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Danny moves to Gotham and the batfam picks up on the weird guy who sometimes glows green. So they all try to interrogate him but instead of taking it seriously he just treats it like a casual conversation and responds to the invasive questions with the oddest shit possible.

Batman *standing in the dark corner like a demented Halloween decoration*: are you a meta?

Danny: nope

Batman: so I'm supposed to believe the green energy beams are normal human abilities?

Danny *half his body in the fridge fighting something*: yeah my hometown wasn't super strict on zoning laws

Dick *opening up Danny's Starbucks tumbler*: so,,, green ooze‽

Danny: it's better warm, let it thaw a little.

Jason: what do you know about the Lazarus Pits?

Danny *with a gun to his head*: sorry man, armpits don't really do it for me.

Jason *trying not to laugh and ruin the creep factor*: no, in Nanda Parbattm

Danny: where's that, Arizona?

Stephanie: so you're not gonna like, drag Gotham into hell are you?

Danny: been there done that 0/10 would not reccomend

Stephanie: good enough for me.

Damian *with a katana trying to look scary*: what is your association with the league of assassins?

Danny *on three hours of sleep*: ass, ass, ins.

Damian: what?

Danny: that's how you spell it.

Tim: so, friends with any questionably immortal creepy old men?

Danny: friends is a strong word, but yeah.

Tim: tell me about it.

bonchobrick

Danny deals with so much weird shit on a daily that he doesn’t even realize the bats are trying to pry, interrogate, find out his deal and batcuff him so he kinda just thinks they are just a very curious family and he just responds absentmindedly because who would give a fuck right?

Wrong. They would all give very much a fuck, except Steph maybe. She’s kinda also like Danny and has simply just excepted weird shit as normality in her life.

They all go crazy over every word that comes out of this random guys mouth because

what the hell does he mean by ‘I’m human but not in the way your gonna like”

why does he have a bunch of thermos’ of green goo theyre not allowed to “make portals with” (as if they thought about that in the first place??)

And why when they saw him fucking FLICKER in and out of their GODDAMN REALITY does he respond to their question of, ‘I’m-I—how did you do that??’ replying with—

“Wisconsin gave me powers” what the FUCK

ichi-is-a-cat

"I'm human but not in the way you're gonna like" is gold, just him playing fast and loose with the concept of his own humanity.

Cuz just imagine-

Bruce: so you have meta abilities?

Danny: yeah

Bruce: so you're a metahuman

Danny: see, that's stretching it

Danny: *telling a story about a teenage injury*

Tim: I wasn't aware that was humanly possible...

Danny: eh well,,,

Tim: tf you mean 'eh well‽'

Bonus:

Batman *in Danny's ransacked apartment*: so you didn't defend yourself against them?

Danny: well I didn't want to break it!!

hdgnj

Bruce finally breaks and calls in the big guns. Alfred's state of dissapointment. Danny is dragged over for dinner. His 're friend asked. Of course he went. And then the food was great!

But then the butler sat him down for a chat. And suddenly Danny felt like a very naughty toddler for some reason.

Alfred: Now. My family have been hearing some very worrying things from you young man. I would like some answers so I know you are safe.

Danny: What! Is! Are you doing an intervention!? I'm not even your kid! Why do I feel the need to answer you!

Alfred: I have raised many children. Now. Why do you say being meta human is a stretch?

Danny: I don't have the gene. So.

Alfred: But you have powers.

Danny: yes.

Alfred: Why are you worried about portals?

Danny: My parents might have built one in The basement.

All of the bats are listening in horror as Danny gives an actual recounting of his life to Alfred. Bruce pulls out the papers and Dick has to grab them. Bruce no! He is an adult!

Danny of course doesn't go into full detail. And there is a lot they are missing. But even the broad strokes are horrific enough. He is never allowed to go back to Illinois.

ashoutinthedarkness

He gets a lot more invites to their house. And since it includes free (non reanimated!!) Food he agrees.

He ends up there pretty often

hdgnj

Somehow he always has another off the wall bonkers take to tell. They get to a point where t hey are just waiting for the next truth bomb that will send them spiralling.

And then they find out he can be summoned when he gets yanked away by Ra's So Ghul. Danny gets back thoroughly annoyed.

