somespace

cerber - he/xe/they - mid 20s mad, brainweird, ill i’m “that” sort of Queer

[planitiautopia]

a very short intro:

hi. call me cerber. i’m gay and genderqueer. my health and psyche are in shambles but i prevail. dad of 2 cats. this blog is my pile of shiny things that i hoard like a magpie. i headcannon columbo as a butch he/him lesbian cuz i think it’s cool and fun. можно по-русски ;)

my various stances and rules of engagement r under the cut👇🏻

last edit: 27/05/2026

some general rules of engagement:

keep in mind that i’m 26 when interacting with me

english isn’t my 1st language! i’m also dyslexic and i talk kinda weird so bear with me

i suck at tagging triggers but i’m open to tag requests

don’t tag my posts with ‘q-slur’ and such

i block very liberally and not gonna waste my time on assholes

assume that i’m speaking from my personal experience unless there’s a disclaimer stating otherwise

few hills i’m still standing on as of rn:

trans people don’t hold any meaningful power to oppress each other gender-wise

if your trans/feminism doesn’t acknowledge that trans men and mascs do not benefit from and are oppressed by patriarchy, i’m not taking anything you say seriously

strong solidarity with people who are intersex, who are gender non-conforming, who are cistrans, detrans, or re-trans, post-gender, mspec, multigender, xeno, etc.

identity labels are tools. not laws, not science, not the holy bible of queerness

i don’t believe in “punching up”. an oppressed group has no meaningful power to damage social positions of members of privileged groups without a coherent strategy and some serious organising. your hit will land sideways, and most likely will worsen the lives of those who are already less privileged than you. all the ways you can “punch” come from the toolbox of your oppressors; it doesn’t matter how creative you get with trying to “repurpose” and “(re)invent” slurs and other abuses - it will always hit the most vulnerable minorities first, without you even knowing. the system is designed that way, there’s not workarounds and no shortcuts. if you care for anyone other than yourself - stop using your master’s tools

i also don’t believe in call-outs, punitive justice, reliability of gut reactions, “narc abuse”, bio- and gender essentialism, transmedicalism, and respectability politics

sex work is work; decriminalize sex work; swerfism doesn’t do shit for sex workers, but unions do

USSR sucked. i don’t mean it in a pro-capitalist/anti-communist way, it genuinely did suck

congrats, u made it to the end! thank you and stay inquisitive <3

[depsidase]

[glittercorvid]

Donate to Support for Yolanda Wynn & Mark Rumph, organized by Eliza Jane Franklin

Mark was an 18-year-old with a bright future ahead of him. He had recently o… Eliza Jane Franklin needs your support for Support for Yolanda

GFM for his family, organized by a member of the black heritage society of eufaula, where this happened

[bumblebeebats]

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

[spectralhauntings]

I've been using the pet poison hotline's poison list cause it has a search function. It also tells you whether something is mildly, moderately, or severely toxic which can be very handy! It doesn't contain like everything but it might be a good place to start, it also includes plants for fellow houseplant lovers <3

Explore Pet Poison Helpline®s vast knowledge on poisons by reviewing our pet poison list. Explore our top 10 poison and holiday poison lists

[littlemousling]

For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog

[busket]

wait, cis tumblr user!

before you reblog that seemingly innocuous transgender positivity or discourse post, here's some important things to look out for:

1. does this post uplift one marginalized group at the expense of another? specific positivity posts are great, like "protect black trans women" or "lets support intersex folks", but be sure that the post in question doesnt put down another group. examples: "trans women get all the love, so lets have some support for trans men for once" or "trans women are so strong for what they go through, trans men could never understand the struggle and dont experience even half of what trans women are put through" 🚨🚨DONT REBLOG IT!🚨🚨 find another post that doesnt have to put down another marginalized group or pit us against each other. remember, as a cis ally, its not your place to decide who does or doesnt deserve support, or to pick sides when misguided trans folks decide to play oppression olympics.

2. listen for dogwhistles! what seems like a harmless feminist post venting about cishet men can have hateful intentions towards marginalized people. terfs will often misgender trans women when they complain about them so it looks like theyre talking about predatory men, but theyre really meaning trans women. radfems/baeddels frequently omit the "trans" aspect of trans men to hide their anti-transmasculinity. if you have doubts, go to the OPs blog and search terms like "TIM" "TIF" "TRA" "TMRA" "radfem" "terf" "radical feminism" "theyfab" etc. you can also just search trans men/transmasc/trans woman/transfem and if you see anything negative, block and move along!

