice or his laugh or see him smile don’t get me wrong I have many pictures and memories but those are not the same as him being here. Knowing that everything is different now and that he is no longer here to hold this family together and it sucks but I know that god had a different plan for him and that he needed him more then we did right now. I feel like that he is at peace now and that he is no longer in pain and suffering and that he is up in heaven with his parents and all the other family members that we have lost along the way. I know that he is happy even though he is not here with us, but I know that he is watching over me and are family and I know he is there with me when I need him the most. But I know that this is never goodbye that its ill see you later until we meet again.
pixelskylines
areudirty
gummygunk
titsay
