i don't care, i love it

piper maclewis, 24. no i don't have my mouth full that's just my accent and if you're not turned on by it you're a liar. secretary, wannabe superhero, giants fan and batter for both teams.

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You sing it T-Swift. I feel ya, gurl.

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Starbucks guy wrote his number on my cup. Totally nailed my hungover flirting charm this morning.

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You let me fend for myself for a hot piece of ass!

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...She was a hot piece of ass, though!

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If that’s what you want to call it…

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...I’m sorry! She was hot!

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You were supposed to wait outside the stall for me!

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I was outside! I was just... otherwise occupied. 

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Well there was that one time…

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How was I meant to know that?

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Fiiiine, but I’m expecting you to look after me!

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Don’t I always?

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… I’m not getting out from under this, am I?

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Nope!

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When?

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...Okay, fair enough. I laugh with you, not at you!

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For you, maybe!

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Hey, you get to laugh at me too!

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I really want to say yes, but you know I never do well when going out. I always embarrass myself one way or another…

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That’s half the fun!

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Then I guess we just make a hot duo.

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We really, really are. So we should use that too our advantage: let’s go out!

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You’re a babe, Piper MacLewis.

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As are you, Katie Howard.

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Real talk though, who doesn’t want you?

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Real talk: you’re so right.

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So in other news the barista at Starbucks ‘accidentally’ made enough coffee to fill a large cup so upgraded my order for free. He wants me.

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grant and piper; one

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Jeeze, Pips, why would I be mad?

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It's just... such a cliche.

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grant and piper; one

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Am I mad? [shrugs] Nah.

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[surprised] Really?