[sandmandaddy69]

[noahwyles]

i, a rock collector, had to go to the ER yesterday because of a gallstone attack, here is how my father messaged me

thanks dad

[anremithrl]

That was the correct thing to say.

[catgirlcummies]

what if you were a clam(girl) and I picked you up and gently prised open your shell, and you felt the cool sea air on your mantle, and you didn't know your shell could flex that far, and maybe if you weren't in my hands it couldn't, and you were so deliciously, squirmingly afraid; and what if I saw your mantle shift, uncomfortably, anxiously, under the weight of a too-large pearl; and what if I brought you close to me, so that the cool air on your delicate flesh became hot and wet with my fluttering breath; and what if I closed my lips around your too-large pearl, and suckled ever so gently, and you felt the quivering relief of a heavy foreign thing passing your body, and the caress of lips that could suck you down a dark hot gullet but that wanted nothing for you but ecstacy. and what if I closed you and set you down in the water and turned away, your pearl still under my tongue, and I walked away, and I gave you back to the sea, and I never saw you again, but I remembered you for the rest of my life. what then, huh

[only-alter-idem]

all the other guests: omg don’t turn around but that creepy Ninth nun who took a vow of silence is right behind you! she beat magnus in a sword fight in five seconds. i made eye contact with her yesterday eeek she’s got so much wisdom hidden in those eyes

gideon, wandering around in circles: what the fuck is going on what the fuck is going on where is harrow where is haRROW WHERE IS HARROW

[yamada-ryo]

it implies a "postcum"

[trans-ralsei]

the postcum movement encompasses a variety of artistic, cultural and philosophical movements. it emerged in the mid 20th century as a skeptical response to cum,

[buddwyer]

ultra rare ice cream flavor: shoplifted and defallonated

[buddwyer]

[bunsidhe]

[lakevida]

i bet the pain will end if i arrange a perfect enough sentence about it

[littlelambclover]

gets reblogged

oh so you want to fuck me?

[adamsmasher]

WE WERE ON JEOPARDY!!!!!!!!!!

[rouge-the-bat]

thank you for coming to my this #mythis

[only-alter-idem]

straight people: i love you.

gay people: strike me down. you’ve won. i’ve lived my whole wretched life at your mercy, yours alone, and God knows i deserve to die at your hand. you are my only friend. i am undone without you.

[galliumgummysharks]

the masculine feminine and frankly universal urge to become a massive fucking dragon

[machinot]

Nobody calls each other “terminally online” anymore. I think that’s because everyone is terminally online now. Jobless too. And ugly as fuck. Stains all over our shirts. Stupid as well

[only-alter-idem]

ladies is it gay

[vvdotcom]

goofy ass bitch

[penworthy]

[digitaldiscipline]

This is the 85 year old creator of Roger Rabbit: