☠Shit Crypt☠

Jude/He-Him/She-Her/24/YOU BETTER NINTENDO 60 FORGET ABOUT EVER SURVIVING

[hattersarts]

so what if lady d kept a maiden around longer than usual 👉 👈 because what if the maiden was nice to her daughters on a matter of politeness and then accidentally endeared herself to alcina and she ends up keeping her around for company and the maiden certainly isnt against being kept as a hot water bottle and occasional snack by a giant vampire milf. i also love the idea of alcina's daughters gossiping about how long she's kept this one around now, they're normally gone in a matter of days or weeks, she doesn't play with her food for this long.....

[omghotmemes]

Utah Macy’s really knows how to cater to their market.

[takemetotheastral]

Perfect for someone with three, perhaps weed smoking, girlfriends

[swurp]

smell that? that's browned butter, kid. you're out of your fuckin league.

[alkaline-noodles]

[thefighter2-deactivated20200212]

the guy who designed scythes definitely knew that shit was badass. he didnt care about wheat

[parakeet]

[baking-accident]

“god i wish that were me” except his eyes are glowing with unimaginable power and he says “god wishes he were me”

[earl-goupil]

[neilaglet]

HEAVY IS THE WEBHEAD THAT WEARS THE CROWN

[possuman-deactivated20180713]

why do 90% of all medicines sound like cool wizard names

[possuman-deactivated20180713]

it is i, Zyrtec the allmighty,

[possuman-deactivated20180713]

you are no match for Xanax the Wise

[sasstricbypass]

viagra 

[pucikat-deactivated20190223]

remember that pic of the my little pony saying ”ok so 12 pounds of crake 15 pounds of cokane and 7 male stripers.” i need it

[straightboyfriend]

[specialmemefresh-deactivated202]

[lipoil-deactivated20160909]

Me as a lover: always there,remembers dates and details,makes you coffee

[mojav]

me as a lover: always SLEEPIN… cant’ remeber SHIT, i WILL forget your name, breakfast is a bowl of monster energy drink adn you have to drink it like an animal or we’re breaking up

[pixelw1tch]

SOME IMPORTANT PURPLES

[soup-erb]

[egobuzz]

@ jj abrams 

[bluebell-lucy-deactivated202209]

Hi my name is Noctis Lucis Caelum and I have messy ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with little spikes and bangs that cover my eyes and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Sasuke Uchiha (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m related to Regis Lucis Caelum but I wish I wasn’t because he’s the king of Lucis and that’s a lot of responsibility to live up to. I have pale white skin. I’m also a prince, and I go to a public school where I’m in my senior year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black shirt with matching jacket around it and black cargo shorts, and black combat boots. I was walking outside the Citadel. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. Ignis and Gladio stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

[whereshadowsmakeshadows-deactiv]

The overlap between gym culture, call of duty and energy drinks is a government conspiracy to create a new elite class of obedient ruthless soldiers incapable of metacognition

[paxamericana]

[determinate-negation]

this doesnt even have the best part