Based on âI Drive Your Truckâ by Lee Brice
Pairing: Rooster x Reader
TW: major character death, this is pure angst with as close to a happy ending as it can get lol
You look at the keys in your hand and close your fist tight enough that youâre sure you draw blood. As much as it hurts, you know this is what he would want. You hadnât brought yourself to even look at the blue bronco sitting in your driveway in the past month. You close your eyes and will the tears not to fall as you make your way forward one step at a time.
You unlock the driver side and pause to take a deep breath. Slowly but surely, you open the door to climb in and shut the door. The second you take a breath youâre overwhelmed with the familiar scent of fuel and a woodsy yet sweet cologne. You can feel it work its way into your blood stream and wrap around your throat, threatening to choke you. He engulfs you completely. Bradley.
Its been exactly a month since Jake and Pete showed up in their dress uniforms with solemn looks.Â
You opened the door with a bright smile expecting to see your Bradley. Instead, you found his Uncle Maverick and teammate, Hangman, on your doorstep. They glanced at each other before watching your face fall as realization set in.Â
The entire world froze. You swear you felt your life stop right then and there. You could pinpoint the exact moment that your future was ripped from your hands.Â
âIt is with great sorrow the United States Navy informs youâŠâŠ.killed in actionâŠ..deepest condolencesâ You only latched onto certain parts as your blood rushed in your ears and your eyes lost focus. You already knew what they were going to say anyway. You knew the second you saw them. Your Bradley was gone.
You screw your eyes shut as hot tears cascade down your face and onto your neck and shirt. You take a deep breath and wipe your eyes before starting the engine. The familiar sound brought you a comfort you werenât expecting. Maybe Mav was right. Maybe this would be good for you.
You put it in reverse and back out of the driveway, starting down the road. As you drive with no destination in mind, you think back to all the memories you have in this old truck.Â
Bradley opens the door for you and takes your hand, helping you climb up and situate yourself. You were going on your first date. You watched the houses get further apart before slowly becoming nothing but trees. You got further and further away from base before looking over at the man beside you.
âYouâre not gonna kill me right? This is giving off real dateline vibes right now.â You quipped with half a smile. He threw his head back and let out a loud laugh. You watched his eyes crinkle and wondered if this is what heaven would be like. You couldnât help but smile and laugh along with him.Â
After a few seconds, he calmed down and glanced at you. He had a twinkle in his eyes that you were certain even the brightest star couldnât outshine. âI canât tell you where were going but I would never hurt you. Pinky promise.â He says with a smile, sticking his pinky out.
You give him an incredulous look and he wiggles his finger at you expectantly. You hook your pinky through his and he brings your hands up to his mouth, giving them a quick kiss. He pushes them towards you and you do the same before smiling at him. You believe him wholeheartedly when he says heâll never hurt you.
A few minutes later he pulls up to a field of flowers and you see he has a picnic set up. You look over at him in disbelief. Thereâs no way this man looks this good and is a gentleman. He runs around to your side of his bronco and carries you over to the blanket.Â
You spend hours munching and chatting. When the sky gets dark, he lays back with you against his chest and you watch the stars together. You look back at him and wonder if he knows he just ruined all other men for you without so much as a kiss. You look over his face and notice how handsome he is,making a mental note to get the back story on his scars. You knew in that moment you would love this man until your heart stopped beating.Â
You smile fondly at the memory before turning onto a back road. He had kissed you for the first time that night. It was a quick peck over the center console, but you were hooked immediately.Â
Next you recall the night you met his friends.Â
Bradley opens the door of the bronco and helps you up as usual. You watch him round the truck and climb in the drivers side. He grabs your hand and brings it to his mouth, gently pressing his soft lips to your knuckles.Â
He holds it there for a second before lacing his fingers with yours and setting them on the center console. âDid you have fun?â he asks. You sigh and lock eyes with him.Â
âThe most fun. Do you think they liked me?â you ponder outloud. He scoffs gently rolling his eyes playfully. âI know they loved you.â his voice is so sure and you silently wonder how he does that. Heâs always so sure of himself that you canât help but be sure too.Â
Nonetheless you ask, âHow do you know?â You break eye contact and let your head drop.Â
He reaches over and takes your chin between his thumb and index finger, gently making you look up at him. âBecause I love you, so they have no choice.â His mouth opens slightly and he drops his hand before turning away. His face flushes a deep red as he realizes what he so casually admitted, like heâd been saying it his whole life.Â
Your eyes widen when you register what he just told you. You have a wide smile on your face as you dramatically gasp and throw your hand over your heart. âBradley Nicholas Bradshaw. Did you just admit youâre in love with me?!â you ask in a playful and mocking tone.Â
You hear him groan. âIm sorry if I made it weird.â He turns his head toward you but doesnât make eye contact. âYou donât have to say it back, I unders-â heâs cut off by you pulling him into a bruising kiss.