Danny: Urgh, that was the worst! Some demons head guy wanted to trade his grandchild for immortality. Yuck!

Bruce: What?

Tim: Demons head?

Damian: Which grandchild?

Danny: Yeah! He just summoned me. And then was all blah blah blah. Worship me. I am amazing as deserve everything even though I'm gross. My heir betrayed us so have his soul for me to live forever!

Bruce: What did you do?

Danny: Well! He was gross. And he had this pool of gross ecto. And he pissed me off. So I made the pool vanish and told him to Fuck off. Why would I want souls? What am I gonna do with them really?

Damian: I assume have them as your slaves!

Danny: Gross! No thanks. Is rather have friends you know?

Tim: You uh, stole his pool?

Danny: Oh yeah. That's stuff is super unhealthy for the living! And he had done something to make it worse. So as payment for my time. I took it and sent it to my Healer. So he can study it! And see if we can clean it or not!

Dick: An I having a fever dream?

Jason: If you are we all are!

stealingyourbones

Short DPXDC Prompts #802

Danny is unaware that as the ghost king, he is able to command liminal beings. After being mockingly harassed by Robin he just says “Geez man. Can’t you be nice for once?” Robin can’t disobey. He can’t say no to any asks for a favor. He can’t tell anyone when they’re making him uncomfortable or distressed in any way. He can’t speak his mind because it could be considered rude to that person. How long does it take for the Bats to figure out what’s happening and how does Damian let the batfam know that something is wrong.

serenefig

Okay so flat out, I don't really know much about Damian outside of the Family Adventures on webtoon, but I can't imagine it would take too long for the batfam to realise something was up? I can imagine maybe the weirdest game of 20 questions. Like, everyone trying to narrow down "can you say X".

Oh, but what if it gets physically painful the more Damian tries to disobey. Like, yeah, he can't outright, but can be skirt around it? Rules lawyer or malicious compliance it? Or is he forced mute into he can word things in a non-rude way?

Does this take into account playful banter from people who know it's not rude, or is he forced into kindness that is wildly out of character that the batfam would think mind control or possession first?

Okay so really thinking about it—and the way I'm interpreting it, is that there's a bit of the "character trapped in their own mind" trope—I think that Dick would catch it first. I'd say maybe a week, two at the very very max and that's cos something else hit the fan. He can see the discomfort of Damian wanting to say no in his face. His eyes pinch, his nose curls, something like that.

And he says "hey, you can say no. You know that right? It won't hurt my feelings if you say no."

And Damian maybe gives a sigh of relief, maybe some tension leaves his frame, nods and says thank you before leaving.

And maybe this happens a couple more times before Dick just goes "hold up something isn't right"

fahbev-deactivated20251015

Ooooh oh oh! Brain tickles! Fuck!

ohkay imma attempt to write something here, bear with me!! Steering this towards angstville because hell yea.

Damian knew something was wrong ever since he’d come across that strange kid. He’d felt a tickle down his spine and some primal sensation that he couldn’t explain. This wasn’t just a kid. This was a very, very powerful being. Perhaps that was why he’d been confrontational. Typically, pissing off some possibly god-like being would be considered a bad idea, but something about the way his skin prickled with goosebumps made him want to shout. He really didn’t know why. What he did know, even if he’d never admit it, was that this thing scared him. And Damian was always taught to take on things that scared him head first.

He regretted his words, though, when the strange teenager responded. Even if it was in the most normal way.

“Geez, man! Can’t you just be nice for once?” He smiled, as if his words meant nothing.

Damian’s body went numb and cold. Every instinct he had screamed at him, like he was a child again and his grandfather had lectured him. It was a command. One he couldn’t fathom disobeying right then.

Can’t you just be nice for once?

It was a reprimand. It echoed in his soul that he had done something very wrong.

Can’t you just be nice for once?

Yes. Of course. He could do that.

I won’t do it again, My King. I swear.

Damian realized he was just standing there, frozen, for just a little too long. But all he could make himself do was nod shakily, and head off the other way.

Once the coast was clear and nobody was around to see, he sprinted.

What even was that? Where did that thought come from? “My King”, what the hell?? This was stupid, he reminded himself. The kid was clearly some kind of fear-inducing meta. Nothing more. Nothing to really be scared of.

