sometimes having a big heart makes me feel so fucking stupid and naive

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@piscesdivines
sometimes having a big heart makes me feel so fucking stupid and naive
Find me in 6 months when I learn this again, because I'm also a dumb bitch
The secret to a peaceful tumblr experience is that every once in a while you gotta be deeply fucking cringe on main so only the strong will keep following you.
I’ve been cringe for so long that those following me now are extremophiles. If you’re reading my blog, then you’re like those bacteria that grow on the inside of nuclear reactors.
Chilling
I love seeing people adopt phrases I say like yes say my words boy
Why are you, as a beefy man, not laying on top of me (naked)?
Am I just a weighted blanket to you?
It’s coming
petition to start using it like we did the megamind meme until it comes true
hyvä ja pyöreä….
The wedding is about to begin!!
I ship it
The bridesmaids and groomsmen are coming down the aisle!
The ring bearer!!!
This is beautiful
Flower girl with the bride and her father in tow!
And everyone is in places!!!!!
"if anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace"
THIS IS MY MOMENT
MY FUCKING TIME TO SHINE
“I OBJECT”
{disapproving gasps}
“Bethany!” The bride says. “You-you know this woman?” The groom says. He is baffled.
I physically need to know what happens next
“Why yes!” The bride says, “She is the only person I’ve ever really loved!”
omg what a plot twist
“Bethany, will you marry me?” The bride says.
“Yes!” Bethany says and they both kiss.
“Well then!” Says the groom, “I suppose if you’re marrying Bethany, I’ll marry Thomas!”
Double wedding!
Honeymoon photos!
BRINGING THIS BACK FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL
Uni.
HEY LADIES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . DID YOU KNOW UHHHHHHHHH
if you are swedish say hello to the goat for me
or goodbye. your choice
I don't think people realize just exactly how much security Gävle put on this goat. It is a real feat to accomplish it! The lists of added security each year in itself is worth a read.
But the different ways of destruction is where the real gems are
THE GOAT COMMITEE!!
Observe that they managed to get away with this one!
First use of hackers to disable the cameras
sadly, this plan didn't work, but A for effort! Also, you very much go to prison if you get caught. This is a very very unhinged game
[picking at my scabs] heehee hoohoo texture be gone. surely there will be no repercussions
no…..this cant be……by jove! ive been repercussed
“if you take medication for that, you’ll be taking medication all your life!!” yeah, and?? bud, i already put on my glasses every morning. it’s like. a condition of mine, not a side hobby i’m pursuing irresponsibly.
My favorite trope is “janitor in headphones continues cleaning through extreme action”
I’ve been the janitor in headphones and trust me it’s an act we just don’t wanna be involved in the nonsense
They should invent a me that goes to bed at a reasonable time