He stiffens for a second before melting into the kiss. His hand wraps up in your hair as you pull back, resting your forehead against his. âI love you too. Have since that first night when we looked at stars until dawn came.â you whisper against his lips.Â
This time its his turn to gasp. âThatâs really embarrassing for you.â he states trying and failing to suppress a shit eating grin. âDonât ruin it.â you grumble as he pulls you in for another kiss. You had never known that the group saw the whole ordeal. âHeâs gonna marry her.â Jake says turning to Nat. She nods before responding, âYou might be right about something for once, bagman.â
You roll all the windows down and reach forward, turning the radio on. Its still on his favorite station and you turn it up as loud as you can without causing permanent hearing damage. You take in the fresh air as it whips through your hair, and feel at peace for the first time since that fateful afternoon.
The next scene that plays is the night before his first deployment. You never would have imagined that your worst fears would come true. You almost wish you could go back and warn your younger self of the world shattering heartbreak to come.Â
You sat quietly with your hands folded in your lap while tears silently streaked your blotchy cheeks. Bradley sat next to you, looking out the window. He had never had to leave someone behind for a deployment before. He had never felt the fear of knowing he would leave someone heartbroken and forever changed if he didnât come back. It was choking him.Â
You broke the silence first. Your voice was watery as you tried to hold back the next wave of tears. âI love you.â It was a simple statement that you had exchanged thousands of times. But it was enough to push Bradley over the edge as his own tears began to fall. It held so much more weight this time. It felt like there was a finality to it. A goodbye hidden somewhere between the lines.Â
You silently climbed into his lap, ignoring the steering wheel digging into your spine. His arms wrapped around you, holding you as if he believed he could stay here forever if he just kept you pressed tight to his body.Â
Your tears soaked each others shirts as you cried, your heads nuzzled into each others necks.Â
âPlease come home to me.â You begged, stifling a sob. He pulled back and rested his forehead against yours. âAlways. Pinky Promise.â He held out his pinky just like he did that first night and it took all you had not to let out a wail.Â
You took his pinky in yours and kissed it, repeating what was now a tradition for you two. âPinky promise.â
You were naive enough to believe him. That had been 2 years ago. Technically, he kept his promise. He always did. He just didnât come back to you the way you had always prayed for when he left.
You hear his dog tags clinking and look at the rearview mirror. You take the cool metal in your hands and rub your thumb over the indents where his name was pressed. Something in the backseat catches your eye in the small mirror. Its a pair of cowboy boots Jake had insisted Bradley needed and one of his Navy shirts. You feel pain shoot through your chest and your throat closes up.Â
A tear slips out the corner of your eye and you can hear Bradley scolding you for crying over him. He always hated when you cried. You wipe it away before looking at the sky.Â
âIâm trying to be strong, Roo. I just miss you.â You manage to keep the tears at bay, but your throat hurts and your voice cracks. You almost get out and fall to your knees when the next song starts through the speakers. Great Balls of Fire.Â
You smile and for the first time, you let out a real laugh. He was always with you. You speed up causing a trail of dirt to kick up and scream along at the top of your lungs. You saw a glint of gold and your smile only grew wider. You reached over and plucked the Aviators from their spot, sliding them onto your face. Maybe this was the best way to feel him.Â
Over the next few months, driving Bradleys bronco became a therapeutic coping mechanism. You would drive fast with the windows down and radio up, letting yourself feel what you needed to. It was the closest youâd gotten to feeling him since it happened and you werenât willing to part with it anytime soon.Â
You screamed, cussed, cried, and begged. The inside of that old truck had seen every part of you now, just like Bradley. It brought you a comfort you couldnât describe.Â
Bradleyâs team had noticed that you seemed to be doing better. They still came around often and made sure you were taken care of, but they didnât have the same look of pity they did in the beginning. They didnât treat you like glass, expecting you to shatter at the smallest mention of his name.Â
You were all sitting around your living room drinking and telling Bradleyâs greatest hits. Jake couldnât help but notice that you looked like you were okay. Maybe even happy. He sat next to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulder.
Jake had become one of your closest friends the past few months and you gave him a wide smile as you nursed your drink. He returned your grin before speaking. âYou seem happy.â He said it like a statement rather than an inquiry.Â
The rest of the group had quieted down to try and eavesdrop, curious themselves as to how you seem to be so okay when you were living out their collective worst nightmare. You hum and give him a nod before responding. âI am happy, Jake. Well, as happy as I can be. Thereâs times that it gets hard and the grief swallows me whole, but Iâm working through it.â
Jake looks thoughtful and the rest of the group has all but stopped talking now, fully tuning in. Phoenix is the first to break the silence, asking what everyone is thinking.Â
âHow? You seem to be handling it better than the rest of us, but youâre the one who has the most right to be a blubbering mess.â She says with a gentle yet inquisitive tone. You just smile at the group and shrug your shoulders. âI drive his truck.â
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