3. does the post operate under the binary for no good reason? does OP seem to forget that nonbinary and/or intersex people exist? does it use agab language when it seems to only be talking about trans men/women or cis men/women? does it use gendered euphemisms instead of specific and plain language, example: talking about periods and saying "women" "afab people" "females" instead of "people who menstruate". while it seems harmless, these small language quirks really build up in the psyche of trans folks and reminds us that people often are not willing to accommodate us. if your goal as an ally is to make us feel welcome and safe, being as direct and plain with your language is a good start

4. lastly, read the notes! watch out for "us vs them" language or advocating violence. even a common, unserious sentiment like "kill all men" that carries little weight in the cis world is a lot heavier in the trans community; cis men are rarely killed but trans men are murdered at high rates. watch out for malgendering, which is someone holding a trans persons gender identity against them, like "trans men really ARE men 🙄" or calling trans women hysterical bitches. remember that no demographic of trans person is "coddled" or supported by the status quo, we all live in a world that is increasingly hostile to us. if people agreeing with the post in question have this level of vitriol against other trans people, chances are its not actually a very friendly and positive post. again, as a cis ally, its not your place to involve yourself in community infighting.

with these simple tips, you can stop accidently spreading anti trans propaganda or harmful infighting that fractures trans unity and solidarity

[arachnid-party]

something that really exhausts me in trans discourse is how people constantly try to apply cis discrimination dynamics into the one minority group it doesn’t apply to. we are so close to having a productive conversation but we keep missing each other here and it genuinely saddens me

[fruitgravies]

wandering

insta • twt • bsky

[audible-smiles]

My memory of The Birdcage (1996) is always that it's more dated and more difficult to watch than it actually is. You hear "drag-themed comedy from the 90s based on a musical from the 80s based on a play from the 70s" and you brace yourself just a little, right? But the film has a strong gay perspective, so the fruity fag jokes mostly come off as warmly affectionate. There is a surprising amount of poignancy in Robin Williams' portrayal of Armand, grudgingly agreeing to his beloved son's request that he go back into the closet for an evening ("do me a favor and don't talk to me for a while"). The drag club's staff attempting to redecorate the apartment with stuff straight people might like (a taxidermy moose head, an enormous crucifix, and Playboy magazine) is extremely funny. Albert's histrionics are a point of tension because he does often come off as a stereotypically pathetic/comic figure, but towards the end of the movie he makes it very clear that he's aware of how people see him, and asserts that trying to copy a stoic masculinity he doesn't possess for the sake of social approval would be more pathetic. In the 1983 musical adaptation, they give "Albert" (Albin) the only good song in the whole show, "I Am What I Am", which Gloria Gaynor covered to the delight of gays everywhere. Apparently Nathan Lane wasn't (publicly) out yet in 1996, which is amazing because it means that at one point in this movie you're watching a gay man playing a straight man playing a gay man playing a straight man, in a movie about how it's important to be yourself, an absurdity that does seem to encapsulate the state of gay America in the 90s.

[silverhand]

I'm seeing a couple of posts circulating about the gay 90s and this movie. The above is a very good summary, and I think it's worth adding a few other points.

This movie got made because Robin Williams said yes to it (and it's important that Gene Hackman did as well). Williams in the 90s was a mega-star of a type that's not present in the current media environment (maybe Tom Cruise, but I personally think that's echo from his salad days). Even his flops made money on the back end in the video rental market, which also doesn't exist anymore (streaming is different). Hackman was on the other side of his A-list career but still Hollywood nobility if not full royalty.

Playing gay was considered career suicide in the 90s. There had been a number of actors who put lie to that belief stretching back decades, but this was Williams and Hackman (yes, being on screen next to a gay character was enough to get you blacklisted) saying "screw that" and doing it anyway.

Being gay and out was career suicide in the 90s.

Nathan Lane had a really nice gig going for himself. The Lion King put him into the Disney rep company with people like Williams, Bette Midler, and Whoopie Goldberg (check their IMBD list from the 90s--they were making bank at Disney).

Lane didn't come out until several years later (nice summary: https://deadline.com/2024/06/nathan-lane-robin-williams-advice-coming-out-birdcage-1235975010/).

I don't want to imply that this was a Sorkinized moment where everything changed because of one thing, but this was a very important movie that caused real movement in the needle on queer acceptance.

It also proved that there was a market for films with gay characters, which had the knock-on effect of gay filmmakers being able to find distributors of their gay-themed films. Which meant that more people than ever (queer and non-queer) got to see representation on-screen.

[paper-mario-wiki]

do not forget the patron saint of these weeks that we celebrate ourselves proudly and openly in the streets

her name was Marsha P Johnson, and we have her to thank for so much.

remember, the first Pride was a riot, and she was one of the brave souls who endured it to help carve the path which so many of us walk today. she helped found several activist groups regarding LGBT safety and wellbeing. and she was absolutely radiant, too.

thank you, Marsha. we remember you.