Whatever that “command” was, Damian resolved to disobey it the first chance he got. Because being an asshole was his brand, of course. Not at all to reassure himself that nothing would happen if he did. Damian Wayne didn’t have fears, let alone irrational ones like that.

The problem occurred when he realized he couldn’t. Or perhaps the problem had occurred as soon as those words had been spoken.

Can’t you just be nice for once?

Damian spent the rest of patrol thinking about opening the comms to say something rude. Aka, not doing it. He wanted to, but for whatever reason, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Perhaps not something out of the blue, then. He would say something rude when he was spoken to.

“Yo, Damian,” Tim said once they got back to the cave, “You’ve been awfully quiet, usually you’d have said something pompous and overly critical by now. You alright?” Tim teased. His grin said that the jab was playful, but intentional.

Fuck you, asshole. Pressure built up in his temples. Just say it, say “fuck you, asshole” and be done with it.

“F-”

the pressure instantly turned to a spitting headache, like every suture in his skull had been struck with a knife. Damian couldn’t stop himself from wincing, and his hands drifted up to his head.

This is unrelated! Just say it, dammit!

“F-”

Somehow, the already agonizing headache managed to get worse for an unbearable moment. No, no, fuck THIS.

“Fine.” He said. The pain instantly subsided to a dull throb, and Damian took a deep breathe of relief.

“I’m fine.” He repeated. Partially to himself. He turned around to hang up his cape.

“Can’t you just be nice for once?” Say “Thank You”. It would be the nice thing to do. It was just then that the headache grew again. Almost as if his intrusive thoughts and his very nervous system were working together to make him obey.

“Thank you.” He added.

Goddammit.

Damian felt a bolt of adrenaline through his torso and down his arms. What the FUCK is wrong with me? He tried again to squash his fear, but it didn’t work as well as it usually did. Something is definitely wrong.

As Damian took off the rest of his costume, he heard Tim mutter something along the lines of “what the fuck was that????”.

I wish I could tell you.

Damian went to bed, and prayed that everything would be normal again when he woke up.

(Ok! I wrote more but i’m gonna split this up into 2 rbs bc i think it’ll flow better like that. Gimme a few hours to finish the next part.)

fahbev-deactivated20251015

K i’m back! This didn’t take as long as i thought!

The next morning, He decided to test it again. Then the memory of the splitting agony in his skull flashed through his mind.

Maybe in a bit.

Embarrassingly, it took a long time for him to build up the courage to do it. He spent almost an hour sitting on his bed and pacing his room, scolding himself for being a coward.

It will be alright! There’s nothing wrong. Last night was a bizarre coincidence... God, I can’t even lie to myself properly!

Sure enough, when he tried to be mean, he found himself incapable.

When he tried to say a jerkish response to Grayson’s ‘good morning’, it was the same splitting pain as the night before, forcing him to just say “good morning” back.

When he tried to flip off Todd, the pain was just as bad but in his arm. His hand just spasmed out of control before he decided to give a friendly wave instead.

It was getting really, really distressing. He got desperate enough that he even tried to punch Alfred, just hoping that he could do something, anything to disobey that fucking voice that still echoed in his skull. That attempt rewarded him with pain from his shoulder to his whole arm and down the side of his body that threatened to knock him down. At least he deserved it that time.

It was like being back in the League. Always being punished for stepping out of line.

Fine. Clearly nothing was working. Even if he could resist it with enough willpower (which might not even be true), the pain was enough that it wasn’t worth it. It felt like a defeat.

Seriously, Damian? Giving up already? Scared of a little pain? Weak. Pathetic.

At least the strange command didn’t seem to include being nice to himself. Otherwise he’d be in pain every second of the day.

Either way, he wasn’t giving up. Not really. He would just have to... work around this. Make a gameplan.

The first order of business was to decide exactly what the command meant.

The command said to be nice “for once”, which should imply that he only had to be nice one time for the command to be satisfied. Clearly, that was not the case. That meant that the exact wording didn’t matter quite so much as the intent behind it. Or worse, what the command meant to him.

The issue was, Damian didn’t really know how to be nice. That wasn’t the kind of thing his mother taught him, nor did he have the social experience necessary to figure it out on his own. He did, however, know how to be polite and respectful. And wasn’t that the same thing?

