PioneerMeh @pioneerman - Tumblr Blog

My friend said breakups make you hot and I’m holding on to that

good neighbor

“I know how this sounds, but like, I’d heard about ‘the second hole’ or whatever, but that’s literally the first time I’ve actually felt it. Like, now I know what it is, that was crazy.”

He was cute. And tall. Tall enough that kissing was a little awkward. He was all torso, just miles of lean stomach and chest, soft and supple to the touch.

You’re a young person aren’t you, I asked.

He actually was older than he looked. 32. A great age. He also told me he had just started a guy who he met back in his hometown of Montreal. “Fuck it though, I’m never moving back.”

I told him he might. “Love is crazy,” he said. “But when do you know if it’s enough?” I told him about Matt and Colorado. “We were young and in love and I swear, in another lifetime we’re still in Colorado, married, and with a family.” I really believe that. “You’re young, why not take the chance?”

We talked a little bit about New York, how it’s great, but not that great, and how I’m leaving soon.

“But you’re my neighbor!”

For at least the next three months. “Ok good, then we still have time for you to fuck me some more.”

nociceptrix-deactivated20241108

it's beginning to suck a lot like penis

I put my fingers inside of him and then put them in his mouth.

"It's sweet," he says.

I kiss him to see if he's telling the truth.

"It tastes like you and me."

I think of him.

A lot. An embarrassing amount actually. I can’t wash the dishes and not think of him. I was always so bad at washing the dishes. I was just making a salad and thought “fuck, I eat salads now because of him.” I’ll go see a show and he’s the first person I want to tell about it. He’s everywhere and all over me and inside me and a part of me and it’s fucking unbearable.

My phone is a dumpster fire of pictures of us together. I keep thinking “should I delete these pictures?” But I don’t want to forget. Us, I guess. How happy we were. Us trying. Us being. How do you just delete that?

Even being a slut isn’t working too well as a distraction anymore. A nice guy was in my bed the other night and I was thinking of him. He was nice. We were nice. What happened?

I want him to see my apartment, how nice it is. I think he’d like it here. He saw it a while ago, when I thought we were friends, but it wasn’t as nice then. I was still putting it (and myself) together. It’s a home now. That keeps fucking reminding me of him.

#stories #ex boyfriend #breakups

Fruitcake 🎄🍰

#me #christmas #gay

Me too

#me #gay #idiot

octoberloved

I can’t be friends with my ex.

It honestly hadn’t occurred to me. The goal, post breakup, in my mind has largely has been how to figure out a friendship with him. I miss him, of course, but not in a romantic way. I miss his friendship. I miss our stupid jokes. I miss our sweet treat box. I lament having to say jokes out loud in my apartment to no one, knowing that he would’ve laughed.

But I can’t be friends with my ex. Not now, I guess. I don’t think he knows how. Maybe it’s still too painful. I know the pain. In a lot of ways I’m still sad. I think about how if I couldn’t figure it out with him, it’s never going to happen, you know?

He keeps hurting me. I keep thinking we’re ok, we’re finally on the same page, we’re good, but I’m wrong. He keeps hurting me. I don’t know if it’s on purpose. I know he’s a good person. I think he’s trying to protect himself. But it hurts.

So I can’t be friends with my ex.

#gay #stories #lgbt #breakups