[pingintech]

taking a moment to point out a large part of WHY we remember marsha p johnson in ways we dont remember silvia rivera

i think a lot of people think it was simply because she was an icon

she was

because she fought for a huge chunk of the rights we have today

she did

during a time at whoch she risked very serious risk of imprisonment and death even more than we face now

she did

and she did it all as a trans woman of color

she was

BUT notably silvia rivera did all of these things too!!! and they co founded a queer rights together the two of them called street transvestite action revolutionaries AKA STARs and yet marsha p is remembered and silvia died homeless and poor

so why remember marsha p specifically???

well we have someone specific to thank for our yearly reminder to remember marsha p

this dedicated to paye written by none other

than leslie feinberg

now zie wasnt solely responsible for it a lot of movement happened before and after to ensure we memorialize her right but its notable why feinberg asked we remembered her why the book was dedicated to her

"Dedicated to two trans warriors who fell in battle"

feinberg talked about this later in an interview in the ann arbor agenda issue 119

this is the section in question specifically

"KELLY: Can you tell us about the people who you dedicated the book to - Brandon Teená and Marsha P. Johnson?

FEINBERG: I dedicated the book to Brandon Teena, a young white male who was arrested by the pólice who later exposed to the town that he was born female and he was kidnapped and gang-raped and beaten by two men after this discovery and later stabbed to death along with two other people by these same two men. No one has yet carried out a community investigation into the role of the police in instigating this violence against Brandon Teena. But his death has served as a rallying cry not just for the trans communities but I think also for the lesbiangay bi communities and the women's movement to put a stop to this violence. Marsha P. Johnson, who I also dedicated the book to, was an African-American drag queen who was a combatant at the Stonewall Rebellion against pólice brutality and bigotry. She was found floating in the Hudson River a little more than four years ago. The police conducted an investigation that consisted of two phone calis and ruled her death a suicide. But when a people's postering campaign began in Manhattan and the Village we discovered reports that a group of young bashers had been surrounding her on the same piers near where she was found. So, I think that both of these people's lives are an indication that orí the one hand we don't even know how many people were killed or died under similar circumstances in the past and whose lives and deaths were rendered invisible. But Brandon Teena's and Marsha P. Johnson's deaths are a demand now for us that this cease; that we're going to put our energy into stopping this kind of violence . . . and the cover-up."*

these two trans people were not just memorable but were also killed in incredible acts of violence had their deaths barely investigated and even covered up

i hate when people make everything about trans discourse as often it just puts a wedge between us and i do not want to taint the memory of remembering the death of a most influential black trans woman by petty oppression olympics still i think its worth pointing out that as people keep trying to act as if trans men arent oppressed trans men arent in the same kinds of danger as trans women that trans men dont get killed in hate crime acts like trans women even despite the death of lucas redbeard knapp this year that we remember not only WHY we remember johnson but also i want us to remember the man whose death was first uttered in the same sentence as marsha p johnson most well known remembrance rallying cry

brandon teena a trans man whose death was incredibly violent and the end result of sexual assault that got actively covered up by police

this year i plead i beg of you all let us remember both

*notable here feinberg calls marsha p johnson a drag queen because during the era of ballroom culture when marsha was alive and the trans community was quite literally segregated drag queen/king were the terms poc used to describe themselves many went on later to identify as transgender (such as rivera did later in life) as definitions changed and grew and connotations changed and marsha p was again a co founder of street TRANSVESTITES action revolutionaries so she fully was trans

[angiepants]

This is a man loving blog btw. I know this is the man hating site and increasingly the trans man hating site but that shit stops at my borders

[abolish-the-draft]

[thepinkpestilence]

advising to read "whipping girl" by julia serano to understand trans men is like telling people to watch steven spielbergs "jaws" 1975 if they want to learn about sharks. both creators admitted that their works influence on that part is terrible.

[learn-how-to-love]

What “talking about your lived experience” IS:

Giving examples, anecdotes etc. of things you have personally experienced and how you believe your various identities contribute to it

Finding community with people who have similar experiences and engaging in activism around that

What “talking about your lived experience” IS NOT:

Saying that because you have one experience, it must mean that others that aren’t like you don’t have that experience

Dictating what other groups experience in general, especially marginalized groups you don’t belong to

Invalidating other groups’ experiences as not as bad or even nonexistent in comparison to your own

Extrapolating out your personal experiences to every member of your group, regardless of other intersecting identities

Declaring that anyone who does not have your particular experience is not really a member of your group, even if you personally can’t understand how someone in your demographic doesn’t experience the same

[learn-how-to-love]