Come to think of it, that was pretty in line with how he’d been forced to act. He hadn’t actually done anything nice, just been polite.

Damn. So the command probably was based on whatever Damian thought kindness meant. Fuck.

The second order of business, was to enlist the help of his family.

He’d recently gotten better at asking his family for help when he needed it, so this wouldn’t be his first rodeo. The caveat: he had to “be nice”. Burdening others with his problems wasn’t a very nice thing, now, was it?

This was why Damian HATED being nice. Or, in his case, being polite. It excluded just about everything that wasn’t pleasantries or kissing up to someone.

Being polite excluded defending himself, or defending others. It excluded saying ‘no’. It excluded expressing just about any emotion (not that Damian was a huge fan of doing that anyway), it excluded speaking his mind, doing just about anything without first getting permission, and even just talking without being required to.

And yes, it also excluded asking for things. Especially for help.

Damian would just have to wait for them to piece it together on their own. He had a family of detectives, and he was acting totally out of character. How hard could it be?

(Lmk if i should continue this or if someone else wants to take the reigns. I wanna see where it goes, i just don’t know if i’ll have to do it myself or not lol)

evilminji

Oh he needs to find Cass. She'd see the Obvious Distress screaming off him INSTANTLY. That or a Martian. Or he can write it down. Since it was an accident, literally NOTHING is stopping him from communicating through text from the same room. Politely. Then getting help. Embarrassing? Yes. But clearly not malicious if it can be subverted easily.

fahbev-deactivated20251015

I thought about writing! >:) also let’s b real, the distress is obvious to anyone, the reason behind it is the obscure part.

Damian was acting weird. It was painfully obvious. Cass could see the tension in his shoulders. The way he avoided the rest of the family. The fear he kept off his face, but not his body. He spoke less. When he did speak, he was uncharacteristically polite. Damian slept in that morning. Damian never slept in unless something was wrong. Most concerningly, he flinched badly every time he was spoken to. As if he was in physical pain... or maybe bracing for it. The conclusion was heartbreaking, but obvious.

Damian was afraid of them.

Time to find out why.

It was the week after Christmas, so calling a family meeting should be a breeze. Everyone was still home except for Jason (who left that day). Fortunately, Cass was still awake while the others would be asleep for a few more hours. The perfect time to enact her plan. She left through the window without a sound. Jason would be first.

Jason’s apartment was easy as ever to break into. There was a tiny rip in the screen in his bathroom window, in the perfect spot where she could reach through and unhook the screen. The lock on the window was broken too, and Cass could just lift it up.

She climbed into the window, put the screen down inside, and spotted her target: Jason’s toothbrush. Soon it was replaced by a drawing of itself, with text saying:

To cover her tracks, she wiggled the broken lock to a position where it looked locked but wasn’t, and unlocked his kitchen window as a decoy. She did the same window every time; it drove Jason mad.

Putting the screen back in from the outside was always a hassle, so Cass just put it in from the inside and let herself out the front door.

He always acts surprised when I get in. I wonder when he’ll discover the ripped screen or the broken window lock.

Cass grinned, thinking of Jason’s frustration every time she visited.

——

Soon, Jason’s, Tim’s, Steph’s, Duke’s, Bruce’s and Barbara’s toothbrushes were all tied up to a railing, with paper towels wrapped around the heads for sanitation. Dick might just skip brushing his teeth if his toothbrush was missing, so instead she kidnapped the red duck candle by the sink that she knew he’d come looking for.

It wasn’t necessary, but she taped paper towels to the duck’s head as well. Couldn’t have her victims knowing where she was taking them, could she?

Cass left batcave briefly to complete the last step of her plan.

——

“Alfred.”

Alfred jumped slightly, pretended nothing happened, and turned to meet her eyes. “Yes, Miss Cassandra?” He smiled warmly at her.

“If anyone tells you they’re missing something, can you tell them it’s in the batcave?”

Alfred looked confused for a moment, but then he winked at her and gave her a thumbs-up.

Cass responded by smiling back and making a heart with her hands. Now, to wait.

——

One by one, the crowd trickled in.