At this point I view the use of the term “TWERF” as a dog whistle/indicator of anti-transmasculine beliefs because it relies on the false notion that there is the existence of Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists that include trans men/mascs in their radical feminism while excluding trans women/fems. No, it is not “inclusion” to misgender us as poor wombanly wombyn they need to rescue from “gender ideology”, just because they say they’re totally pro our rights (just while actively taking away our ability to transition and present as ourselves). Is it “inclusion” when TERFs sort transfems into the “man” group, because they personally believe them to be men? No? Then why is it considered so when we are sorted into the “women” group? We are both fundamentally denied our actual identity in pursuit of the cisgender binary, or in other terms, “excluded” from their version of radical feminism. Coincidentally, this is also why radical feminism can never be redeemed as a movement when trans inclusionary, because as it turns out splitting the world’s population into half and projecting a unified view of gender dynamics into each arbitrary group in ignorance of the reality subgroups within each face is Bad, Actually, even if you shuffle around where you put (ostensively binary) trans people in the mix.

[faux-friend]

When a black person states that something you did was racist, chill the fuck out. Its annoying dealing with you panicking trying to dissociate yourself from racism. If you're not black, black people already assume youve said nigga or its variant at least once in your life. If they're interacting with you and bringing something up, its because they want you to stop doing that so they can still interact with you(if ur already friends)

You WILL be racist. You WILL do racist things. You have ALREADY done both. Learn and move on. There's no ideological purity you can hold on to, i promise. Proving you can take the criticism without making it a big deal and practice what you preach is better than any clean slate.

Be the kind of person black people don't have to gamble on. Shut up and lock in

[transmortifried]

idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr

you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category

[charlesoberonn]

I want to fuck Antoni Gaudi's unbuilt Hotel Attraction skyscraper design

[anatomizer]

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

[thepersonalmossblog]

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis

[basileater]

ive always been willing to die on the hill of cis women being able to beat cis men in sports so nobody will ever ever make me concerned about trans women in womens sports even if i was delusional enough to believe that was a comparable situation. do i think a cis woman could beat a trans woman in fucking pickleball or whatever? Buddy I think a cis woman could beat a cis male bodybuilder in sports. You will not get me

[domsdickey]

this feels too important (and correct!!) to leave in the notes

[catboybiologist]

Why Women Have Beaten Men in Marathon Swimming?

Research has shown that women, due to specific reasons, have regularly produced faster times than men in marathon swimming.

Women often outperform men in Olympic shooting. Is it time for open events?

The sport’s governing body says there is little difference in performance between genders. Should men and women compete head-to-head as indi

Men’s and Women’s Gymnastics: Exploring Differences in Olympic Events

Uncover the unique differences between men’s and women's gymnastics at the Olympics. Explore how these events contrast in style and rules.

Women outperform men in many sports, and in many instances, the men's versions of these sports are rewritten into completely different versions so that they can't be compared.

And if your reaction to this is "well women don't outperform men in skills that we typically find impressive" I would implore you to think about why things women tend to be better at than men are valued less by society.

If your reaction is "well that's cherrypicking examples, its such a small handful of formalized sports" I'd implore you to think of why so many popular sports are structured around the specific set of skills men are better at.

Because the answer starts with m and ends with isogyny.

[bigenderbeckett]

the whole thing about trans men and our male privilege is so stupid. in a cissexist society there is no institutional or social benefits that come with being a trans man. individual experiences of privilege that do occur come from perceived proximity to cisness. society at large isn't rewarding trans men, we either get social privilege if we pass that won't stand up to institutional scrutiny, or we get to be failed women or lesbians. either way, there isn't a reward or reprieve for being a trans man.

[planitiautopia]

worth noting that there’s more to it than being perceived as failed women (or lesbians). to display any proximity to cis masculinity at all is to divert from enforced femininity, which paradoxically puts you further away from cisness as a whole. any masculinity we show is therefore “deviant” masculinity, and it more often than not amplifies the abuse.

depending on a bigot, there’s usually a point when you’re no longer seen as a “fucked up girl” (which might even give you occasional pity) unworthy of acknowledgement, you become a “malicious deceiver” of unfortunate cisgendered onlookers (or, god forbid, intimate partners! gasp!). or worse, you become a “monstrosity” - an insult to nature itself, some grotesque abominable objects that need to be removed from public, as acceptable targets for all kinds of violence and abuse, as inhuman things deserving of punishment for existing at all; to be treated as a genderqueer and transmasculine person in a cis/sexist kyriarchic society is an experience of its own particular kind

[nonbinary-wrath-month]

To say that masculinity is a flawed construct that inflicts serious psychological damage to many in its current state is true. To say that femininity in comparison is liberatory and pure and the "superior option" for most or all of the people on the planet is nuclear cope. Just weapons-grade ideological myopia. Please put the phone down and only return to the conversation when you can deepen your analysis beyond "this thing is evil because it makes me personally feel bad, and this thing is pure because it makes me personally feel good".