“Cass, where the fuck is my toothbrush?” Jason burst in the door.

“You will get it back.”

“... When, Cass? When will I get it- oh there it is!” Jason seemed to have found her hostages. He struggled for a moment, feeling around the thin rope she’d used.

“Did you-” Jason twisted it around the pole it was tied to to see the back, “You fucking padlocked it!”

Cass grinned at him and held up the key.

“Patient,” she said.

“YORICK!” Dick burst in the door behind them.

“You kidnapped him!” Dick pointed at her.

——

“Cass, I have school today!” Duke grabbed her shoulders and shook her.

In truth, Cass had forgotten that the high school was back in session so soon. Damian’s middle school wasn’t back for another two days.

“You’re not going.” She said.

“But I have to turn in my winter break packet! You know how my global teacher is an asshole; it’s half credit every day it’s late and this packet is important!”

“More important than Baby Brother?”

“…”

“Fine. But I really gotta stop skipping class.”

——

Ding!

the elevator door opened, to reveal a disgruntled Barbara. She made direct eye contact with Cass.

“I know what you did.”

Babs scowled, and Cass grinned.

——

“Dick!” Steph shouted from the doorway.

“Yeah?” He answered.

“I was brushing my teeth with my FINGER before Alf told me where it was! Give it back!”

Dick put his hands up in surrender; “It wasn’t me! I’m a victim here too!”

Steph followed Dick’s glare to Cass.

“Oh. Hey Cass. Can I please have my toothbrush back?” Steph asked.

Dick gave an offended scoff.

——

Cass didn’t even hear Burce walk in. Suddenly he was just- there.

“Which one of you rascals stole my toothbrush?”

everyone looked at Cass, who looked innocently around the room.

Bruce sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Cass, honey-”

“You will get it back.”

——

Yawn

“It’s too early for this. Who took my- actually I don’t care. Give it back.”

“Tim,” Duke said, “You realize school started twenty minutes ago, right?” Duke looked a little too smug in that statement. Not that Cass could judge.

“Yawn~ Wait what?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Bruce interrupted, “You’re not going. We have a family matter on our hands.”

“Ah- okay. Lemme just…” Tim walked over to the coffee maker.

“Soooooo…” Dick started, “I think we all know what this is about-”

“Damian’s possessed!” Tim shouted from across the cave.

“I don’t know about possessed-” Duke said

“I don’t know,” said Jason, “I’m with Timmy on this one.”

The room quickly dissolved into a cacophony of argument. Cass clapped her hands. Everyone turned to her. (Except Duke and Babs, who graciously argued quieter).

“He’s afraid of us.” Cass said. Everyone looked uncomfortable at that.

“I noticed that too,” Dick said, “I’m worried that... I don’t know- that someone hurt him.”

The room fell silent.

Cass clenched her fists and grit her teeth. That was her baby brother. The same, sweet kid who had so much empathy for animals that he drew and wrote a comic about what he imagined their lives were like. The same, insecure little boy who only showed it to her, Steph, Dick and his friend Jon. Her sweet little brother, who spent seven hours making a separate version with pictures in the speech bubbles instead of words, just so that Cass could have an easier time reading it.

His people skills may have been abysmal, but so were hers, and he was such a kind kid underneath.

Anyone who hurt him would suffer.

The door from the stairs opened one last time.

“Miss Cassandra, did you forget to invite me?” Alfred teased.

“You knew where to go,” she smiled at him.

“Anyway,” Jason said, “My money’s still on possession. I don’t know what you guys saw, but he literally just stood there, stared at me, then spasmed the fuck out, then waved at me with no emotion. He’s fucking possessed.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Steph said, “If we’re all down here… then Damian’s gonna be-”

On queue, the door opened once more.

“Why are you all down here? Did you assume I wouldn’t notice that the manor was empty?”

“AH! Go away!” Steph shouted.

Damian’s face twitched with discomfort for a few seconds, before he gave a slow, shakey nod. He turned and left, gently closing the door behind him.

“…”

“You see, that, was really weird,” Babs said. Bruce grunted in agreement.

——

Damian didn’t know how far away he was supposed to go, or for how long, but the voice in his head kept telling him to go further and further.

Go. Go away. Do what she wants.

Can’t you just be nice for once?

Do her a favor. It would be the nice thing to do.

It was bizarre, because he knew for certain that Steph wanted him to leave the room, not literally run away from home. But his instincts were strong, and he was sick of getting punished for going against them.

——

Meanwhile, Danny:

(On vacation with his parents, FaceTiming his friends)

“You ever get the feeling that you’ve fucked something up majorly, but when you think about everything you’ve done recently, there’s nothing you could’ve possibly fucked up?”

“I think that’s called anxiety, dude,” Tucker said.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

——

okay this was meant to be the whole family meeting in the first half, and the rest of the it be Damian’s adventures running away, but I got distracted with Cass’s elaborate setup!

i didn’t get to the part about writing stuff down, but i imagine he would have no trouble writing it, but be unable to give it to someone.

Also! If anyone has ideas for hijinks when damian goes to school like this, hit me with em!

——

Also also! I am the rare writer who’s happy to tag ppl! I don’t mind you asking, but op does and probably doesn’t want that on their post, so just send me an ask rq if u wanna b tagged!

——

taglist:

@verisbueller

fahbev-deactivated20251015

EEEE next part!

Damian didn’t know where he was going when he left, but he decided he might as well look for the strange teenager that had bestowed his curse.

The problem was, he didn’t know where to look. Besides the alley where the encounter happened (which was now empty), he had no leads. The alley had only one set of footprints, and they were his own. It was like he was looking for a ghost.

Alright, creepy person with weird vibes, who cursed me, and doesn’t leave footprints. That’s a totally normal teenager if I’ve ever seen one.

hazelriver74

Oof he’s in such a tight spot.

I wonder what would happen if someone requested he be rude like “he’s being a jerk, tell him to fuck off” he can’t comply with the request but not complying would be rude. Painful catch 22

fahbev-deactivated20251015

Okay so i did think of a similar tight spot (but more emotionally charged >:)), but it’ll be awhile before i get to it! And by while i mean i don’t actually know how long, bc my plan so far is more like a tangled piece of yarn that i’m untangling as I go.

Yarghhh, currently calling this story: Damian’s Adventures in Being Nice! Or, DAiBN! (Dunno what it is with me making long ass titles, first UFMIO and now this ToT)

Oh boy this is getting long! Guys, I meant to just make one addition in the spur of the moment and now i’m in too deep! Can’t complain tho

——

Damian kept running down the street. His chest heaved.

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. Shit. He had honestly been glad to get away from his family. He hated interacting with them in such a godawful manner, not to mention that it was degrading.

Oh, how much worse it was to be around strangers.

fahbev-deactivated20251015

Broski-

DAMN you’re quick! I didn’t even proofread/edit it yet! (Ofc that’s on my for posting it before doing so lmaoo)

mewzaque

Fastest reblog/reading speed in the west 😎

fahbev-deactivated20251015

Rambling at the top this time. Lmao i tried to proofread it afterwards bc i needed to, but also to see if i could read it that fast haha. It took a really long time and i DNF-ed, but that probably had more to do with the fact that it was super late and I couldn’t focus long enough to read a paragraph without interruption.

I should’ve named this series Damian’s Adventures in Being KIND, bc then the acronym could’ve been DANK, but i already got attached to the acronym DAiBN.

I HAD MEGA MOTIVATION LAST NIGHT BUT NOW IT’S GONE RAHHH! I was so motivated I couldn’t sleep, but too tired to write anything coherent. I was staring at my empty reblog tryna write but all my brain was giving me was:

“Bang!Bang! Fuck you! Tha’s my brother, bitch! RAHHHH!” And i was like no, i can’t make this dramatic. Im goin to bed.

PLEASE SEND ME AN ASK IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TAGGED!

I understand that dropping it in the replies is easier for people, but it’s easier for me to add you if you’ve sent an ask! I have a private post pinned that has my taglist, so when I go to edit it, the answered as is right underneath. This way I can see your username while i’m typing and punch it right in. Also, I don’t speak for op, but based on their previous posts, i think they find asking for tags to be annoying. Not to mention that I don’t get a notification unless you @ me! So please ask me directly!

I’m flattered either way though, and not upset at anyone ❤️ ok, without further rambling, let’s goooooo!

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